Spoofers!

Big Nasty

Everyone knows one!

Friend of mine is always padding his stories. Not an ounce of harm in the lad and quite entertaining. One of his best was when he was going on holidays he told us he was going to DHL over a keg of Guinness because 'the beer over there is muck'!

What's the best spoof you've ever heard?

smash

Are you Bill Cullen?

Seachmall

“The average person lies three times per ten minutes of conversation.” - Paul Ekman; Telling Lies

I know a lot of average people.*

I spoof quite a bit too, can't remember the "best" one though.


*I don't mean for this to sound as dickish as it does, but everyone spoofs and I'm perfectly fine with it. Adds interest to a story if nothing else.

DrumSteve

Jesus Christ being god... lol.

Napper Hawkins

Thank **** I'm above average so.

TeddyTedson

Yea I know a few bull****ters, thankfully there's easily spotted in an instant. Why do they do it!? I forget peoples bull**** almost immediately at this stage so I can't think of anything!

Mr Magners

Worked with a lad who claimed that in his youth he could run 10k in 25-26 mins on rolling country roads.

World record for 10,000m round a flat track was 26'10" at the time.

I challenged him and his answer was that they're different distances!!:pac:

Used to drive me mental with the fairy stories!

Lumbo

I never lie :pac:

Show Time

I always tell the truth even when i lie.

cloptrop

I find everyone that comes back from oz somehow undergo a transformation into bull****ters over there.
Countless people who tell you they earned thousands a week over there and you see there mothers and ask how they are getting on and you get the usual
"he was onto me last week lookin for money"
They all worked as a diving instructor swam with sharks and beat up a 20 stone maori bouncer that tried to glass them.

smash

A guy I know is full of shít. Every conversation contains lies, it's actually impossible to talk to him at this stage. He once told me "Last night I was out in town and nailed this hot chick in the toilets of the pub"... But that night he had stayed in my apartment after we'd played the xbox for 6 hours. And when you call him up on his lies, he quickly changes them and then moves on to something else.

It's sad, but we keep him around because he's like Jay from the inbetweeners and it's amusing!

xzanti

Never let truth get in the way of a good story.

audi a4 2008

i have a few....a fella i know if fairness not a bad bloke but you couldent belive the radio in his car his so bad.

heres one he swears by...

he was playing hurling and with less than a minute to go he caught the ball in midfield up on the boss of the hurley runing from side to side geting away from the other players,
his team down a goal......runing away still stops looks ahead hits the ball so hard that the skin of the sliotar came off that went over the bar while the inside went into the back of the net:)...

silence from everyone till finally the ref allowed it to stand a goal and a point from one puck of the hurley to this day he stands by it:)

smash

audi a4 2008 wrote: »

a fella i know if fairness not a bad bloke but you couldent belive the radio in his car his so bad.

Fromthetrees

Best one is that my friends granddad invented the widget that is in cans of Guiness. :rolleyes: There's just too many from this fela to list them all but another one is his other granddad commanded the IRA in munster during the war of independence. :rolleyes:

Standard Toaster

smash wrote: »

It's sad, but we keep him around because he's like Jay from the inbetweeners and it's amusing!

I've a Jay mate too!

A while back he got a new Alsatian to guard his place and he went on to tell us he had him imported directly from Germany no less....and how he can only speak German to him.

Now this lad can manage to just about string together an English sentence, never mind German!




Edit

Oh and how his aul lad was quicker around the IOM TT then Joey Dunlop when Joey gave him 'a shot' on his bike :rolleyes:

SEPT 23 1989

I dislike the word "Spoofer"

kfallon

Plenty of 'spoofers' on here tbh :rolleyes:

:P

cloptrop

I used to work with a fella that would ask you what you did last night.
He then would proceed to tell ye that he did the exact same thing only he drank one bottle of beer more.
He told me a fella hit his older brother so he took yer mans car brought it up howth hill set it a light and let the handbrake off it. If anyone knows howth hill theyd smell **** off that story straight away and itd make news headlines everywhere if his story was true .
FLAMING CAR RUNS FROM TOP OF HOWTH HILL DOWN INTO TOWN CENTRE
He also rode a million birds at this stage because he got his hole nearly every night off a different bird.
Ive another mate who claimed he was an apprentice dentist.

foxyboxer

I try not to lie/cod/spoof as much as possible.

