Did you ever get caught fapping by your parents/friends/other?

Sindri

Quandary wrote: »

Must have been one sexy golf course!

Are you....are you...coming on to me?

Very odd chat up line.:)

Just so you know I swing;)

ringadingding

When I was about 15 I found a load of porn mags whilst snooping a building site.
Went home and layed all of them out on the bathroom floor, each one opened on my favourite page, it was like a mosaic of fannies.

As I was flitting my eyes from page to page and pulling the tadger off myself, my dad opened the door and walked in.

In my excitement of trying to pull 12 hidden magazines from my trouser leg , I had forgotten to lock the door.

I nearly cried

Dan133269

ringadingding wrote: »

When I was about 15 I found a load of porn mags whilst snooping a building site.
Went home and layed all of them out on the bathroom floor, each one opened on my favourite page, it was like a mosaic of fannies.

As I was flitting my eyes from page to page and pulling the tadger off myself, my dad opened the door and walked in.

In my excitement of trying to pull 12 hidden magazines from my trouser leg , I had forgotten to lock the door.

I nearly cried

Priceless.

I suppose I should divulge my own story.
In the place where I'm living now, I moved in about 4 months ago. My first week here, I still hadn't met some of the housemates. Sitting in front of my computer, happy as Larry just stroking away. My door opens and in walks a girl I've never seen before. She lives in the room across from mine, obviously got disoriented (she works night shifts) and came into my room by mistake. She thought it was her room at first and then realised I must be the new housemate. So I'm sitting down on the chair in front of the computer, she's half way in the door, the two of us just stare at each for about 10 seconds, in complete silence, until eventually she goes out and closes the door.

About a week later I was introduced to her in the kitchen, and I politely extended my hand and shook hers. We made eye contact and both said "nice to meet you". We were obviously both thinking the same thing but neither of us said anything. I hope to god she hasn't told the other housemates, no one said anything yet!

Gannicus

Dan133269 wrote: »

About a week later I was introduced to her in the kitchen, and I politely extended my hand and shook hers. We made eye contact and both said "nice to meet you". We were obviously both thinking the same thing but neither of us said anything. I hope to god she hasn't told the other housemates, no one said anything yet!

Oh she told us alright

smash

It's off putting when your cat or dog watches you!

blatantrereg

I generally assume when people wiggle their legs about a lot they are attempting some sort of clandestine genital stimulation. This is probably usually incorrect, but it's kinda fun to think like this..
Except the bouncing the leg up and down on the ball of the foot thing - that's just nervous energy

neil_hosey

a fella in my class in school used to talk about "danger ****"... where he'd call his ma and then he'd try to knock one out before she walked in the door ..

Gummy Panda

smash wrote: »

It's off putting when your cat or dog watches you!

I had an ex who had to make put the dog out of the room when we were having sex. The dog watching us use to freak me out

Abi

Gummy Panda wrote: »

I had an ex who had to make put the dog out of the room when we were having sex. The dog watching us use to freak me out

Next time he's getting jiggy on the green, pike him out of it. Then he'll know what it feels like.

Simi

smash wrote: »

It's off putting when your cat or dog watches you!

No it's off putting when your cat watches you and starts purring!

Iang87

No.

blatantrereg

Simi wrote: »

No it's off putting when your cat watches you and starts purring!

or useful - you could put that vibration to good use.

CrackisWhack

Not sure if I was caught but..... woke up on a sunday morning with a terrible hangover, couldnt sleep, so, I closed my eyes and was rubbing one out to a girl I had bumped into the night before etc. after a few minutes and I was finished I turned on to my side only to see a steaming hot cup of tea on my bedside locker

The Snipe

Quandary wrote: »

Must have been one sexy golf course!

Was there a bend in the course?

Jesus Wept

Abi wrote: »

Nope, never been caught, or ever close to it. I need to start living on the edge.

Danger ****?

Big Steve wrote: »

Nearly caught once or twice by the aul lad. He never knocked on the door.

Me sisters mate may have seen me. I'm not sure about that, but the subject was never mentioned. Shame but she was really fit.

