Friday 'Uns

MonkieSocks

A Cow's Tail

A man staggered into a hospital with a concussion, multiple bruises, two black eyes, and a five iron wrapped tightly around his throat.

Naturally, the Doctor asked him, 'What happened to YOU?'

'Well, I was having a quiet round of golf with my wife, when at a difficult hole, we both sliced our golf balls into a field of cattle.

We went to look for them and while I was looking around I noticed one of the cows had something white at its rear end.'

'I walked over, lifted its tail, and sure enough, there was a golf ball with my wife's monogram on it - stuck right in the middle of the cow's fanny.

Still holding the cow's tail up, I yelled to my wife, 'Hey, this looks like yours!''

'I don't remember much after that'

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A doctor in Duluth Minnesota wanted to get off work and go hunting.
he approached his assistant.

'Ole, I am goin' huntin' tomorrow and don't want to close the clinic.

I want you to take care of the clinic and take care of all my patients.'

'Yes, sir!' answers Ole.

The doctor goes hunting and returns the following day and asks: 'So, Ole, how was your day?'

Ole told him that he took care of three patients.

'The first one had a headache so I gave him TYLENOL.'

'Bravo, mate, and the second one?' asks the doctor.

'The second one had stomach burning and I gave him MAALOX, sir,' says Ole.

'Bravo, bravo! You're good at this and what about the third one?' asks the Doctor.

'Sir, I was sitting here, suddenly the door opens and a woman enters.

Like a flame, she undresses herself, taking off everything including her panties and lies down on the table and shouts:

HELP ME - I haven't seen a man in over two years!!'

Lard Yeezus, Ole, what did you do?' asks the doctor.





I put drops in her eyes!!