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Gay and dont like anal sex?!

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  • 01-03-2012 3:31am
    #1
    curry_person
    Registered Users Posts: 212 ✭✭


    i think i dont like anal sex tried it loads of times but still dont find any pleasure in it?!
    am i the only one?! is there a name for this?! :confused:
    Tagged:


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    #2
    baby and crumble
    Registered Users Posts: 8,512 ✭✭✭baby and crumble


    Hey OP,

    I'm not a gay man, but from what I have heard, not all gay men have or enjoy anal sex. There's tons of other stuff you can do. Not every lesbian likes oral, even though it's meant to be "the main thing" we do. :rolleyes:


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    #3
    Annasopra
    Registered Users Posts: 41,062 ✭✭✭✭Annasopra


    curry_person wrote: »
    i think i dont like anal sex tried it loads of times but still dont find any pleasure in it?!
    am i the only one?! is there a name for this?! :confused:

    No - you're not the only one

    An ESRI report in 2006 found that 70% of gay men reported they never had anal sex

    http://www.esri.ie/UserFiles/publications/20061016131112/BKMNEXT084_Main%20Report.pdf

    It was so much easier to blame it on Them. It was bleakly depressing to think that They were Us. If it was Them, then nothing was anyone's fault. If it was us, what did that make Me? After all, I'm one of Us. I must be. I've certainly never thought of myself as one of Them. No one ever thinks of themselves as one of Them. We're always one of Us. It's Them that do the bad things.

    Terry Pratchet



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    #4
    cafecolour
    Registered Users Posts: 1,328 ✭✭✭cafecolour


    It's not that uncommon. I'm also don't really like anal sex (even as a top), it doesn't do much for me.


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    #5
    Intouch9
    Registered Users Posts: 209 ✭✭Intouch9


    I was like that for years... eventually came around to the idea and now I'm an addict. :-)


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    #6
    Aurongroove
    Registered Users Posts: 876 ✭✭✭Aurongroove


    From what I've heard it's quite common not to like anal sex.


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    #7
    curry_person
    Registered Users Posts: 212 ✭✭curry_person


    mango salsa wrote: »
    No - you're not the only one

    An ESRI report in 2006 found that 70% of gay men reported they never had anal sex

    http://www.esri.ie/UserFiles/publications/20061016131112/BKMNEXT084_Main%20Report.pdf

    where are these people tho? i don't know any gay that doesn't like anal sex!! aghh! lol atleast i ain't only one tho! :D


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    #8
    Rick_
    Registered Users Posts: 2,610 ✭✭✭Rick_


    I'm not that big on bum fun.

    Like others have said, plenty of other things you can do instead of anal. :)


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    #9
    coolperson05
    Registered Users Posts: 280 ✭✭coolperson05


    I agree with the others, it's not for everyone.
    Saying that it could be you need the right person to help 'introduce' you to it. I found that it requires practice and patience, ideally with the same, understanding person so that you find what works for you.
    But it's not for everyone and there's plenty more to keep you busy! :D


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    #10
    L1011
    Registered Users Posts: 68,550 ✭✭✭✭L1011


    mango salsa wrote: »
    No - you're not the only one

    An ESRI report in 2006 found that 70% of gay men reported they never had anal sex

    http://www.esri.ie/UserFiles/publications/20061016131112/BKMNEXT084_Main%20Report.pdf

    That bit of that report is the one I can't actually understand.

    There are definitely gay men who don't like anal, either insertive or receptive, but I can't see how 70% have *never* had it.

    Suspect it was a poorly worded question.


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    #11
    cgcsb
    Registered Users Posts: 9,399 ✭✭✭cgcsb


    I'd say most gay men read it and LOLed and said "who, me??? NEVER!"


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    #12
    Pacifist Pigeon
    Closed Accounts Posts: 504 ✭✭✭Pacifist Pigeon


    mango salsa wrote: »
    No - you're not the only one

    An ESRI report in 2006 found that 70% of gay men reported they never had anal sex

    http://www.esri.ie/UserFiles/publications/20061016131112/BKMNEXT084_Main%20Report.pdf

    I may have read some other report that contradicts that figure. 70% is a bit unrealistic in my opinion - maybe closer to 30%.

    Certainly though, anal sex isn't everyone's cup of tea - you know with the smell and all that poo.


