Bullying at School

JSawtc

Hi,

My child has been acting very ill-mannered lately which isn't strange for a seven year old but I knew it wasn't exactly him.

He has admitted to me yesterday that there are kids at the school who are annoying him. They physically push him when he asks them not to. What I do not know is if these other kids realise the problems they're causing for my son. They may not know it's really getting to him and he does stand up for himself when he has to, but he knows he should never assault a classmate or anyone for that matter. I am sure if it happened outside the school he would retaliate like a little daemon!

He named two of the kids to me.. but I have a feeling it could be more. I will be asking him other things randomly without sticking to the subject because it annoys him and he would not like me to go into the school.

However I will call the school on Monday anonymously and ask what their policy is on keeping kids safe once they have reported a bulling incident. I will not give out any information until I get a satisfactory answer to the question. If they can not give me one, I'll ask when I can call to get an answer.

I will not go charging into the school demanding justice and threaten legal action or publicity. I will not be seeking revenge either.

However, I do want to know what I can do should the school not act positively about this situation.

Am I allowed get the school to call in the parents of the children who are bulling my child and have a chat?

What legal action can I take if they're not helping my son's problems? This is mainly out of interest and I believe they will do all they can as it is a great school.

Thanks for reading,

- JS
[ turns out the child's mother did go into the school and was told by his teacher that there is nothing wrong - is he calling my son a liar? The teacher is aged early 20s .. that should matter but I can't help but judge him on that fact ]

Just want to say I have moved the thread from here after getting some advice from other Boards.ie members.

snuggles09

I had a similiar situation with my daughter 2 years ago (she was 8 at the time). She was so upset over this one girl that she was asking me about moving schools so I knew it was bad

there was the odd physical push followed by exclusion and telling other girls not to play with her etc..in my case though I knew the mother to see her ( I had her number from a kids party ) so I rang her and we met up..I told her what her daughter was doing and the woman was really upset by it herself. she said that at home her daughter wasn't like that at all but she didn't doubt my version of what had happened at all...I was delighted by this as one of my biggest annoyances is people who can't see any wrong in their own children it drives me mental

i went to the school liason officer and asked her to keep an eye on this girl with my own daughter as i didnt want to speak with the teacher in case this other girl saw me and would bully my daughter further for having "told" on her..she said she would keep an eye at playtime, speak with the teacher for me etc

in the meantime, the mother of this girl sat her daughter down and of course she denied it but about 2 weeks later there was an incident involving her daughter ( my own daughter wasn't involved) and the whole thing came to the surface, the principal called her in etc

at that stage the principal called me in when i was collecting my daughter one day a little while later and explained the steps that they were taking to help this child..she didn't get into it much, she more focused on my own daughter ( we weren't standing there talking about this other child ), only to say that my own daughter was now doing great and she had moved seats and they were keeping an eye on everyones behaviour and positive reinforcement etc etc

Having said all the above I would go over the teachers head..I'd ask if there is a school liason officer, that your son is in your eyes being bullied, you have been given the names of the alledged culprits and you want to speak with someone immediatley to nip this in the bud...once it's all out in the open they can then begin to reslove this

It might even be as simple as having a group class discussion one day on the effects of bullying and how it's wrong, how it makes other people feel, how would you feel if you were bullied etc and that might reslove it

Unless you go in and firmly explain to the principal the effect that this is having on your son it won't get resolved as your son god love him has tried himself to sort it and he can't so it's your turn now to step in

I hope you get it resolved and try not to get too upset by it all, kids are cruel

byhookorbycrook

Had replied somewhat on other thread. The proper procedure is to talk to the class teacher first and then to principal and board as needs be.
The school must be made aware of any incidents so that they can be investigated.Bullying ,by its nature is usually done on the sly and it's impossible for a teacher to see every single incident.As I said on the other thread, you need to get a copy of the anti-bullying policy to see exactly how the school should plan to deal with this.Bullies are everywhere, I hope your little chap doesn't continue to be picked on.

I'm not sure what is meant by "school liason officer?"

Procrastastudy

I saw your post in the legal discussion forum but hesitated to answer. I also hesitate to answer here because I do not have kids myself but was badly bullied at school so here is my 2 peneths worth...

I was a foot taller than my school mates quite bright and very skinny. I was also a little socially awkward. My parents gave me the advice that solved the problem however I realise it's not for everyone.

I was always told: "Sticks and stones" in other words - if its verbal ignore it! If it's physical then stand up for yourself. I should point out I am from a working class inner city English background. I also realise that the majority will here disagree with me. If there is a bully or bullies (which it very usually is) they very quickly get put off if someone doesn't take to being pushed around.

I found my life at school turned around quite quickly and I have to say the last few years were some of the happiest of my life - exactly as they should be for school kids!

I think its all to easy for teacher to be dismissive of a child being bullied - they always try and give the bully the benefit of the doubt as will the bullies parents. Kids will be kids and this has always been the dynamic - I'm not saying it's right but then if there was a solutions I'd say someone would have thought of it by now.

snuggles09

the school liason officer works within my daughters school..she is the go to person between home and school if that makes sence? if a child is having issues at home that may effect school (bereavement, illness etc) you talk to the liason officer and she lets the relevent people within the school aware of the issues (teachers, principal etc)

she is also there vice versa so if something in school is effecting your child you can speak with her and she will raise it..it saves the parent having to go to the prinicipal directly or if the parent had an issue with a teacher etc and may not want to speak with the teacher

she is always in the play ground at pick up time chatting to parents she's really lovey and a great resource, very approachable and make any issues you have seem less scary to deal with

byhookorbycrook

Snuggles, presume it is a DEIS school and it's the home-school liaison teacher you mean?I agree that the OP needs to tell the school what is going on, so they can try and sort it as soon as possible.

JSawtc

Thanks.. I really appreciate the responses.

byhookorbycrook wrote: »

Bullying ,by its nature is usually done on the sly and it's impossible for a teacher to see every single incident.

The school has CCTV. Am I allowed view footage with them or do I have to take their word for it?

GCDLawstudent wrote: »

If there is a bully or bullies (which it very usually is) they very quickly get put off if someone doesn't take to being pushed around.

That's what happened to me. A guy tried once, I responded, that was the end of it.

The problem here is, he's good at karate and kick boxing. If he gets angry then.. you know yourself!

byhookorbycrook

Don't know re CCTV, to be honest. Our school has cameras but they are security ones and wouldn't be easy to pick out an individual child/children.If the children are aware of the cameras, I'll bet that the child doing the bullying will be cute enough to go out of range.

Big Bag of Chips

You need the inform the school of what is happening before you do anything else. Otherwise you are being unfair on them and not allowing them to.opportunity to work with you on this.

Our school has CCTV installed but it us only switched on at 4pm. Although, the kids think its on all day and that the Principle is keeping an eye on them! So the CCTV might not be any use to you. I don't know the legalities, but I dont think you would be allowed see it anyway... unless perhaps there was definite proof on it relevant to you?

Ask for the bullying policy, report it to his teacher and go from there. No point discussing possible legal action and what to do if the school doesn't do anything until it actually happens. At least give them the chance to act, or not, first.