Slash's Appetite for Destruction Makes Kiddies Cry

starbelgrade

Crazed looney men with slash hooks went mental at a kids Communion in a church in Mayo today.

Rival members from two families - who were known to Gardai - chose a kiddies religious sect meeting as the scene for gangland warfare in the one horse town of Ballinrobe this afternoon.

Described by NASA scientists as the most remote spot on planet earth, the town's inhabitants were left reeling after barbaric scenes that rivalled the church scene from Tarantino's "Kill Bill".

It was eventually put to a stop when overpaid civil servants in high-viz jackets showed up armed to the teeth.

One man is believed to have said, "Whazzhhekkkuup ya".

And in Dublin, a woman we interviewed said, "This is unbelievable - I didn't even know that Ballinrobe was a real place."

Garda investigations continue.

Read more here: http://www.mayonews.ie/index.php?option=com_content&view=article&id=14776:slash-hook-attack-at-ballinrobe-confirmation-mass&catid=23:news&Itemid=46

Crann na Beatha

This post has been deleted.

strobe

Thread title win!

Cianos

These congregations of religious extremists must be stopped.

starbelgrade

strobe wrote: »

Thread title win!

I want a job with The Sun - this is my calling card.

Chuck Stone

In the future they will use light sabers and it will all seem so cool.

FearDark

"slash hooks"

I wonder what part of society these men come from :rolleyes:

Southern Hero

starbelgrade wrote: »

strobe wrote: »

Thread title win!

I want a job with The Sun - this is my calling card.

Ah u were doing well, why stoop to the sun

Chuck Stone

FearDark wrote: »

"slash hooks"

I wonder what part of society these men come from :rolleyes:

The IMF?

Mr. Incognito

was I the only person to think this was about Guns and Roses?

Instead it's about tinkers bateing each other,

Fail

MickySticks

Them bloody single mothers at it again

strobe

FearDark wrote: »

"slash hooks"

I wonder what part of society these men come from :rolleyes:

It's those bloody wheat farmers again innit?

Southern Hero

Who'll dance with the IMF reps daughter?

cloptrop

Nobody was hurt

starbelgrade

cloptrop wrote: »

Nobody was hurt

You can't have everything.

Teyla Emmagan

A Tuesday in February is an awfully funny day to be getting Confirmed. Just sayin', like.

Sounds like the day they'll remember as when the fear of holy God came into their lives anyway. An all round result I guess then, for the Catholic Church.

bernardo mac

Well,they just became young soldiers of God.Veterans just giving them an early training day.Hope there was no drink involved.

Sindri

I wish my Granny was alive to have seen this. If she'd been in the church she'd have put a stop to this carry on fairly lively.

Calibos

I will defend their culture of rioting with slash hooks at communion ceromonies in churches till my dying breath. You're all just racist Nazi's!!

Dudess

FearDark wrote: »

"slash hooks"

I wonder what part of society these men come from :rolleyes:

Butchers? Abattoir workers?

Dudess

Mr. Incognito wrote: »

was I the only person to think this was about Guns and Roses?

Zat's ze joke.

Insect Overlord

Awesome OP.

Dudess wrote: »

Zat's ze joke.

Trolled.

Ficheall

First lass I ever kissed was from Ballinrobe. Under my first shooting star and all. That was about the pinnacle of the relationship though.

Sindri

Ficheall wrote: »

First lass I ever kissed was from Ballinrobe. Under my first shooting star and all. That was about the pinnacle of the relationship though.

That is so like Titanic OMG!!!. That story should be made into a movie. I'm thinking we call it Titanic 2:The Unsinkabler Ship but you have to die a horrible death first or else we don't got a movie.

Then Titanic 3:The Unsinkablerest Ship, where basically a crippled Australian goes to another planet inhabited by giant primitive beings who are suspiciously similar to Smurfs and Native Americans where he learns the value of an ecological friendly lifestyle realised only through warfare.

jimthemental

Starbelgrade your source material is wrong. It was a bris and the slash hooks were for the circumcision, these Mayo Jews are adrenaline junkies!

cocoshovel

Inb4 every county has one of these types of sites.

Seachmall

but reported that a number of gardaí, who were on patrol locally, brought the situation under control.

Translation

We knew the fuckers would be at it so we dumped a shit load of armed Gardai to the spot prior to it kicking off. They fucked the cunts up real good.

The_Minister

FearDark wrote: »

"slash hooks"

I wonder what part of society these men come from :rolleyes:

Damn Druids!!

Dey Tuuk Our Mistletoe!