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Creative Discipline

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  • 03-03-2012 9:43am
    #1
    Rosy Posy
    Closed Accounts Posts: 1,666 ✭✭✭


    Sorry if this has been done before, but I thought it would be good to have a thread for ideas of how to encourage cooperation/compliance without resorting to shouting or worse (which I find in any case just gets everyone upset without changing the behaviour). I got this one from a parenting magazine and was amazed at how quick and effective it is at getting my 3 and 5 year old to tidy up their toys.

    'The Sunday Box'

    The rule is that they tidy away each game before they move on to the next thing. Whatever is left out is put into 'The Sunday Box' which is kept somewhere they can't get at and taken out on Sunday for 15mins (in which time they get to see all the stuff they've lost over the week) and they can each choose one thing to get back.

    I couldn't believe how fast it took them to catch on- I made sure that I had their full attention when I was explaining at the beginning, and I give them a few warnings ('when I finish putting away the washing I'll be coming round with the Sunday Box').

    Obviously this is a good one for quite small kids but I'd love to hear of any other tried and tested tricks from parents of children of all ages...


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    #2
    CrazyRabbit
    Registered Users Posts: 8,659 ✭✭✭CrazyRabbit


    Went down to Bray during the good weather last year. As soon as we got the arcade, the 8 year old starting acting up....running off on his own, and ignoring us. And he was downright grumpy as well.

    So...took him over to a quiet corner and told him that the behaviour was not acceptable and why. Made it clear that if he continued, we would go straight home. I also told him that if there was something he wanted to see/do, he could ask and we'd made sure that we got around to it.

    He didn't change his behaviour/attitude so we simply took him by the hand and went home via the train. We ignored his pleas of 'I'm Sorry' and continued. We didn't speak to him, but my friend and I talked of our disappointment at missing our day out, and having to go home so early etc. Listed all the fun things we had wanted to do etc.

    It was never discussed directly with him again...so he didn't have any chance to direct his anger at us. By not saying/doing anything else I think it made him think more about his behaviour.

    We went back a few weeks later and his behaviour was totally changed. On the odd occasion now where he does get over excited and runs off, we just say "Remember what happens if you keep running off", and he calms down.

    I guess the 'trick' to this is that sometimes saying less is better. Set rules and consequences for breaking then, then follow through on any punishment without any further discussion.

    Not sure if this is considered creative, but it works.


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    #3
    dudmis
    Registered Users Posts: 191 ✭✭dudmis


    I set the alarm on my mobile phone to indicate when it is time for us to leave somewhere that the kids are enjoying. This has worked really well at stopping the complete meltdowns (by my 2 yr) we used to have when we were leaving the park.

    I also use the stop watch on my phone to set the time that each of my boys gets with a toy when they are having trouble sharing.

    (great thread btw)


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    #4
    Rosy Posy
    Closed Accounts Posts: 1,666 ✭✭✭Rosy Posy


    CrazyRabbit wrote: »
    I guess the 'trick' to this is that sometimes saying less is better. Set rules and consequences for breaking then, then follow through on any punishment without any further discussion.

    I definitely agree with this. I think that when you get into the habit of repeating yourself your words have less effect. If the kids get to know that you will say something once and if they don't comply there will be a consequence they're more likely to listen rather than just letting the words wash over them. I do wish that they would do as they're asked without having to resort to threats and bribes though. My (five year old) son has started turning this back on us and trying to negotiate everything. Its quite annoying but I suppose it shows he is starting to think for himself a bit more...


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    #5
    LegacyUser
    Registered Users Posts: 166,026 ✭✭✭✭LegacyUser


    Toddlers and little kids get very engrossed in their activities, so a technique I like is to give countdowns to when change is going to happen. So, if they are playing and it's coming up to bathtime, it's frustrating for them to be whisked away from their activity with no warning, so I let them know ten mins in advance, then five mins then three mins and also explain what that means. So "it's ten minutes till bath time. This means, you've got time for ten more piggy back rides with daddy", then "it's five minutes till bath time. This means you've got time to build five more lego towers" and so on.

    With our toddler, I also explain - "we need to change the nappy soon", then "when momma gets back from the bathroom, we will change the nappy" so that there are no tears and tantrums when we take him away from his activity to change his nappy.

    I always imagine what it would be like for me if I was working intently at my desk and someone just comes in and whisks me away for a toilet break - I'd be annoyed at being interrupted!!


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