What kind of script would you write for a 5 min short film?

DyldeBrill

I'm currently writing a script at the moment for a proposed short film.Nearly there, but I have absolute writers block! It'll come though!

Share your ideas here, might give me a bit of inspiration.I can tell you the storyline of mine too, if you are interested

ChippingSodbury

What kind of script would I write? A short one...

davet82

all i can think of is porn when it comes to short films, sorry dude

Sindri

Give us the storyline and the premise and that. Most important thing about a movie is the cinematography and that.

CardBordWindow

The scene opens, there's a guy sitting on a chair watching telly. He's laughing at what he sees. Suddenly, he develops a case of spontaneous human combustion!
Que a 90 second agonising death scene, followed by 2.5/3 minutes of credits.

Fin

Seachmall

He was an outcast, discarded by his family and rejected by his friends. He travelled the streets as a loner feared by all those who knew his name and soon to be feared by those who didn't. His emotions were empty, his innoncence lost. In a world of contempt and solitude there could only ever be one solution...



...FACEKICKER!



Coming to a screen near you.

smash

Someone taking a dump and reading the paper.

minidazzler

Since it's a short film it's probably gonna be pretentious and artsy, so very little dialogue and lots of implied words and emotions.

Standard Toaster

I'd have to secure Warwick Davis and Danny DeVito first.

Fozzydog3

You might want to reconsider your course if you need to go on AH for help

SEPT 23 1989

Man running against the traffic on the fast lane of the M50

DyldeBrill

Well I'm in between two stories so I have 2 written out.Hoping to get about 12 scenes max out of this 5 mins, but I can stretch it to 7

My first script is a man who is a helper who looks after the disabled.He is a heavy drinker, lives on his own and has never been married.He mistreats these people that he looks after, pushing them, insulting them, he basically has no time for them.


Then the break in the story is when he goes drink driving and has an unfortunate crash where he finds out that he has lost the use of his legs.As there is no one else to look after him, he is made go into a home, like the one he worked in where he is stuck with a minder that was equally as nasty as him.

The shots of this will really tell you more, this is a brief outline of it.There wont be much talking in it and I'm thinking of having the protagonist as a narrator, from start to end.

foxyboxer

An award winning one.

Sindri

Personally I always thought Eveline Joyce's short story from Dubliners would make a brilliant short film.

Very little dialogue, just the chance for some good imagery.

DyldeBrill

Fozzydog3 wrote: »

You might want to reconsider your course if you need to go on AH for help

I'm doing pretty good in college thank you! I'm interested to hear what others would write.I have my story nearly done sure

Standard Toaster

Best short I've seen in a while OP

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=GS5bjMYtLNc

SEPT 23 1989

DyldeBrill wrote: »

Well I'm in between two stories so I have 2 written out.Hoping to get about 12 scenes max out of this 5 mins, but I can stretch it to 7

My first script is a man who is a helper who looks after the disabled.He is a heavy drinker, lives on his own and has never been married.He mistreats these people that he looks after, pushing them, insulting them, he basically has no time for them.


Then the break in the story is when he goes drink driving and has an unfortunate crash where he finds out that he has lost the use of his legs.As there is no one else to look after him, he is made go into a home, like the one he worked in where he is stuck with a minder that was equally as nasty as him.

The shots of this will really tell you more, this is a brief outline of it.There wont be much talking in it and I'm thinking of having the protagonist as a narrator, from start to end.

Is that not part of his job description?

davet82

SEPT 23 1989 wrote: »

Man running against the traffic on the fast lane of the M50

hmmm.... i reckon that'd only last 20 seconds the most

Seachmall

DyldeBrill wrote: »

Well I'm in between two stories so I have 2 written out.Hoping to get about 12 scenes max out of this 5 mins, but I can stretch it to 7

My first script is a man who is a helper who looks after the disabled.He is a heavy drinker, lives on his own and has never been married.He mistreats these people that he looks after, pushing them, insulting them, he basically has no time for them.


Then the break in the story is when he goes drink driving and has an unfortunate crash where he finds out that he has lost the use of his legs.As there is no one else to look after him, he is made go into a home, like the one he worked in where he is stuck with a minder that was equally as nasty as him.

The shots of this will really tell you more, this is a brief outline of it.There wont be much talking in it and I'm thinking of having the protagonist as a narrator, from start to end.

Sounds gay. Skip the start and go straight the crash scene. Do a load of slow motion and bullet-time effects. End sounds gay too, skip that part as well.

DyldeBrill

minidazzler wrote: »

Since it's a short film it's probably gonna be pretentious and artsy, so very little dialogue and lots of implied words and emotions.

Agreed! Thats what I'll be doing.Just trying to figure out the scenes to put lines into

Seachmall

DyldeBrill wrote: »

Agreed! Thats what I'll be doing.Just trying to figure out the scenes to put lines into

"AAAAAAAAAAAWWWWWWWWWWWW sshhit!" just before the crash scene.

That's all you need, homeboy.

Fozzydog3

DyldeBrill wrote: »

I'm doing pretty good in college thank you! I'm interested to hear what others would write.I have my story nearly done sure

a roma gypsy on the dole gets pissed on ?

