Petty people

sunflower27

username123 wrote: »

Begod youd need a laugh living with a petty feicer like that!!

Or you could set out EVERYTHING on the drying rack, and leave it all there and see what he puts away when he hasnt used anything, but there is nothing put away for him to use!! I wouldnt be able to resist messing with a fool like this.

I know, it was a shock this morning to see one plate sitting there. It really was. Knowing that I do all the other stuff it just made me think 'ah, now, come the hell on'

AeoNGriM

sunflower27 wrote: »

A really big personal peeve. My flatmate is petty - as in very petty.

Something I noticed not long after he moved in is that while I will wash his cup/plate utensils up when doing mine, he would never wash my cup, say, if it happens to be sitting near the sink. He will wash all his tuff and leave my cup.

It has progressed. Now he only puts the things he has washed up away, so if there is anything else dry that he didn't use, that is left.

So I have become very vigilant now about always washing my stuff and drying it immediately and putting it away. I noticed yesterday there were two plates dried that had not been put away. I know they aren't mine as, as I said, I put mine away immediately.

So this morning I look and guess what - one is put away and the other is sitting on the dryer thing.

How long will it sit there I wonder... days? weeks?

He is a grown man, not a kid and it isn't like he is too busy as he is always here (and in fairness, if you are putting away one plate wouldn't you just do the other?).

I am holding my ground - that plate is not mine and it is staying. I have lived with a few other flatmates in the past few years and this has never been an issue

Poo in his pillowcase. That'll learn him!

blatantrereg

I never wash my flatmates' stuff, the rare occasions it is left out long enough for that to be possible. They never wash my stuff the rare occasions it would be possible for them. It's really not out of pettiness. It's about their stuff being their stuff and my stuff being my stuff.
You're not my flatmate are you?..... Oh phew your location is the SE.

ronjo

Where did the phantom plate come from anyway?

sunflower27

ronjo wrote: »

Where did the phantom plate come from anyway?

Ah, he used it and obviously has forgot he did so is just leaving it out. All on its lonesome.

I don't do all his dishes, I wouldn't. I am talking about when I am doing my stuff if he has left a coffee cup or something, I'd just do it with mine, no harm done kinda thing. I'd just do it all and put it all away so it's all tidy.

johnr1

Explode an egg in the microwave, take out the shells and leave the rest for a week or two. See how he likes cooking his food in filth then.

Alternatively use every pot and pan, leave them all in the sink and he'l have to wash some in order to cook something.

Dare him to say something.

Teagwee

Take ALL the other plates away and hide them - or just dirty them and leave them there at the sink. He has the choice then of using/cleaning/putting away the ONLY remaining clean one.

Loads of amusing variations on a theme here.

How about sticking a message on the plate - WARNING - DO NOT PUT AWAY THIS PLATE! That should get the communication going :pac:

Liam Byrne

sunflower27 wrote: »

Mr.Crinklewood wrote: »

Is he called Tom?

No . Looking forward to seeing how this pans out (pun intended!)

I suspect it'll go like this : "I won't back down"

Kolido

There is only one thing you can OP,

Sleep with him!

--LOS--

sunflower27 you have described the exact thing I come across time and time again with housemates, it's completely pathetic on their part, the way I see it, it's actually more effort for them not to wash up your stuff along with theirs and to pick out their stuff only from the drying rack to put away. I would have always just washed up whatever stuff was there if I'm washing up, especially if it's just the odd few bits, no big deal, but no one has ever done that for me. I'm also hardly ever at home and I am a nice tidy person to live with, my housemates are far far worse with tidying up and yet they're the ones who want to get involved in rotas etc. So now I've just taken to following suit and just looking after my own stuff, moving out in a couple of weeks I think people like that are just completely selfish, they like to nag nag nag and boss everyone else around, yet they cant take it when someone says something to them, they'll never change.

