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No adults home ... What would u do?

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  • 12-02-2012 6:50am
    #1
    Knit wit
    Registered Users Posts: 285 ✭✭


    Dropped my sons 9 year old friend home ... No parents home, car gone. When he got to the door his 3 year old sister and 5 year old brother were locked in the house. He phoned his mam who told him to go in the back door ... Shaking with rage ... What would u do in this situation?


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    #2
    MarkR
    Moderators, Regional Midwest Moderators Posts: 11,107 Mod ✭✭✭✭MarkR


    If you think a 3 and a 5 year old were left at home alone, then I'd be calling the local gardai, who then can contact the HSE.

    Any chance they were in the house?


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    #3
    January
    Closed Accounts Posts: 23,862 ✭✭✭✭January


    Ring the Gardai!


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    #4
    Lola92
    Registered Users Posts: 2,192 ✭✭✭Lola92


    Definitely call the gardaí and local social workers. I wouldn't be leaving him there either. I would have stayed until guards or a parent arrived.


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    #5
    Knit wit
    Registered Users Posts: 285 ✭✭Knit wit


    Thanks folks, I guess I was just looking for reassurance that I didn't overreact ... I did call the gardai ... Left the 9 year old go in while I waited for them to arrive ... Thankfully the station was just around the corner ... Gave my details to Garda, and left them to investigate.
    I got a call back from the Garda late yesterday evening saying the children had indeed been left home alone ... But there were actually two 3 year olds and their 5 year old brother. The Garda explained that when the mother returned some time later she said that she had been shopping and didn't see the danger of leaving the kids at home ... She locked them in so they couldn't escape! She never even considered the potential risk of injury fire etc. if she had crashed her car and was carted off to hospital how long before anyone found the kids ... This was in the gardas opinion a regular occurrence but she was confident after issuing her with a warning that this would not happen again.
    Thanks so much for the replies ...


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    #6
    Bride2012
    Registered Users Posts: 294 ✭✭Bride2012


    Poor kids, that's unbelieveable. You did the right thing.


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    #7
    meemeep
    Registered Users Posts: 239 ✭✭meemeep


    I'm guessing you won't be leaving your son in their house any time soon then? Well done for having the courage to ring the guards.


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    #8
    Knit wit
    Registered Users Posts: 285 ✭✭Knit wit


    Thanks folks ... It was tough .. Especially when u know the child ... I know the mother to say hello to but that's all - no way my son will be going over to play!

    I wonder how many other people knew what was going on and said nothing ... Child protection should be everyone's business ...


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    #9
    theg81der
    Closed Accounts Posts: 1,644 ✭✭✭theg81der


    A warning!:eek: This countries a joke.


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    #10
    mariebeth
    Registered Users Posts: 892 ✭✭✭mariebeth


    Well done OP on calling the guards, it was the only reasonable thing you could do in this case. I know people probably think, 'ah sher I won't be gone long, what can happen?' but you never know. And it's completely irresponsible leaving children that young on their own.


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    #11
    dollyk
    Registered Users Posts: 602 ✭✭✭dollyk


    But they were NOT LOCKED IN, she told her son to go in the back door.
    After the Madeline mccann saga , wouldnt you think parents would learn.cant believe the HSE were not called.:confused:


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    #12
    Knit wit
    Registered Users Posts: 285 ✭✭Knit wit


    I wondered about that too dollyk .. But it was a Saturday evening ... What are the chances of getting a social worker at that time ... :(
    From my point of view the gardai have the power to deal with this situation at this time. I'm hoping that a hse referral will be made so this mother can get the support she needs ... She must be so isolated to choose to leave the children alone rather than asking for help ...


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    #13
    theg81der
    Closed Accounts Posts: 1,644 ✭✭✭theg81der


    Knit wit wrote: »
    I'm hoping that a hse referral will be made so this mother can get the support she needs ... She must be so isolated to choose to leave the children alone rather than asking for help ...

    Political correctness gone mad!:mad:


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    #14
    KittyeeTrix
    Registered Users Posts: 7,239 ✭✭✭KittyeeTrix


    theg81der wrote: »
    Political correctness gone mad!:mad:

    How do you mean??:confused:


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    #15
    meemeep
    Registered Users Posts: 239 ✭✭meemeep


    Kittyee did you not say she told the guards she had gone shopping. What's the big deal bringing the kids with her. It's what we all did. Why would she need help? Is there more to this?


