Father Ted

buyer95

( Mrs Doyle falls down stairs after trampling on the tricycle for the hamster) " I'm cured!!

savagecabbages

For those of us who thought we'd seen everything;)

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=J4Al107Xebw

Corruptedmorals

Mrs Doyle: I've just heard they've taken the roads in!
Bishop Brennan: Taken the roads in?
Ted: Yes when the weather is bad they take them in and store them in a warehouse on the east side of the island.

From Kicking Bishop Brennan up the arse. My favourite quote.

later12

aidan24326 wrote: »

The one with Brendan Grace in it was good.

The one with Minister James Reilly?!!
I can't listen to him without hearing Fr. Fintan Stack.

kfallon wrote: »

"I'll stick this effin' pitchfork up your hole"



http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=jCJK_yDAeOM

This one always makes me laugh. It made Mrs Doyle laugh too; I saw her in an interview once saying that she had started to laugh by the end of the scene, as Fr Ted walked her to the kitchen, and if you watch the clip, you can just about catch her laughing:pac:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=jCJK_yDAeOM

I wouldn't say that Fr Ted was particularly before its time - what was it 1995 or so? By then the influence of the Catholic church had dissipated to such an extent as to allow Fr Ted to be the major hit it became.

However, the 'thrill' of joking about something so precious as the Catholic church was still very raw. I went to a non Catholic primary school at that time of my life, and we didn't have Channel 4. And I will never forget splitting my side laughing during Maths classes at the other boys' renditions of Fr Ted's and Mrs Doyle's antics. I simply thought it was the most hilarious thing I had ever heard - and that was about 2 years before I ever saw the show. Later when I watched it, I became an even more committed fan.

I never get tired of Father Ted. It is one of the most inventive, clever and funniest and surreal productions (stage, tv, literature, or otherwise) ever to have had a relationship with this country.

RIP Dermot Morgan. What a legacy to have left behind.

later12

savagecabbages wrote: »

For those of us who thought we'd seen everything;)

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=J4Al107Xebw

New stuff!!?

Are there episodes that have not been screened?:eek:

Bruthal

To me, one of the funniest scenes in it was when ted is trying to tap a dent out of the raffle car with a small hammer, and you see doughal lookin at him,,, "its no use ted, you`ll never get it absolutely right", then the camera looks back to the car, totally hammered to bits.

Totofan99

Father Purcell: We run the gas off the electricity and the electricity off the gas and we save two hundred pounds a year, but then a few weeks later ah God, I'll never forget it now, we got a new boiler..."
Father Ted: Are you alright there Fathers?
Father Jack: Help me!!
Father Purcell: Ah hello Ted, I was just telling Father Jack about the thing there last year, how did you fare with yours?
Father Ted: Er I don't know what you're....
Father Purcell: Because you know they have no morals and no respect for human life. But what they do have and no-one can deny this now, they have the finest collection of boilers in the world! And I include Canada in that!
Father Ted: (to Father Purcell) Actually I'd just like to borrow Father Jack for a moment...
Father Jack: Thank CHRIST!
Father Purcell: Ah God, I remember the first time I saw that boiler now, beautiful!
Father Ted: I don't suppose you'd like to buy a ticket, father?
Father Purcell: Oh, did you get them specially Ted because you know you can buy them down the shop, ya know? Any number you like now. Ahhh... 1... 7... 20... 112... All the way up to, ahhh, 409 I think it is. And if you want more they send off for them and they send them back in an envelope now, ya know? Normal kind of thing now. Rectangular, ahhh, four corners, you know? That's the way I like them anyway. The old envelopes... Oh yes, ya. No round envelopes for me. No way, José...

Father Purcell: Oh they have you everywhere you know. I was in the AA there for a while, but the insurance was very expensive.
Father Dougal: Oh right (getting bored)
Father Purcell: I had to crash the car to get the money back and they had witnesses who said they'd seen me steer it towards the wall you know. There was talk of me going to jail for a while!! (Dougal gets up and walks off, he turns to the holy father) Ah its yourself!! (carries on rambling on to Him)

Father Purcell: This is a piece of advice my father gave to me. Now this refers not only to lagging, but all forms of insulation. He said "dont ever"...no, wait, it was "always"...no er, "never, never" - oh wait now, I've forgotten. Never mind. Whats your favourite humming noise? Would it be mmm-mmmmm or would it be mmmm-mm? The first one there, now thats the sound of a fridge humming and the second one, now thats the sound of a man humming. You never hear a woman humming. I knew a woman once, but she died soon afterwards. Now if you push me to it, I'd have to say my favourite colour is grey. No, blue. A soft blue with a hint of grey. No, orange. Yes, orange. I remember now. I had an extension put on the house, and I put it on the extension, so the house is in a circle now, you see...

Bruthal

Totofan99 wrote: »

Father Purcell: We run the gas off the electricity and the electricity off the gas and we save two hundred pounds a year, but then a few weeks later ah God, I'll never forget it now, we got a new boiler..."
Father Ted: Are you alright there Fathers?
Father Jack: Help me!!
Father Purcell: Ah hello Ted, I was just telling Father Jack about the thing there last year, how did you fare with yours?
Father Ted: Er I don't know what you're....
Father Purcell: Because you know they have no morals and no respect for human life. But what they do have and no-one can deny this now, they have the finest collection of boilers in the world! And I include Canada in that!
Father Ted: (to Father Purcell) Actually I'd just like to borrow Father Jack for a moment...
Father Jack: Thank CHRIST!
Father Purcell: Ah God, I remember the first time I saw that boiler now, beautiful!
Father Ted: I don't suppose you'd like to buy a ticket, father?
Father Purcell: Oh, did you get them specially Ted because you know you can buy them down the shop, ya know? Any number you like now. Ahhh... 1... 7... 20... 112... All the way up to, ahhh, 409 I think it is. And if you want more they send off for them and they send them back in an envelope now, ya know? Normal kind of thing now. Rectangular, ahhh, four corners, you know? That's the way I like them anyway. The old envelopes... Oh yes, ya. No round envelopes for me. No way, José...

