Mr/Ms Right or Mr/Ms Right Now?

Gmol

We had a whirlpool romance getting engaged after 1 month, Mrs GMol now has a Whirlpool washing machine

curlzy

I think you can totally know that someone is the person for you in a very short amont of time. But, I also think there are alot of people that get married bacause they're running out of time, as they see it. Hard to tell from outside a relationship what's going on, only the people in it ever really know.

MadYaker

I can never understand this idea that there is ONE person out there who is meant for me and nobody else will do. You hear people saying "he's the one" or "she's the one" but its a load of bollix. If it were true and there was only 1 person out there that each of us could truely love and spend the rest of our lives with then we'd all be screwed and destined to life of loneliness! There are 7 billion people on this planet so the odds of you finding "the one" are extremely small.

ash23

MadYaker wrote: »

I can never understand this idea that there is ONE person out there who is meant for me and nobody else will do. You hear people saying "he's the one" or "she's the one" but its a load of bollix. If it were true and there was only 1 person out there that each of us could truely love and spend the rest of our lives with then we'd all be screwed and destined to life of loneliness! There are 7 billion people on this planet so the odds of you finding "the one" are extremely small.

When people (well meaning) harp on about me knowing when I meet "the one" or that "the one" is out there for me I always say "yes, and what a coincidence when people meet "the one" in the local pub/club. What were the chances that of the billions of people in the world that your "one" happened to be propping up the bar down the road from your house".
:rolleyes:

foxyboxer

There is no such thing as The One.

"I'm 32, you'll do"

Frank Black

MadYaker wrote: »

I can never understand this idea that there is ONE person out there who is meant for me and nobody else will do. You hear people saying "he's the one" or "she's the one" but its a load of bollix. If it were true and there was only 1 person out there that each of us could truely love and spend the rest of our lives with then we'd all be screwed and destined to life of loneliness! There are 7 billion people on this planet so the odds of you finding "the one" are extremely small.

Most people would view it as a turn of phrase than take it in the literally sense.

I can see you aren't one of those people so you can read it as 'one of the ones' instead.

Apologies for any confusion caused.

WindSock

I think as you get older you're happy enough to settle with someone who pisses you off the least instead of looking hopelessly like a goon for the magic and candy flavoured fireworks most perfect person in the world, ever.

Although I have noticed a few people do 'panic buy' when they are in their 30's. They are left with the last can of creamed corn on the shelves instead of waiting for the next shipment of delicious jellied eels.

stupidusername

WindSock wrote: »

I think as you get older you're happy enough to settle with someone who pisses you off the least instead of looking hopelessly like a goon for the magic and candy flavoured fireworks most perfect person in the world, ever.

Although I have noticed a few people do 'panic buy' when they are in their 30's. They are left with the last can of creamed corn on the shelves instead of waiting for the next shipment of delicious jellied eels.

But is that mostly women? I'm relieved that I won't have that panic

Lando Griffin

Whirlwind romances are like A H threads, the longer they go on the less thanks you you probably get.

Lando Griffin

Whirlwind romances are like A H threads, the longer they go on the less thanks you get.

Indubitable

Don't think i will ever get married. I would need a prenuptial agreement first. It is about time they are brought into law. As for "whirlwind romances", go for it if it feels right but have long talk and think about it first.

Born to Die

People bore me quickly, I can not imagine staying with one person for life.
The thought scares me more than dying alone.

amacca

MadYaker wrote: »

I can never understand this idea that there is ONE person out there who is meant for me and nobody else will do. You hear people saying "he's the one" or "she's the one" but its a load of bollix. If it were true and there was only 1 person out there that each of us could truely love and spend the rest of our lives with then we'd all be screwed and destined to life of loneliness! There are 7 billion people on this planet so the odds of you finding "the one" are extremely small.

your logic is impeccable and makes perfect sense of course............and yet the idea of there being the one perfect person you were always destined to be with is just such a seductive/persuasive idea you almost wish it were true/want to believe it (I'm a guy btw despite the inherent mushiness above)

I often thought what if there is an elemet of tailoring/fate to your life that means everyone is in situation group/extended groups where they do get a chance to meet their "one" and its just up to each of them not to fcuk it up? (I've often thought I fcuked it up too tbh)


I know, I know...hopeless romantic, naieve, possibly immature thinking but cant help thinking it sometimes despite lots of proof in my life to the contrary.....eg: thought I met the "one" years ago (cue unrequited love from afar) then met another "one" after that (cue more unrequited love) ....then another "one" (carcrash)


but if I abandon the idea altogether and go to the opposite extreme and accept the other reality then that is highly depressing in one sense for me..............there are many many possible partners you could be with...making one no more special than the rest (in fact taking the perceived specialness and value out of the whole thing beyond sex and fitting into a social/cultural norm)

it just becomes a dull old biological imperative then..............yet another let down in life and with the added kicker that you will probably stop even liking/tolerating them after a couple of years so why even fcukin bother when it will split up and they might wipe you out financially and get custody of kid or vice versa


ps: finding out Santa Claus was a fictional character really got me down for a long long time

there just doesn't seem to be any magic left in life these days

ash23

amacca wrote: »

your logic is impeccable and makes perfect sense of course............and yet the idea of there being the one perfect person you were always destined to be with is just such a seductive/persuasive idea you almost wish it were true/want to believe it (I'm a guy btw despite the inherent mushiness above)

I often thought what if there is an elemet of tailoring/fate to your life that means everyone is in situation group/extended groups where they do get a chance to meet their "one" and its just up to each of them not to fcuk it up? (I've often thought I fcuked it up too tbh)


I know, I know...hopeless romantic, naieve, possibly immature thinking but cant help thinking it sometimes despite lots of proof in my life to the contrary.....eg: thought I met the "one" years ago (cue unrequited love from afar) then met another "one" after that (cue more unrequited love) ....then another "one" (carcrash)


but if I abandon the idea altogether and go to the opposite extreme and accept the other reality then that is highly depressing in one sense for me..............there are many many possible partners you could be with...making one no more special than the rest (in fact taking the perceived specialness and value out of the whole thing beyond sex and fitting into a social/cultural norm)

it just becomes a dull old biological imperative then..............yet another let down in life and with the added kicker that you will probably stop even liking/tolerating them after a couple of years so why even fcukin bother when it will split up and they might wipe you out financially and get custody of kid or vice versa


ps: finding out Santa Claus was a fictional character really got me down for a long long time

there just doesn't seem to be any magic left in life these days

Nothing wrong with a good dose of healthy cynicism in my opinion. But if you're a gushy hopeless romantic, then you need to meet another gushy hopeless romantic. Me, as a cynic, I need to meet another cynic. Because someone like you would think me cold and heartless. And someone like me would think you were bodering on the ridiculous.
It's all about being compatible (says the cynic).

Liam Byrne

curlzy wrote: »

I think you can totally know that someone is the person for you in a very short amont of time. But, I also think there are alot of people that get married bacause they're running out of time, as they see it. Hard to tell from outside a relationship what's going on, only the people in it ever really know.

Sometimes only one of them does!

u_c_thesecond

black francis wrote: »

Do people think that you can be sure about finding 'the one' after this amount of time?
Are these relationships as likely to work out than people who've been together longer before committing?

I'm hoping the answer is 'yes'.

Anyone any experiences of whirlwind romances?

I met my fiance when i was 18 and he was 21 in 2004, we got engaged after 4 months. then moved in together, bought a house in 2009.

We are together 8 years next month and are marrying at the end of the year

so it worked for me anyway

However if we married in the first 2 years i doubt we would be together now so im glad we have waited this long

WindSock

stupidusername wrote: »

But is that mostly women? I'm relieved that I won't have that panic

No i would say both. There is that panic in women for obvious reasons but I notice a lot of guys in their 30's seem to get a bit broody too and fed up with the game / chase etc.

Anyway, whats getting engaged? Will you marry us? Ok.

beckman

theneed2rock wrote: »

Go for it...whats the worse that can happen...

From my limited knowledge, I would say that friends that have known each other long term seems like a better prospect for marriage and parenthood than people who have dating shortterm and( then get married maybe and).... have kids.
They might knw each others foibles better......

anyway what do I know........

lesserspottedchloe

Duiske wrote: »

I met my OH when we were 16/17. Went out for a year then broke up and didn't see each for over twenty years. A friend gave her my number at a wedding 6 years ago. She called the next day, we went out that night and have been together since. Not married yet, but if I don't succumb to the 7 year itch, who knows !!

oh my god thats amazing! c'mon, you know yer getting married right?!

Raditub

I dunno i'm too young to give any final answers..but i'd go with...if you have found somebody who wants to be around you all the time and you enjoy each other, then dont let this person go;)

grindle

amacca wrote: »

1....the idea of there being the one perfect person you were always destined to be with is just such a seductive/persuasive idea you almost wish it were true/want to believe it...

2.I often thought what if there is an element of tailoring/fate to your life.

3....hopeless romantic, naive, possibly immature thinking...

4....making one no more special than the rest (in fact taking the perceived specialness and value out of the whole thing beyond sex and fitting into a social/cultural norm)

it just becomes a dull old biological imperative then...

5.ps: finding out Santa Claus was a fictional character really got me down for a long long time

1. I would've thought predestination takes the seduction and persuasion out of the mix. If fate says they're yours, why chase?

2. Nope.

3. "Possibly" immature thinking?

4. I'd say the opposite - each one is unique, therefore special. I don't believe in "the one", but each girlfriend has been different enough that that's why I was attracted to them - I valued their "perceived specialness" (may use this phrase on my OH).
That "biological imperative" bit underlines faulty logic, as if the rest of the relationship is a side-project tacked onto having a baby, and not the other way around.

5. Me too. Because of that disappointment, I don't want to lie to my own sproglings, whereas you sound like you wish nobody'd ever told you, like a
fantastical lie is more beautiful than truth?

It's a beautiful world out there, with many amazing people... Stop wishing they didn't exist.
Fück "the one". Then the other one, and that other young wan.

Tordelback

grindle wrote: »

5. Me too. Because of that disappointment, I don't want to lie to my own sproglings....

Best of luck with that!

FWIW, I believe 'the one' is a pernicious concept when applied to a person - what it should refer to is the relationship. That allows a lot more scope for working at something, making it better, without falling into the fatal trap of trying to change a person into what you want them to be, or losing sight of yourself. Ultimately it's the relationship, the interaction, you'll be living with as much as the person.