Confucius Say

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Confucius Say
A good woman will do 70 chores around the house. Cooking and 69.
Confucius Say
A vagina is like a very small hotel. One must leave his bag outside.
Confucius Say
A Platonic Relationship develops after two good friends are tired of screwing each other.
Confucius Say
A chicken is the result of a sitting hen, while a baby is the result of standing cock.
Confucius Say
Man with one foot on 'yesterday' and one foot on 'tomorrow' will end up pissing on 'today'.
Confucius Say
Man with a broken condom is called a Daddy
Confucius Say
When one man rub lotion on another man, it is called "Men-Gay".
Confucius Say
Man who mix Viagra and Ex-Lax, dosen't know if he's coming or going. Confucius Say
If a bulldog and a ****su are mated, it would be called a "bull****".

RedFFWolf

...and Confucius he say, "Name go in book"

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Confucius Say
Jamaican proctologist is called "Pokemon".

Confucius Say
Alcohol is the cause of some problems and the solution to others.

Confucius Say
Flatulence is the emergency vehicle that picks you up after you are run over by a steamroller.

Confucius Say
Man who mix Rogaine with Viagra will end up hard headed.

Confucius Say
Prisoners complain behind bars, husbands complain in them.

Confucius Say
The difference between a dog and a fox is about five drinks.

Confucius Say
Don't assume malice for what stupidity can explain.

Confucius Say
Vitamins are good for what ails you. Viagra is good for what fails you.

Confucius Say
A clean tie will attract the soup of the day.

Confucius Say
A friend is someone who thinks you're a good egg even though you're slightly cracked.

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Confucius say:

"If you are in a book store and cannot find book for which you search,

you are obviously in the...

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Confucius Say
A gay gentleman from the Deep South is called a homo-sex-y'all

Confucius Say
A Greek tampon is called "Abzorba the Leak."

Confucius Say
Even a fish can escape being caught, if it keeps its mouth shut.

Confucius Say
Well done is better than well said.

Confucius Say
Even a turtle only makes progress when it sticks its neck out.

Confucius Say
New York manufacturer of gentlemen's headwear is called "Manhatten".

Confucius Say
Homosexuals don't play chess because they don't want to sacrifice a Queen.

Confucius Say
Few things are harder to put up with than a good example.

Confucius Say
Those who get to big for their britches will be exposed in the end.

Confucius Say
The quietest place in the world is the complaint department at a parachute packing plant.

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Confucius Say
Man with a lisp will walk with a Lymph.
Confucius Say
Woman who come to bed wearing nothing but running shoes, wants to have marathon session.
Confucius Say
At a nudist wedding, you don't have to ask - you can see who the best man is.
Confucius Say
A Church's bills are always "Due unto others"
Confucius Say
Egghead is what Mrs. Dumpty gives Humpty
Confucius Say
A verbal outburst during the male orgasm is called "Sperm Wail".
Confucius Say
Prostitute who likes bondage is usually strapped for cash.
Confucius Say
For every woman with a curve, there are several men with angles.
Confucius Say
Never marry a woman with big hands. It will make your dick look smaller
Confucius Say
The only thing divorce proves is whose mother was right in the first place.

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Confucius Say
Best way to cure water on the brain is with a tap on the head.



Confucius Say
A drunk who works at an upholstery shop is a recovering alcoholic



Confucius Say
Man who finds job at crystal ball company will make a fortune.



Confucius Say
A butler with no teeth is called an in-dentured servant.



Confucius Say
Man who want to catch a bra, should set a boobie trap.



Confucius Say
Misfortune is the kind of fortune that never misses.



Confucius Say
If You look in fortune cookie, you are a pathetic fool who seeks advice from bakery products.



Confucius Say
Virgin like balloon...one prick, all gone.



Confucius Say
A tight dress is like a barbed fence. It protects the premises without restricting the view.



Confucius Say
Criticism is not nearly as effective as sabotage.

W123-80's

Confucius Say
Man who walk through Airpost turnstile sideways...Going to Bangkok..

Confucius Say
Man standing on toilet, high on pot..

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Confucius Say
Forgiveness is cheaper than a lawsuit, but not nearly as gratifying.

Confucius Say
You know you are a geek when you look at a movie trailer and think, "I have that font."

Confucius Say
Birds of a feather flock together...then crap on your car.

Confucius Say
Men are like spray paint. One squeeze and they're all over you.

Confucius Say
Couple who cross LSD with birth control pills, get a trip without the kids.

Confucius Say
To circumcise a whale, send down four skin divers.

Confucius Say
An award winning dentist will be given a little plaque

Confucius Say
The opening in the front of your boxer shorts is called the "Circumvent".

Confucius Say
A bachelor is man who never makes the same mistake once.

Confucius Say
Never tell a secret to a pig, it may squeal.

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Confucius Say
Man who give up all hope of ever having a flat stomach will "Abdicate".

Confucius Say
Man who is impotent will have Willy-nilly.

Confucius Say
Woman who absentmindedly answer the door in her nightie is "Negligent"

Confucius Say
When wife complain too much about no magic in marriage, husband will disappear.

Confucius Say
It rarely occurs to teenagers that the day will come when they'll know as little as their parents.

Confucius Say
Gay man in Chinese restaurant will order "sum yung guy".

Confucius Say
The difference between pink and purple, is your grip.

Confucius Say
The worst thing a wife can get on her twenty fifth wedding anniversary is morning sickness.

Confucius Say
Rudolph was grounded after his dad saw his report card because he went down in history.

Confucius Say
Sex is the only activity where you start at the top and work your way to the bottom, while getting a rise.

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Confucius Say
Killing two birds with one stone often ends with hate mail from the humane society.

Confucius Say
The best way to save face, is to keep the lower part of it shut.

Confucius Say
To make a long story short, don't tell it.

Confucius Say
Never approach a bull from the front, a horse from the rear or a fool from any direction.

Confucius Say
A giraffe's family reunion is called "necks of kin."

Confucius Say
A man is only as faithful as his options.

Confucius Say
A bicycle can't stand on its own because it is two-tired.

Confucius Say
Never argue with a fool...he may be doing the same thing.

Confucius Say
The best way to keep your word is not to give it.

Confucius Say
A man's last will and testiment is a dead give away.

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Confucius Say
A prostitute with a degree in psychology will blow your mind.

Confucius Say
Always wear Stealth condoms...they'll never see you coming.

Confucius Say
A transvestite is a man who likes to eat, drink and be Mary.

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Confucius Say
A vigorous masturbation session is called "Hand to Gland Combat".

Confucius Say
An airplane girl is a blonde who has a black box.

Confucius Say
Gay dinosaur is called Mega-sor-ass.