How do I get him back?

hairyprincess

Oh wise sages of boards, tell me what works with getting my ex back without him thinking I'm some sort of loony stalker.

Junior Jacon Jeese Jurger

With a username like that I'd suggest you start with a shave.

SlipperyPeople

make him a sandwich

Sindri

Break into his apartment, get naked and hide in his bed. When he comes in have passionate sex with him and he'll be yours to wrap around your finger.

Then update this thread but don't let him see, as then he'll think you're a loony stalker.

coleria

buy him some new clothes and shoe laces:D

Creamy Goodness

bitch and moan about it on facebook so that his friends see it. it's how every other person is doing it these days.

link_2007

Shave.

squod

Try talking to him?

hairyprincess

coleria wrote: »

buy him some new clothes and shoe laces:D

Eugh, no, not that one.......*shudders*

stupidusername

you don't. it's the mans job to do the chasing if he's not interested, feck him

Guill

F**k all his friends and make him jealous. 100% fool proof.

seanybiker

hairyprincess wrote: »

Oh wise sages of boards, tell me what works with getting my ex back without him thinking I'm some sort of loony stalker.

Excuse me I am not a sage. Im a wood elf and damn proud of it.

The King of Moo

If Hollywood has taught me anything, it's that a mad dash across town will win him back.

Some Peter Gabriel on the soundtrack will seal the deal.

KeithM89_old

Magnets.

hairyprincess

Junior Jacon Jeese Jurger wrote: »

With a username like that I'd suggest you start with a shave.

I knew that one wouldn't take long

Sky King

Are you trying to get him back so you can be together or get him back for something he did to you?

If the latter then defecate in the cistern of his jacks.

Sky King

That's called a 'Top Decker' down our way, incidentally.

Doc

Why did he dump you? Or did you dump him?

hairyprincess

Sky King wrote: »

Are you trying to get him back so you can be together or get him back for something he did to you?

If the latter then defecate in the cistern of his jacks.

Pml. I want to be with him forever and ever but he don't want me so maybe revenge is a good idea. Thanks Sky King, I'll be sure to tell the Gardai it was your idea ;-)

Cicero

Tell Him you've had a rethink and actually...you're over him now....then wait for the call....

seanybiker

Doc wrote: »

Why did he dump you? Or did you dump him?

Them wimminz be strange creatures.

Im gonna go with the trusty old..... she dumped him, now she is after seeing him with a different lack and he's delighted with himself. Now the lady gene starts going mental in OP's head and she wants him back.


Total guess, its just I know a girl doing that at the moment and find it funny.

Sky King

I want to be with him forever and ever

Well maybe a top decker might still be the way to go?

Simi

KeithM89 wrote: »

Magnets.

Magnets. Always with the magnets...

Gummy Panda

Drop your Knicks and say lick it

coleria

Ignore him and let him miss you,
go out and have fun,
and wait for the lil fella to come back

LH Pathe

hairyprincess wrote: »

Oh wise sages of boards, tell me what works with getting my ex back without him thinking I'm some sort of loony stalker.

text 'd him one too many times without a response?! just gets more retributive with each passing non-reply.. esp when you know some pair is colluding in ignorance. laughing...

Liam Byrne

hairyprincess wrote: »

Sky King wrote: »

Are you trying to get him back so you can be together or get him back for something he did to you?

If the latter then defecate in the cistern of his jacks.

Pml. I want to be with him forever and ever but he don't want me so maybe revenge is a good idea. Thanks Sky King, I'll be sure to tell the Gardai it was your idea ;-)

Why do you want to (forever and ever) be with someone who doesn't want to be with you ?

Liam Byrne

hairyprincess wrote: »

Junior Jacon Jeese Jurger wrote: »

With a username like that I'd suggest you start with a shave.

I knew that one wouldn't take long

Depends on how hairy you were and how sharp the blade was ?

hairyprincess

Liam Byrne wrote: »

hairyprincess wrote: »

Sky King wrote: »

Are you trying to get him back so you can be together or get him back for something he did to you?

If the latter then defecate in the cistern of his jacks.

Pml. I want to be with him forever and ever but he don't want me so maybe revenge is a good idea. Thanks Sky King, I'll be sure to tell the Gardai it was your idea ;-)

Why do you want to (forever and ever) be with someone who doesn't want to be with you ?

Because I think he does but he's scared of his emotions. I dunno maybe I should give up

Gummy Panda

Stand out his home with a stereo playing this

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8MC0G-Lbuuk

hairyprincess

seanybiker wrote: »

Doc wrote: »

Why did he dump you? Or did you dump him?

