Weekend Drinking = Alcoholic

partyatmygaff

Sounds a lot like alcoholism to me. Your partner is right for nagging you, she's trying to stop you from killing yourself.

grindle

M cebee wrote: »

the effect on kids and partner are primary concern

Plus, the equivalent of two bottles of vodka over two days... I'm considered a heavy drinker by everyone I know, but that shït's saved for events like weddings, stags, events or holidays.

zef

al28283 wrote: »

He didn't mention kids

He did. says he plays COD with them when having a few, a few pages back.

weisses

luckyfrank wrote: »

12 cans of bulmers light spread throught the day

Onslow finally made it to boards

Crea

You drink throughout the day all weekend. You're drinking in front of the kids and while playing with the kids. Your partner is right to nag you. I would have you out the door for being such a crap role model to the kids and for teaching them appalling drinking habits. You might think 12 cans over a day is nothing for 2 days every weekend but any normal person would think it's a large amount.

Cut down on the drinking, only drink when the kids are in bed. Maybe go out with the wife every now and again.

jluv

Devils advocate... Guy goes to bar at weekend and spends €60 each night or he decides to stay home and have a few,cost €15,Does not get narky,spends time with his kids....alcoholism...a little harsh I think..

M cebee

jluv wrote: »

Devils advocate... Guy goes to bar at weekend and spends €60 each night or he decides to stay home and have a few,cost €15,Does not get narky,spends time with his kids....alcoholism...a little harsh I think..

you paint a pretty picture

0066ad

partyatmygaff wrote: »

Sounds a lot like alcoholism to me. Your partner is right for nagging you, she's trying to stop you from killing yourself.

You have no idea what alcoholism is, if you think this guy is an alcoholic, he is going to work tomorrow morning to provide for his family in a job he probably hates "just a guess" the whole week sober and just because he likes a few saturday night with the wife and sunday to watch the football. Thats not alcoholism.


Lol just seen your boards name is party at my gaff oh the irony

Crea

It's not a few with the wife though - it's quite alot during the day in front of the kids. That is not OK.

luckyfrank

I dont know ? on me 12th plus one in the pub i feel good, drunk but good, after readin the posts i feel like a raging alcoholic

Some of you guys have issues

ItsAWindUp

You habitually binge drink in front of your kids and don't see a problem? Really?

mikemac1

The OP is getting a right hard time here

He's holding down a full time job and supporting his family. Ok, big deal says you.
But what's a few drinks over the weekend? Twelve over a long number of hours

Would it be better if he disappeared to the pub all day to watch football and fell home later and crashed into bed?

luckyfrank

ItsAWindUp wrote: »

You habitually binge drink in front of your kids and don't see a problem? Really?

kids are in bed since 8, f-off to everyone with the kids thing everyone here is holier than thou, my kids have everything

jluv

No Not a pretty picture..What i'm trying to say is someone who can afford to spend a lot of money and go out all weekend verus a guy who has little to spend and HAS to buy a few beers to have at home.The OP states he does not drink during the week so I "Think" we can rule out alcoholism. I actually think the problem is that his partner just didn't think he would want to do this(or maybe did this always and she wants him to stop).

Frank Black

mikemac1 wrote: »

Would it be better if he disappeared to the pub all day to watch football and fell home later and crashed into bed?

no, but that's hardly the point.


12 cans for a 'normal' weekend day is far from normal.

bfocusd

Are you happy at home op?
If you can work all week without any drinking or problems mentioned, is it the fact of staying in with your family on weekends that urges you to drink throughout the day?

It's fair, having a few in the night, how many you drink is irrelevant to what im saying, it's the timing of your drinking, do you find it difficult to spend the entire day at home without having a drink?

Maybe you should try and occupy yourself with other activities over the weekend, even an hour in the park with your kids, play football with your lad, then in the night chill out with the wife.

Your children will much appreciate the time you spend together, I've had a family member be very similar with alcohol, I didn't see that person after I was 12, I remember nothing of them except they drank tennants..

Im not saying your kids will remember the same, but you wont have this time again to enjoy with them, make the most of what your life is.

grindle

Crea wrote: »

It's not a few with the wife though - it's quite alot during the day in front of the kids. That is not OK.