DyldeBrill

Standard Toaster wrote: »

Best short I've seen in a while OP

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=GS5bjMYtLNc

Its a wonderful short film! It'd be up there in my top 10

smash

DyldeBrill wrote: »

My first script is a man woman who is a helper who looks after the disabled.He is a heavy drinker, lives on his own and has never been married. She is a leggy brunette with a rack to die for. He mistreats She teases these people that he she looks after, pushing them, insulting them, he basically has no time for them flicking the bean in front of them, lap dances, she basically leaves them ready to explode.

Then the break in the story is when he goes drink driving and has an unfortunate crash where he finds out that he has lost the use of his legs.As there is no one else to look after him, he is made go into a home, like the one he worked in where he is stuck with a minder that was equally as nasty as him one of the patients regains use of all his motor skills and rides the arse off her.

The shots of this will really tell you more, this is a brief outline of it.There wont be much talking in it and I'm thinking of having the protagonist as a narrator 70's porn music playing, from start to end.

That sounds much better!

Sindri

Doesn't matter at all about dialogue.

Watch an Ingmar Bergman film and you'll have your answer. You want art? Cries and Whispers. And then just have the protagonist stare into the camera as you go in for a close up for a melodramatic finish.

DyldeBrill

BINGO!

JerryHandbag

I'd write a script about the band The Script, and how they get hacked to death by a gang of Slipknot fans. Happy endings and all that...

Plazaman

+1 on Smash's script change and then add some sort of a banjo playing cat in the background to add mystery and suspense (and bring it down to a PG12 rating).

deise go deo

One involving lots of hookers and Blackjack.


On seconds thoughts, forget the short film.

_feedback_

Make a film about a little sub forum that was created to offload all the annoying posts of youtube links and pictures. Then it prospers, grows, and eventually is freed from the nasty mods that never wanted its contents in the first place, and becomes a forum all on its own.

Chuck Stone

Once upon a time they all lived happily ever after.

Fin.

DyldeBrill

Chuck Stone wrote: »

Once upon a time they all lived happily ever after.

Fin.

I'd be hoping for at least a Bafta off this script!

ejmaztec

Five minutes of Brendan O'Carroll standing there with his underpants down his ankles, and the title "Mrs Brown's Lad".

Doc Ruby

DyldeBrill wrote: »

Well I'm in between two stories so I have 2 written out.Hoping to get about 12 scenes max out of this 5 mins, but I can stretch it to 7

My first script is a man who is a helper who looks after the disabled.He is a heavy drinker, lives on his own and has never been married.He mistreats these people that he looks after, pushing them, insulting them, he basically has no time for them.


Then the break in the story is when he goes drink driving and has an unfortunate crash where he finds out that he has lost the use of his legs.As there is no one else to look after him, he is made go into a home, like the one he worked in where he is stuck with a minder that was equally as nasty as him.

The shots of this will really tell you more, this is a brief outline of it.There wont be much talking in it and I'm thinking of having the protagonist as a narrator, from start to end.

This was already made, Danny Trejo starring.

thebigbiffo

ok, I'll tell you what NOT to write. this is the general gist of final film project from college...

boy meets girl in nightclub where everyone's smashed on E
boy brings girl back to gaff
boy cant get it up
girl laughs at him and leaves
boy is embarrassed and looks like he'll never do drugs again

now, when i was 21 i'd just come off about 3 years munching yokes like they were smarties and this script - at the time - seemed like some sort of deep symbolic tale of how soft drugs actually can have a bad effect on your life and state of mind....

what it came out as was a tale of how a lad couldn't get it up.



dont know what i was thinking. and to top it off, i couldn't use the soundtrack i wanted due to the editor we worked with having a limited selection. so i ended up with mostly blondie instead of the f'ucked up, scarily atmospheric techno i wanted.

ChippingSodbury

Chuck Stone wrote: »

Once upon a time they all lived happily ever after.

Fin.

You could spice it up with a love interest:
Once upon a time, boy meets girl, boy asks girl to marry him, girl says 'No' and they both live happily ever after

DyldeBrill

thebigbiffo wrote: »

ok, I'll tell you what NOT to write. this is the general gist of final film project from college...

boy meets girl in nightclub where everyone's smashed on E
boy brings girl back to gaff
boy cant get it up
girl laughs at him and leaves
boy is embarrassed and looks like he'll never do drugs again

now, when i was 21 i'd just come off about 3 years munching yokes like they were smarties and this script - at the time - seemed like some sort of deep symbolic tale of how soft drugs actually can have a bad effect on your life and state of mind....

what it came out as was a tale of how a lad couldn't get it up.



dont know what i was thinking. and to top it off, i couldn't use the soundtrack i wanted due to the editor we worked with having a limited selection. so i ended up with mostly blondie instead of the f'ucked up, scarily atmospheric techno i wanted.

hahaha god I'd say the blonde music was a pain in the arse! Luckily I'm my own editor so I can put what ever I like in

kylith

This thread should be called 'Do my Filmmaking course homework'.

Doc Ruby

One I've always wanted to try would be a scene in a hospital, doctors and nurses rushing around, and a young woman spattered in blood and spasming on the operating table.

The soundtrack would be a variable ringing in the ears and muffled voices talking about the accident and various bits of medical jargon and machines binging away. The camera perspective switches between closeups of her and her view of things.

Before the screening you tell everyone to wait till the end, its very important, then go have a cup of tea.

Then after about 30 seconds of this, her eyes close, and the camera angle is from inside her eyes closing. In darkness, the noises become more muffled and finally stop. The next 4 minutes are darkness and silence.

Probably a complete bust but great craic all the same.

Chuck Stone

ChippingSodbury wrote: »

You could spice it up with a love interest:
Once upon a time, boy meets girl, boy asks girl to marry him, girl says 'No' and they both live happily ever after

I dunno. People have very short attent....

...oh look, a kitten on TV.

DyldeBrill

kylith wrote: »

This thread should be called 'Do my Filmmaking course homework'.

ah I have it nearly done now! With all these great ideas coming in from everyone I could mix a bit of romance between a boy and girl, he gets rejected, takes his da's car out, crashes it into a wall, and then have a random porno with blondie music as the soundtrack.GOLDEN!

Seachmall

DyldeBrill wrote: »

crashes it into a wall

In slow-motion!

I don't think you appreciate the significance of the slow motion crash.

Maybe you're just not the right man for the job...

simonmln

A man in a hat entered the room. He took off the hat. “It's you!” They all said. At the same time like a class speaking to a teacher. “Hahaha Hello gentleman”, the man in the hat said, putting the hat on the table. “And hello ladies he said. Turning to the ladies and lifting his hat politely. “Leave us alone Trent!” The women said. Perhaps it was because the were angry at him for something he had done in the past, a long, long time ago. Or perhaps it was because he was holding a gun at them! The gun came from nowhere. He had got it out of his pocket and now both bullets were aimed at the people.”Say your prayers!” The man said but one of the men grabbed the gun, knocking the table with the hat on it and some other things on the floor. A vase got broken. Now the gun was in the other hands and we would have to wait and see if it was the right hands.

Seachmall

Plagiarism just ain't cool, man.

cynder

Toast, one sided, double sided, done on an open fire, grilled or done in a toaster. Can call it toast master....

DyldeBrill

Seachmall wrote: »

In slow-motion!

I don't think you appreciate the significance of the slow motion crash.

Maybe you're just not the right man for the job...

hmmm maybe your right


maybe Im not the right guy! But by all means send that script to Hollywood! you have a banker there!

ChippingSodbury

Or here's another:
Boyfriend and sporty girlfriend are having an argument. Her period is late: she thinks she might be pregnant. Boyfriend says "Well who did you sleep with because it wasn't me, I'm a Jaffa". She pleads with him that she hasn't been sleeping around but he's having none of it. He storms off. She's heartbroken so goes to the swimming pool for a swim ('cos she's sporty and it's winter!). Suddenly, from nowhere, her period starts and leaves a trail behind her. Suddenly, from the other nowhere, a shark appears and eats her. The authorities call the boyfriend to tell him the sad news. Devastated, he loses control of the car and crashes, slow motion, into the wall. There's slow motion smoke everywhere and Blondie playing on the radio.
I think it all hangs together well except I can't seem to find a good reason why Blondie might be playing on the radio...

John Doe1

1st scene: guy walking down lonely country lane in winter. close up of actor with a melancholic expression.
2nd scene: a black crow lands on his shoulder. Man looks forlorn
3rd scene: Man dies of hypothermia

DyldeBrill

ChippingSodbury wrote: »

Or here's another:
Boyfriend and sporty girlfriend are having an argument. Her period is late: she thinks she might be pregnant. Boyfriend says "Well who did you sleep with because it wasn't me, I'm a Jaffa". She pleads with him that she hasn't been sleeping around but he's having none of it. He storms off. She's heartbroken so goes to the swimming pool for a swim ('cos she's sporty and it's winter!). Suddenly, from nowhere, her period starts and leaves a trail behind her. Suddenly, from the other nowhere, a shark appears and eats her. The authorities call the boyfriend to tell him the sad news. Devastated, he loses control of the car and crashes, slow motion, into the wall. There's slow motion smoke everywhere and Blondie playing on the radio.
I think it all hangs together well except I can't seem to find a good reason why Blondie might be playing on the radio...

Its actually a fact that blondie has been the cause of many accidents.Something eerie about that biatch

ejmaztec

Five minutes could be used to show anything that was any good throughout the entire second series of "The Walking Dead, including 4 minutes and 30 seconds for the credits.

Capt'n Midnight

I'd be pushing for an art grant so

It would be an experimental work inspired by the style of Derek Jarman's Blue, but I feel confident of sourcing other visuals. The sound track would seem similar to John Cage's 4′33″ but would actually be based on Alphonse Allais's 1897 Funeral March for the Obsequies of a Deaf Man for copyright reasons.

I'd give it a title of with six Hexadecimal characters, for the whole arty-techno thing