Whats the funniest theorie/conspiracy you have heard?

chloexxcxx

Bit random but I love conspiracys, I just find some of them so funny though!

Mine is the 'Plane trail' conspiracy!

That apparently when planes leave that trail in the sky its really a chemical that the government made and put there so that it goes into the atmosphere. A mind control chemical or something!!!

I laughed when I read it!

If you have one, share :pac:

admiralofthefleet

in before run to the hills

44leto

Most them in my mind are idiotic but the 9/11 ones take the biscuit.

5ftGiant

Planet-X. Priceless crap!

chloexxcxx

Anyone hear of the Paul Mccartney one?? Apparently he died in a car crash and they got a lookalike to take his place... Pretty crazy stuff .. Read it here http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Paul_is_dead

Deus Ex Machina

chloexxcxx wrote: »

Mine is the 'Plane trail' conspiracy!

"Chemtrails", absolute wankology.

David Icke's stuff is probably the funniest, but for entertainment purposes the 9/11 "truther" Jason Bermas is the best of the lot. He is criminally undermocked for his performance in debates, particularly the one versus popular mechanics, where he basically acted like a 12 year old and looked ridiculous even next to the main dude behind that loose change malarky.

BOHtox

Most if not all of them are a load of shít!

Sindri

Tin Foil Hats cause cancer.

C.I.A. spread that one, the lizard peoples slaves is what they are, the bastards.

partyatmygaff

I heard the lizard people are orchestrating a sinister plot to corrupt the English language. Something about the letters "y" and "ie". It sounded ridiculous at first...

44leto

Queen Elizabeth the virgin queen was actually a guy.

But the more I watched the doco the more plausible it seemed.

Princess Consuela Bananahammock

Deus Ex Machina wrote: »

"Chemtrails", absolute wankology.

David Icke's stuff is probably the funniest, but for entertainment purposes the 9/11 "truther" Jason Bermas is the best of the lot. He is criminally undermocked for his performance in debates, particularly the one versus popular mechanics, where he basically acted like a 12 year old and looked ridiculous even next to the main dude behind that loose change malarky.

Icke's stuff actually makes a lot of sense if you leve it the ****e about lizards. Governments and corporations conspiring to keep control of the world? Hmmm.... Look around...

Sindri

OP is working for the lizard people in collusion with the reverse vampires to see if we are on to them yet.

Naomi00

All of Jim Corr's bs theories :pac:

Especially that the Haiti earthquake wasn't real.

Marcus_Crassus

I know a few people who believe in this fairy man up in the sky who looks over you. He apparently created Earth too and sent his Jewish son (or Muhammad, it depends) to inform us of his unconditional love... that comes with conditions. So yeah, be good or you're going to burn or something!

That one made me LOL.

RichieC

Im heavily addicted to this stuff. I find coast to coast brilliant.. New conspiracy every night and you learn that in the circles theres a lot of emniry between then. My guess is they all know each other makes **** up so they dont get along.

Dulca underground bases is pretty good. Theyre populated by the greys who are genetically engineered half cybernetic race created by the annunaki. The race who live on planet x.

The bases are all over rhe planet and the us government are in coohoots with they greys to enslave us all. Luckily there's breakaway greys who will not side wirh the yanks.. Story changes thats basically it.

Project bluebeam is pretty good too.. Google it.. On my phone here i typed enough..

Senna

Funniest is probably that MS words Wingdings font is actually an anti jew code that supported terrorist attacks

Sindri

This guy is certainly on the ball...

Where To

I once heard women are people just like you and me:eek:

Pffftt......

Capt'n Midnight

44leto wrote: »

Queen Elizabeth the virgin queen was actually a guy.

Yeah, he was married to Pope Joan.

RichieC

Ikky Poo2 wrote: »

Deus Ex Machina wrote: »

"Chemtrails", absolute wankology.

David Icke's stuff is probably the funniest, but for entertainment purposes the 9/11 "truther" Jason Bermas is the best of the lot. He is criminally undermocked for his performance in debates, particularly the one versus popular mechanics, where he basically acted like a 12 year old and looked ridiculous even next to the main dude behind that loose change malarky.