Anyone who doesn't knock and await permission to enter a person's room is a nutter, can't understand people.

massdebater

CrackisWhack wrote: »

Not sure if I was caught but..... woke up on a sunday morning with a terrible hangover, couldnt sleep, so, I closed my eyes and was rubbing one out to a girl I had bumped into the night before etc. after a few minutes and I was finished I turned on to my side only to see a steaming hot cup of tea on my bedside locker

Urban myth.

Spread

massdebater wrote: »

Urban myth.

Urban myth?

Please specify. Was it:
(a) hangover
(b) bird he (she) rubbed against
(c) playing with him/herself
(d) steaming cup of tea

massdebater

Spread wrote: »

Urban myth?

Please specify. Was it:
(a) hangover
(b) bird he (she) rubbed against
(c) playing with him/herself
(d) steaming cup of tea

The whole story is an urban myth. It always crops up when people are talking about being caught **** and it's always from a different person, friend of a friend etc. A bit like the 'lob it in to me, boss' story.

Spread

massdebater wrote: »

The whole story is an urban myth. It always crops up when people are talking about being caught **** and it's always from a different person, friend of a friend etc. A bit like the 'lob it in to me, boss' story.

OK, thank you for that. Now I'll just have a quick one before the wife gets home

castletownman

My mates told me about the **** technique where if you sit on your arm first it feels like someone else is doing it. I went home after school that day and went upstairs to my room to try it. In the eh....throes of passion....one of my friends walked in and I rather stupidly tried to push down the laptop screen with my limp hand, which was, as you can imagine, impossible to do. Mortification.

Sir Digby Chicken Caesar

my mother walked in on me when i was 15 or 16, long ago now.
that wasnt the worst part, the worst part was she made a point of knocking loudly on the wall all the way from the stairs to my bedroom for months afterwards

we both knew why she was doing it, neither of us said a word.

Surion

Sir Digby Chicken Caesar wrote: »

my mother walked in on me when i was 15 or 16, long ago now.
that wasnt the worst part, the worst part was she made a point of knocking loudly on the wall all the way from the stairs to my bedroom for months afterwards

we both knew why she was doing it, neither of us said a word.

I kid you not, hearing that one....I would have been MARKED for life. I'm not sure I'd ever get over the emotional scare...my personality would implode. Dear God, I'd die a million times everytime I thought about it.....

Flincher

TeddyTedson wrote: »

I have a UV light in my old room and it just glows all over.
I wonder how many gallons of semen were splashed all over the house!

CSI was just out around the time I discovered the joys of ****.

I was always slightly paranoid that if I was ever murdered and the Crime Scene experts shone their UV lights around they'd have thought I never stopped dragging myself around room.

They wouldn't have been incorrect.

fullstop

CrackisWhack wrote: »

Not sure if I was caught but..... woke up on a sunday morning with a terrible hangover, couldnt sleep, so, I closed my eyes and was rubbing one out to a girl I had bumped into the night before etc. after a few minutes and I was finished I turned on to my side only to see a steaming hot cup of tea on my bedside locker

Wondered how long this one would take :rolleyes:

Jen Pigs Fly

castletownman wrote: »

My mates told me about the **** technique where if you sit on your arm first it feels like someone else is doing it. I went home after school that day and went upstairs to my room to try it. In the eh....throes of passion....one of my friends walked in and I rather stupidly tried to push down the laptop screen with my limp hand, which was, as you can imagine, impossible to do. Mortification.

Hi 'jay' you twat

Abi

Sir Digby Chicken Caesar wrote: »

my mother walked in on me when i was 15 or 16, long ago now.
that wasnt the worst part, the worst part was she made a point of knocking loudly on the wall all the way from the stairs to my bedroom for months afterwards

we both knew why she was doing it, neither of us said a word.

If she'd have tried knocking on the door in the first place..

My hen was one for the surprise attacks too. The best thing I could have done was let her catch me in the act. That said I think she thought I was just piercing another hole in something whenever the door was closed over.