Yeah, I don't get the whole "don't drink in front of kids" thing people are latching onto. It's the quantity that makes me think "Well, it's not Christmas, this is every weekend".
A lot of people seem to think having a drink in front of kids is verboten. That's just a cultural backwardness that's showing. It's the amount. Having twelve cans is manageable, sure - more if you're pushing the boat out... but in a relaxing, "having' a few cans" sense? How is that even relaxing? You must be twisted (drunk), surely?
A bottle of vodka!!! That's huge!
Do-able, yes, but a large amount twice a week, never mind twice within two days.

luckyfrank

black francis wrote: »

no, but that's hardly the point.


12 cans for a 'normal' weekend day is far from normal.

12 cans is normal for me, seriously id eat **** and piss in between i take my time, plus i dont touch shorts or wine

opinion guy

luckyfrank wrote: »

Well once i drank all the water in the sea and swam all the way to italy but thats another story, i can drink 12 get up 2moro and function, little bit bitchy other boardsies, he is without sin cast the first stone, im a good guy i like my few drinks at the weekend, my mates are out all night most weekends and i know they arent faithful, and here's me a family man getting s/hit for a having a few at the weekend

Something not right there

12 cans!
That's almost 24 units in a day. Do you know the healthy upper limit for a man to drink in a week is 21 units ? Its also worse for you to binge drink as you do. You do this 2 days a week every week. You are drinking twice the weekly limit in a weekend - almost 48 units.

You need to face up to 2 things.
You have an alcohol dependency.
You are putting your health at risk

Learn more here:
http://www.drinkaware.co.uk/alcohol-and-you/health/how-much-is-too-much

Now to be blunt - you can be a whiny little bitch about it and argue with us and disagree all you want. But those are the facts of the situation. Man up and deal with it.

You came here for a reason - and it probably wasn't that your wife was annoying you it was probably because you were wondering did she have a point. She does. Think of your kids - you want to be there for them as they get older don't you? Face up to your problem before your liver gives up on you.

luckyfrank

bfocusd wrote: »

Are you happy at home op?
If you can work all week without any drinking or problems mentioned, is it the fact of staying in with your family on weekends that urges you to drink throughout the day?

It's fair, having a few in the night, how many you drink is irrelevant to what im saying, it's the timing of your drinking, do you find it difficult to spend the entire day at home without having a drink?

Maybe you should try and occupy yourself with other activities over the weekend, even an hour in the park with your kids, play football with your lad, then in the night chill out with the wife.

Your children will much appreciate the time you spend together, I've had a family member be very similar with alcohol, I didn't see that person after I was 12, I remember nothing of them except they drank tennants..

Im not saying your kids will remember the same, but you wont have this time again to enjoy with them, make the most of what your life is.

Im more than happy i love my life i love my family

Frank Black

luckyfrank wrote: »

12 cans is normal for me, seriously id eat **** and piss in between i take my time, plus i dont touch shorts or wine

yeah, well that might be the problem.

How much time do you take exactly? Are you drinking from early afternoon or late in the evening.

Seems like a lot.

mixed up

If you only drink 12 cans then your not an alcoholic.I can't understand why women have to be so angry over a man going for a few pints

luckyfrank

opinion guy wrote: »

12 cans!
That's almost 24 units in a day. Do you know the healthy upper limit for a man to drink in a week is 21 units ? Its also worse for you to binge drink as you do. You do this 2 days a week every week. You are drinking twice the weekly limit in a weekend - almost 48 units.

You need to face up to 2 things.
You have an alcohol dependency.
You are putting your health at risk

Learn more here:
http://www.drinkaware.co.uk/alcohol-and-you/health/how-much-is-too-much

Now to be blunt - you can be a whiny little bitch about it and argue with us and disagree all you want. But those are the facts of the situation. Man up and deal with it.

You came here for a reason - and it probably wasn't that your wife was annoying you it was probably because you were wondering did she have a point. She does. Think of your kids - you want to be there for them as they get older don't you? Face up to your problem before your liver gives up on you.

I accept the health point i am f/ucking with my health i do binge every weekend but i am not an alcoholic cos i choose to drink i dont need to drink

bfocusd

luckyfrank wrote: »

Im more than happy i love my life i love my family

Cool, I thought I'd ask as some people are under a lot of pressure and sometimes cant cope around family.

what about days your off work, bank holidays in particular, how would you spend your time then?

