Catholic Church bans First Communion Vajazzles

JP Liz V1

http://www.oxygen.ie/catholic_church_bans_first_communion_vajazzles.PAGE4866.html

Following the rise of such cringe worthy shows as ‘The Only Way is Essex’ and ‘Tallafornia’, the Vajazzle is the new must have trend for women everywhere.
However, experts are concerned about the possible harmful side effects of ‘Vajazzling the Bejaysus outta yer Bajingo’.
Some experts believe that a Vajazzle can have a detrimental effect of the sex life of the ultra-vain skanks who believe that they need a loyalty card to H.Samuals to make their genitalia look attractive.
“Sure even if you do bag a fella at Coppers, he’s never gonna be able to go south on ya without tearing the face off himself like Freddie Kruger” said Anita Cox, spokesperson for ‘Grownups Against Sex Hurting’ (G.A.S.H).
Mrs Cox went on to say that Irish Morality is the real victim here and that ever since we started worshipping “Social rejects with **** all talent and dodgy spray tans” the country was set for this kind of doom.
Perhaps more worryingly is the suggestion that girls as young as 8 will be demanding Vajazzles for their Communion Day. Supporters of G.A.S.H claim that this is almost a dead cert considering the recent trends of young girls getting full bikini waxes and spray tans before their Communion Day.
The Catholic Church has come out against the Vajazzle, stating that it is clearly an act of the devil to try to improve upon what God gave you. To ensure that no girl gets a Vajazzle before their First Holy Communion, the Church has stated that all girls will have to submit to an inspection the day before the ceremony by their local Parish Priest. G.A.S.H has welcomed the move, while the rest of society has declared in unison ‘Fat Chance ****ers!!!’

:eek:

phasers

That's not real.

ronaneire

Oh bejazzle whats it all coming to

Standard Toaster

WTF is a Vajazzle?

Seachmall

Standard Toaster wrote: »

WTF is a Vajazzle?

Glitter for the gash.

is shíte like this why that newspaper guy warned about the dangers of new media and people believing everything they read?

Napper Hawkins

Wut?

cgordonfreeman

Absolute bollocks. Not funny either.

Standard Toaster

JP Liz V1 wrote: »

Following the rise of such cringe worthy shows as ‘The Only Way is Essex’ and ‘Tallafornia’, the Vajazzle.........

Ah, I stopped reading around this point.


/unsubs

zef

ah, it was pretty funny.
The local beauty salon near me does vagazzles for a tenner, big advert in their window. Only in Dublin 15...

AngryBollix

Seachmall wrote: »

Glitter for the gash.

Growler glitter

paddyandy

New lows ...pushing boundaries for those who spend a lot of thought below the waste .

Elbow

considering the recent trends of young girls getting full bikini waxes and spray tans before their Communion Day

Ammmmmm call me old fashioned and naive but is there an awful amount of things wrong with this statement??????

danniemcq

Blinge

smash

First communion Vajazzles? WTF?

phasers

Elbow wrote: »

Ammmmmm call me old fashioned and naive but is there an awful amount of things wrong with this statement??????

It's not real. Why would an 8 year old need a bikini wax?

They do get spray tans though, and they get their teeth whitened and hair extensions.

danniemcq

Elbow wrote: »

Ammmmmm call me old fashioned and naive but is there an awful amount of things wrong with this statement??????

seeing rest of article was ****e and trying to be funny wouldn't be surprised if they are again trying to be funny and OTT

o1s1n

What were you Googling when you found that OP?

conorhal

zef wrote: »

ah, it was pretty funny.
The local beauty salon near me does vagazzles for a tenner, big advert in their window. Only in Dublin 15...

Is there an equivalent for blokes? A wangdazzle perhaps?

I smell a business opportunity ….come on down to my new male grooming salon Glitterballs!

Logical Fallacy

bluewolf wrote: »

is shíte like this why that newspaper guy warned about the dangers of new media and people believing everything they read?

Nope, but it's Labour's next big issue...."new idiocy".

biko

Humor? No.