A Couple For Tuesday

MonkieSocks

One evening a family brings their frail, elderly mother to the local nursing home in Dublin

They leaves her as planned, hoping she will be well cared for.

The next morning, the nurses bathe her, feed her a tasty breakfast including All Bran and some toast,

and then set her in a chair at a window overlooking a lovely flower garden.

She seemed ok,

but after a while she slowly starts to lean over sideways in her chair.

Two attentive nurses immediately rush up to catch her and straighten her up.

Again she seems ok, but after a while she starts to tilt to the other side.

The nurses rush back and once more bring her back upright.

This goes on all morning.

Later on the family arrives to see how mom is adjusting to her new home.

"So Ma how is it here? Are they treating you all right?" they ask.

"It's pretty nice," she replies.



"Except them feckers won't let me fart."

_______________________________________________

Two English men are walking along O'Connell Street, when they see a sign in a shop window.

Suits €15.00, shirts €2.00, trousers €2.50.

One said to the other one, "Look at that.

We could buy a lot of that gear and resell it when we get back to England.

We could make a fortune!

When we go into the shop don't say anything, let me do all the talking, because if they hear our accent they might not serve us, so I'll speak in my best Irish accent."

They go in and he orders, 50 suits at €15.00,

100 shirts at €2.00 and 50 trousers at 2.50.

The owner of the shop asks, "You're English aren't you?"

The Englishman replies, "Oh Bugger... Yes, how the hell did you know that?"



The owner says, "This is a dry cleaners..."