Them wimminz be strange creatures.

Im gonna go with the trusty old..... she dumped him, now she is after seeing him with a different lack and he's delighted with himself. Now the lady gene starts going mental in OP's head and she wants him back.


Total guess, its just I know a girl doing that at the moment and find it funny.

Nope he dumped me. Totally out of the blue. That's why I can't get my head around it

number10a

Don't wash for a fortnight, break into his house at night and sit on his face.

Crann na Beatha

This post has been deleted.

Sindri

hairyprincess wrote: »

Nope he dumped me. Totally out of the blue. That's why I can't get my head around it

Maybe he's a dick? And your better of.

Jesus Shaves

hairyprincess wrote: »

Nope he dumped me. Totally out of the blue. That's why I can't get my head around it

He's with me now

Abi

hairyprincess wrote: »

Nope he dumped me. Totally out of the blue. That's why I can't get my head around it

Counseling to get some closure on this, he's not coming back.


What reason did he give, and how long ago was this? Not that I think it will make any difference to your odds of getting him back, just background building.

starbelgrade

Aquila wrote: »

Have you tried Steak with a side of BJ?.

I tried that once. Got peppercorn sauce spilt on me cock & second degree burns.

LH Pathe

I'm sure lots of us here send many a txt to which there's no reply. Texts compound stuff like that - n I know if I were to actually stalk someone I just get up n physically do it; like it used to be. We have guys crying wolf in this sense too now usually pussywhipped.

Gummy Panda

You actually need to make a shrine to him and tell him about it.

Guys love a ego boost

Sindri

How do I get him back?

Sniff his undies. That would suggest your loyal to him and he'll come to his senses.

Doc

Okay I think I have the perfect answer to this!

Build a time machine then wait two months then get in the time machine and go back in time a day. Then you and old you go round to his house. Old you should hide nearby and you should go tell him if he takes you back you will be willing to have a threesome with him and that you have found a girl willing to do it. When he says yes signal old you to come in and away you go. Tell him on special occasions you can organize up to 60 of you to satisfy his every whim then travel back to the future leaving old you to keep the relationship going.

Also if you lezz it up with your old self its not gay its just masturbation! Win! Win!

Potatoeman

Kidnap him, that will get him back.

Uriel.

Get some of his DNA and grow a new one in your underground laboratory.

Then don't make the same mistakes again. Sorted

Bruthal

hairyprincess wrote: »

Junior Jacon Jeese Jurger wrote: »

With a username like that I'd suggest you start with a shave.

I knew that one wouldn't take long

Now to do the other one

Rabies

spike his drink when you're out stalking him one night.
Carry his limp body home.
Strip him naked with you.
Allow him to wake up with his arms around you in the morning
Then say you agree with everything he said last night and you'll try anal again just for him



Done

Liam Byrne

hairyprincess wrote: »

Liam Byrne wrote: »

hairyprincess wrote: »

Sky King wrote: »

Are you trying to get him back so you can be together or get him back for something he did to you?

If the latter then defecate in the cistern of his jacks.

Pml. I want to be with him forever and ever but he don't want me so maybe revenge is a good idea. Thanks Sky King, I'll be sure to tell the Gardai it was your idea ;-)

Why do you want to (forever and ever) be with someone who doesn't want to be with you ?

Because I think he does but he's scared of his emotions. I dunno maybe I should give up

If so, then best of luck.....my only point to you is that wanting to be with him forever and ever should be dependent on you being 100% on the above, because otherwise you will come across as a stalker.

blatantrereg

A mixture of looking for pity, sexual enticement and outright bullying has worked on me more often than not. I'm dumb though.
The second one is the most important really. The other two usually just serve to trigger enough attention/emotional engagement for that one to work.
This post is ironic. I know I'm undermining it by pointing that out - but I dont want to monitor the thread to check it hasn't come across wrong.

Uriel.

trick him / or drug him into sleeping with you one "final" time. tell him you are on the pill no need for condoms. Get pregnant and guilt him into staying with you. simples.

if you don't get pregnant the first time try again with the promise of some anal thrown in. can't go wrong

kfallon

Stitch back up all the clothes that you told us you cut on here last night :P

If I were you I'd move on tbh

blatantrereg

Follow him across the world, and manipulate two guys to help you abduct him, then tie him up and have sex with him for weeks.
Wait that didn't work when Miss Wyoming tried it..

the_syco

Get him back on S&BJ day, in about a months time.