Friend Break Up

HappyBalance

Was wondering if anybody has ever broken up with a close friend before?

I have no particular reason...just sick and tired of the same old crap coming from his mouth.

Any advice?

stupidusername

Advice as in should you do it? or advice as in how to do it?

i say do it. life is too short to waste on people you don't like.

HappyBalance

How to do it? Should I lie and say im leaving the country for a couple of months or just be brutally honest - which is worse? Don't feel great about either tbh

Abi

HappyBalance wrote: »

Was wondering if anybody has ever broken up with a close friend before?

I have no particular reason...just sick and tired of the same old crap coming from his mouth.

Any advice?

Go fúck yourself works for me.

hatrickpatrick

I walked away from my main group of "friends" last year after getting constantly lied to and screwed over again and again.
It's not easy. Anyone who says it's easy is just saying that, no point in sugar coating it - it hurts. It's crushing. But you get through it, slowly, and eventually you realize that you're better off without that crap.

As someone said above, life is too short to let people stress you out. You deserve better.

stupidusername

HappyBalance wrote: »

How to do it? Should I lie and say im leaving the country for a couple of months or just be brutally honest - which is worse? Don't feel great about either tbh

There is an in between those two options! you could be honest about it, but does it really matter? what would anyone gain out of pure honesty here?

Badgermonkey

Are you simply bored with him or is it that his antics impact negatively upon you?

John Doe1

Yeah id known these lads from primary school but I just realised last year we are very different people and their constant cynicism just got to me. Now I feel a lot better though

HappyBalance

Badgermonkey wrote: »

Are you simply bored with him or is it that his antics impact negatively upon you?

A bit of both. I do like the guy don't get me wrong, my outlook on life has changed and when I talk to him I just feel down. He kind of saps the energy from me. The last think I want to do is hurt him but it looks like I have no choice

TheZohanS

HappyBalance wrote: »

A bit of both. I do like the guy don't get me wrong, my outlook on life has changed and when I talk to him I just feel down. He kind of saps the energy from me. The last think I want to do is hurt him but it looks like I have no choice

Take a time out and do your own thing for a while, don't burn any bridges but don't make yourself available.

Badgermonkey

HappyBalance wrote: »

A bit of both. I do like the guy don't get me wrong, my outlook on life has changed and when I talk to him I just feel down. He kind of saps the energy from me. The last think I want to do is hurt him but it looks like I have no choice

Seems like you're being fair and are cognisant of the potential to cause hurt.

Some friends are kept, some fall by the wayside, occasionally it's dramatic, most other times it's a gradual distancing that occurs.

Only you know how to play it, hope it works out.

flanders1979

Go to couples therapy, maybe there is no need for you to break up.

emzolita

oh I had the exact same thing with a friend before. He would put me in a bad mood after meeting up with him, was very selfish, and self-centered. So I just kept putting off our time to meet up. I felt really bad, but it had to be done, eventually he moved to Oz, so I didn't need to lie anymore.
Now I wasn't that close with this guy, so could get away with it, but I dunno how close you are with your mate. Maybe just don't invite him out with you, or decline invitations for a while, and see how ya get on.
good luck

Captain Graphite

HappyBalance wrote: »

How to do it? Should I lie and say im leaving the country for a couple of months or just be brutally honest - which is worse? Don't feel great about either tbh

Do you really wanna go the length of lying about leaving the country? Reminds me of this:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=utJSxocFRGQ

Brutal honesty is better and probably easier in the long run.

44leto

HappyBalance wrote: »

Was wondering if anybody has ever broken up with a close friend before?

I have no particular reason...just sick and tired of the same old crap coming from his mouth.

Any advice?

Do you need advice? just drift apart, if that is what you want to do, don't hit him or her up with ultimatum crap, it ties you in knots and cut your options and cause needless hurt.

But the above does not apply to intimate relationships.

Sindri

Eh OP? By any chance may it be me who you are referring to?

Senna

How to end a friendship with another fella;
http://i.imgur.com/YdbsM.gif

newmug

Say, "I have to tell you this - as a friend". Then point out whats pi$$ing you off, but in a constructive critism kind of way, not in a mean way. End it with "I'm not saying this to hurt you, but if your mates cant tell you, then who can?"

This will either:

A) get it off your chest, possibly making you feel better around him, and improving your relationship.

make him realise the times he can be overbearing, and hopefully he'll make an effort to change.

C) offend him, which might result in HIM telling YOU to go and feck off. Job done.


One thing it will DEFINATLEY do is put you on an honest footing with him. No need to feel guilty or two-faced anymore.

Son Of A Vidic

HappyBalance wrote: »

I have no particular reason...just sick and tired of the same old crap coming from his mouth.

Posted like a true friend.

ihsb

Your relationship has been dying down, so why not phase him out? You only have to tell him whats going on if he asks. But chances are he is feeling the change too and he might be glad he doesn't have to do the leg work. Soon you will be only talking once a month... then every six. It goes like that.

Greentopia

HappyBalance wrote: »

Was wondering if anybody has ever broken up with a close friend before?

I have no particular reason...just sick and tired of the same old crap coming from his mouth.

Any advice?

Well instead of just cutting him out of your life just yet, have you talked to him about how you feel? maybe he's clueless that he's driving you mad and if you said it to him he'd change his ways?

I'd give him the chance anyway if he is as you say a close friend. I'd feel I'd owe it to a friend to at least do that.

token101

Just unfriend him on Facebook. Let the internet do the dirty work.

Greentopia

token101 wrote: »

Just unfriend him on Facebook. Let the internet do the dirty work.

And what does he tell him the next time he meets him and the friend asks why he unfriended him on FB?
better to man up and talk to him face to face.

blatantrereg

If I'm bored of someone or find them starting to grate, I spend less time with them socially, and that fixes it.
I wouldn't terminate a friendship unless they did something bad. Usually an action that effects me or someone I like in a way I dont accept. Much more rarely because of bad behaviour towards strangers.
I disagree with choosing friends for entertainment value. Someone can be great fun, but horrible - or boring, but decent and reliable. The latter type are a lot more valuable as friends.

Digitalism

yup. had a mate who I was good friends with for years, but just over the course of about a year, grew apart. doesnt help the fact that he was extremely two faced and clearly jealous of me.

I still bump into him the odd time due to having some mutual friends, but we never say much and just avoid each other. Im not loosing sleep over it though. I have a very good life which im grateful for, and if he wants to start hanging out with me or get in contact with me again, then thats fine, but I wont be the one initiating the conversation.

The guy had a bit of a hero complex about him due to the fact that he did a bit of weight lifting, and thought he was Brock Lesnar or something and did the whole pigeon chest puff and all that :rolleyes: He is probably the most non intimidating person ive ever met.

OP, if you really dont want to continue being mates with him, you will just naturally drift apart and loose contact with him over time, it happens lots of people.

Chuck Stone

I say bottle up all those emotions until you are a high pressure volcano. Then on a night out start off with a few pints and then go on the whiskey...

.. the next morning when you wake up in a police station cell and your former friend is in hospital suffering from grievous bodily harm you friendship will be well and truly over.

token101

Greentopia wrote: »

And what does he tell him the next time he meets him and the friend asks why he unfriended him on FB?
better to man up and talk to him face to face.

He tells him to **** off and ask Facebook what the craic is. Facebook was the one that unfriended him.

Teyla Emmagan

I've done it OP, and it was really hard. I do regret that I just 'phased them out' as opposed to being more honest with them though. It may have been easier on me, but it probably wasn't very fair on her. I feel bad that I never gave her an explanation (we were really close, for a very long time). It had to be done, but I'm still not sure if I went about it the right way.

kmart6

Chuck Stone wrote: »

I say bottle up all those emotions until you are a high pressure volcano.

Did you see this?!

Senna wrote: »

How to end a friendship with another fella;
http://i.imgur.com/YdbsM.gif

Dotsie~tmp

blatantrereg wrote: »

If I'm bored of someone or find them starting to grate, I spend less time with them socially, and that fixes it.
I wouldn't terminate a friendship unless they did something bad. Usually an action that effects me or someone I like in a way I dont accept. Much more rarely because of bad behaviour towards strangers.
I disagree with choosing friends for entertainment value. Someone can be great fun, but horrible - or boring, but decent and reliable. The latter type are a lot more valuable as friends.

How many fuc*ing friends have you got?

smash

HappyBalance wrote: »

Any advice?

Get drunk and try to bone his gf/sister/mother....

Greentopia

token101 wrote: »

He tells him to **** off and ask Facebook what the craic is. Facebook was the one that unfriended him.

but of course...

blatantrereg

Dotsie~tmp wrote: »

How many fuc*ing friends have you got?

huh?

sbsquarepants

HappyBalance wrote: »

Was wondering if anybody has ever broken up with a close friend before?

