Whats the funniest theorie/conspiracy you have heard?

foxyboxer

seamus wrote: »

That NASA somehow convinced half a million people working on the apollo programs to keep schtum for the rest of their lives about the fact that it was a hoax.

What I love most is when they claim that in order to maintain the pretence, NASA went ahead and built all of the equipment, including 110m tall rockets which they launched into the air, but then decided to film the landing in some studio.

Landing on the moon would actually be cheaper than pretending to.

FYP

Capt'n Midnight

All that stuff that breaks the second law of thermodynamics. Especially when it involves Carnot efficiency.

That they could run a car on water. (it's easy , just supply water + twice as much energy as the petrol you replace)

Every single one of the electrolysis / vortex / magnets on fuel lines on cars to improve economy , relative to getting your car serviced.

Perpetual motion and over unity devices that
* aren't fraudulent
* where there is an energy density to be harvested, zero point energy means we should be witnessing naturally occurring hot-spots (some cosmic rays have more energy than anything CERN could produce)
* that even if they did work they would be cheaper than existing renewable energy sources

the whole Hydrogen economy, without explaining how they could over come the numerous stages and the energy lost at each stage.

Father Damo

I do love the one theorising that FIFA organised a complex strategy in the World Cup of 66 whereby English and German referees fixed neutral matches so as to reach a Germany vs England final which Germany was then obliged to throw in Englands favour as a final WWII reparation payment for propoganda purposes :pac:

Immaculate Pasta

When Hitler was alive, a secret Nazi moonbase was set up which still exists today :eek:

http://secretnazimoonbase.blogspot.com/

Riddle101

Some might laugh at the fact that I got this from pro wrestling but.
There's a conspiracy theory that a guy named Kevin Sullivan murdered Chris Beniot and his family. I think there's a guy on youtube who seems pretty adament that Beniot didn't do it himself and that he was framed.

Also someone claims Vince McMahon, owner of WWE secretly owns a rival wrestling promotion called TNA.

As for non wrestling related conspiracies. Proberly 9/11 was an inside job and also that princess Diana was murdered by MI6.

Sindri

Riddle101 wrote: »

Some might laugh at the fact that I got this from pro wrestling but.
There's a conspiracy theory that a guy named Kevin Sullivan murdered Chris Beniot and his family. I think there's a guy on youtube who seems pretty adament that Beniot didn't do it himself and that he was framed.

Also someone claims Vince McMahon, owner of WWE secretly owns a rival wrestling promotion called TNA.

As for non wrestling related conspiracies. Proberly 9/11 was an inside job and also that princess Diana by MI6.

GOOD SIR, Diana was murdered by the fashion police. Please!!

Capt'n Midnight

In fairness I have to point out that the Swiss did use electric steam engines during WWII. Pantograph to heating elements and away you go.

The first hydrogen powered vehicle was made in 1807 the same guy also made a car with an internal combustion engine powered by coal gas in 1813.

AngryBollix

Father Damo wrote: »

I do love the one theorising that FIFA organised a complex strategy in the World Cup of 66 whereby English and German referees fixed neutral matches so as to reach a Germany vs England final which Germany was then obliged to throw in Englands favour as a final WWII reparation payment for propoganda purposes :pac:

Brilliant.

They conveniently fail to mention that Germany have played 7 world cup finals since world war 2.

Sindri

Capt'n Midnight wrote: »

In fairness I have to point out that the Swiss did use electric steam engines during WWII. Pantograph to heating elements and away you go.

The first hydrogen powered vehicle was made in 1807 the same guy also made a car with an internal combustion engine powered by coal gas in 1813.

It's amazing some of the knowledge that when we humans have discovered it, have ignored. Mendel's stuff and the like.

Stiffler2

This is an easy one :




>insert religion here<

Sindri

Stiffler2 wrote: »

This is an easy one :




>insert penis here<

Apt username Stiffler2

But no I couldn't, I am not a homosexual disoriented by pretty lights.

Niles

Immaculate Pasta wrote: »

When Hitler was alive, a secret Nazi moonbase was set up which still exists today :eek:

http://secretnazimoonbase.blogspot.com/

I was watching some conspiracy show on the History Channel a while back that suggested that the Nazis were building some kind of time travel device... why is there no evidence of it today? They escaped to a different point in time, apparently...

My name is URL

Don't know if it's actually considered to be a CT, but the artwork within Denver Airport and its alleged connection to Freemasonry and NWO stuff is quite interesting. There's also a 'secret' underground bunker there.

Stiffler2

Sindri wrote: »

Apt username Stiffler2

But no I couldn't, I am not a homosexual disoriented by pretty lights.