sunflower27

--LOS-- wrote: »

sunflower27 you have described the exact thing I come across time and time again with housemates, it's completely pathetic on their part, the way I see it, it's actually more effort for them not to wash up your stuff along with theirs and to pick out their stuff only from the drying rack to put away. I would have always just washed up whatever stuff was there if I'm washing up, especially if it's just the odd few bits, no big deal, but no one has ever done that for me. I'm also hardly ever at home and I am a nice tidy person to live with, my housemates are far far worse with tidying up and yet they're the ones who want to get involved in rotas etc. So now I've just taken to following suit and just looking after my own stuff, moving out in a couple of weeks I think people like that are just completely selfish, they like to nag nag nag and boss everyone else around, yet they cant take it when someone says something to them, they'll never change.

I 100% agree, it really does take more effort to think 'hang on, which cutlery did I use so I should put in the drawer.'

It is utterly ridiculous and at his age, I doubt he will ever change.

If it was a case of him doing all the other cleaning and being annoyed at me so he only put his stuff away, then fair enough, but it is the fact he does none of the other stuff. I have made it very easy for him to live there and he still is as petty as f*ck.

Unfortunately he is always there. As I imagine the plate will be for the next few days. I don't care. I am going to the boards meet tomorrow night in Dublin (just decided), so he can sit at home and look at it all weekend.

flanders1979

Rent a house, then you can pick who lives with you.
You can charge housemates extra to subsidise your own rent

kincsem

Use something, don't wash it. Keep doing this until every clean item of crockery or cutlery is dirty.

Eve_Dublin

Can empathise OP. My last housemate who's also my friend (miracle were still on speaking terms after that year together) was the very same only worse by the sounds of it. I did all the cleaning and when I requested she do her share as well (every other week, for example), she told me she always cleaned up after herself. I argued that she hadn't mopped the floor in the kitchen once since I moved in (this is about 8 months later) and she told me she mopped the bits of the floor she stepped on!!! :eek::eek: She bought her own bin and would bring her own rubbish out etc but not the shared bin in the kitchen because it apparently it had my rubbish.

I still continued to clean her plates if they were in the sink. I just couldn't stoop to that level of pettiness.

She was the only housemate in my 10 years sharing that I fought. I moved out and am now living alone as a result. She turned me off sharing for life. Beyond unreasonable.

sunflower27

Eve_Dublin wrote: »

I argued that she hadn't mopped the floor in the kitchen once since I moved in (this is about 8 months later) and she told me she mopped the bits of the floor she stepped on!!! :eek::eek:

That is classic. I can just hear my flatmate saying that

Or 'You put more rubbish in the bin, so I only need to take it out one time to your three'. He's done it three times in four months so no comback there.

Ooooooh, there is gonna be a showdown

Neyite

I would say that passive-agressive Post-its is the way to go...on everything.

Then sweep up the mud and put it back in his boots with a Post-it saying "you dropped this in the kitchen"

Bin bags on his pillow with a Post-it saying "your turn"

and so on...

inagoodway

Any update on The Plate?

stupidusername

sunflower27 wrote: »

That is classic. I can just hear my flatmate saying that

Or 'You put more rubbish in the bin, so I only need to take it out one time to your three'. He's done it three times in four months so no comback there.

Ooooooh, there is gonna be a showdown

ugh I think this is what my housemate thinks too, even though he rarely takes out the bin. he just leaves it there, cause apparently every time is my turn.

well the glasses that he keeps leaving are ones he's only used for a drink of water, so i flipped last nights one upside down and put it on the draining board with the rest of his dishes he can use it if he wants. it's just so frickin bizarre. I wonder when I head home next for a few days will he realise that they have to be his, cause i'm not there to have left it!?

sunflower27

inagoodway wrote: »

Any update on The Plate?

Not yet, but will be home soon and let you know He was off today so either put it away when he made breakfast and lunch, or it is still there. I'm guessing still there.

William_Hicley

Any chance you can post a pic of the plate? Just so we know what we're dealing with here.

readyletsgo

This kinda sh!te wrecks my head too!
You use a plate knife fork spoon, pot etc. When you are finished eating, you wash up, takes a whole of 2 mins! DONE!

I lived with a french girl for six months just gone and MY GOD she was the lazyest person to wash up it was so frustration! She lived there with her boyfriend, he was not too bad.

They would make a messy dinner around 6 or whatever time, leave all the pots, pans, plates etc in the sink untill the NEXT evening, forgetting that I live there too and I might want to use some of these nice things to make my dinner. So I would end up having to wash their sh!te up to use, so in turn, they never washed up! :mad:

The boyfriend would wash up after himself but do it really badly, he loved scrambled eggs in the morning so in they go in a small dish in the microwave, after use he would leave the dish in the sink till evening where the egg has dried in and takes a lot of elbow grease to wash out so there would be all 6 bowls in the press with dried egg on them so if I wanted to use one (god forbid) I would have to wash it with boiling hot water, just annoying!

She was the worst for mopping too, she would never give the place a sweep or hoover first(wooden floors in kitchen and sitting room) so was just moving wet dust around the apt each time, and then left the dirty mop in the dirty water for hours, days even, the state of the mop bucket, ick!! :eek:

So they are gone now, two new house mates in this week, they understand wash after eating, no smelly pots and plates etc for me!


Some people are just mank bags and really dont see it!

Phew! Feel better now

sunflower27

Update: he cracked. The plate has been put away.

The rubbish is the same as last week. It's been emptied into a black refuse sack and left sitting in the kitchen. Off all day and didn't take it out.

It can stay there as I am away tomorrow and I am not doing it again this week.

username123

sunflower27 wrote: »

Update: he cracked. The plate has been put away.

The rubbish is the same as last week. It's been emptied into a black refuse sack and left sitting in the kitchen. Off all day and didn't take it out.

It can stay there as I am away tomorrow and I am not doing it again this week.

lol - delighted he cracked on the plate!

On the rubbish, Id have to mess with his head on that. If he took it out of the bin into a black refuse sack onto the floor Id very slyly make a small hole in the refuse sack and pour something hard to clean up like olive oil on the floor around the hole and then either let him find it or point it out to him with a massive "eeeewwwwwww - why on earth didnt you take it out, youve left it on the floor to leak gucky stuff!!!".

Actually scratch that, Id just say to him in a nice firm tone - "can you not leave bins on the kitchen floor please, its disgusting, if you are putting rubbish into a refuse sack can you take it outside as well, its not that difficult".

previous user

eh, I'd say he doesn'e even notice I leave plates out to dry themselves and I use them the next day sometimes, most times I put the cutlery away.

username123

username123 wrote: »

Begod youd need a laugh living with a petty feicer like that!!

Or you could set out EVERYTHING on the drying rack, and leave it all there and see what he puts away when he hasnt used anything, but there is nothing put away for him to use!! I wouldnt be able to resist messing with a fool like this.

That's really pathetic.

I don't see the big deal about the washing/drying/putting away plates. A lot of people who have shared a lot of flats are conditioned to just clean up after themselves and not worry about other people's mess. I always wash my stuff and TBH, it doesn't occur to me to wash other people's stuff at the same time. I'm often in a hurry and so yes, I will do the bare minimum. I don't expect anyone else to wash my stuff and I don't really want them to. I've had flatmates confront me saying 'I wash your stuff sometimes, why don't you wash mine?' and it really annoyed me. I told them to just leave my stuff in future (my own cup etc, not communal plates left sitting dirty) and that I prefer everyone to just wash their own things. I don't want to be doing twice as much washing up when I'm running out of the door in the morning. It has nothing to do with being selfish or trying to get other people to clean up after you.

As for the bins etc, why don't you just say it to him? Different people have different standards of cleanliness. I'm not bothered by a few crumbs on the floor when I'm busy and I'm happy to let it go. If I realised it bothered my flatmate, I'd make the effort to clean more often.

Honestly, YOU sound like an incredibly petty, passive-aggressive person. I'd hate to live with you and your childish mind games. If you're not happy with the amount of cleaning he's doing, SAY IT TO HIM. Tell him you're sick of taking out the bin. He probably has no idea you're this annoyed about it. If you tell him directly that you'd like him to clean more and he ignores you, fine, complain. Right now, you're being really unfair and if this escalates into a major feud, it's your own fault, IMO. Why are so many people so afraid of talking?

booboo88

sunflower27 wrote: »

Oh gawd, newspaper. They'd have been walking around with newsprint on their @rses.

I know I am not a petty person. All the cleaning products in the house I buy. I will just throw the washing up liquid/bleach etc in with my stuff when doing a shop and not think about it, but really, something like this has made me think enough is enough.

I also take out the rubbish almost all the time as well. It takes a few minutes so I don't mind, but this has really made me open my eyes.

Being petty takes thought!!

newsprint on their bum would the least of their worries, newspaper aint no andrex

sunflower27

Fernando Salty Granule wrote: »

That's really pathetic.

I don't see the big deal about the washing/drying/putting away plates. A lot of people who have shared a lot of flats are conditioned to just clean up after themselves and not worry about other people's mess. I always wash my stuff and TBH, it doesn't occur to me to wash other people's stuff at the same time. I'm often in a hurry and so yes, I will do the bare minimum. I don't expect anyone else to wash my stuff and I don't really want them to. I've had flatmates confront me saying 'I wash your stuff sometimes, why don't you wash mine?' and it really annoyed me. I told them to just leave my stuff in future (my own cup etc, not communal plates left sitting dirty) and that I prefer everyone to just wash their own things. I don't want to be doing twice as much washing up when I'm running out of the door in the morning. It has nothing to do with being selfish or trying to get other people to clean up after you.

As for the bins etc, why don't you just say it to him? Different people have different standards of cleanliness. I'm not bothered by a few crumbs on the floor when I'm busy and I'm happy to let it go. If I realised it bothered my flatmate, I'd make the effort to clean more often.

Honestly, YOU sound like an incredibly petty, passive-aggressive person. I'd hate to live with you and your childish mind games. If you're not happy with the amount of cleaning he's doing, SAY IT TO HIM. Tell him you're sick of taking out the bin. He probably has no idea you're this annoyed about it. If you tell him directly that you'd like him to clean more and he ignores you, fine, complain. Right now, you're being really unfair and if this escalates into a major feud, it's your own fault, IMO. Why are so many people so afraid of talking?

Oh whatever... you haven't lived with guy or the multitude of other petty things he has done. If it was just the plate then of course I wouldn't be annoyed.

I am not passive-aggressive, far from it, but as you don't know me at all, it's Ok, I haven't taken it personally.

Living in a flatshare can be tough, but at 40 years of age he knows how these things work - or should. If he does nothing else, the least he could do is take out the rubbish. As said by others, if you are going to bag it, the job is half done.

I'm heading off soon and it can stay where it is. Haven't seen him to mention it.

Barna77

I read "pretty".... here I was thinking what has prettiness to do with washing up ....

Need some sleep...

username123

Fernando Salty Granule wrote: »

I always wash my stuff and TBH, it doesn't occur to me to wash other people's stuff at the same time.

Fernando Salty Granule wrote: »

It has nothing to do with being selfish or trying to get other people to clean up after you.

It has everything to do with being selfish and its rather socially autistic to wash a pile of your own stuff and just not bother washing one other mug that happens to be sitting there as well. Or not putting it away because you didnt use it. You cant clean a kitchen after yourself if you are picking and choosing things to leave out dirty and its very childish to behave that way.

