people who dont thank you for being nice

Sunnyisland

Its nice to be nice :-) Thank you for reading this.

Big Nasty

Ryan06 wrote: »

Is the hazard lights being a thanks button an Irish thing I wonder, like the clapping when the plane lands?

It's a trucker thing, only it's become to mainstream for truckers now so they twiddle their indicator stalk one way then the other instead.

Moral of the story? Truckers are scene dudes.

44leto

realies wrote: »

Its nice to be nice :-) Thank you for reading this.

No problem but don't make a nuisance of yourself and post to much.:D

Diabhal Beag

When you do a nice thing for somebody you don't do it to feel good, you just want to know you did something nice that was appreciated by somebody who you hope would do the same in return. You don't want to think you did a good deed that wasted on a dickhead.

Minstrel27

Ryan06 wrote: »

Is the hazard lights being a thanks button an Irish thing I wonder, like the clapping when the plane lands?

Clapping on a plane isn't exclusive to Irish people.

darlett

Minstrel27 wrote: »

Clapping on a plane isn't exclusive to Irish people.

I thought it was mostly an american thing which we only ever aped in a sarcastic manner to highlight the absurdity of supposedly having our expectations exceeded by not crashing. I never thought it was an Irish thing.

But the question about the hazards still remains...is it at all international? The first time I received the hazards for letting someone out at a busy junction I nearly flipped. I thought the implication was that I was a hazard driver in the opinion of the driver Id let go. Luckily I had a passenger explain that this was a simple courtesy.

hondasam

darlett wrote: »

But the question about the hazards still remains...is it at all international? The first time I received the hazards for letting someone out at a busy junction I nearly flipped. I thought the implication was that I was a hazard driver in the opinion of the driver Id let go. Luckily I had a passenger explain that this was a simple courtesy.

I dunno if it's an international thing, same if you move over to let someone pass you they flash the hazards as a thank you and you flash your lights to acknowledge it.

Dostoevsky

dj jarvis wrote: »

that is the bit i dont get - how do you get pleasure from being something most people dislike ?
strange to me - who would actively befriend a asshole ?
why would you want to be a asshole - it has no benefits

Because it's easier for their ego if they reject other people before they are rejected by them?

Mountainlad

I do agree generally with what you're saying OP, though I do have some qualms about people feeling entitled to be thanked for doing something they're obliged to do.

Example:

I crosse the road at a pedestrian crossing one day, a car full of young lads stopped. I sometimes do salute people for stopping just out of habit I guess from saluting passing cars when I'd be walking at home, but didn't this time. One of them shouted back sarcastically as they passed 'Your welcome'. I'm sorry but I don't have to thank people for obeying the law, like I'm not gonna thank people for putting stuff in the bin instead of throwing it on the ground.

I recognise that is not what you're saying though, just some people are like that.

cloptrop

hondasam wrote: »

I dunno if it's an international thing, same if you move over to let someone pass you they flash the hazards as a thank you and you flash your lights to acknowledge it.

Maybe they are just busy concentrating on the road and not your feelings

jethro081

WoollyRedHat wrote: »

Chivalry is dead, it's with O'Leary in the grave

If I hold the door for someone, it's not hard to say thanks. One word, an excelling of air, I mean really.

jaysus, o leary's grave must be pretty full at this stage. after the "all the irish have left" thread o leary seems to be having a party in there, with a wide array of weird things and concepts.

fair play to him i say, more power to his elbow.

hondasam

cloptrop wrote: »

Maybe they are just busy concentrating on the road and not your feelings

Maybe they are I dunno, I never mentioned my feelings or that it annoyed me.

Spread

Do it if you want to do it. But the true altruist won't need a thank you for his/her actions. Neither would a true altruist try to make everyone else thank you whores.

shampoosuicide

if this kind of stuff bothers you, you need to get a life

RobbingBandit

Tell the group,do you like the smell of your own farts?

shampoosuicide

Diabhal Beag wrote: »

When you do a nice thing for somebody you don't do it to feel good, you just want to know you did something nice that was appreciated by somebody who you hope would do the same in return. You don't want to think you did a good deed that wasted on a dickhead.

:') jesus christ

cofy

dj jarvis wrote: »

so , you know the score , you hold open the door , allow them out in traffic , you say good day or thank you and ........ zilch nada nothing

is it just me or i this just rude and bad manners ? or is it me being 2 sensitive ?

bugs the crap out of me

I just read the op, if being nice is who you are, why does it matter if people thank you or not.

shampoosuicide

dj jarvis wrote: »

nothing of the sort - i find being mannerly and courteous a big plus in life , takes NO effort and spreads the good vibe to the masses

my point was why do some people just ignore this gesture , it takes no effort to respond , not that i REALLY care if i get one or not
it has nothing to do with ego stroking or the like

why would you not respond in kind when somebody obviously went out of their way to be nice to you - not looking for thanks - just don't get it

i definitely DON'T get offended - i just wonder why

"not that i REALLY care if i get one or not "

but you obviously, obviously do

Izymunz

antodeco wrote: »

Or the people who don't bother taking the door off you as you hold it. I'm not a bloody doorman! If you time it right, you can let go and give a side of the door to the face!

Brilliant could not agree more , always happens to me !!
It is ludicrous people should at least have the courtesy to hold the door for themselves if they are the 20th person I am holding the door for!! it drives me insane... very good point...

EarlERizer

Ryan06 wrote: »

I agree. Especially the traffic one, it doesn't take much for someone to give a quick press of the hazard lights to say thanks. When I let someone out and they don't say thanks it makes me wish I could turn time back a few seconds like the prince of persia and not let them out. Is the hazard lights being a thanks button an Irish thing I wonder, like the clapping when the plane lands?