Has your father had a problem with drink since you were young?

starbelgrade

luckyfrank wrote: »

12 cans is normal for me, seriously id eat **** and piss in between i take my time, plus i dont touch shorts or wine

Be a fucking man, admit you have a drink problem & do something about it. If you don't think that your wife & kids deserve better than to have a father who sloshes his weekends away at home rather than act like a grown up, then there is truly something wrong with you.

If you keep drinking like that & soon enough you'll turn into a fat, bloated, ugly wreck, with a fucked up liver and no wife or kids.

And when you look around your empty house, I doubt you'll sit back & think it was worth it just for the sake of having your weekend dose of 12 cans of mouldy cider lite.

M cebee

luckyfrank wrote: »

black francis wrote: »

no, but that's hardly the point.


12 cans for a 'normal' weekend day is far from normal.

12 cans is normal for me, seriously id eat **** and piss in between i take my time, plus i dont touch shorts or wine

its not a big drink over a day

but your actions are selfish and unacceptable

face facts anyway first

starbelgrade

luckyfrank wrote: »

I accept the health point i am f/ucking with my health i do binge every weekend but i am not an alcoholic cos i choose to drink i dont need to drink

Spoken like a true alco.

Frank Black

luckyfrank wrote: »

I accept the health point i am f/ucking with my health i do binge every weekend but i am not an alcoholic cos i choose to drink i dont need to drink

well choose not to for a few months so.

If you can, then come back and tell us you're not an alcoholic, if you can't, then maybe you have a problem.

mikemac1

grindle wrote: »

You must be twisted (drunk), surely?

Tolerences go up
Twelve cans over a number of hours would not get an experienced drinker twisted drunk.

partyatmygaff

0066ad wrote: »

You have no idea what alcoholism is, if you think this guy is an alcoholic, he is going to work tomorrow morning to provide for his family in a job he probably hates "just a guess" the whole week sober and just because he likes a few saturday night with the wife and sunday to watch the football. Thats not alcoholism.`

All that alcoholism is is dependance on alcohol. If a man drinks 24 cans of cider every single weekend to relax (or for any reason at all) they're dependent on alcohol and are drinking in huge excess.

Lol just seen your boards name is party at my gaff oh the irony

Irony? There is no irony. The joke is on you, the person who (Like so many else) finds it impossible to dissociate having a good time from drinking.

luckyfrank wrote: »

Im more than happy i love my life i love my family

If you really love your life, take it down a notch with the drinking.

opinion guy

luckyfrank wrote: »

I accept the health point i am f/ucking with my health i do binge every weekend but i am not an alcoholic cos i choose to drink i dont need to drink

So what are we talking about then ?
If you don't need to drink then don't drink and problem solved your wife won't be annoying you. I mean if you don't need to drink that should be no problem right ?

Aodan83

Has it at any point occurred to you that lots of other people with children work all week, enjoy a few drinks at the weekend, but still don't drink all day in front of their children!? No matter what you say it's not normal behaviour. I know you say that you don't get very drunk, just happy, but alcohol always has a greater effect on you than you realise. If anything ever happens to one of your children while in your care, your drinking WILL be considered a factor.
I'm sure you do spend time with your children, but chances are they are aware that when you do you are often drunk. They would probably much prefer that their father was in full control of all his faculties when he was with them. If you're not going to consider giving up drinking because your wife is nagging you, or for your own health, at least do it to set a better example for your own children. Judging by the post you made about your father having alcoholism its an example you never had!

jluv

starbelgrade wrote: »

Be a fucking man, admit you have a drink problem & do something about it. If you don't think that your wife & kids deserve better than to have a father who sloshes his weekends away at home rather than act like a grown up, then there is truly something wrong with you.

If you keep drinking like that & soon enough you'll turn into a fat, bloated, ugly wreck, with a fucked up liver and no wife or kids.

And when you look around your empty house, I doubt you'll sit back & think it was worth it just for the sake of having your weekend dose of 12 cans of mouldy cider lite.

I really hope you are perfect cos that was harsh..

hattoncracker

Luckyfrank, I come from a family of alcoholics.. You are in the early stages of alcoholism.. The quicker you get past the denial stage the better it will be for you..