Father Purcell: Oh they have you everywhere you know. I was in the AA there for a while, but the insurance was very expensive.
Father Dougal: Oh right (getting bored)
Father Purcell: I had to crash the car to get the money back and they had witnesses who said they'd seen me steer it towards the wall you know. There was talk of me going to jail for a while!! (Dougal gets up and walks off, he turns to the holy father) Ah its yourself!! (carries on rambling on to Him)

Father Purcell: This is a piece of advice my father gave to me. Now this refers not only to lagging, but all forms of insulation. He said "dont ever"...no, wait, it was "always"...no er, "never, never" - oh wait now, I've forgotten. Never mind. Whats your favourite humming noise? Would it be mmm-mmmmm or would it be mmmm-mm? The first one there, now thats the sound of a fridge humming and the second one, now thats the sound of a man humming. You never hear a woman humming. I knew a woman once, but she died soon afterwards. Now if you push me to it, I'd have to say my favourite colour is grey. No, blue. A soft blue with a hint of grey. No, orange. Yes, orange. I remember now. I had an extension put on the house, and I put it on the extension, so the house is in a circle now, you see...

Ahh, its yourself.

Xavi6

"The way I feel now I could convert gays!"

bodhrandude

The Chinese episode was brilliant too, I love when Ted goes to the pub and its a full blown trad session with the Chinese playing the music, of course they stop dead when they see him. I couldnt find that actual clip in Youtube, but absolutely priceless.

bodhrandude

old hippy wrote: »

I've missed my fix of clerical based comedy; the mouthy militants that preach hatred over here are a one trick pony, so let me recommend some contemporary eclesiastical jollies in the shape of Rev with the magnificent Tom Hollander. Much more subtle than Ted, sure but it's wonderfuly acted and worth a look, IMHO...

Was over visiting my sister in Dundee at Xmas and they had this app (cant remember what its called) with their telly which would use Youtube, the BBC Iplayer and stuff like that but I watched the Xmas episode of Rev and thought it was brilliant, wouldnt mind seeing more of that.

vektarman

Eoin McLove: Go away! I don't want to catch menopause

or

Mrs doyle: we should all be very careful on the mainland, there's so much crime around, arsonists and muggers everywhere, my friend Mrs O'Dwyer was robbed last week. Ted: oh no, how much did they get? Mrs doyle: no i don't think you understand father, she was robbed, they stole her!

dave3004

Dougal: Did you say Jack had a trial for Liverpool?

Ted: No…. Jack was ON trial IN Liverpool !

inagoodway

feck off cup

savagecabbages

later12 wrote: »

New stuff!!?

Are there episodes that have not been screened?:eek:

Not that i know of, this was just a teaser sketch for an upcoming series.
Imagine of there was unseen stuff tho :eek:

Heres another sketch for channel4's clint eastwood nights in the mid 90s. I was prob about 11 at the time so dont actually remember it:p:p
Was this Dougals xmas present from ted?

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=dfdFlIWwIvw

Capt'n Midnight

savagecabbages wrote: »

Not that i know of, this was just a teaser sketch for an upcoming series.

Keep an eye out for

Flying Saucer Rock and Roll

And of course Black Books by Dylan Moran and Graham Linehan
It's a bit like Fr Ted in a bookshop

Bruthal

Ted says ye were touchin him

CroatoanCat

Look at that chalice work

Clit power? I knew a Fr. Clint Power

Off to get some heroin, I suppose

Get a good mental picture, Fr.

You were wearing your blue jumper

Shaft!

StupidLikeAFox

I liked the one where James Reilly had the hairy hands

inagoodway

If any one comes here and tries to steal any of those whistles i have, I'll blow his feckin head off

MrJoeSoap

inagoodway wrote: »

If any one comes here and tries to steal any of those whistles i have, I'll blow his feckin head off

I have it cocked an'all, so as I can get a jump on him.

homerjay2005

"but of course, they all have lovely bottoms"..

K-9

"How dare they, fecking ba*tards, I made the BBC".

JerryHandbag

Dougal, when everyone else is saying Amen...

"Eamonn"

GaryIrv93

They lie in wait like wolves. The smell of blood in their nostrils. Waiting, interminably waiting, and then..........................


He's right Ted :D:D:D:D:D

xzanti

Dreaming of past glories no doubt













*I searched google and youtube for an image of Fr Jack beating 7 colours of sh1te out of a school boy with a hurling shtick, but to no avail

BBDBB

more water

MrJoeSoap

Now girls, Fr Jack has just informed me its very warm out today, so there'll be no need for your tracksuit tops.

"Priest's socks are black, don't be fooled by those cheap imitations that are really very very very very dark blue!"

Collie D

savagecabbages wrote: »

For those of us who thought we'd seen everything;)

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=J4Al107Xebw

Surely that can't be real? A third series that was never aired? :eek: