Handing up.....

Freddie59

At home. Discussion on a radio chat show recently highlighted the case of a young man who recently lost his job. Obviously under 23, as he's only entitled to €80 a week as both parents work.

Parents asked him to hand up €40 for his keep (not unreasonable IMHO). He refused on the basis that they were the cause of his low payment - and look how much he would get if he moved out.

There's an obvious solution here........:rolleyes:

MagicMarker

Freddie59 wrote: »

There's an obvious solution here........:rolleyes:

Start a thread about it?

davet82

Freddie59 wrote: »

There's an obvious solution here........:rolleyes:

yes there is, great minds think alike dude, he should sell his azz down the fury glen in the phoenix park for a few extra shillings :cool:

jester77

The lad doesn't sound too bright, does he now know that he would have to pay rent, bills & food out of the extra he gets!

Freddie59

jester77 wrote: »

The lad doesn't sound too bright, does he now know that he would have to pay rent, bills & food out of the extra he gets!

Yep. Show him the door and let him have a taste of it. The real world.

tigger123

Surely it all depends on what the entire household income is.

If the parents can afford it why not leave him with the extravagant sum of €80 per week? If they can’t, he should be handing a percentage of it up.

Freddie59

tigger123 wrote: »

Surely it all depends on what the entire household income is.

If the parents can afford it why not leave him with the extravagant sum of €80 per week? If they can’t, he should be handing a percentage of it up.

Wouldn't agree. He needs to see that there is a value of what he consumes/enjoys. It would be better if he had offered it. Feck's sake, the parents may even have refused it!

SEPT 23 1989

Miserable b@stards

Nodin

davet82 wrote: »

yes there is, great minds think alike dude, he should sell his azz down the fury glen in the phoenix park for a few extra shillings :cool:

Up the bum, no harm done, as they say.

He can keep some toilet paper in the fridge for them frictitious nights.

tigger123

Freddie59 wrote: »

Wouldn't agree. He needs to see that there is a value of what he consumes/enjoys. It would be better if he had offered it. Feck's sake, the parents may even have refused it!

He's also 18 years of age, he's gonna be working for the rest of his life (if he's lucky enough to get a job). Let him enjoy a freebie for a couple of months.

Doc Ruby

Freddie59 wrote: »

Yep. Show him the door and let him have a taste of it. The real world.

Sort of agree here, its not so much about balancing the books as it is a life lesson that you have to contribute something back. Again though a lot would depend. If hes sitting around watching telly all day then yes, but if he's helping around the house, picking up shopping and so on, doing a course, I'd let him keep it.

Run_to_da_hills

His parents shouldn't be too hard on him as in time to come they may need him about in the case of many families whoes parents need caring when they get older.

Seachmall

Your poll options are too simplified.

I'd give 100% of my income if it was necessary for the upkeep of the house.

25% if it's not.

But of course that all depends on what my income is and what's necessary to maintain the house, if either change then those percentages change.

44leto

I didn't think people handed up anymore, I use to be met by the tax women (me MAA) the minute I got home on payday.

I never begrudged paying I was defo getting my monies worth.

charlietheminxx

I live at home and I'm working.

I hand up just over a quarter of my wages at home, but it leaves me with enough to survive on.

This is a tricky one.... I mean €80 a week wouldn't get you far. If he was left with €40, and wanted to go jobhunting, he'd need a bus ticket or the like (I dunno about everywhere, but a 5 day bus ticket in Dublin is €22). However, I don't agree with sponging off your parents either.

I think a lot would come down to the guy in question, if he is looking for work, if he contributes to the home in other ways etc.....

davet82

44leto wrote: »

I use to be met by the tax women (me MAA)

pffft... thats the lower rate of tax, try the higher rate, the wife tax, its at about 75%

mikemac1

I just can't get used to handing over cash. Something seems a bit strange about it though I'm not sure how to describe it

When I worked and lived at home what I did was take care of the family car. It always had a full tank of fuel, regularly washed and I bought new tyres for it too. And paid for the services

Probably worked out the same as handing up money, I was happier with this arrangement

Freddie59

Doc Ruby wrote: »

Sort of agree here, its not so much about balancing the books as it is a life lesson that you have to contribute something back. Again though a lot would depend. If hes sitting around watching telly all day then yes, but if he's helping around the house, picking up shopping and so on, doing a course, I'd let him keep it.

Apparently it's lounging around, playing the PS etc.

