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Niece taken into care.

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  • 08-02-2012 2:54am
    #1
    tuffyway
    Registered Users Posts: 10 ✭


    I would appreciate if anyone could give me some advice on this.

    My niece was taken into care a year and a half ago. I was distraught as she was extremely upset unfortunately i was not in a position to apply to foster her. Once I was in a position to myself and my partner applied to foster her. This was 7 months ago now and still no joy, we have done everything they asked, passed all their checks and are by all accounts are perfect foster candidates. There main concern with giving her to us is that we are doing too well for ourselves and are young (22). We have our own house with two spare rooms and my partner has a stable job.

    The impression I am getting is that if I were a single mother on benefits I would have gotten her a long time ago as they would see me as having nothing else going for me so why not. They seem to think that I will resent my niece for Quote "taking my future away and ruining my dreams of having a successful career".

    I love my niece very much and although she is happy with her current foster parent it kills me that she is with strangers when I can give her a loving home.

    It seems extremely unfair as I know somebody who is fostering relatives and I know for a fact that she was given them straight away after they were taken into care. I think this may be because they are extremely troubled and badly behaved making them difficult to be placed with strangers. My niece is very well behaved, I think they would have given her to us a long time ago had she been kicking holes in walls and basically running amuck! I checked the legislation and children taken into care can be placed with relatives straight away and the necessary checks carried out after.

    I am finding it very difficult dealing with the social workers. Everything is taking far too long while in the meantime my niece is in care when there is no need for her to be. She is 6 now and my worry is that the longer this goes on the more of an impact on her. I only get to see her once a month for two hours (supervised) and as we are not allowed tell her that we are fighting for her and want her to come live with us she thinks we dont want her which is heartbreaking.

    Her time with her current foster parent is nearly up as she is only a temporary foster carer and I am extremly worried she will be placed with more strangers.

    I have done everything they asked of me and seem to be hitting a brick wall. I am at a loss as to what to do next and have considered chaining myself to the gates of the social work department. I also considered telling my niece that we were trying to get her so she would start acting up but I cant face upseting her like that.

    Any advice would be greatly aporeciated.

    Thank You.


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    #2
    RubyGirl
    Registered Users Posts: 1,275 ✭✭✭RubyGirl


    Have you spoken to a solicitor about this for advice or try meeting with the current social worker's supervisor if you have no joy from them.


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    #3
    tuffyway
    Registered Users Posts: 10 ✭tuffyway


    RubyGirl wrote: »
    Have you spoken to a solicitor about this for advice or try meeting with the current social worker's supervisor if you have no joy from them.
    Yes we were talking to a solicitor but the judge in the family court will not rule against the HSE. There seems to be a attitude of better safe than sorry. I have met with several different social workers at this stage they are always changing. I am going to take your advice and get in touch with the supervisor. However this is easier said than done, usually when you ring you have to leave a message maybe several before they ring you back which could be up to two weeks later. It is very frustrating how slow the process goes, that is if it is going at all.


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    #4
    tuffyway
    Registered Users Posts: 10 ✭tuffyway


    RubyGirl wrote: »
    Have you spoken to a solicitor about this for advice or try meeting with the current social worker's supervisor if you have no joy from them.
    Yes we were talking to a solicitor but the judge in the family court will not rule against the HSE. There seems to be a attitude of better safe than sorry. I have met with several different social workers at this stage they are always changing. I am going to take your advice and get in touch with the supervisor. However this is easier said than done, usually when you ring you have to leave a message maybe several before they ring you back which could be up to two weeks later. It is very frustrating how slow the process goes, that is if it is going at all.


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    #5
    cutymonalisa
    Registered Users Posts: 277 ✭✭cutymonalisa


    OP, just a few questions so i can try and help. What age is your niece? Is she on a Care Order or an Interim? Has reunification been ruled out? Has your relative foster care assessment been completed and have you and your partner been approved before panel? Why is access only monthly and why is it supervised?

    Again, sorry about the questions. PM me if too much detail ;)


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    #6
    tuffyway
    Registered Users Posts: 10 ✭tuffyway


    cutymonalisa wrote: »
    OP, just a few questions so i can try and help. What age is your niece? Is she on a Care Order or an Interim? Has reunification been ruled out? Has your relative foster care assessment been completed and have you and your partner been approved before panel? Why is access only monthly and why is it supervised?

    Again, sorry about the questions. PM me if too much detail ;)

    shes 6, at the moment its an interim care order that is renewed every 6 weeks or so in the family court. Yes reunification has been ruled out.

    Our assessment has not been completed, we have done everything they asked of us and the ball is in their court at the moment. I got in touch with the main woman today and was told that she is too busy to look at our application and that she didnt know when she would be able.