Facts I've gathered so far:

You came on here to get advice because your wife is nagging you over your alcohol.
You completely dismiss all opposing opinions on your drinking habits.
You can drink 12 cans in one day.
You play with your kids while drunk.
After all that, you come on here while drunk and start typing the odds.

For your own sake, get some help. Im not attacking you, but you need to accept that this is not healthy for you, and your kids will remember it when they're older. Help yourself out here.

grindle

luckyfrank wrote: »

...i dont touch shorts or wine

?
Not sure why those matter.
Have twelve shots of vodka w/mixer over a day. 40% less alcohol. You'll have decreased your chances of liver damage and heart disease (which your wife might be pissed off about/worried your kids won't know you), you'll be less pissed, have less of a hangover, feel fitter within a week or two, and your wife should act like less of a gowl toward you.
Trust me, I'm not like some of the nambies here, I'm fond of a drink and believe you can have that amount to drink and not be fücking yourself over (overtly), but if you have certain responsibilities, go for a balance. When you have some 'me time', go overboard.
The best thing about hanging back is your tolerance lowers, which means less money spent and wasted. I used to think nothing of throwing a bottle of spirits down my neck, and now a (little over a) half does me fine, unless I'm going for gold (which has it's place).

jluv

starbelgrade wrote: »

Spoken like a true alco.

I don't think any of you know the true meaning of an alcoholic. So stop using the word until you do.The OP may have a problem with alcohol but he IS NOT an alcohic.There is a difference and you actually can offend those of us who are dealing with "REAL" alcoholics.Don't use the word unless you mean it..

phoenix0250

Alcoholics go to meetings, Drunks go to parties!

mikemac1

Nothing wrong with a few drinks at the weekend

But when you give the alcohol a break your sleep improves. By that I mean it's a deep refreshing sleep

Yeah alcohol can make you drowsy and you mentioned falling asleep in the evenings but it's light and disturbed and you'll wake up easily and feel awful

You're a working man, you work hard to support your family so have a good rest for yourself this weekend and see how you get on

jluv

partyatmygaff wrote: »

All that alcoholism is is dependance on alcohol. If a man drinks 24 cans of cider every single weekend to relax (or for any reason at all) they're dependent on alcohol and are drinking in huge excess.

Irony? There is no irony. The joke is on you, the person who (Like so many else) finds it impossible to dissociate having a good time from drinking.

If you really love your life, take it down a notch with the drinking.

Take`it from me. you have never known an alcohlic..

wonderfulname

grindle wrote: »

?
Not sure why those matter.

It doesn't, in fact I'd be inclined to argue that bulmers is about the worst drink you could subject your body to outside of alcopops per unit of alcohol. OP obviously wrongly associates higher percentages with alcoholism.

OP, if you don't need to drink, then don't drink, take your kids to the park or the zoo or something this coming saturday, sure if you don't have a problem, it won't be a problem, and the wife will be well impressed.

Jess16

starbelgrade wrote: »

Be a fucking man, admit you have a drink problem & do something about it. If you don't think that your wife & kids deserve better than to have a father who sloshes his weekends away at home rather than act like a grown up, then there is truly something wrong with you.

If you keep drinking like that & soon enough you'll turn into a fat, bloated, ugly wreck, with a fucked up liver and no wife or kids.

And when you look around your empty house, I doubt you'll sit back & think it was worth it just for the sake of having your weekend dose of 12 cans of mouldy cider lite.

Was that supposed to be helpful? Because I'm practically teetotal but that kind of condescending attitude would drive anyone to drink

jluv

starbelgrade wrote: »

Spoken like a true alco.

Do yoju know what atrue alco is? Have you lived witb one? have you dealt with one?

Deus Ex Machina

Op, I don't intend to make any accusation by stating the following (although I do have suspicions). In my experience, both personal and that gathered by observing those around me, it can actually be very difficult to acknowledge one's own alcoholism. The funny thing about it is that, initially at least, it isn't even denial as such, it's just that the person concerned simply doesn't know that they are an alcoholic, despite their copious drinking. Such a condition of ignorance is more common than you might think.

Before I realised that I am an alcoholic I was already drinking to such an extent that an outside observer would have diagnosed me within minutes, but I genuinely, honestly didn't realise or understand the extent of the problem.