Odysseus

One of the visiting professors who used to lecture when I was in college used to ask the question what organ is used most intensely during masterbation? Answer the ear. It is still one of the strongest prohibitions today, yes we can say we speak freely about it. However, a significant number still lie, and most importantly one must not be caught.

Skerries

A mate of mine after a night on the beer goes home and starts rubbing one out to porn on the telly in the front room but fell asleep half way through
So the next morning the dad arrives into the front room to see his son on the floor with lad in hand fast asleep

Evie90

Never been caught 'fapping', I have been caught having sex by the guards though possibly the most embarrassing moment of my life. Middle of the night lakeside hi-jinx not a good idea apparently.

John Doe1

Evie90 wrote: »

Never been caught 'fapping', I have been caught having sex by the guards though possibly the most embarrassing moment of my life. Middle of the night lakeside hi-jinx not a good idea apparently.

PM sent:cool:

steddyeddy

Abi wrote: »

If she'd have tried knocking on the door in the first place..

My hen was one for the surprise attacks too. The best thing I could have done was let her catch me in the act. That said I think she thought I was just piercing another hole in something whenever the door was closed over.

I suppose thats what female masturbation is really. By the way does hen mean mother? Havent heard that expression but I think ill steal it!

charlierunkle

Didnt get caught in the act as such, it was the afters. I think it was first year college and there was free condoms everywhere. Naturally i grabbed a few handfulls but it was unlikely they were going to be used for their rightful purpose. Hence 2004 saw a long run of posh ****. I should mention i was still living at home and one night i was having a particularly epic posh **** and in the throngs of passion just after completion condom went down the side of the bed....Two days later, the oul fella picks me up from the bus stop, he's very quiet hardly said a word til we got home. He says before we get out of the car, i have something to talk to you about.
- Is there something you want to tell me?
- Eh no
-I wanna ask you, did you have a girl back here
-Wha? no, of course not
(Should note here, the mammy is strong catholic lady)
-Your mother was changing the bed sheets today and she found a used condom, so do you wanna explain
- Im thinking oh **** oh ****
-again did you have a girl here
Realising the boll$%$ing id get if i say yes i did
- eh no da i didn't I.......I..... did it meself
- wha?
- You know, i did it meself
Than went on to explain the free condoms situation
- well why the **** didn't ye just flush it, ****'s sake

Next day the mother says very little at first
than it followed by:
You do know thats a terrible sin
Que a barrage of how ashamed, wrong and disrespectful ive been to myself comments.

Haven't had a posh **** since

Carlos_Ray

Possibly the most embarrassing moment of my life. Years ago I was tugging away in a standing position with my trousers around my ankles, sweating profusely, trying not to end it too quickly. It was late at night and I was being really quiet, didn't want to wake the folks up. I threw my head back and closed my eyes and decided to work the bum with my free hand. When I opened my eyes, I was surprised to see that my parents were looking up at me, now both fully awake. My father went mental and screamed at me to get get out their bedroom! To say I was mortified is an understatement. When I meet up with the family now we can look back and laugh at it. Its all part of growing up.....isn't it?

AngryBollix

Getting caught **** by a parent must be an instant hard on killer

Chris Martin

It would appear that a vast number of you haven't seen the masturbation is wrong video, where every time you do so,
There is a strong chance that you will grow hair from your hands and your eyes will melt from their sockets.
Also you'll be responsible for many a death of puppies and kittens.
Keep this in mind next time you're about to climax.

Tbh I don't understand what's so wrong about it...
I'd nearly go as far as saying 80% of teens and young adults do it,
Not something you'd go about proclaiming to the world either though.
I'd say lads are slightly worse than women though,
Women may be more hormonal but generally have better ethics...
With lads it's whenever the opportunity arises...

I, however, am quite content with a hot cup of tea/coffee, a good book and an early night.
Living the life

Oh and "if I did",
I'll have nearly got caught on numerous occasions,
Cat like reflexes would save me

AngryBollix

Chris Martin wrote: »

It would appear that a vast number of you haven't seen the masturbation is wrong video, where every time you do so,
There is a strong chance that you will grow hair from your hands and your eyes will melt from their sockets.
Also you'll be responsible for many a death of puppies and kittens.
Keep this in mind next time you're about to climax.