Dudess

Depends on what the bills, mortgage/rent are but a contribution should be made. I don't see anything wrong with people living with their folks but not if they're paying **** all, even if on the dole.

naoise80

I handed up 25% for 10 years after I started working, even though they probably didn't need it.

Unbeknownst to me it was put in a savings account and given back as a deposit for a house.

What goes 'round, comes 'round.

Local-womanizer

I pay €60 a week and earn around €100. No qualms about it as if I didnt pay I would be asked to move out or not to use the TV,internet, fridge etc without a contribution.

This lad needs to wise up and grow up. He won't last a day renting on his own by the sound of things! idiot.

Nodin

Run_to_da_hills wrote: »

His parents shouldn't be too hard on him as in time to come they may need him about in the case of many families whoes parents need caring when they get older.

...humiliated him on national radio. I'd say its the dodgy carehome fer them.

gerryo777

I used to earn £24.00 a week working on the family farm.
My Da would hand me the £24 and straight away my ma would demand (with menace) £18 for board & lodgings.
Young people these days, don't know how easy they have it!!








Jesus, I sound like I'm turning into my parents!

meoklmrk91

I live with my man, all household bills are split 50/50. I was living on my own before but moved back to save money for college, my mother couldn't afford living on her own so it made financial sense for both of us really.

jaja321

I dunno, he could contribute in other ways around the house. Cook dinner, clean etc. Doesn’t necessarily have to be a monetary contribution. Depends on the situation of the parents, but presuming they didn’t need the money, then I think let him keep the €80 and maybe he can start saving, and help him get back on his feet? He just lost his job too, I’d cut him some slack.

Zebra3

If he's out trying to get work, his folks should cut him a break.

If he's at home sitting on his swiss all day, they need to "encourage" him.

Rented Mule

I'd be curious to know what he was doing with his €80 per week. If he was actually saving it, I wouldn't mind him keeping it.

If this generation needs to learn anything from the mistakes of the one before it, it's be to learn how to save for a rainy day and not piss it away the minute you get it.

paky

my offer is this...nothing. not even a fee for the gaming licence

St.Spodo

They're leaving their recently-laid-off son with 40 quid a week, that's fúcking miserable.

irelandspurs

Kill them

Freddie59

Local-womanizer wrote: »

I pay €60 a week and earn around €100. No qualms about it as if I didnt pay I would be asked to move out or not to use the TV,internet, fridge etc without a contribution.

This lad needs to wise up and grow up. He won't last a day renting on his own by the sound of things! idiot.

Fair dues. That's huge by today's standards. I'm 52 - was married at 22. I used to hand up 50% of everything (including overtime) as my late mother was very good to me as I grew up. She was worth every penny, God rest her.:)

IM0

work out what you cost them. food, bills = pay that
not a set amount like a % of earnings.

boobar

Freddie59 wrote: »

At home. Discussion on a radio chat show recently highlighted the case of a young man who recently lost his job. Obviously under 23, as he's only entitled to €80 a week as both parents work.

Parents asked him to hand up €40 for his keep (not unreasonable IMHO). He refused on the basis that they were the cause of his low payment - and look how much he would get if he moved out.

There's an obvious solution here........:rolleyes:

20 to 25 would have been fair. And he could do a few jobs, clean the house, service the car, walk the dog, dig the garden, darn those socks, mend the roof.

TheZohanS

The other thread had the twin towers, an aeroplane and a penis.

HazDanz

St.Spodo wrote: »

They're leaving their recently-laid-off son with 40 quid a week, that's fúcking miserable.

It really is. Getting laid-off is tough and losing that element of independence and a sense of control on your circumstance is horrible. The parents taking half his benifits will do no good to the son, he'll only end up feeling more sh*t about his situation and it won't help his confidence in pursuing another job by getting grabbed by the proverbial balls by his parents.

I feel parents should always help out a son or daughter when they are after taking a hit in life, such as losing their job. Makes me proud to have my parents who have always been supportive, especially during the tough times.

Sunnyisland

Around 30 euro imo.

44leto

realies wrote: »

Around 30 euro imo.

30 for board, lodgings and utilities, serious.

