Leaving Baby alone?

krankykitty

Just reading this article on Jezebel about leaving baby alone, and it got me thinking.

I don't have any kids (yet, hopefully will happen), but I would have thought it was OK to leave a baby say in a crib/playpen/pram for 5 minutes while you take a shower/go to the loo or whatever?? Maybe I am naive. I'm obviously not talking about leaving the house to go off on the lash, but if a baby/toddler is secure so they can't do damage to themselves can you leave the room?!

This is a genuine question from someone who doesn't have much experience with children, and I'm interested to hear what the consensus is.

Rochester

I wouldn't leave a baby, particularly a newborn, out of sight. If I was having a shower, the baby would be in the bathroom or at least nearby with the door open, same with the loo. Babies can throw up a lot and there is a real risk of choking in that scenario.

krankykitty

That makes sense. Didn't think of the puking thing...

How about older toddlers, would there be the same worry about that with them? Though I suppose once they're somewhat mobile you've other things to be worrying, like them getting into all sorts of mischief!!

Das Kitty

Sure they're left without a pair of eyes on them when they're asleep at night.

I don't see why you'd need bring the Moses basket into the loo when you're having a wee.

cbyrd

my 4 month old would be in the cot in my bedroom while i take a shower in the en-suite..and the toddler would be hovering around the room/bathroom too.. you get to know your kids and their behaviours and whether they'd be ok within earshot for 5 or 10 mins,, if i was to bring the baby every single place with me i'd never get anything done..;)

uck51js9zml2yt

I wouldnt leave my 16 month old alone in a room and mobile.

It only takes a second to pull the tv down on himself and its very easy to do.

xzanti

I used to leave my Son in his cot while I was taking showers and I'd bring the baby monitor in with me and have it on full blast..

Don't see the problem with that tbh..

liliq

I've learned to multi task even in the shower since having a baby!
Seperate shampoo and conditioner is a thing of the past! :rolleyes:
Legs are shaved in the sink so I can hear baby. We have somewhere the baby can sit in every room. (or at least something we can carry from room to room) If I had more than one, I think I'd carry the littlest one in a sling. Easiest way to move around and get things done (and chase a toddler!) without leaving a baby unsupervised.
When he's asleep, he'll be upstairs and I'll be downstairs, but that's pretty much the only time we're not in the same room unless someone esle is minding him.
I just think that if anything were to happen for the sake of taking 2 extra minutes to bring him upstairs with me while getting changed or whatever, or popping him in his high chair or rocker when I'm in the kitchen, I wouldn't be able to live with myself.

chirogirl

I live in an Apartment, so the logistics of living with a baby in a house are a little different. When I need a shower, I put her in her cot with the mobile on , this tends to amuse her for a little while, her bedrrom is directly opposite the bathroom so I keep the doors open and listen out. The living room, kitchen is open plan so she's in the same room as myself. Whilst I'm in the kitchen area, she'll be in her swing chair or doughnut ring.

silja

Jasper Dazzling Backstage wrote: »

I wouldnt leave my 16 month old alone in a room and mobile.
It only takes a second to pull the tv down on himself and its very easy to do.

Agreed! I'd probably be more worried about a mobile toddler being left alone, even for a short time, than a baby. With a baby, leave it strapped in the bouncer and the door open so you can hear if there is a coughing fit or whatever, and it's fine. A toddler may be reading a book or watching TV, but within seconds can be unlocking the front door, or have scissors in her hands etc.

lonestargirl

I wouldn't leave my toddler alone unsupervised but I do pop him in his cot with a book in the mornings when I'm packing up the car to leave for work. We have an en suite and he's free to roam our room while I'm showering, I leave the door open so I see him.

Das Kitty

My toddler goes all over the house. We can still confine him to one floor as he hasn't figured out the gates yet. There was a lot of teaching him what things were dangerous and what not to pull at and honestly now he'll happily play away with toys and leave the other stuff alone. We even took the covers off the DVD shelves before christmas. That's not to say he doesn't test the boundaries or never hurts himself because he does. It's also not to say we leave a load of overtly dangerous things in his reach because we don't.

mum2be

As a newborn I used to leave my baby in the moses basket while I showered or had to do other jobs around the house. I'd always have the monitor so I'd hear them. Then I'd leave her in the cot or put her into her bouncer as she got older. Now at nearly 10 months, she's crawling and becoming very mobile I put her into a play station, like a walker but without the wheels, and I'm confident that she's safe there while I shower or do whatever. A cousin who lent it to me called it the best babysitter ever and I agree.
Being sensible is the key and knowing our babies. What works for me might not work for another but that's life, isn't it? I know if I had had a baby in my early or mid twenties I'd have been super nervous and probably be bringing the baby into the shower while I showered but I'm in my late thirties, I've seen all my family and friends have families, and I find I'm taking a more relaxed view on bringing up my baby and I'm really enjoying it.

