Spoofers!

Gracelessly Tom

pissblast wrote: »

whats so good about Australia exactly?

To hot that u sweat even while taking a shower

snakes taranchulas roaming around u bedroom during the night instead of eh nothing except the odd moth

Jobs? yeah ok but ive got one

Certainly not as an English teacher.

DEFTLEFTHAND

The train driver got ill at Kildare so I drove her in the rest of the way.

An acquaintance of mine who briefly worked with Irish Rail when he was about 14 told me that. He said driving a train is like riding a bike, it never leaves you.:rolleyes:

mconigol

Brian Damp Player wrote: »

Surely they're not annoyed because they went to Australia but because they came back and can't shut up about it.

What's there to shut up about though? Somebody talking about their life or are they supposed to ignore those years and pretend they didn't happen as soon as they reach dublin airport??

notwise

pissblast wrote: »

whats so good about Australia exactly?

To hot that u sweat even while taking a shower

snakes taranchulas roaming around u bedroom during the night instead of eh nothing except the odd moth

Jobs? yeah ok but ive got one

Yes it's lovely and hot, it's pleasant, you can plan things without having to think of what the weather is going to be like.
I never recall sweating "even while taking a shower"
I never have seen a snake or a tarantula in my bedroom (seriously?!)
And yeah there are jobs and the word 'recession' is rarely heard.
there is nothing wrong with staying in Ireland, but there is certainly nothing wrong with travelling and broadening your horizons either.
I lived in Ireland for 26 years! What's wrong with seeing a bit of the world!

Conall Cernach

As a young fella I was given to the odd bit of spoofing too (nowhere near as bad as yer man in The Inbetweeners though). One spoof of mine was that a book that was eagerly awaited by my cousins and me was released in the South a month before the North (they lived in the north and me in the south). So I spoofed that I had read it already. They in turn asked me what happened so I spent the best part of an hour making up the plot as I went along including who from the last book got killed etc. The funny thing is that when the book (Guardians of the West - please avoid it) was eventually released it was terrible and a real let down compared to my masterpiece.

My brother had a friend who was so gullible that you couldn't resist spoofing him. He believed that my father was an international mercenary and that my real name was Leonard (it's not) and that I only called myself my real name because I didn't like Leonard.

cloptrop

mas

BraziliaNZ wrote: »

I'll never understand the bitterness some Irish people have towards other Irish people who have been to Australia...

I have no bitterness against anyone who went to austrailia

mconigol wrote: »

Generally bitter about anyone who has been anywhere and who may have changed since they left secondary school...

It actually irritates me that some people I know from school still live in their , smoke weed and play x box all day listening to rap and sell weed in deals . They are 30 grow up.

mconigol wrote: »

What's there to shut up about though? Somebody talking about their life or are they supposed to ignore those years and pretend they didn't happen as soon as they reach dublin airport??

Ah here we are another post about austrailia yak yak yak . Why does everything have to be about austrailia though . You ask them are they going the shop and you have to listen about the shop they went to in austrailia that was much better. There isnt anything you can do that doesnt end up with a story about austrailia. It was a year have you nothing else in your 20 odd years to talk about other than a year of selling icecreams on a beach and pretending you were a diving instructor. Its just a holiday like any other I allocate you the same amount of time Id allocate someone that went to tenerife. One maybe two stories then it gets boring . Its just a place .

firefly08

Best one is that my friends granddad invented the widget that is in cans of Guiness.

Wait, is that a well known urban myth or something? Coz I know someone who claims that. Wonder if it's the same person, but for the life of me I can't quite remember who it is, I just know it's someone I work with.

stmol32

wilkie2006 wrote: »

..... and I knew he hadn't worked over the weekend because I had.

Are you Tyler Durden?

When I was in first or second class my mam told me one Wednesday night that we won the lotto.. The next day I went into school and proclaimed that we were now considerably richer thanks to the lotto win.

I got in loads of trouble for telling lies and the principle rang my mam, she denied saying anything about the lotto to me and that I had an overactive imagination.


She now tells the story with glee to anyone who listens. The wagon.

vixdname

notwise wrote: »

Yes it's lovely and hot, it's pleasant, you can plan things without having to think of what the weather is going to be like.
I never recall sweating "even while taking a shower"
I never have seen a snake or a tarantula in my bedroom (seriously?!)
And yeah there are jobs and the word 'recession' is rarely heard.
there is nothing wrong with staying in Ireland, but there is certainly nothing wrong with travelling and broadening your horizons either.
I lived in Ireland for 26 years! What's wrong with seeing a bit of the world!