When you do lie, you need to tell additional lies to back up the initial lie and then more lies to support the additional lies until you're life becomes like a sihtty sitcom.

smash

foxyboxer wrote: »

I try not to lie/cod/spoof as much as possible.

When you do lie, you need to tell additional lies to back up the initial lie and then more lies to support the additional lies until you're life becomes like a sihtty sitcom.

Says the guy living in 123 Fake Street....

Gyalist

I wrote this post on a previous thread about spoofers/spoofing.

I was at the wedding of an old school friend in the US last year. The night before the wedding we went to the church for the rehearsal, after which the groom's parents had organised a dinner for the wedding party at an upmarket local restaurant.

At the rehearsal the bride, who I had never met before, asked me if I would say a few words in Irish at the dinner. I tried to fob her off but she was insistent and persuasive, so I foolishly said yes.

Now I had the small problem of giving a toast despite not speaking a word of Irish. I'm not Irish and even though I've lived here for the past 25 years, I've not learned any Irish. However, in that time I've come across some fantastic spoofers.

Suddenly in the midst of the rehearsal I came up with a genius idea and grabbed a napkin and wrote it down.

At the dinner we were all having a great time when suddenly it was my turn to speak. I stood up, looked around the room and smiled, and confidently declaimed, "Dun Laoghaire, Glenageary, Glasthule, Dalkey. Sláinte."

mikemac1

It seems every parish in Ireland had someone who bought a ticket for the Titanic but missed the boat
I've heard that story far too many times now

And the other relation was a commandant in old IRA fighting the black n'tans. If the IRA was as big as the spoofers claim they could nearly have launched an invasion of Wales

Don't forget the other lad who took an itinerant girl home one night.
Enough of your fancy stuff boss, horse it in
Yet the spoofers swear to me it's true.


And finally the lad who could have trials with Liverpool and Blackburn but never went, too fond of the drink
That one is actually true, I know a lad who had offers and literally pissed away his chances.

Gummy Panda

I worked one day with this guy who told me he was being head hunted for a much better position by loads of companies. He then told me of this massive project he was involved in that required importing electrical product from Japan. The item got damaged in transit so he abused the account manager of the courier company.

By the end of the day he told me his bro was flying 747s and bring home air hostesses every night that they both partied with. I couldn't understand why he was lying so much. Was he trying to impress me or fool himself about his position in life?

the groutch

there's a building on Kildare Street where you find over a hundred spoofers

CardBordWindow

audi a4 2008 wrote: »

i have a few....a fella i know if fairness not a bad bloke but you couldent belive the radio in his car his so bad.

heres one he swears by...

he was playing hurling and with less than a minute to go he caught the ball in midfield up on the boss of the hurley runing from side to side geting away from the other players,
his team down a goal......runing away still stops looks ahead hits the ball so hard that the skin of the sliotar came off that went over the bar while the inside went into the back of the net:)...

silence from everyone till finally the ref allowed it to stand a goal and a point from one puck of the hurley to this day he stands by it:)

In fairness, that was the best finish to any match I've ever had the joy to watch!

True Story.

wilkie2006

One of the lads - a friend of a friend, really - constantly lies. The thing is, a lot of them are mad lies and don't actually benefit him in any way.

We used to work together in shop. Making boring Monday morning conversation with him, I asked what he'd been up to over the weekend; "Ah, nothing much, just worked. It was fairly busy here on Saturday", he replied. Now, it was a small shop and I knew he hadn't worked over the weekend because I had. What was the fcuking point of that lie? Bizarre.