How can you be homosexual if you have a gash ?

I'm off to the gardaí to report a stalker !

Batsy

Whats the funniest theorie/conspiracy you have heard?

There are two of them:

1) That there exists a phemonenon called "Global Warming", at the same time as parts of Britain are colder than the McMurdo US research centre in Antarctica.

2) That no planes hit the World Trade Center.

The King of Moo

Stiffler2 wrote: »

How can you be homosexual if you have a gash ?

I'm off to the gardaí to report a stalker !

Lesbians don't actually exist. They're an invention of Hollywood to keep we sheeple distracted.

Sindri

Stiffler2 wrote: »

How can you be homosexual if you have a gash ?

I'm off to the gardaí to report a stalker !

I'll see you there.

Love the new haircut by the way, reminds me of a young Jimmy Dean.

I just HAVE to to tell you the story of when me and James Dean were stuck in an elevator together. It is riveting, and erotic;)

RichieC

Father Damo wrote: »

Absoloutely anything in the CT forum here. I mean everything.

Favourite recent ones were, without the tiniest shred of proof, people declaring that the Bin Laden raid was faked before it was even confirmed by Obama :pac:

For some reason, CT people seem to be able to believe, all at the same time:

Al Quaeda doesnt and never did exist

It did exist, but the US government, despite several tip offs, allowed the attacks to go ahead

AQ didnt have anything to do with them. Remote controlled CIA planes and explosives in the tower did it, despite the fact any scientist worth his salt has said this is nonsense. Paid off I say, paid off.

There wasnt even a plane at the Pentagon, it was a missile/ truck bomb
All videos showing planes hitting the towers are faked. All interviews with the thousands of people who claimed to see it happen are propoganda involving non existant interviewees.

Actually, sod the CIA. It was an Israeli operation to get the US to take care of Iraq for them

Depending on the day or context one conspiracy theorist can subscribe to one or more of the above as absoloute fact without any notion of contradiction. The only solitary one of the above with the tiniest shred of possibilty is the 2nd one. And for that to work one has to assume that several dozen people in the chain of command leading from a suspicious few local US police officers, to FBI clerks who passed it to their superiors, to the FBI suits who passed the info to the White House......one has to assume that ALL of these people are keeping quiet.

Wow. Just wow.


I am not saying there is absoloutely no truth in any theory. For example, the Norway massacre, I honestly believe that is an utter smokescreen. But 99% of the rest, utter sh1t.

Yea all bollocks except the one with a christian terrorist... Funny that..

Sindri

Batsy wrote: »

There are two of them:

1) That there exists a phemonenon called "Global Warming", at the same time as parts of Britain are colder than the McMurdo US research centre in Antarctica.

2) That no planes hit the World Trade Center.

It's climate change, and as the climate is a sensitive and complex thing, the fact that weather patterns are changing and becoming more erratic, coupled with the unprecedented amount of gasses entering the atmosphere in such a short space of time, with effects expected not seen for millions of years in such a short time frame, I'd say it's something we should probably look into. Don't you think?

Batsy

Sindri wrote: »

It's climate change

It's only been called "climate change" since global warming believers suddenly discovered that the earth isn't warming up.

Sindri

Batsy wrote: »

It's only been called "climate change" since global warming believers suddenly discovered that the earth isn't warming up.

No, you mistake public knowledge of science for scientific knowledge.

There is a subtle difference.

My name is URL

Batsy wrote: »

It's only been called "climate change" since global warming believers suddenly discovered that the earth isn't warming up.

And you base that on what? "It's nippy here in Bolton so those scientist types are obviously wrong"

The Earth's overall average surface temperature has been increasing for over a century, regardless of what's causing it.

Climate change has always being called climate change. Global warming is just one aspect of that.

The King of Moo

Here's the latest one: Satanic/Illuminati/N.W.O/Islamic symbolism in Madonna's Superbowl half-time show.

It follows in the grand tradition of "popular music stars are devil-worshippers/Illuminati" conspiracy theories:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=nFdDjl3L9ZY

I also love the many "Tupac predicted his own death/is still alive and hid secret messages in his songs which you can only hear if you play them backwards" theories:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=LWa-clWMZ7Q

So the logic goes, I guess, that he recorded this song when he was alive, knowing that in the future he was going to fake his own death, but still wanted an elite few genuises with the ability to reverse audio using basic software to know he was still alive so they could prepare us for his return.
I also love how one of the top-rated comments on the video links the message to another of today's great conspiracy theories: yes, Tupac's coming back on 21 December 2012!

al28283

The King of Moo wrote: »

I also love how one of the top-rated comments on the video links the message to another of today's great conspiracy theories: yes, Tupac's coming back on 21 December 2012!