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    #16
    Orion
    Closed Accounts Posts: 12,807 ✭✭✭✭Orion


    theg81der wrote: »
    A warning!:eek: This countries a joke.
    tbh they may be exceeding their authority doing even that. Believe it or not there is no law in this country about what age children can be left alone. Unless a clear and present danger to the children can be demonstrated the police actually can't do a whole lot.

    The HSE can only step in if children are in actual danger or being neglected. In this case it could be argued that the age of them alone in a house put them in danger but the defence could simply be that they know not to use the cooker etc.

    It's nonsensical but that's our wonderful country for you.


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    #17
    Orion
    Closed Accounts Posts: 12,807 ✭✭✭✭Orion


    theg81der wrote: »
    Political correctness gone mad!:mad:
    I suppose you'd rather she was locked up and the kids fostered than try to help someone in need? No more unhelpful posts please - this adds nothing to the thread.


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    #18
    theg81der
    Closed Accounts Posts: 1,644 ✭✭✭theg81der


    Orion wrote: »
    I suppose you'd rather she was locked up and the kids fostered than try to help someone in need? No more unhelpful posts please - this adds nothing to the thread.

    I was being genuine. Yes I would prefer that, I would happily make sure those children get the respect and care they deserve which their mother clearly won`t.


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    #19
    dvpower
    Closed Accounts Posts: 9,183 ✭✭✭dvpower


    theg81der wrote: »
    A warning!:eek: This countries a joke.
    theg81der wrote: »
    Political correctness gone mad!:mad:
    KittyeeTrix wrote: »
    How do you mean??:confused:
    Yeah @theg81der.
    What are you on about?


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    #20
    theg81der
    Closed Accounts Posts: 1,644 ✭✭✭theg81der


    dvpower wrote: »
    Yeah @theg81der.
    What are you on about?

    I was refering to the poster I quoted who said basically poor mother which I think is ridiculous. Who doesn`t know that its morally wrong if not legally to leave 2 three year olds and a 5 year old alone in a house - either with or without the back door open I don`t know which is bloody worse!


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    #21
    bfocusd
    Closed Accounts Posts: 723 ✭✭✭bfocusd


    It's pathetic to leave them alone, I couldn't leave a 3 year old in a room im not in with them, and to use, they are locked in as an excuse is more pathetic, what if something happened like a fire, they can't get out!

    A little boy (4) and his sister (8) were left alone around the corner from my house, the boy picked up the lighter for the gas oven, set the chair he was sitting on, on fire and it went right up, he had third degree burns on the backs of his legs, there mother reverse locked the door so they wouldn't go out, they were trapped, all the windows were locked, a neighbour seen the smoke and the kids banging on the window, smashed it and rescued them.

    I was 7 years old, it was Friday after school, we were out playing when that happened and I will never forget the burns they both had all over. The boy in particular.

    Any parent thats willing to take that risk should be ashamed.


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    #22
    dvpower
    Closed Accounts Posts: 9,183 ✭✭✭dvpower


    theg81der wrote: »
    I was refering to the poster I quoted who said basically poor mother which I think is ridiculous. Who doesn`t know that its morally wrong if not legally to leave 2 three year olds and a 5 year old alone in a house - either with or without the back door open I don`t know which is bloody worse!

    The poster you quoted was 'hoping that a hse referral will be made so this mother can get the support she needs'.

    That seems fairly reasonable to me. We can do nothing, or provide some support and advise to the parent or come down heavy on the parent (maybe a prosecution or take the kids off her). From the very limited knowledge we have, I'd say getting her some parenting support would be the best solution all around.


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    #23
    Orion
    Closed Accounts Posts: 12,807 ✭✭✭✭Orion


    theg81der wrote: »
    I was being genuine and I`m entitled to my opinion. Yes I would prefer that, I would happily make sure those children get the respect and care they deserve which their mother clearly won`t.

    Please read the charter - particularly the section about arguing with a mod warning on-thread.