Icke's stuff actually makes a lot of sense if you leve it the ****e about lizards. Governments and corporations conspiring to keep control of the world? Hmmm.... Look around...

I kinda agree but as even alex jones sais. The lizard **** is like a poo in the punch bowl. Acrually though Dave very rarely menrions the lizards any more and some have suggested its been swiftian satire all along. He no doubt a decent public speaker though and a bright guy. He can fill concert halls at 80 quid a ticket and talks for 8 hours plus.

Capt'n Midnight

That they were going to implant tracking devices into everyone but it was going to cost too much. So they got us to pay for the tracking devices instead, and the best bit is if the devices go off air we usually get a replacement ourselves.

Jesus Wept

My theory is that Chloe works for the government covering their tracks.

Sindri

Capt'n Midnight wrote: »

That they were going to implant tracking devices into everyone but it was going to cost too much. So they got us to pay for the tracking devices instead, and the best bit is if the devices go off air we usually get a replacement ourselves.

A mobile phone?

Janedoe10

Heard that enda Kenny got an invite to the new world order secret meetings .. ! Not http://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/New_World_Order_(conspiracy)

brimal

Sindri wrote: »

This guy is certainly on the ball...

Love this meme.

Here's a few good ones..
http://i3.kym-cdn.com/photos/images/newsfeed/000/167/600/Ancient_Aliens_Eggs1.jpg
http://25.media.tumblr.com/tumblr_lqgawbRMJ31qza3j3o7_250.jpg
http://1.bp.blogspot.com/-_Ursl6BX9yI/Tly-H5n30ZI/AAAAAAAARZY/Cx3OyRnpbEk/s1600/AncientAliensMeme.jpg

chips1234

paddyandy

What is funny about any 'conspiracy theory' ????

Sindri

brimal wrote: »

Love this meme.

Here's a few good ones..
http://i3.kym-cdn.com/photos/images/newsfeed/000/167/600/Ancient_Aliens_Eggs1.jpg
http://25.media.tumblr.com/tumblr_lqgawbRMJ31qza3j3o7_250.jpg
http://1.bp.blogspot.com/-_Ursl6BX9yI/Tly-H5n30ZI/AAAAAAAARZY/Cx3OyRnpbEk/s1600/AncientAliensMeme.jpg

Fukn hilarious.

brimal

Sindri wrote: »

Fukn hilarious.

Aliens

RichieC

paddyandy wrote: »

What is funny about any 'conspiracy theory' ????

You first need a sense of humour and an imagination to reap enjoyment from yarns like these.

Oh i forgot my favourite. The moon is infact artificial. Put there in the past i think just prior to the cambrian explosion to kick start life on earth. Its inhabited by aliens who proudly watched neil armstrong climbing out of the eagle onto the sea of tranquility. Again depensing on who you ask the story changes.

Capt'n Midnight

That they have a DNA sample from everyone born here since 1984 for when full genome sequencing costs drop to less that €1,000 per person, and they will use that data to go after the fathers for child support.

44leto

Boards only have 10 posters with multiple identities. But maybe that is true.

The King of Moo

Steven King killed John Lennon.
If you deliberately tried to make up a parody of a ridiculous conspiracy theory, you could never think of something as stupid as this.

The Denver Airport conspiracy, and basically any other theory which involves The Illuminati/N.W.O leaving mildly cryptic clues about their real machinations in plain sight.
Why do people think that secret organisations who want to rule the world from behind the scenes would leave clues to help us figure out their evil plans?
Sportsmanship? Or because they know it's too late to stop them...:eek:
The Riddler has a lot to answer for...

StupidLikeAFox

That swine flu was invented to be an epidemic to wipe out half the population in England as the population was going to grow to large. Jim Corr came up with that based on two things:
1 - An off the cuff remark by some guy in England that said the population wouldnt be able to sustain the levels of waste it was producing in 20 years time
2 - Some nurse he knew in the NHS underwent training to cope with an epidemic a few months before swine flu broke out.

