How to buy and import a domesticated elephant?

JackCharlton

Does anyone know how you would go about acquiring and importing some domesticated elephants from I would guess India, Sri Lanka or Thailand ? I have googled the subject and I guess its a bit esoteric even for Google to find. I am not even sure whether you would transport them by ship or plane?
these people sell them.
http://exoticpetco.com/mammals-lg.html
Although they don't mention Postage & Packing costs.
And only seem to have the Indian variety.

The King of Moo

I don't know, I won mine in a radio competition.

stupidusername

yeah cause the postage and packing costs are the reason you shouldn't consider this

TheZohanS

You'd have to put 'em under pressure...

token101

JackCharlton wrote: »

Does anyone know how you would go about acquiring and importing some domesticated elephants from I would guess India, Sri Lanka or Thailand ? I have googled the subject and I guess its a bit esoteric even for Google to find. I am not even sure whether you would transport them by ship or plane?
these people sell them.
http://exoticpetco.com/mammals-lg.html
Although they don't mention Postage & Packing costs.
And only seem to have the Indian variety.

No need to be resorting to the mail order brides yet.

Princess Consuela Bananahammock

What's wrong with the ones out in Finglas?

Where To

Can you not just buy a cow and stick a length of drainpipe on it?

Junior Jacon Jeese Jurger

I'm sure you'd pick one up in Supermacs on a Saturday night

Jane Eyre

I'm going to treat the question seriously.

Why don't you ask the zoo?

I always preferred giraffes myself.

LLU

Keep an eye on the special buys in Aldi and Lidl.

PCPhoto

just have a chat with a circus when they are in town next and see if they are willing to sell you one.

Immaculate Pasta

Are they cheaper to run than cars?

Thinking of getting one myself when I go into town for a few errands and things :cool:

Duggy747

Old 1970's British Humour answer:

If you're looking for an elephant, you can have my wife :pac:

*Ba-Dum-Bum.......Peesh!!*

kfallon

OP you'll regret this when your garden is four foot deep in elephant shite !!

But do you know what the biggest drawback will be......the elephant's foreskin :pac:

RichieC

With enough money you could get anything! even a panda! they are only about 800 thousand a year to rent off the Chinese and about 5 times that to house feed and care for.

BopNiblets

Immaculate Pasta wrote: »

Are they cheaper to run than cars?

Thinking of getting one myself when I go into town for a few errands and things :cool:

Nah, the insurance goes crazy when you need "stampede" cover

Fluorescence

JackCharlton wrote: »

Does anyone know how you would go about acquiring and importing some domesticated elephants from I would guess India, Sri Lanka or Thailand ? I have googled the subject and I guess its a bit esoteric even for Google to find. I am not even sure whether you would transport them by ship or plane?
these people sell them.
http://exoticpetco.com/mammals-lg.html
Although they don't mention Postage & Packing costs.
And only seem to have the Indian variety.

It's quite straightforward really. The elephant drains the ocean, walks to Ireland and then replaces all the water. Like Moses parting the Red Sea except 20 bajillion times cooler.

Elephants can be quite unpleasant pets though. They hold grudges :mad:

scholar007

JackCharlton wrote: »

Does anyone know how you would go about acquiring and importing some domesticated elephants from I would guess India, Sri Lanka or Thailand ? I have googled the subject and I guess its a bit esoteric even for Google to find. I am not even sure whether you would transport them by ship or plane?
these people sell them.
http://exoticpetco.com/mammals-lg.html
Although they don't mention Postage & Packing costs.
And only seem to have the Indian variety.

Some people "acquire" and "import" a Thai Ladyboy but you want an elephant???????? :eek::eek::eek::eek::eek::eek::eek::eek::eek:

Archeron

http://www.elephantsrus.com/

I'm so disappointed with the content on that site :mad: there is no information on shipping charges anywhere

Nothingbetter2d

JackCharlton wrote: »

Does anyone know how you would go about acquiring and importing some domesticated elephants from I would guess India, Sri Lanka or Thailand ? I have googled the subject and I guess its a bit esoteric even for Google to find. I am not even sure whether you would transport them by ship or plane?
these people sell them.
http://exoticpetco.com/mammals-lg.html
Although they don't mention Postage & Packing costs.
And only seem to have the Indian variety.

diesel prices gone up that much? buy an elephant and tow the damn bus to work.