Tbh I don't understand what's so wrong about it...
I'd nearly go as far as saying 80% all of teens and young adults do it,
Not something you'd go about proclaiming to the world either though.
I'd say lads are slightly worse than women though,
Women may be more hormonal but generally have better ethics...
With lads it's whenever the opportunity arises...

I, however, am quite content with a hot cup of tea/coffee, a good book and an early night.
Living the life

fyp

Sindri

AngryBollix wrote: »

Getting caught **** by a parent must be an instant hard on killer

You'd think so but it just spurred me on...

Sindri

Heard a psychologist say once all men go through a phase of sexual addiction in their lives at some stage.

Chris Martin

AngryBollix wrote: »

fyp

For the unadventurous,
Bound to be some out there that aren't fully functioning,
Or too posh...

When you start to see the light at the end of a tunnel,
Only justified reason to stop mid-deed.

noelpat

Skerries wrote: »

A mate of mine after a night on the beer goes home and starts rubbing one out to porn on the telly in the front room but fell asleep half way through
So the next morning the dad arrives into the front room to see his son on the floor with lad in hand fast asleep

your from cork then

Mr.Biscuits

Thread reminds me of the latter half of this old material from Billy Connolly.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=pqnUceOIEHE

amacachi

I haven't been caught but when I was a delivery driver I was dropping a package to an office and when I got as far as the reception the receptionist was on one of those swivel chairs with her hand up her skirt and under her thong. I was obviously very flustered but she kept going even when she had seen me. Her hot female boss then came along and asked me why I was just watching. Then we had a threesome.

I dropped off what I had to deliver and it was the only box in the office still intact.

blatantrereg

amacachi wrote: »

I haven't been caught but when I was a delivery driver I was dropping a package to an office and when I got as far as the reception the receptionist was on one of those swivel chairs with her hand up her skirt and under her thong. I was obviously very flustered but she kept going even when she had seen me. Her hot female boss then came along and asked me why I was just watching. Then we had a threesome.

I dropped off what I had to deliver and it was the only box in the office still intact.

I just caught you

FlapsOfDoom

keep your tissues close, but your jocks closer....

seanybiker

noelpat wrote: »

your from cork then

It also means his friend is really him.

Seachmall

I passed out drunk in the middle of a fap in college once. Didn't finish. Didn't clean the vomit up. Didn't lock the door.

By midday the next day everyone I knew in college had heard about it. Even people I didn't know heard about it. Even The Viper from Hardy Bucks had heard about it.

Twas a surprisingly good day.

jester77

Horrendously embarrassing episode as a young lad where I wish I was only caught ****. Now this was all pre-internet where info was hard to come by. There was a rumour going around at the time that Prince had one of his ribs removed for giving himself self-pleasure. I was very fit at the time and was able to do good stretches, so I was wondering to myself if it would be possible to do this without removing a rib. So I'm lying on the bed on my back with my legs thrown over my head when I heard the door open. I fell over, turned around and saw my mother exiting I stayed in my room the rest of the evening absolutely mortified. The next morning going down for breakfast we gave each other a very uncomfortable look and that was it, nothing has ever been said since.

Seachmall

jester77 wrote: »

Horrendously embarrassing episode as a young lad where I wish I was only caught ****. Now this was all pre-internet where info was hard to come by. There was a rumour going around at the time that Prince had one of his ribs removed for giving himself self-pleasure. I was very fit at the time and was able to do good stretches, so I was wondering to myself if it would be possible to do this without removing a rib. So I'm lying on the bed on my back with my legs thrown over my head when I heard the door open. I fell over, turned around and saw my mother exiting I stayed in my room the rest of the evening absolutely mortified. The next morning going down for breakfast we gave each other a very uncomfortable look and that was it, nothing has ever been said since.

Did you ever reach?

crapmanjoe

Seachmall wrote: »

Did you ever reach?

:eek:

Yeah did you reach? And best story by far here ( if true)

jester77

Seachmall wrote: »

Did you ever reach?

No joy