If its people have confronted you with it then clearly your behaviour causes people issues. If you cant see why this would be so and it actually annoys you for someone to say it to you, then I dont know what to say. To me its obvious why the OPs housemates behaviour is an issue.

Id hate to live with someone like the OPs housemate, youre either sharing a home or youre not and if you are you pull your weight and at 40 odd years of age the OP shouldnt have to act like his mammy telling him to take out bins or wash up properly - seriously - is this not obvious?

blatantrereg

I'd be irritated by someone cleaning up after me. I dont leave anything to clean up in communcal space in any case.

Some people clear up each other's stuff. Some people only clean up their own stuff. Either works.

You can't say to someone "Clean up my stuff", whether or not you've been clearing up their stuff the whole time. You can say to them "Clean up your stuff" though.

It's not "autistic" to not clean other people's stuff. It's not pathetic to be annoyed by other people's mess.

stupidusername

Have people gotten to the point of using the word autistic as an adjective like ocd is being used so often and wrongly.
Face and palm

blatantrereg

username123 wrote: »

It has everything to do with being selfish and its rather socially autistic to...

stupidusername wrote: »

Have people gotten to the point of using the word autistic as an adjective like ocd is being used so often and wrongly.
Face and palm

the usernames made me lol

username123

blatantrereg wrote: »

the usernames made me lol

Must say, yours made me lol too.

Temptamperu

I know this one guy who didnt do any dishes ever. So I slept with his sister.

Giselle

Fernando Salty Granule wrote: »

Honestly, YOU sound like an incredibly petty, passive-aggressive person. I'd hate to live with you and your childish mind games. If you're not happy with the amount of cleaning he's doing, SAY IT TO HIM. Tell him you're sick of taking out the bin. He probably has no idea you're this annoyed about it. If you tell him directly that you'd like him to clean more and he ignores you, fine, complain. Right now, you're being really unfair and if this escalates into a major feud, it's your own fault, IMO. Why are so many people so afraid of talking?

More than a bit harsh. Just because it wouldnt' annoy you doesn't mean it wouldn't annoy most people. It would drive me insane to live with someone that petty. I'm sure your single mindedness has irked some of the people you've lived with.

There's nothing unfair about expecting someone to share the load, especially if you're considerate towards them. Not petty at all tbh.

CarrickMcJoe

sunflower27 wrote: »

A really big personal peeve. My flatmate is petty - as in very petty.

Something I noticed not long after he moved in is that while I will wash his cup/plate utensils up when doing mine, he would never wash my cup, say, if it happens to be sitting near the sink. He will wash all his tuff and leave my cup.

No way would I let him wash my cup in the same water he he did that!:eek:

later12

You'll need Churchillian levels of mettle and resolve to stand your ground on this, your very own Normandy, OP. But good luck with it, brave soldier.

A fight against the petty and the passive aggressive (as I sense this individual must be) is not easily won. They are waspish in their infiltration of your territory, disorientating you with superficial charm, but capable of stinging at the earliest defiance to their ego or repute, then buzzing off to flee your retaliation. Very dishonourable sort of creatures altogether.

Stand strong, and swot him out, I say OP.

saa

OP is being pretty petty but houseshares make you so petty.

I remember in my previous house share everyone did their own dishes, you could leave them there (even though I hated anyone leave pots/plates with bits off food on them then dirtying the sponges) but there was one person who used to clean my plates and I hated it, I'd say oh you didn't have to and they say its fine.. it's so not fine.

Another house share before that the girl used to re organised my food in the fridge to tidy it and then get pissy about me not cleaning when there was no rota and I'd never get the chance to as she would always have done it first.

Then there was another house share with a lunatic of a landlord who had all these obsessive rules but didn't keep the place clean himself, was always asking where i was going and coming down the kitchen just because someone else was in it, always commenting on what you were doing "So you're making toast there, I see you like toast, you know it took me an hour to pick out that toaster, it was a good one"

house shares, I don't fupping miss one of them.