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    #24
    wolfpawnat
    Registered Users Posts: 6,124 ✭✭✭wolfpawnat


    Two 3 year olds and a 5 year old are incapable of looking after themselves! IMO opinion it is an act of cruelty! But as others have said, there is no law and though you can report to the HSE tomorrow, there is no guarantee that they will do anything about it!

    Slightly OT but my sons paternal grandmother called social services on me when I left my mobile phone in the room with him one night (yes, that's correct people, you read correctly, she is a tad mad though so this is normal for her!!!) and I received a phone call off them regarding it, saying they have to be seen to take every call seriously, though your one on the phone was laughing to me about it! OP ring them tomorrow and state that you also informed the guards about it at the time!

    We all have to bring our children to Dunnes/Tesco/etc with us, it's not pleasurable half the time for either parent or child, but what can you do!!!! Perhaps the stupid cow should be shown how to use Tesco.ie!!!!!


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    #25
    KittyeeTrix
    Registered Users Posts: 7,239 ✭✭✭KittyeeTrix


    meemeep wrote: »
    Kittyee did you not say she told the guards she had gone shopping. What's the big deal bringing the kids with her. It's what we all did. Why would she need help? Is there more to this?

    It wasn't me who was reporting the story. It was Knit wit:)


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    #26
    Daffodil.d
    Registered Users Posts: 353 ✭✭Daffodil.d


    wolfpawnat wrote: »
    Slightly OT but my sons paternal grandmother called social services on me when I left my mobile phone in the room with him one night (yes, that's correct people, you read correctly, she is a tad mad though so this is normal for her!!!) and I received a phone call off them regarding it, saying they have to be seen to take every call seriously, though your one on the phone was laughing to me about it! OP ring them tomorrow and state that you also informed the guards about it at the time!!!!
    Sorry but you have me curious what was the grans point about the phone was it dangerous. Does that mean you have a record because of her ringing?


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    #27
    wolfpawnat
    Registered Users Posts: 6,124 ✭✭✭wolfpawnat


    Daffodil.d wrote: »
    Sorry but you have me curious what was the grans point about the phone was it dangerous. Does that mean you have a record because of her ringing?

    Some person she knows got bowel cancer and according to her the surgeon said it was because the phone was in the bedroom with them when they were asleep. So I am cruel mother trying to give my child cancer:rolleyes:

    Not sure if I have a record with them tbh, it was such a ridiculous complaint that the woman on the phone kept laughing. But as I said, they are forced to investigate all complaints.


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    #28
    mattjack
    Registered Users Posts: 5,389 ✭✭✭mattjack


    Orion wrote: »
    tbh they may be exceeding their authority doing even that. Believe it or not there is no law in this country about what age children can be left alone. Unless a clear and present danger to the children can be demonstrated the police actually can't do a whole lot.

    The HSE can only step in if children are in actual danger or being neglected. In this case it could be argued that the age of them alone in a house put them in danger but the defence could simply be that they know not to use the cooker etc.

    It's nonsensical but that's our wonderful country for you.

    Is there a section called supervisory neglect under the 1998 act now,possibly disregarding the "clear and present danger" .I think it mentions lack and failure to supervise and leaving the child with another child.


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    #29
    Sleepy
    Registered Users Posts: 24,249 ✭✭✭✭Sleepy


    Where was the father? They hardly both went shopping and left the kids home?

    Is he even aware of this? If the parents aren't together I can't see her admitting the incident to him. There could be a capable parent here who'd only love to have custody of his kids. If not, I think fostering may be the best option, the mother involved is clearly not to be trusted with her own children.


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    #30
    meemeep
    Registered Users Posts: 239 ✭✭meemeep


    KittyeeTrix wrote: »
    It wasn't me who was reporting the story. It was Knit wit:)

    Sorry bout that!


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    #31
    dvpower
    Closed Accounts Posts: 9,183 ✭✭✭dvpower


    Sleepy wrote: »
    Is he even aware of this? If the parents aren't together I can't see her admitting the incident to him. There could be a capable parent here who'd only love to have custody of his kids. If not, I think fostering may be the best option, the mother involved is clearly not to be trusted with her own children.

    You think, based on the very limited information we have, that the best option for the kids is to remove them from their mother? :eek:


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