I think the guy who has to pay 40 out of his dole of 80 is learning a valuable lesson a in life, living is not free.

dm1388

SEPT 23 1989 wrote: »

Miserable b@stards

I would move home in the morning if I could hand up E40 or E80 for that matter.
I hardly have E80 left after mortgage esb oil internet etc

oppenheimer1

The poll is flawed. If someone is on a good wage, 25% could be a big sum. Many financial advisers say you shouldn't spend more than 25% on rent. I wouldn't live at home and pay the same as I would have to in the real rental market, I'd rather rent and have my own space.

dm1388

Domo230 wrote: »

I just applied to the dole and if my parents asked for any of my money I would refuse. I am saving it for college and even at the current rate (the OP says I will be limited to €80, I did not know this ) it will take me a long time to save the €17,500 minimum needed. I will purchase as much of my own food as I can to bring their costs down but the sooner I get to college and am qualified for a good job that will allow me to live my own life, the better.

Plus the reason I will get less Dole is because they are technically high earners despite the face that they are broke and in massive debt.

so you are an adult who expects to live off their parents for free (you will buy most of your own food, big deal) even though you say they are broke and in massive debt

nicechick!

HazDanz wrote: »

It really is. Getting laid-off is tough and losing that element of independence and a sense of control on your circumstance is horrible. The parents taking half his benifits will do no good to the son, he'll only end up feeling more sh*t about his situation and it won't help his confidence in pursuing another job by getting grabbed by the proverbial balls by his parents.

I feel parents should always help out a son or daughter when they are after taking a hit in life, such as losing their job. Makes me proud to have my parents who have always been supportive, especially during the tough times.

Its fantastic to have supportive parents particularly in tough times but I would be more inclined to view supportive as in emotionally better! Such as instilling a sense of self worth, confidence, belief in one self there child rather then financially. Children will have come at a big cost as parents have supported financially for obvious reasons up to a point! Many parents have helped there children I'm sure financially but it is not always the better solution or what there children need though every circumstance is different as is this case who's to say they don't need this support.

I honestly think €40 is so little to pay towards his upkeep if this met that
all basic living needs were met bed, warmth, food etc of course not to mention for most of us are lucky to have a lot of access to other services which of course comes at a cost such expenses as internet, tv channels! personally I would view his parents as ''supportive'' by teaching there child that nothing comes in life for free though it may be miserable handing it over I'm sure there are much more gain on his part! Based purely on his age its unlikely to have many other expenses and I'm sure for many guys/girls his age they have even less to spend on themselves.

44leto

dm1388 wrote: »

so you are an adult who expects to live off their parents for free (you will buy most of your own food, big deal) even though you say they are broke and in massive debt

I think his situation could be excuse payment, he is saving for college, that expense usually falls to the parents anyway.

But you have a point as well, young people take their homelife for granted and expect things to be put on their plate for free without consideration as to who is paying.

Satts

He sounds ungrateful to me. And stupid for washing his dirty laundry in public.

Local-womanizer

Freddie59 wrote: »

Fair dues.

I just see it as necessary. After all I am contributing to keeping the roof over my head and having a comfortable life with that in I have heat, food and internet!

If my parents had no mortgage and little debt they would not ask anything off me or my brothers. Anyway it prepares ya for living on your own.

Feathers

HazDanz wrote: »

The parents taking half his benifits will do no good to the son, he'll only end up feeling more sh*t about his situation and it won't help his confidence in pursuing another job by getting grabbed by the proverbial balls by his parents.

I feel parents should always help out a son or daughter when they are after taking a hit in life, such as losing their job.

Sometimes helping him out can be giving him a kick up the arse too though. Only going by what's posted here, so might be off, but I can't imagine it's a case of the parents rolling in it, demanding half his money & frivolously spending it while he scrimps away trying to look for jobs.

I'd say most people who would ask for a hand-up from someone on €80 could probably do the extra — providing for a full-grown adult isn't cheap like.

kkdela6

St.Spodo wrote: »

They're leaving their recently-laid-off son with 40 quid a week, that's fúcking miserable.

Miserable aint a strong enough word. 40 quid a week is all well and good if your making a few bob, but the poor kid is only getting 80 quid a week.

Controversial as this may sound, when you decide to have a child part of the terms and conditions are that you support it and nurture it until it becomes the independent adult being that needs be. I'd say fair enough if he was in his mid 20's doing shag all with his life, but this kid was obviously trying his best and wasn't his fault he was let go.
Rather than taking money off him they should be doing their best to support him into securing new employment.

Jesus if that happened my 18 year old son, i wouldnt take any money off him, in fact id probably help finance him to go into training, do a worthwhile course or something.
I'd make him work for his digs alright, household chores, walking dogs, washing cars, doing the groceries, help out with any jobs etc.