Oh, we have confirmation

AnamGlas

Have ye heard about the aliens living under the ice in Antartica?

Apparently they were helping the Nazis too...

Crazy what some people believe!

DeadParrot

just wow.
http://www.bibliotecapleyades.net/antarctica/antartica24.htm

af_thefragile

Batsy wrote: »

It's only been called "climate change" since global warming believers suddenly discovered that the earth isn't warming up.

According to David Attenborough Climate Change is very real and its happening and soon it'll effect us all...

bedrock#1

admiralofthefleet wrote: »

in before run to the hills

He was on the money with ACTA....

Potatoeman

UFO does not mean flying saucer. Unidentified flying object is anything that you can't identify. It bugs me when people say they don't believe in UFO's of course they exist that doesn't mean they are alien spacecraft.

RichieC

af_thefragile wrote: »

Batsy wrote: »

It's only been called "climate change" since global warming believers suddenly discovered that the earth isn't warming up.

According to David Attenborough Climate Change is very real and its happening and soon it'll effect us all...

Batsy thinks the Daily mail is the best paper on earth. To say youre wasting your breath arguing with him/her would be an understatment.

Potatoeman

I will listen to a reasoned argument but I view the closeminded just as bad if not worse than the nutters. Try and watch American news and you will soon see an agenda being pushed. Even over here there is far to much commentary in news reporting.

bedrock#1

af_thefragile wrote: »

According to David Attenborough Climate Change is very real and its happening and soon it'll effect us all...

Of course it's happening - I don't think anyone really disputes that fact. What most critics of the 'climate change' argument have a problem with is its politicisation and the mounds of cash being made out of what is essentially a natural phenomenon. The earth has never had a stable climate and never will have a stable climate - fact.

Sam Vimes

I thought this one was pretty funny: http://www.boards.ie/vbulletin/showthread.php?p=74978837&postcount=2528

Considering how obviously wrong it is: http://www.boards.ie/vbulletin/showthread.php?p=74979652&postcount=2530

Defiler Of The Coffin

That the moon is actually an alien spaceship. It's hollow and rings like a bell.

Serious.

wyrn

Immaculate Pasta wrote: »

When Hitler was alive, a secret Nazi moonbase was set up which still exists today :eek:

http://secretnazimoonbase.blogspot.com/

Coincidence that there is now a movie called Iron Sky, where the Nazi's having been hiding in a moonbase until now :eek:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Py_IndUbcxc

cloptrop

2pac ,, John Lennon,, Jimi Hendrix , Janis Joplin ,biggie, Amy Winehouse , Brian Jones , Jfk, all the people in the twin towers ,countless otheratrocities all orchestrated by the CIA .
They really are hardy bastards.

Best one ever though was Jim Corr saying these new scanners at airports were ways for the illuminati to see childrens underwear. If they were that powerful they could just get the camera footage from when me ma made me try on trousers in the middle of dunnes.

Oh and Liverpool are a target of the FA because they tried to sell the foreign rights to their games privately , this is why Suarez got banned.

Rothko

That the moon is a hollowed out spaceship
http://www.bibliotecapleyades.net/luna/esp_luna_19.htm

Edit: Oh, I see that's already been mentioned

RichieC

Defiler Of The Coffin wrote: »

That the moon is actually an alien spaceship. It's hollow and rings like a bell.

Serious.

Afaik the extended seismic activity after impacts or so called "ringing like a bell" is true.

Potatoeman

Life is stranger than fiction.
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Business_Plot

buyer95

The whole " Illuminati " thing really annoys me, the concept actually gained weight when that lame excuse for a writer Dan Brown decided to write the awful " Angels and Demons ," for a while there people were running around saying " sure they killed Michael Jackson, Bob Marley and 2pac because they were going to expose the truth ." People will find ways to justify and prove every possible belief, the best one I heard abut the Illuminati related to 2pac and went " If you look at the title of 2Pac's album "The Don Killuminati" for example; 2Pac was referring to the Illuminati in this title, Kill + Illuminati. The Illuminati have killed 2Pac " ridiculous on so many levels, mainly because 2pac was killed by thug gangsters over some petty dispute.

It all makes me laugh

chucktesta

DeadParrot wrote: »

just wow.
http://www.bibliotecapleyades.net/antarctica/antartica24.htm

gif on the page seems legit

Pacifist Pigeon

The Chemtrail theory. Seriously, it's actually quite a popular one too.

