Teenager being bullied, please help

Jasssss

Hi all I am hoping I am posting on the right section.My child is having a very tough time in school from another teenager.There has been a lot of bullying etc.Now up to now I have told my child to ignore it in the hope of it stopping and going away However the other day this teenager made an allegation in front of the whole class that my husband had abused and raped another child from our area.I have not slept since friday on hearing this.I telephoned the school and I am meeting with them tomorrow.Can someone please tell me if there is any action the school can take towards this 15 year old.My husband is sick to the stomach and has never had anything like this said before.Can the gardai do anything.I feel numb and I really need some help.As you all know accusations of this kind can be very damaging and can ruin someones life.

Moonbeam

You need to report this to the Gardai immediately.

MoonDancer

Tell your child to start sticking up for themselves.
I was horribly bullied all through secondary school. I was told to just ignore them. Speaking from my experience it was the worst thing and made me an easy target.
Get your kid into kickboxing and pump self confidence into her/him. Let them know there is NO WAY anyone is allowed to treat them like that. And if push comes to shove, they have the martial arts to defend themself!

Getting into contact with the school is the first important step. Don't stop there, keep in regular contact with them. Have a chat with the teacher everyday & remind them about the situation and ask for updates in how everything is going.

Go to that bullies house and talk to their parents.

The Princess Bride

Jassss- my heart goes out to you and to your family.
The only advice I would give is to sit down with your child and try to make a list of the different incidents that have occured- it will be easier when you face the teachers tomorrow,if you are prepared.
Also,it would be better if your husband and you go together-it will show a united front.

I would not,at this point, consider contacting this other child's parents.

This is a serious allegation against your husband- defamation of character,and in a most awful way, and informing the Gardaí may be the next step.

Perhaps contact The National Parents Council,Post Primary division, and ask their advice before your school appointment. www.npcpp.ie

Best of luck and take care.

byhookorbycrook

Do not approach the other child's parents under any circumstances. Make notes before you go to the meeting about what you want to say and make sure you and your husband both go to the meeting. What a horrible thing to be happening.

Please Kill Me

MoonDancer wrote: »

Tell your child to start sticking up for themselves.
I was horribly bullied all through secondary school. I was told to just ignore them. Speaking from my experience it was the worst thing and made me an easy target.
Get your kid into kickboxing and pump self confidence into her/him. Let them know there is NO WAY anyone is allowed to treat them like that. And if push comes to shove, they have the martial arts to defend themself!

Agreed!! Likewise I was bullied for years in school and only when I took up weights and martial arts did I get the confidence to stand up for myself and after a time it got around that I was not taking sh!t any more and the bullying stopped!!

MoonDancer wrote: »

Getting into contact with the school is the first important step. Don't stop there, keep in regular contact with them. Have a chat with the teacher everyday & remind them about the situation and ask for updates in how everything is going.

Go to that bullies house and talk to their parents.

Ordinarily, this would seem a logical course of action, but experience has taught me that the parents can sometimes be as bad, which is why the child is as bad as they are in the first place. It's a pity - there was a time when a good kicking would fix things but we've turned into a big bunch of babies who will sue/press charges at the drop of a hat.

@ the OP - I'm so sorry for what you are all going through. Have you sought legal advice? If you have a solicitor, maybe go talk to him/her.

Best of luck, I hope it works out.

MoonDancer

This thread is a few months old, any update on what happened?

MoonDancer

Well it has worked for me multiple times having a friendly chat with parents that have been bullying my children. It completely resolved all the problems.

Please Kill Me

MoonDancer wrote: »

Well it has worked for me multiple times having a friendly chat with parents that have been bullying my children. It completely resolved all the problems.

Yeah, depending on the parents, sometimes it CAN work, if they're logical, level-headed, intelligent people. Some just don't want to know and will tell you to f**k off as quick as look at you!

_LilyRose_

Make sure all texts and facebook messages etc. are saved as evidence.

Hope everything works out, what a horrible thing to say about someone

Jasssss

Hi,just giving you an up date.Yes we went to the gardai and reported this incident.They took all of our details and then they went to the school to speak with the principal.The school suspended this lad as a result.The gardai explained that they cannot do a lot more as they are dealing with a minor. I have never had any experience of bullying in my life probley because I came from a large family but I have to say that I can see why so many children become extremely depressed as a result of this.This has changed my child's life and virtually turned it upside down because of the actions of a few.My child with no exageration looks forward to nothing and hates everything now.This was a happy go lucky kid before this bullying started.Thanks again to everyone that posted.

fox_1973

thanks for the update, i had been following, what an awful situation for your child and yourself, would changing schools be of any use if possible at all?

MoonDancer

It will get better. I was bullied all through secondary school.
Getting into martial arts was a great confidence builder. Maybe you should think about getting him into something like that?

Ham Sambo

You should contact the Anti Bullying centre in TCD, they are pretty much up to speed with advice on what you should do next, best of luck hope all works out ok for you and your family.