    I am extremely frustrated at this as it is purely due to lack of resources, every day my niece is in care is a disgrace as we can give her a loving home and know that she would be much happier with us as we are her family. I am literally waiting for her.

    What also has me extremely angry is the fact that I know they can do the assessment post placement. We passed the garda vetting, the background checks, the medical, the area clearence etc etc. I feel like I am in a constant struggle with them, surely it would be better for my niece to live with myself and my partner.

    Our access is only monthly as it is a family access, her mother sees her twice a week, they say that for us to see her more would disrupt her life, school etc. This is not the case it is purely down to lack of man hours on their part. As to why it is supervised, her mother also attends these family visits and she is not allowed see her unsupervised.

    I can not believe the care system in this country. The social work department is 9-5 mon-fri! My nieces life doesnt stop outside office hours!!!

    I can honestly say I am at my wits end!!!

    Thank tou in advance for any advice you can give me.


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    #7
    The Lovely Muffin
    Closed Accounts Posts: 6,595 ✭✭✭The Lovely Muffin


    I have no advice to offer OP, but just wanted to wish you and your partner good luck.

    You seem like a lovely person who your niece is lucky to have.

    Best of luck OP, I hope it all works out for you and your niece will be with you soon.


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    #8
    meemeep
    Registered Users Posts: 239 ✭✭meemeep


    My only advice is to stay calm and patient. You don't want to do anything to make you seem irrational! Your youth may be going against you, and maturity will be a priority. In the meantime, your niece is being well cared for, so hold that thought. Take care.


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    #9
    Squiggler
    Closed Accounts Posts: 945 ✭✭✭Squiggler


    Could you escalate this? Local TD? Press? Facebook campaign? Any reasonable person will realise that a 6 year old child is better off placed with family members she knows and loves and who love her than with strangers.

    Sometimes it needs other people fighting for you to make things happen.


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    #10
    tuffyway
    Registered Users Posts: 10 ✭tuffyway


    The Lovely Muffin wrote: »
    I have no advice to offer OP, but just wanted to wish you and your partner good luck.

    You seem like a lovely person who your niece is lucky to have.

    Best of luck OP, I hope it all works out for you and your niece will be with you soon.
    Thank you. I appreciate the support.


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    #11
    tuffyway
    Registered Users Posts: 10 ✭tuffyway


    meemeep wrote: »
    My only advice is to stay calm and patient. You don't want to do anything to make you seem irrational! Your youth may be going against you, and maturity will be a priority. In the meantime, your niece is being well cared for, so hold that thought. Take care.
    Yes I am aware that anything I do may affect our application which is why I haven't done anything to date. The age thing is really annoying me as the country is overrun with teenage mothers, I've graduated from college and have my own house but yet have to fight tooth and nail. The HSE is apparently stretched to the max and obviously can't keep on top of the cases, surely its a win win situation to place my niece with me. The fact that my niece is happy (relatively speaking) in her current placement is the only reason I can sleep at night. I am trying to stay calm and patient but its not easy. Thank you for your advice.


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    #12
    tuffyway
    Registered Users Posts: 10 ✭tuffyway


    Squiggler wrote: »
    Could you escalate this? Local TD? Press? Facebook campaign? Any reasonable person will realise that a 6 year old child is better off placed with family members she knows and loves and who love her than with strangers.

    Sometimes it needs other people fighting for you to make things happen.

    I think I will go to my local TD squiggler. I am reluctant to go public as I want to protect my niece's identity. This is my frustration the social workers dont seem to be working by reason. In fairness they are just following orders and are drowning in red tape. I feel that she will eventually be placed with me (fingers crossed) however every day that she is in care is having a major impact on her. Kids are great at adapting but the older she gets the harder it will be on her. I am also worried about the long term effects it will have on her. I will keep you posted as to what my local TD says.

    Thank you very much. It is a great support to know that there are people that see this as a great injustice to an innocent 6 year old as I do.


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    #13
    Squiggler
    Closed Accounts Posts: 945 ✭✭✭Squiggler


    Tuffyway, I have nieces and nephews younger and around the same age. I can only imagine what it would feel like to have any of them placed with strangers, but even only imagining it feels pretty awful.

    I really hope that you can get care of your niece, and sooner rather than later.


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    #14
    tuffyway
    Registered Users Posts: 10 ✭tuffyway


    Squiggler wrote: »
    Tuffyway, I have nieces and nephews younger and around the same age. I can only imagine what it would feel like to have any of them placed with strangers, but even only imagining it feels pretty awful.

    I really hope that you can get care of your niece, and sooner rather than later.

    Thank you squiggler, I appreciate it.


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