My day's drinking began when I woke, with a read, a morning coffee and a bottle of whiskey on the side, jus' for sippin'. I would finish my morning routine with an empty coffee press and a dry 700 ml whiskey bottle. As the day went on I would keep myself topped up somewhere around the "heavily buzzed" territory with another bottle or two of whiskey, metered out in shorts and hip flasks. In the evening I would recline, eat dinner and relax with several bottles of wine.

I may not be the sharpest tool in the box, but my inability to tally the quantity of bottles I was going through seems to transcend mere stupidity. It is also something I have seen in alcoholic (and drug addicted) friends, this astonishing inability to actually quantify one's consumption. It wasn't until I started finding stacks of empty bottles stuffed in the drawers of my desk, in my cupboards and closets, that the possibility of alcoholism first occurred to me. From then on it was a matter of assessing my daily routine. As weird as it sounds, I was genuinely amazed when it added up to something like 2 litres of whiskey and three or even four bottles of wine. To me it was as if a light switch was flicked, from normal to alcoholic that very second.

I don't claim to understand your situation or psyche, but I would advise that you make an effort to assess your drinking as objectively as possible. You may be surprised by what you find.

partyatmygaff

jluv wrote: »

Take`it from me. you have never known an alcohlic..

Take what from you? I've seen many alcoholics before. Just because you have a different definition of alcoholism to the rest of the world doesn't make it right.

Drinking 24 cans of cider every single weekend is alcoholism. Perhaps not the worst case of alcoholism imaginable but it's still alcoholism and it can only get worse if he doesn't break the routine and lose the dependency.

cofy

OP I have a few questions to ask:

1. When you met you wife did she have a job? Did she give that up so that you could keep yours when the children came along?

2. Do you live closer to your family than hers.

3. Do you leave the pub at a reasonable time, i.e. do you have to be the last person served in the pub?

opinion guy

jluv wrote: »

I don't think any of you know the true meaning of an alcoholic. So stop using the word until you do.The OP may have a problem with alcohol but he IS NOT an alcohic.There is a difference and you actually can offend those of us who are dealing with "REAL" alcoholics.Don't use the word unless you mean it..

jluv wrote: »

Take`it from me. you have never known an alcohlic..

I'm sorry for whatever trouble it is you've been through. But recognise that because you had very bad experiences does not mean this guy doesn't have a problem. As with most things in life there are degrees of severity

Liam Byrne

jluv wrote: »

Devils advocate... Guy goes to bar at weekend and spends €60 each night or he decides to stay home and have a few,cost €15,Does not get narky,spends time with his kids....alcoholism...a little harsh I think..

Your version was almost convincing until you used the phrase in bold.

24x500ml every weekend = 12 litres of booze, aka 25 pints.

That is SERIOUSLY worrying and abnormal.

mickrock

luckyfrank wrote: »

she drinks with me on saterday,

What are your old lady's drinking habits? How many days a week and what quantities?

Suggest to her that she cuts back or quits altogether and see what her reaction is.

flanum

Liam Byrne wrote: »

Your version was almost convincing until you used the phrase in bold.

24x500ml every weekend = 12 litres of booze, aka 25 pints.

That is SERIOUSLY worrying and abnormal.

maybe in a family of pioneers!

Hank Scorpio

Hey OP,

Try give it up for a couple of weekends and see how you feel. Won't do any harm!

Don't mind all the condesending attitudes and egos in this thread. I am/was a pretty heavy drinker, drank alot more than you did regulary every week. You can't really define whats an Alcoholic/Alcoholism imo, you could be manager of a company drinking everyday and functioning, the homeless guy on the street or the local parish priest who likes a glass or 2 of wine every night! Its too broad to define. Alot of people say Alcoholics aren't capable of stopping after 1 or 2 drinks.

The problem for me started in a similar situation as yourself. ( Not saying you have a problem ) But my weekend drinking started creeping into weekdays and bit by bit increased. A few weeks ago I decided to quit and suffered some mild withdrawal, agitation, hot flashes, insomnia etc. Feeling great now though and decided to re-evaluate my life/drinking in 2 months.

It sounds like you're in control of things, best of luck whatever you decide, but watch out the for the little signs.