Duggy747

Knew a guy in college who bullshìtted so much that you'd need a 2nd opinion if you asked him the time.

You know the type, they say they don't remember a thing about going out last night because they got, like, so wasted....................but have no problem detailing you the exact (read, "made-up") number of shots and pints they had which, of course, would be enough to kill a rhino stone dead, let alone a human.

wilkie2006

Standard Toaster

wilkie2006 wrote: »

One of the lads - a friend of a friend, really - constantly lies. The thing is, a lot of them are mad lies and don't actually benefit him in any way.

We used to work together in shop. Making boring Monday morning conversation with him, I asked what he'd been up to over the weekend; "Ah, nothing much, just worked. It was fairly busy here on Saturday", he replied. Now, it was a small shop and I knew he hadn't worked over the weekend because I had. What was the fcuking point of that lie? Bizarre.

Sounds to me like your friend is in fact your imaginary friend.

mconigol

Gyalist wrote: »

I wrote this post on a previous thread about spoofers/spoofing.

Well she did ask you to say a few words so technically not spoofing...

Jimmy Macnulty

The details of my life are quite inconsequential... very well, where do I begin? My father was a relentlessly self-improving boulangerie owner from Belgium with low grade narcolepsy and a penchant for buggery. My mother was a fifteen year old French prostitute named Chloe with webbed feet. My father would womanize, he would drink. He would make outrageous claims like he invented the question mark. Sometimes he would accuse chestnuts of being lazy. The sort of general malaise that only the genius possess and the insane lament. My childhood was typical. Summers in Rangoon, luge lessons. In the spring we'd make meat helmets. When I was insolent I was placed in a burlap bag and beaten with reeds- pretty standard really. At the age of twelve I received my first scribe. At the age of fourteen a Zoroastrian named Vilma ritualistically shaved my testicles. There really is nothing like a shorn scrotum... it's breathtaking- I highly suggest you try it.

Sentid

In primary school we were preparing for the communion, one fella seriously insisted that his grandfather was the pope

Fat ape

gcgirl

The amount of spoofers that simply have low self esteem issues is scary, people make up lies to make them selfs feel good about themselves, few of my sons friends are like that, you cannot believe them and what ever they come out with

cloptrop

wilkie2006 wrote: »

One of the lads - a friend of a friend, really - constantly lies. The thing is, a lot of them are mad lies and don't actually benefit him in any way.

We used to work together in shop. Making boring Monday morning conversation with him, I asked what he'd been up to over the weekend; "Ah, nothing much, just worked. It was fairly busy here on Saturday", he replied. Now, it was a small shop and I knew he hadn't worked over the weekend because I had. What was the fcuking point of that lie? Bizarre.

yep i was in fas with a fella from sligo that weighed about 20 stone even though he played 2 football and 1 hurling matches every weekend . This fella would lie about anything . He called himself chris even though his name was kieran. He had a scar going from his eye to the back of his neck from being bottled by a huge polish fella whom he subsequently got the better of. The funny thing was there was no scar there but he really believed there was you just couldnt see it because his hair was long , even though he had a near raw blade at the back and no hair from his eye to his hair.
Actually he said he was from sligo, coulda been from anywhere I suppose.

foxyboxer

...there are no more.

Where To

One I always enjoy is the amount of people whose lotto numbers came up the one week they didn't play it.

Riddle101

Friend of mine years ago told me he had a threesome with these two girls in his house. He then heard his mother coming up the stairs so the girls climbed out the window and down a ladder that was placed there. To this day he still insists it actually happened:rolleyes:

Cee-Jay-Cee

I work with a lad with a very very vivid imagination, no matter what anyone does, he has done it twice before, if someone mentions a movie, he has seen it even if it isnt in the cinema yet. According to his stories he has owner over 100 cars in his life because as soon as anyone mentions a make/model he pipes up that he used to own one and it was crap/brilliant/whatever. He has been to every country in the world at this rate too.