RichieC

Some nuts in america think the metric system is a communist plot. Srsly...

Capt'n Midnight

Suas11 wrote: »

That the moon is a hollowed out spaceship
http://www.bibliotecapleyades.net/luna/esp_luna_19.htm

Edit: Oh, I see that's already been mentioned

No, not The Moon, the spaceship is a hollowed out moon.

Mimas a moon of Saturn looks like the Death Star

Pan doesn't look much like a flying saucer ?
http://www.dailymail.co.uk/sciencetech/article-1367617/Saturns-UFO-moons-Bizarrely-shaped-Pan-Atlas-baffle-scientists.html

And which was the small moon that was thought to be hollow ?

RichieC

Mars moon phobos I think.

Father Damo

buyer95 wrote: »

The whole " Illuminati " thing really annoys me, the concept actually gained weight when that lame excuse for a writer Dan Brown decided to write the awful " Angels and Demons ," for a while there people were running around saying " sure they killed Michael Jackson, Bob Marley and 2pac because they were going to expose the truth ." People will find ways to justify and prove every possible belief, the best one I heard abut the Illuminati related to 2pac and went " If you look at the title of 2Pac's album "The Don Killuminati" for example; 2Pac was referring to the Illuminati in this title, Kill + Illuminati. The Illuminati have killed 2Pac " ridiculous on so many levels, mainly because 2pac was killed by thug gangsters over some petty dispute.

It all makes me laugh

Not to mention Jay Z and Rihanna are prominent satan worshipping members and regularly drop hints of it in their music and videos.

I always imagined the Illuminati to be a complex family network going through generations in the higher political, religious, royal and business echelons of European society, rather than a hot young semi reggae- ish singer and a former crack dealer from a single parent household in a Brooklyn housing project, ..... but there you go :pac:

RichieC wrote: »

Yea all bollocks except the one with a christian terrorist... Funny that..

There is absoloutely not a shred of even well thought out theory for all of what I mentioned.

As for the Norway shooting, it screams of a left wing whitewash. Draw some right wing nut job into commiting his crimes so as to completely discredit said politics at a time when anti Islam and far right feeling on the continent are at their highest level since WWII. He stocks up on weapons and idealogy for a war against Islam and instead attacks a load of Norwegians? Works on both levels- the right is showing to be a lunatic fringe, the Norwegian state doesnt suffer a Muslim backl;ash as few if any were killed/ targeted in the attacks.

As said most conspiracy theories are utter sh1t but I wouldnt put the above one beyond certain European governments (not necessarily that of Norway)


Has to be said, anyone I ever knew who was heavily into this type of stuff had taken about enough yokes during the 90s to make Shaun Ryder look like a hermit monk.

Sindri

bedrock#1 wrote: »

Of course it's happening - I don't think anyone really disputes that fact. What most critics of the 'climate change' argument have a problem with is its politicisation and the mounds of cash being made out of what is essentially a natural phenomenon. The earth has never had a stable climate and never will have a stable climate - fact.

It's not a natural phenomenon though. Or it is not believed to be. Something similar happened millions of years ago, yet the gasses were released over a much longer period of time. We have released a similar quantity of gases yet in only a few hundred years, whereas it happened over 100,000's previously.

Riddle101

buyer95 wrote: »

The whole " Illuminati " thing really annoys me, the concept actually gained weight when that lame excuse for a writer Dan Brown decided to write the awful " Angels and Demons ," for a while there people were running around saying " sure they killed Michael Jackson, Bob Marley and 2pac because they were going to expose the truth ." People will find ways to justify and prove every possible belief, the best one I heard abut the Illuminati related to 2pac and went " If you look at the title of 2Pac's album "The Don Killuminati" for example; 2Pac was referring to the Illuminati in this title, Kill + Illuminati. The Illuminati have killed 2Pac " ridiculous on so many levels, mainly because 2pac was killed by thug gangsters over some petty dispute.

It all makes me laugh

Yeah sounds almost as ridiculous as 2Pac, much like Andy Kaufman faked their own deaths. In Kaufman's case, it was all a prank, in 2Pac it was because he used the quote "The end justifies the means".

Johnny Bitte

Was on a course with some but who tried to convince me all the money in the world is controlled by one family and they run the whole show.

Its scary when these people are sitting across from you and not the other end of the web!!

Riddle101

The_Goose135 wrote: »

Was on a course with some but who tried to convince me all the money in the world is controlled by one family and they run the whole show.

Its scary when these people are sitting across from you and not the other end of the web!!

Sounds like someone plays Metal Gear Solid too much