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Opinions on my song greatly appreciated...

  • 01-03-2012 4:53pm
    #1
    Choudary
    Closed Accounts Posts: 28 ✭


    My first attempt at my own song. I am not playing any instruments myself only writing these lyrics. (The melody from first verse is borrow from Bollywood movie Ja Chuki)

    Ja Chuki Hai Kaam Wali, Kaam Saare Chod Ke
    Jao Tum Bhi Hai Ye Binti Haath Dono Jod Ke
    O Ja Chuki Hai Kaam Wali, Kaam Saare Chod Ke
    Jao Tum Bhi Hai Ye Binti Haath Dono Jod Ke
    Kab Jaoge O Kab Jaoge, Kab Jaoge O Kab Jaoge
    Na Jaane Tum Kab Jaoge
    Suhani Raat Dhal Chuki, Na Jaane Tum Kab Jaoge
    Tum Kab Jaoge

    It’ s About Time You Leave
    And You Disagree With Me
    But I Can Tell To Look Around And Face Him
    It Makes Me So Mad, So Sad
    When You Coming Around Looking Like That
    You Got Enough To Tell Me Its Gonna Be OK
    Tell Me If You Don’ t Have A Job What You’ ll Say
    Take It To The Round Doing Nothing All Day
    Pick Up Your Bags And Get Up Out Of My Way
    Leave Me Alone Leave
    My Home Just Thanks To The Way Coz I’ m Done
    Im About To Lose My Mind
    Im About To Lose My Time
    On You And That Ain’ t Fine
    Aazma Na Sabar Mera Har Jaga Na Dekhal
    Chor Keh Ke Main Kahin Karna Dootey Tera Katal
    Oo Aazma Na Sabar Mera Har Jaga Na Dekhal
    Chor Keh Ke Main Kahin Karna Dootey Tera Katal
    When Will You Go, O Please Let Me Know
    When Will You Go, O Do Let Me Know
    Na Jaane Tum Kab Jaoge (No Way)
    (Suhani Raat Dhal Chuki
    Na Jaane Tum Kab Jaoge) – 2
    Atithi Tum Kab Jaoge


    This is being my first attempt, thank you

    Kind regards,

    Choudary Chintapalli


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