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    #13
    oisindoyle
    Closed Accounts Posts: 899 ✭✭✭oisindoyle


    Pacifist Pigeon wrote: »
    I may have read some other report that contradicts that figure. 70% is a bit unrealistic in my opinion - maybe closer to 30%.

    Certainly though, anal sex isn't everyone's cup of tea - you know with the smell and all that poo.

    Well i disgaree i have seen that number 65-70% before ,just because someone is gay it doesnt mean you HAVE to engage in anal sex
    As for the last part of ur comment is uncalled for and very troll like


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    #14
    Pacifist Pigeon
    Closed Accounts Posts: 504 ✭✭✭Pacifist Pigeon


    oisindoyle wrote: »
    As for the last part of ur comment is uncalled for and very troll like

    Would you disagree that one of the main reasons such a large amount of people steer away from anal sex is because of the uncleanliness often associated with it? Not everyone has time to use an enema before engaging in anal sex, so as you can imagine things get messy sometimes...


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    #15
    tinker217
    Registered Users Posts: 19 ✭tinker217


    Want to bump this thread because I am seeing a guy and it hasn't really come up yet but I know it will soon. I am not into anal either as a top or bottom and I know he is vers, how do I approach it with him?


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    #16
    Annasopra
    Registered Users Posts: 41,062 ✭✭✭✭Annasopra


    tinker217 wrote: »
    Want to bump this thread because I am seeing a guy and it hasn't really come up yet but I know it will soon. I am not into anal either as a top or bottom and I know he is vers, how do I approach it with him?

    Just be honest and tell him

    It was so much easier to blame it on Them. It was bleakly depressing to think that They were Us. If it was Them, then nothing was anyone's fault. If it was us, what did that make Me? After all, I'm one of Us. I must be. I've certainly never thought of myself as one of Them. No one ever thinks of themselves as one of Them. We're always one of Us. It's Them that do the bad things.

    Terry Pratchet



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    #17
    tinker217
    Registered Users Posts: 19 ✭tinker217


    I know thats what I should do, just afraid he will run a mile because apart from this issue things are going well. I find it hard to meet guys that are accepting of it, if I know a guy is into anal is a big way i usually shy off as I feel nervous talking about it.


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    #18
    cgcsb
    Registered Users Posts: 9,399 ✭✭✭cgcsb


    Give it another tinker, if you really like him, chances are the sex would be better this time. My advice would be to not jump into it straight away. If you're having sex, take your time, have plenty of foreplay, roling around, touching, intimacy, oral etc. and just work your way up to it. It'll be grand


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    #19
    tinker217
    Registered Users Posts: 19 ✭tinker217


    Its not that I can't do it I don't like doing it. I don't want to change how I do things for a guy.


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    #20
    door
    Registered Users Posts: 203 ✭✭door


    Pacifist Pigeon wrote: »
    Would you disagree that one of the main reasons such a large amount of people steer away from anal sex is because of the uncleanliness often associated with it? Not everyone has time to use an enema before engaging in anal sex, so as you can imagine things get messy sometimes...

    You obviously don't know how to wash yourself


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    #21
    oisindoyle
    Closed Accounts Posts: 899 ✭✭✭oisindoyle


    tinker217 wrote: »
    Its not that I can't do it I don't like doing it. I don't want to change how I do things for a guy.


    Just because you are gay doesn't mean you have to have anal sex ,,,you don't.
    There are lots of fun things to do :)
    Be honest with your new guy,that's all you can do .


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    #22
    Conor30
    Registered Users Posts: 522 ✭✭✭Conor30


    mango salsa wrote: »
    No - you're not the only one

    An ESRI report in 2006 found that 70% of gay men reported they never had anal sex

    http://www.esri.ie/UserFiles/publications/20061016131112/BKMNEXT084_Main%20Report.pdf



    Yeah, and an American study uncovered similar results - around only a third of gay men there reported to engaging in anal sex. Don't have a link to hand though.


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    #23
    Conor30
    Registered Users Posts: 522 ✭✭✭Conor30


    Pacifist Pigeon wrote: »
    I may have read some other report that contradicts that figure. 70% is a bit unrealistic in my opinion - maybe closer to 30%.

    Certainly though, anal sex isn't everyone's cup of tea - you know with the smell and all that poo.

    Are you saying the ESRI got it wrong?