I never got that,I mean I've never heard anyone clap for the bus driver,I've never felt the need to clap for a taxi driver a simple "thanks" is appreciation enough.......mind you I travel Ryanair (to UK and back) and you never hear clapping on their flights,most probably because the passengers (like me) are gripping the arm rests as the plane comes in to land! They land them things like skimming stones!

Back on topic, I think rudeness & bad manners are all too common these days,it galls me when someone hasn't got the decency to say thanks or give an appreciative blink of the hazards or a little wave but it will never put me off doing something like holding a door open,giving up a seat,letting a car out or whatever,I was brought up to understand that good manners & politeness are about me as a person and that makes me feel good!

dj jarvis

shampoosuicide wrote: »

"not that i REALLY care if i get one or not "

but you obviously, obviously do

i think you are confusing me asking a question on the subject ( courtesy ) with me fuming with rage every time a old biddy grunts at me after i hold a door open

i dont fume - 99% it washes over me - if you read the OP you will see i was asking people what they think of that situation -

so again i shall say - its not ego stroking , rage , hate , anger at society , misogyny or anything else you can think of

like i have said many times i wonder why people WANT to be pricks ,
JUST ASKING THE QUESTION

but thanks for the psychoanalysis anyway

dj jarvis

shampoosuicide wrote: »

if this kind of stuff bothers you, you need to get a life

so you dont have something that rubs you up the wrong way that others might look upon as pointless and trivial ???

read the thread - i have said many many times its a question to the masses
about courtesy , nothing more

and from the vast amount of respondents it looks like it bugs many people

and in fairness i have a life , and its ****"ing amazing :-)

shampoosuicide

dj jarvis wrote: »

i think you are confusing me asking a question on the subject ( courtesy ) with me fuming with rage every time a old biddy grunts at me after i hold a door open

i dont fume - 99% it washes over me - if you read the OP you will see i was asking people what they think of that situation -

so again i shall say - its not ego stroking , rage , hate , anger at society , misogyny or anything else you can think of

like i have said many times i wonder why people WANT to be pricks ,
JUST ASKING THE QUESTION

but thanks for the psychoanalysis anyway

ok then.

maybe they're in a bad mood? maybe they're depressed? if i was depressed i probably wouldn't give much of a toss for social niceties.

why do people want to be pricks, i mean really? fair enough you're admitting it's trivial but does the omission of a token gesture really make someone a prick?

lividduck

If you only do nice things to get thanked, then they are not nice things, they are selfish things, personally i would say the dickhead is the one seeking thanks all the time.

dj jarvis

shampoosuicide wrote: »

ok then.

maybe they're in a bad mood? maybe they're depressed? if i was depressed i probably wouldn't give much of a toss for social niceties.

why do people want to be pricks, i mean really? fair enough you're admitting it's trivial but does the omission of a token gesture really make someone a prick?

in my opinion it does - i have been in rotten form for what ever reason , have still treated people with courtesy and respect , not other peoples fault if im not on form - and in fairness someone being randomly kind to me has cheered me up and snapped me out of my foul humor - so its a win win for all concerned

you see i think your missing the point , its not a TOKEN gesture - its a genuine gesture of kindness to ones fellow man - nothing to do with being a thanks whore - it is a purely friendly act

its not something i dwell on - it seldom bothers me but when it happens it does bug me , am i bad person for wondering why some people are like that ?
some posters are trying to make out that im shallow or consumed by this for asking this question, when in fact i just think they dont understand the point im making

you make the point that if you were in bad form you would not bother with social niceties - well someone with a true understanding of courtesy would not let that stop them - your issue is yours , no point projecting it onto someone else

that is how i was raised - and has done me no wrong so far

WindSock

I quite enjoy when there are 2 sets of doors though and you hold one open, no acknowledgement so let the next set bang in their faces

Scruffles

that is how i was raised - and has done me no wrong so far

it is the traditional approach to manners/being mannerly.
people shoud not expect something as if they are entitled to it,they shoud be greatful and show it by thanking.
but....this also goes for the person who did the deed [whatever it is] to-dont expect thanks as if its an entitlement,the other person clearly has a manners problem if they just expect someone to hold doors for them without acknowledging it.

the modern approach to manners is very self centred,and more about the individual and what they can recieve,not what they can do for others-like traditional oldskool manners.
being greatful for small things is a rareity nowdays to,its all expected.

Doyler92

We got a real life thank whore here.

Gingernuts31

WindSock wrote: »

I quite enjoy when there are 2 sets of doors though and you hold one open, no acknowledgement so let the next set bang in their faces

I did that before to someone lucky for them they were an inch away from it busting their nose.

Gingernuts31

I work in a garage and if im out on the forecourt or coming back into the shop and there is a customer behind me behind me or coming out of shop il hold open the door or push it open for them. Most say thanks but the ones that don't are usually grumpy fcukers at the till. It really does cost nothing to waste a breath to say thanks even if your in a bad humor just one word but its too much for some people.

dj jarvis

Doyler92 wrote: »

We got a real life thank whore here.

so you obviously did not read the thread then.......
it has been pointed out multiple times that it has very little to do with LOOKING for thanks ...... more a question of why would you not return the favor - it being common courtesy

i look for nothing by doing good deeds - is it not what we are supposed to do?


if i want thanks like some thanks whores on AH ill start a traveler/polish people /immigration/ public workers thread

Big Nasty

It's nice to be nice and if someone is nice to you be good enough to be nice in return. If not you're a bit of a cock IMO.