AgileMyth

The Asian elephants are found throughout India. Their natural habitat is in dense tropical forests and grassy plains up to 10,000 feet.

Thats very long grass. :cool:

Nothingbetter2d

AgileMyth wrote: »

Thats very long grass. :cool:

miracle grow and nuclear waste ftw

Stiffler2

You should be able to pick one up in Coppers, not literally though !

foxyboxer

How do you get an elephant into a mini in 3 steps?








1. Open the door.
2. Put the elephant in the mini.
3. Close the door.


:P

AgileMyth

scholar007 wrote: »

Some people "acquire" and "import" a Thai Ladyboy but you want an elephant???????? :eek::eek::eek::eek::eek::eek::eek::eek::eek:

And how exactly does one go about that? Just for, eehhh, research purposes..

kincsem

There's a guy from China who registers a new account every night at about 4 a.m. and sells stuff like that.
Stick around tonight and you might get lucky. Perhaps send him a PM.
The mods take a dim view of his efforts to bring us the treasures of the Orient.

foxyboxer

Let's hope the local peanut factory have been staying late practicing their emergency drill

I've used these guys in the past. They're excellent and really speedy.

man.about.town

kincsem wrote: »

There's a guy from China who registers a new account every night at about 4 a.m. and sells stuff like that.
Stick around tonight and you might get lucky. Perhaps send him a PM.
The mods take a dim view of his efforts to bring us the treasures of the Orient.

intriguing, tell me more

foxyboxer

foxyboxer wrote: »

How do you get an elephant into a mini in 3 steps?

You'd need a fairly big trunk.

Ellis Dee

Go down to Lidl and get a few bottles of cheap vodka. Then start drinking and soon you'll see an elephant right in front of you. Or maybe several of them. Just because they're pink doesn't mean you're gay.:):):)

Raditub

Where To wrote: »

Can you not just buy a cow and stick a length of drainpipe on it?

Lol!!! Haha clearly the best way to go about it

kfallon

kincsem wrote: »

There's a guy from China who registers a new account every night at about 4 a.m. and sells stuff like that.
Stick around tonight and you might get lucky. Perhaps send him a PM.
The mods take a dim view of his efforts to bring us the treasures of the Orient.

:mad: If you see him round tell him he need to PM me ASAP. Treasures of the orient me hole, that bride I bought off him had a 'hidden treasure', big schlong on her and a pair of hairy balls! Still she'd come all that way, I'd paid a few quid so we both just decided to grin and bear it.....prob means I'll only get a 50% refund now tho.....and she burst two of me 'Adrian Chiles'

:pac:

NicsM

I love how no-one has asked the OP what he needs the elephant for....

I'm sure you could adopt one OP?

castletownman

RichieC wrote: »

With enough money you could get anything! even a panda! they are only about 800 thousand a year to rent off the Chinese and about 5 times that to house feed and care for.

I know one thing he can't buy. A dinosaur.

token101

RichieC wrote: »

With enough money you could get anything! even a panda! they are only about 800 thousand a year to rent off the Chinese and about 5 times that to house feed and care for.

Or you could buy a bear, drip feed him vodka and paint him white.

RichieC

token101 wrote: »

Or you could buy a bear, drip feed him vodka and paint him white.

You're hired!

Jen Pigs Fly

Ha above the elephant in that listing are Clydesdale horses, bet ya they'd charge you a pretty penny for one of those, I can get you one for €300 if you're good.
(horse not the elephant)

Asian Elephants are great swimming though, might be food for thought :rolleyes:

Jammy Donut

Maybe ask the guy who originally posted that question on Pistonheads ages ago?

44leto

And how would you know he was in your fridge

There would be elephant footprints on the butter.

The old jokes are definitely the best.