Theres absolutely nothing at all wrong with travelling the world and broadening your horizons, I done it myself a few years back and enjoyed every minute of it.
I think what some of the lads heres are saying, and I have to admit, I've met these types myself over the years, is that there are certain types that go away for a few weeks \ months \ years and when they come back, the have a very negative attitude to Ireland and sometimes look down their noses at acquaintances of theirs that may have stayed at home while they travelled and think that because they've experienced some things their peers may not have, that they can talk true their proverbial H o l e s about their far away escapades and expect the poor fools from home to believe it word for word.
This is by no means a new phenomena, back in the 80s when economic hardship resulted in lots of irish men and women having to travel to england for work with the net result that lads came back from england after spending a year there or less with broader, thicker accents then the english locals themselves, went around splashing their money and buying drink for everyone and wearing their best clobber for the few days they were home and stinking of "Hi Karate" cologne. The reality was that these poor souls had saved as much money as possible for their trip home and wanted to give the impression that they were a "Local Lad Done Well" when in reality lots of them were anything but.

The King of Moo

I knew a few really bad spoofers when I was working in a supermarket. I think somehow they felt embarrassed about working there and hate to make stuff up to make themselves look better.

One English guy claimed to have been a supervisor in a nuclear power plant in England. He never explained the transition from that to an Irish supermarket.

Another guy in his late twenties would always brag about how many girls he'd kissed the night before. I never went out with him so I can't confirm he was lying, but he'd talk about it like he was a kid, saying things like, "Yeah, I shifted seven girls last night!" Disregarding his lack of looks or charm, surely at least one of the seven might notice him kissing another girl in a small nightclub.

Another guy would always go on about all the drugs he'd taken the night before, but again, in a way that sounded exactly like he'd never taken any in his life: "I had sooooo much cocaine last night!"
He also once claimed he was late for work as on the way, a driver had splashed him as he was walking on the footpath. So naturally he dragged the driver out of the car and beat him up in the middle of the busy city centre street.

I also had to spend literally a few hours one night listening to one guy go on about all the incredibly violent fights he'd been in where he'd almost got killed. None of them were just scraps: they were all Hollywood-style set pieces with weapons and a number of different locations in a single fight. I might have believed one or two, but he kept going on (Even though no-one asked to hear the stories) and must have told us of about fifty fights.
At one point he showed me a picture of a girl and told me he loved her and though he wasn't going out with her, he'd never go out with anyone else and he'd marry her. A few months later I started to see him going about hand-in-hand with a girl from work, who most certainly was not the girl from the picture.
He also said he'd kill himself when he was thirty. I wonder how that worked out for him.

I know one person in particular though, who used to lie pretty much non-stop, but they do seem to have improved.
Most of them were such banal lies though. They weren't designed to make him seem cooler; it was like he just wanted something to say. Like, he'd make up some piece of trivia about a film or song that could easily be proven untrue.
I think he may also have claimed to be meeting people but then just wander around town on his own.

Once, at the age of about fifteen, he claimed to know the entire Irish football squad through a contact, and engage in various social activities with them.
He'd often claim to have interesting encounters with celebrities, all unverifiable.

There were countless stories of success with women, though no-one who knew him had ever seen even kiss a girl. At one point, he'd tell lies about going out with girls in areas of his life you weren't involved in (eg telling his college friends he was going out with a girl from work and vice versa). But then friends from different parts of his life got to know each other and it was discovered that all of these girls were made up.

He also told me he'd met his ex (I'd never heard of) out and found out she was getting married. Then a few years later told a friend the exact same story.

Among the best: Telling a friend of a friend that he'd met the lead singer of a famous band. Once he'd finished his detailed story, the friend of a friend calmly told him he'd just had his own anecdote recounted back to him, that he'd told to my friend about a year previously!

Another time he claimed to have asked a good-looking popular girl to the Debs, and she'd said yes. Shortly after, he was in a café with a mutual friend, when she walked in. Our mutual friend called her over, said hi, then said to the spoofer "Sorry, what's your name again?" I think the other friend didn't ask about the Debs so as not to cause any further embarrassment.

The sad thing was, he's a nice guy and didn't need to lie, but he doesn't seem to do it anymore.

marty1985

I remember a thread here a couple of years back, when someone regaled us all with a story of how he and the girlfriend met Bono in a restaurant, and asked the random guy next to Bono to take a picture of them with Bono, and afterwards their bill was paid by Bono's anonymous friend, a Mr. Springsteen. Having heard this story endless times before this encounter was even supposed to have happened most posters were a little sceptical, but the poster stuck to his guns.

cloptrop

I went to a 21 st or 30th cant remember but there was a fella just back from travelling south america telling us he got a taxi and the taxi man was near pouring coke down his nostrils the whole journey , the police came and he hid the coke somehow <cant remember kinda stopped listening> the taxi man was so grateful he gave him a bag of coke the size of a bag of sugar.
If anyone ever had any dealings with a kilo of cocaine they would realise that if the taxi man had a kilo of cocaine to give away he wouldnt have to work as a taxi man .
Then we heard all these stories about sleeping with gangs of local women that were mad for him because of his Irish accent .
Why is it always the people who never get their hole in Ireland that do so well in other countries . Its like Irish girls look for completely different things in a man than any other nationality .

JohnMearsheimer

A guy I was in school with always came out with the most ridiculous stories. He told us when we were in 6th year he got arrested on a night out and shagged a bean Garda in a cell.