The fact that he can only get 80 a week shows the family is by no means broke
In a family you're supposed to help each other out when needs be. I doubt they'll be giving him any money if ever a time comes when they need his care.

It's all about preparing him for 'the real world', but they are going the right wrong way about it

nicechick!

kkdela6 wrote: »

Miserable aint a strong enough word. 40 quid a week is all well and good if your making a few bob, but the poor kid is only getting 80 quid a week.

Controversial as this may sound, when you decide to have a child part of the terms and conditions are that you support it and nurture it until it becomes the independent adult being that needs be. I'd say fair enough if he was in his mid 20's doing shag all with his life, but this kid was obviously trying his best and wasn't his fault he was let go.
Rather than taking money off him they should be doing their best to support him into securing new employment.

Jesus if that happened my 18 year old son, i wouldnt take any money off him, in fact id probably help finance him to go into training, do a worthwhile course or something.
I'd make him work for his digs alright, household chores, walking dogs, washing cars, doing the groceries, help out with any jobs etc.

The fact that he can only get 80 a week shows the family is by no means broke
In a family you're supposed to help each other out when needs be. I doubt they'll be giving him any money if ever a time comes when they need his care.

It's all about preparing him for 'the real world', but they are going the right wrong way about it

How is preparing him for the 'real world' doing right by him if he can be handed €80 weekly but NO direct impact made to his life? I'm only 30 and my first job was a 15 washing dishes in the local hotel! I fcuken hated it! I worked as a waitress thereafter for years every summer, occasional weekends but it gave me a sense of much freedom I could buy stuff that I wanted for myself!! The first summer of working full time paying my parents back for the car insurance and the cost of driving lessons not to mention the bumper that had been replaced at some stage on the car!!

I have always been able to rely on my parents financially or otherwise! but I take great pride in the fact that I could contribute the pittance that I did contribute in later years as every year I'd even managed to pay for college fees, some living/expenses etc.. Funny how indirectly they paid me back every bit and then some... as I would of course at some stage run out of money and not to mention of course every week I could go home and raid the fridge while my mammy fed me up and I would find extra goodies packed into the bag on a Sunday on my return to college... it gave me a drive, passion and enough of a skill set that I took with me the support and the knowledge that I wasn't alone BUT I don't doubt I'm a much better person for it!

I'm not sure I'm making sense! but basically its so important to give your loved ones to be able to take ownership for themselves finical or otherwise I don't handing them everything without effort involved/consequences is good for them personally or there future. Maybe not take that €40 but earn his keep someone

kkdela6

nicechick! wrote: »

I have always been able to rely on my parents financially or otherwise! but I take great pride in the fact that I could contribute the pittance that I did contribute in later years as every year I'd even managed to pay for college fees, some living/expenses etc.. Funny how indirectly they paid me back every bit and then some... as I would of course at some stage run out of money and not to mention of course every week I could go home and raid the fridge while my mammy fed me up and I would find extra goodies packed into the bag on a Sunday on my return to college... it gave me a drive, passion and enough of a skill set that I took with me the support and the knowledge that I wasn't alone BUT I don't doubt I'm a much better person for it!

right so you worked a part time job for the extra bit of pocket money while your parents essentially put you through college... and you paid them back in later years. That is exactly my point. Would you have been able to put yourself through college with 40 euros a week? to pay fees, books, food, travel, etc?

My point is that the parents should be supporting this kid and help put him through college, or some sort of training course and help him obtain new employment. Maybe then, when he's making a bit of money, he can repay them somehow. Jesus christ he's only 18

niallers1

At least 50% of his wage should be handed up if he is being fed as well as housed.

Any less and he's being a sponger.. Man up and pay your way.

ejmaztec

oppenheimer1 wrote: »

The poll is flawed. If someone is on a good wage, 25% could be a big sum. Many financial advisers say you shouldn't spend more than 25% on rent. I wouldn't live at home and pay the same as I would have to in the real rental market, I'd rather rent and have my own space.

Too right it's flawed, 150% is missing from it.

saa

The best thing he could do is to draw up a budget inc. contributions: food and bills (rent isn't fair as his dole has already been reduced to omit what he would be spending on renting a room), what he needs: bus ticket, printing, a few quid to put aside, incidentals

and that's fair enough, if the parents a budget as well it should be clear how much the parents need to pay for what he uses and how much he needs from that money to get by and also I think he should be able to save even a tenner a week as long as the parents are not strapped for cash.