NextSteps

My baby doesn't like being left alone and never has. So I tend to shower and so on when he's asleep, and if I have to do things like cook, he's often in a sling on my back.

Hannibal Smith

The newborn, I'd leave asleep in his moses basket while I have a quick shower, but wouldn't leave a toddler alone. He might be in the sitting room while I'm in the kitchen or whatever...but if I had a shower and the hubby wasn't around, the toddler would come in with me

Cat Melodeon

I used to leave my son in his cot when he was younger if I needed a few minutes to do something. He's a toddler now and we have a newborn, so the same system doesn't work. I couldn't leave her in her cot and let him roam as there's a chance he'd try and climb in to her or throw something in on top of her, so she now comes in to the bathroom when I'm showering etc. He tends to stick around wherever she is, but he is free to go into his own bedroom or mine as well as the bathroom.

Personally, I think leaving one baby unsupervised for a few minutes is no harm at all. Leaving a toddler is a bit more problematic, and leaving more than one small child on their own together is a bit of a no go. It's very difficult to be a 'good parent' at all times and keep your children under watch 24/7. I certainly don't know how single parents retain their sanity and I don't think I could cope if I didn't have my partner coming home every evening to give me a break. I think you have to find your own acceptable level of risk and go with that. For some people that will mean never leaving your children alone for a second. For others, they'll let their kids off and let them learn from the odd injury along the way. I don't think anyone can say that one way is right and another wrong, provided the environment is made as safe as possible and some level of supervision is given. Accidents happen, even in front of your eyes, and whether you were watching or not you'll end up blaming yourself. The joys of parental guilt!

Dades

I think as your child gets older you'll know how long they can be left unsupervised in the next room. Some you'll know are grabbers, climbers and wreckers and need to be manacled down (boys?!) others will not have moved from the couch or the table where you left them.

I can shower with my 21mth old in the house as he loves the bathroom with it's miscellaneous water holes and insists on being in there with you.

Regarding leaving infants, I don't see a problem as long as whatever they are in is stable and away from barbed wire or whatnot.

Moonbeam

I think a 1st child is often treated a bit differently;)

We lived in a small house when we had our 1st,you could easily hear a baby with out a baby monitor but of course I used it anyway.
I brought the bouncer to the bath/shower with me,would bring her to the loo with me at home, she was 9 months old before I left her and that was with her dad while I went to Liffey Valley for a few hours:)
I went back to work the following week and put her in a creche beside work so she commuted with me.
Roll on 2 years and my next baby was born,I live in a way bigger house but the bathroom and bedroom are near. She was under a week old the 1st time I had to leave her but it was only for an hour,when she was about 7 months old I went away for a few days with her dad,I hated being away from them but they were happy together and having great fun with their grandparents.
I think it gets alot easier!!

caprilicious

This thread came to mind today......at work one of my colleagues popped out to her car to get something & noticed a car parked outside with a sleeping toddler in it.
She was concerned as the parent(s) weren't in our office and there wasn't a soul around. She stayed near the door to keep an eye on the car in case baby woke up etc, finally 18 minutes later the mum arrived back to the car.
Where she was parked there was nowhere nearby that she could have seen the baby from.

In a way, I can understand not wanting to wake a sleeping baby, especially if they haven't slept all day or have been poorly. But there is no way I could leave a child unattended such a relatively long amount of time.

I know you could say the chances realistically of anything terrible happening are very slim, but even the thoughts of the child waking up alone & maybe being upset for that amount of time bothered me.

Each to their own I guess, sad to say also it's not the only time this has been seen to happen near where I work.

A customer called into us one day during the summer to say she had seen a baby left sleeping in the car when she came in. About 20 mins later when she returned to her own car she noticed that they baby was still in the car.
It was a fairly warm day out, windows were closed & baby's cheeks were rosey red.

She waited by the car til the mum returned & pointed out to her that it was dangerous leaving the child unattended so long especially in the heat. The woman (and her partner) turned the air blue with the language they used to the woman swearing at her!
I can't understand why one of the parent's couldn't have stayed in the car with the child in that case!

Sorry rant over, just seeing things like that really bugs me!

foxinsocks

If I saw a baby or toddler asleep in a car unattended, honestly I'd be giving the 'parent' about 3 minutes, then I'd be calling the police. There's no way of knowing how long the child has already been in there alone. There can be NO excuse for this, anything could happen to the baby, from being snatched, to the car going on fire, or just overheating. Plus you never know, maybe the baby has been forgotten, it happens more regularly than you might think.

It's not my job to judge the parents for leaving the kid in the car, or to try to teach them the error of their ways, let the police deal with them.

galah

I can top that - the other day, we saw a baby and a small child (I'd say she was about 4 or 5, max) sat in a car in the supermarket carpark - no adult around, and the engine of said car still RUNNING. couldnt believe it!

didnt have time to hang around to wait for the parent to give them an earful, but seriously, WTF?!