I have no particular reason...just sick and tired of the same old crap coming from his mouth.

Any advice?

Life is too short to waste on people you don't like, just cut your ties and move on. I wish i'd figured that out a lot earlier than i actually did, would have saved me a lot of time, money, heartache and even the odd hiding!!
Be yourself and fúck anyone that doesn't fit into whatever that entails.
Trust me you'll be much happier in the long run.

sheesh

newmug wrote: »

Say, "I have to tell you this - as a friend". Then point out whats pi$$ing you off, but in a constructive critism kind of way, not in a mean way. End it with "I'm not saying this to hurt you, but if your mates cant tell you, then who can?"

This will either:

A) get it off your chest, possibly making you feel better around him, and improving your relationship.

make him realise the times he can be overbearing, and hopefully he'll make an effort to change.

C) offend him, which might result in HIM telling YOU to go and feck off. Job done.


One thing it will DEFINATLEY do is put you on an honest footing with him. No need to feel guilty or two-faced anymore.

this seems like good advice. I would be careful what you say it so he cannot just say it didn't happen or you are nuts.


My after hours response:
1. suggest an exciting trip to see the cliffs of moher.
2 push your friend off the cliffs of Moher. / Leave your friend at the cliffs of Moher.

Anyone

HappyBalance wrote: »

Was wondering if anybody has ever broken up with a close friend before?

I have no particular reason...just sick and tired of the same old crap coming from his mouth.

Any advice?

You're not their friend.

Cee-Jay-Cee

Just cut contact with them gradually, make excuses as to why you cant meet up, ignore calls/texts for a day or so, it'll gradually die itself and you can get on with your life, failing that, ride him....its a sure way to kill a friendship.

Irish Guitarist

When I was about thirteen I was hanging around with two lads. Myself and one of the lads were talking about how to get rid of the other one. I suggested running while his back was turned, so we did. He eventually caught up with us and said "if you don't want to be friends with me just say so". We both said in unison "we don't want to be friends with you" and laughed. That got rid of him.

You should try that.

In case anyone feels sorry for him I should point out that we went to primary school together and he once almost killed me by putting a plastic bag over my head for about fifteen seconds.

boobar

HappyBalance wrote: »

A bit of both. I do like the guy don't get me wrong, my outlook on life has changed and when I talk to him I just feel down. He kind of saps the energy from me. The last think I want to do is hurt him but it looks like I have no choice

Noise reducing earphones?

dhayashi

I am confused!! Are you trying to break up with a friend that you're dating, or end a friendship?

My personal opinion is that if you call this person your friend, you should be a friend to them as well! That means if they are always doing the same old thing and it reflects negatively upon them, talk to them about it! That is what a friend would do...point out things that they think need to be said and help their friends grow and become better people. The same idea would apply to someone you were dating, if you care about them.

Stiffler2

pissing in their kettle, rubbing your bum on their pillow.
Fairy Liquid in toilet cistern -> :-)

re-creating their facebook account, then invite them & all their mates until you have a replica - that seems to pi$$ of ppl alot for some reason..



PM me - I know ways....

dday

HappyBalance wrote: »

Was wondering if anybody has ever broken up with a close friend before?

I have no particular reason...just sick and tired of the same old crap coming from his mouth.

Any advice?[/Quote


Yes that happened to me, was mentally and physically drained ... I was happy go lucky person and yet I always felt miserable .. Self absorbed .. Then I met a few
Of his friends and they said da same thing ... I was gob smacked .. So it came to a head and I cut ties ... U feel awful for a while but it's fine as u move on ...

Friel

Just start developing a new group of friends. Eventually you'll start to drift from the group you're with now. If you do have a specific group of friends at the minute, and you badly want away from the one friend, then you're the one that's going to have to leave the group, you can't push the other person away because other people mightn't have a problem with him/her.

Or you could just be open about the whole thing and say to the person that you find them to be a rather large bellend. Make sure not to mix up "be" with "have".

Karona

I broke up with a friend OP. If we were meant to be going anywhere she would conveniently fall asleep and either be late or she'd ring hours later using this bad excuse. If we went to a niteclub she was too cool for school and would stand there with a scowl on her face and no one was allowed to enjoy themselves around her.

I got sick of this so I text her one day asking was there something wrong with her and she replied no why? So of course I went on saying she is always falling asleep and had very high and low moods and I might have suggested she might have bipolar. That kind of got rid of her. :cool:

I have much better friends now who i enjoy hanging around with.

Life is too short to be hanging around with people who drag you down.