Fuzzy logic at best

Father Damo

Absoloutely anything in the CT forum here. I mean everything.

Favourite recent ones were, without the tiniest shred of proof, people declaring that the Bin Laden raid was faked before it was even confirmed by Obama :pac:

For some reason, CT people seem to be able to believe, all at the same time:

Al Quaeda doesnt and never did exist

It did exist, but the US government, despite several tip offs, allowed the attacks to go ahead

AQ didnt have anything to do with them. Remote controlled CIA planes and explosives in the tower did it, despite the fact any scientist worth his salt has said this is nonsense. Paid off I say, paid off.

There wasnt even a plane at the Pentagon, it was a missile/ truck bomb
All videos showing planes hitting the towers are faked. All interviews with the thousands of people who claimed to see it happen are propoganda involving non existant interviewees.

Actually, sod the CIA. It was an Israeli operation to get the US to take care of Iraq for them

Depending on the day or context one conspiracy theorist can subscribe to one or more of the above as absoloute fact without any notion of contradiction. The only solitary one of the above with the tiniest shred of possibilty is the 2nd one. And for that to work one has to assume that several dozen people in the chain of command leading from a suspicious few local US police officers, to FBI clerks who passed it to their superiors, to the FBI suits who passed the info to the White House......one has to assume that ALL of these people are keeping quiet.

Wow. Just wow.


I am not saying there is absoloutely no truth in any theory. For example, the Norway massacre, I honestly believe that is an utter smokescreen. But 99% of the rest, utter sh1t.

foxyboxer

Take a sprinkling of the public's general mistrust of big government, add a dash of scientific or political or financial ignorance. Mix it all together with pseudo-intellectual statements, then leave to simmer for a few years. Voila, you have a conspiracy theory.

kincsem

They invented something to replace petrol but won't release it because it would ruin the oil industry.

iceman777

I heard that people actually believe in gods and such imaginary things.
Madness, I tell you, madness!!

smash

Every time... this one takes the biscuit

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=rjZY0KufWao

Sindri

All conspiracy theories are actually propagated by the Lizard People to throw us off their true existence and motivation which is to spread conspiracy theories.


Wake up you fools!

Dun dun duuuun!!!

Sir Digby Chicken Caesar

north dakota doesn't actually exist
it's all a lie by the us government map makers to hide... something, i've never been clear on what exactly

al28283

The planes that hit the trade centre were holograms :rolleyes:

Duggy747

Microsoft manufacture viruses to kill their machines so people have to spend money getting them fixed by a technician who's in cahoots with Bill Gates.

I hear this more times than I should, people like this shouldn't even be near a machine.

Sindri

This one is true.


Planned obsolescence.

Centennial Light.

AngryBollix

Duggy747 wrote: »

Microsoft manufacture viruses to kill their machines so people have to spend money getting them fixed by a technician who's in cahoots with Bill Gates.

I hear this more times than I should, people like this shouldn't even be near a machine.

That sounds like a business idea as opposed to a conspiracy teory

seamus

That NASA somehow convinced half a million people working on the apollo programs to keep schtum for the rest of their lives about the fact that it was a hoax.

What I love most is when they claim that in order to maintain the pretence, NASA went ahead and built all of the equipment, including a 110m tall rocket which they launched into the air, but then decided to film the landing in some studio.

Landing on the moon would actually be cheaper than pretending to.

Mr Benevolent

Fan death.

Gileadi

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Flat_Earth

People reading too much discworld...

some random drunk

Rods! Basically a bunch of people believe that earth is inhabited by flying rod-like creatures that fly at great speed and are almost invisible to the human eye. Documentary on it here:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=mSwbmPM8D40

Cuddlesworth

I feel sorry for the hard core conspiracy heads in a way. We spend our whole childhood being told we are special, can do and become anything. Then, when we becomes adults we find we are not as special as we thought we would be. But if you are the only person around you clever enough to figure out the lizard communists are running a organisation trying to rule the world, you become special again.

simit

Project Bluebeam is pretty amazing!