But the best one he came out with is when i bought a new house last year. The house was a new build and had been on the market for a year or so. I was explaining where it was and showed him a picture of it on daft.ie and he proclaimed that he had looked at it the year before and was going to buy it but backed out of the deal as he found something else he preferred. Now he's been living in the same house for the last 8 years, he owns it and it is not for sale now nor was it for sale in the past.

He simply cannot let anyone tell their story without his input on the matter. Its annoying at times but its more laughable than anything else as he has told so many stories at this stage that he has been caught out several times when he's forgotten something he's previously told.

cloptrop

Yep its so irritating you go into work thinkin you have a good story and these saps steal your thunder .

wilkie2006

wilkie2006 wrote: »

One of the lads - a friend of a friend, really - constantly lies. The thing is, a lot of them are mad lies and don't actually benefit him in any way.

We used to work together in shop. Making boring Monday morning conversation with him, I asked what he'd been up to over the weekend; "Ah, nothing much, just worked. It was fairly busy here on Saturday", he replied. Now, it was a small shop and I knew he hadn't worked over the weekend because I had. What was the fcuking point of that lie? Bizarre.

Standard Toaster wrote: »

Sounds to me like your friend is in fact your imaginary friend.

If I had an imaginary friend, it'd be a naked Mila Kunis, not some twatty idiot who tells stupid lies

ImpossibleDuck

My friend once had a rifle that when you shot it, the bullet travelled so far that (because the earth is round *sigh*) it went into outer space...... *facepalm*

A lot of really dumb stories...a lot of them about girls he'd impregnated...this is all by maybe age 14.

Big Nasty

wilkie2006 wrote: »

That is one seriously poxy haircut! :eek::eek::eek:

flanders1979

Whenever I hear the word spoofer I always imagine Londoners.

notwise

Yesterday on FB, a girl puts up:

"I'm not really one for Valentines Day BUT.....Awww I was in d shop lookin at d flowers and there was an elderly man there and he started talkin to me. He was like "its a great day isn't it, all d flowers are sellin out, its great to see people celebrate it". I agreed and nodded, he had a bunch in his hand and den he said "I'm off to d grave now with these, happy valentines day".. Aww dat melted my heart.. ♥ xxx Happy Valentines Day Everyone xxx "

Cue all her friends "aw hun dats soo cuuute" and other brain dead responses.
My friend in Oz who is australian puts up the same story in different words today(not claiming for it to have happened to her though)

Proving that this knob is a complete lying arsehole (which I'd already known anyway!):D

BraziliaNZ

cloptrop wrote: »

I find everyone that comes back from oz somehow undergo a transformation into bull****ters over there.
Countless people who tell you they earned thousands a week over there and you see there mothers and ask how they are getting on and you get the usual
"he was onto me last week lookin for money"
They all worked as a diving instructor swam with sharks and beat up a 20 stone maori bouncer that tried to glass them.

I'll never understand the bitterness some Irish people have towards other Irish people who have been to Australia...

notwise

BraziliaNZ wrote: »

I'll never understand the bitterness some Irish people have towards other Irish people who have been to Australia...

Tell me about it!!! A shower of begrudgers.

Rastapitts

that my name is Chuck Norris

pissblast

BraziliaNZ wrote: »

I'll never understand the bitterness some Irish people have towards other Irish people who have been to Australia...

whats so good about Australia exactly?

To hot that u sweat even while taking a shower

snakes taranchulas roaming around u bedroom during the night instead of eh nothing except the odd moth

Jobs? yeah ok but ive got one

mconigol

BraziliaNZ wrote: »

I'll never understand the bitterness some Irish people have towards other Irish people who have been to Australia...

Generally bitter about anyone who has been anywhere and who may have changed since they left secondary school...

4zn76tysfajdxp

mconigol wrote: »

Generally bitter about anyone who has been anywhere and who may have changed since they left secondary school...

Surely they're not annoyed because they went to Australia but because they came back and can't shut up about it.