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    #24
    Conor30
    Registered Users Posts: 522 ✭✭✭Conor30


    cgcsb wrote: »
    Give it another tinker, if you really like him, chances are the sex would be better this time. My advice would be to not jump into it straight away. If you're having sex, take your time, have plenty of foreplay, roling around, touching, intimacy, oral etc. and just work your way up to it. It'll be grand

    Very true. And even a dildo could be used to just play around with it and see how you get on.


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    #25
    L1011
    Registered Users Posts: 68,550 ✭✭✭✭L1011


    Conor30 wrote: »
    Are you saying the ESRI got it wrong?

    I suspect ESRI asked a really, really badly worded question.


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    #26
    floggg
    Registered Users Posts: 5,820 ✭✭✭floggg


    tinker217 wrote: »
    Its not that I can't do it I don't like doing it. I don't want to change how I do things for a guy.

    You shouldn't necessarily "change" for a guy but relationships are about give and take. Obviously he should never force you to do something your not comfortable with, but you are going to have to come to some sort of accommodation with him.

    For it to work, either he'll have to forego anal sex for your sake or you will have to engage in it to some degree for his sake. If you can't accommodate each other in some mutually satisfying manner I guess you'll have to accept you are not sexually compatible and go your separate ways.


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    #27
    1ZRed
    Closed Accounts Posts: 7,293 ✭✭✭1ZRed


    Conor30 wrote: »
    Yeah, and an American study uncovered similar results - around only a third of gay men there reported to engaging in anal sex. Don't have a link to hand though.

    That is so wrong. I've never encountered a gay guy who did not engage in anal sex. I might believe that study if it was a third of men who weren't having anal sex but that's still relatively high. Men who don't have anal sex do exist and I'm not denying that, but it is nowhere near 70%, if it was, the OP would have no problem with this and finding like-minded guys would be easier than finding men who like anal sex.
    C'mon you really believe that statistic? Even when based on your own experience?


    Anyway OP (the one who bumped this), I'm not into getting penetrated at all. It's not something that particularly arouses me and I definetly do not get any pleasure from it. Just discomfort from the feeling of thrusting. That said I have only been messed around with but if I don't like toys or foreplay and it doesn't excite me or my prostate, the real thing won't fair much better. I do love to top though. That's just me but there are plenty of guys who accept this and aren't bothered so relax OP, you'll find your match eventually. All you have to do is be confident of what you want and what you like because you're not at fault just because you don't like '"the done thing" as far as gay sex goes ;)


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    #28
    Conor30
    Registered Users Posts: 522 ✭✭✭Conor30


    MYOB wrote: »
    I suspect ESRI asked a really, really badly worded question.

    Really? Why would you say that?!


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    #29
    L1011
    Registered Users Posts: 68,550 ✭✭✭✭L1011


    Conor30 wrote: »
    Really? Why would you say that?!

    Because the experiences of everyone on this thread would suggest the figure is completely and utterly incorrect, that's why.

    A badly worded question gets gibberish results.


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    #30
    1ZRed
    Closed Accounts Posts: 7,293 ✭✭✭1ZRed


    Conor30 wrote: »
    Really? Why would you say that?!

    Because it's just not true. I don't even need to have facts, in reality all the guys I've met with have anal sex. If your statistic was true then I'd run into loads of guys that don't want it or said it's not what they like. That's yet to happen for me.

    I'm not doubting there's a sizeable percentage of gay men that don't engage in anal sex but it is much much lower than that.

    Edit, Actually here are your facts:
    The 1994 Laumann study suggests that 80% of gay men practice it and 20% never engage in it at all.
    The National Institutes of Health (NIH), with information published in the British Medical Journal (BMJ), states that two thirds of gay men have anal sex. Other sources suggest that roughly three-fourths of gay men have anal sex at one time or another in their lives, with an equal percentage participating as tops and bottoms.


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    #31
    Conor30
    Registered Users Posts: 522 ✭✭✭Conor30


    1ZRed wrote: »
    Because it's just not true. I don't even need to have facts, in reality all the guys I've met with have anal sex. If your statistic was true then I'd run into loads of guys that don't want it or said it's not what they like. That's yet to happen for me.

    I'm not doubting there's a sizeable percentage of gay men that don't engage in anal sex but it is much much lower than that.

    Edit, Actually here are your facts:

    That wasn't what I was asking MYOB. I was asking him why he didn't have faith in the ERSI. Different question entirely. Thanks for your input though.


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