Weekend Drinking = Alcoholic

Jess16

starbelgrade wrote: »

Be a fucking man, admit you have a drink problem & do something about it. If you don't think that your wife & kids deserve better than to have a father who sloshes his weekends away at home rather than act like a grown up, then there is truly something wrong with you.

If you keep drinking like that & soon enough you'll turn into a fat, bloated, ugly wreck, with a fucked up liver and no wife or kids.

And when you look around your empty house, I doubt you'll sit back & think it was worth it just for the sake of having your weekend dose of 12 cans of mouldy cider lite.

Was that supposed to be helpful? Because I'm practically teetotal but that kind of condescending attitude would drive anyone to drink

jluv

starbelgrade wrote: »

Spoken like a true alco.

Do yoju know what atrue alco is? Have you lived witb one? have you dealt with one?

Deus Ex Machina

Op, I don't intend to make any accusation by stating the following (although I do have suspicions). In my experience, both personal and that gathered by observing those around me, it can actually be very difficult to acknowledge one's own alcoholism. The funny thing about it is that, initially at least, it isn't even denial as such, it's just that the person concerned simply doesn't know that they are an alcoholic, despite their copious drinking. Such a condition of ignorance is more common than you might think.

Before I realised that I am an alcoholic I was already drinking to such an extent that an outside observer would have diagnosed me within minutes, but I genuinely, honestly didn't realise or understand the extent of the problem.

My day's drinking began when I woke, with a read, a morning coffee and a bottle of whiskey on the side, jus' for sippin'. I would finish my morning routine with an empty coffee press and a dry 700 ml whiskey bottle. As the day went on I would keep myself topped up somewhere around the "heavily buzzed" territory with another bottle or two of whiskey, metered out in shorts and hip flasks. In the evening I would recline, eat dinner and relax with several bottles of wine.

I may not be the sharpest tool in the box, but my inability to tally the quantity of bottles I was going through seems to transcend mere stupidity. It is also something I have seen in alcoholic (and drug addicted) friends, this astonishing inability to actually quantify one's consumption. It wasn't until I started finding stacks of empty bottles stuffed in the drawers of my desk, in my cupboards and closets, that the possibility of alcoholism first occurred to me. From then on it was a matter of assessing my daily routine. As weird as it sounds, I was genuinely amazed when it added up to something like 2 litres of whiskey and three or even four bottles of wine. To me it was as if a light switch was flicked, from normal to alcoholic that very second.

I don't claim to understand your situation or psyche, but I would advise that you make an effort to assess your drinking as objectively as possible. You may be surprised by what you find.

partyatmygaff

jluv wrote: »

Take`it from me. you have never known an alcohlic..

Take what from you? I've seen many alcoholics before. Just because you have a different definition of alcoholism to the rest of the world doesn't make it right.

Drinking 24 cans of cider every single weekend is alcoholism. Perhaps not the worst case of alcoholism imaginable but it's still alcoholism and it can only get worse if he doesn't break the routine and lose the dependency.

cofy

OP I have a few questions to ask:

1. When you met you wife did she have a job? Did she give that up so that you could keep yours when the children came along?

2. Do you live closer to your family than hers.

3. Do you leave the pub at a reasonable time, i.e. do you have to be the last person served in the pub?

opinion guy

jluv wrote: »

I don't think any of you know the true meaning of an alcoholic. So stop using the word until you do.The OP may have a problem with alcohol but he IS NOT an alcohic.There is a difference and you actually can offend those of us who are dealing with "REAL" alcoholics.Don't use the word unless you mean it..

jluv wrote: »

Take`it from me. you have never known an alcohlic..

I'm sorry for whatever trouble it is you've been through. But recognise that because you had very bad experiences does not mean this guy doesn't have a problem. As with most things in life there are degrees of severity

Liam Byrne

jluv wrote: »

Devils advocate... Guy goes to bar at weekend and spends €60 each night or he decides to stay home and have a few,cost €15,Does not get narky,spends time with his kids....alcoholism...a little harsh I think..

Your version was almost convincing until you used the phrase in bold.

24x500ml every weekend = 12 litres of booze, aka 25 pints.

That is SERIOUSLY worrying and abnormal.

mickrock

luckyfrank wrote: »

she drinks with me on saterday,

What are your old lady's drinking habits? How many days a week and what quantities?

Suggest to her that she cuts back or quits altogether and see what her reaction is.

flanum

Liam Byrne wrote: »

Your version was almost convincing until you used the phrase in bold.

24x500ml every weekend = 12 litres of booze, aka 25 pints.

That is SERIOUSLY worrying and abnormal.

maybe in a family of pioneers!

Hank Scorpio

Hey OP,

Try give it up for a couple of weekends and see how you feel. Won't do any harm!

Don't mind all the condesending attitudes and egos in this thread. I am/was a pretty heavy drinker, drank alot more than you did regulary every week. You can't really define whats an Alcoholic/Alcoholism imo, you could be manager of a company drinking everyday and functioning, the homeless guy on the street or the local parish priest who likes a glass or 2 of wine every night! Its too broad to define. Alot of people say Alcoholics aren't capable of stopping after 1 or 2 drinks.

The problem for me started in a similar situation as yourself. ( Not saying you have a problem ) But my weekend drinking started creeping into weekdays and bit by bit increased. A few weeks ago I decided to quit and suffered some mild withdrawal, agitation, hot flashes, insomnia etc. Feeling great now though and decided to re-evaluate my life/drinking in 2 months.

It sounds like you're in control of things, best of luck whatever you decide, but watch out the for the little signs.

Liam Byrne

flanum wrote: »

Liam Byrne wrote: »

Your version was almost convincing until you used the phrase in bold.

24x500ml every weekend = 12 litres of booze, aka 25 pints.

That is SERIOUSLY worrying and abnormal.

maybe in a family of pioneers!

Ah yes.....the old bull**** AH macho bravado rears its ugly head.

No family of pioneers here and 25 pints every weekend is abnormal.

ItsAWindUp

luckyfrank wrote: »

kids are in bed since 8, f-off to everyone with the kids thing everyone here is holier than thou, my kids have everything

Easy tiger, don't get so argumentative, been on the sauce have you? Seeing as how you started the thread and you're getting so defensive I really am led to believe that you know deep down there's something not right with your drinking habits. A normal person does not drink twelve cans every saturday and every sunday without fail.

justsomebloke

luckyfrank wrote: »

my kids have everything

including an alcoholic father.

Thundercats Ho

Reading this thread has confirmed to me how much our attitude towards alcohol has changed in the last 15-20 years, and it's great to see.

OP, i don't think you're an alcoholic, but i do think you might want to take a step back and assess your drinking. Try halving the amount of alcohol you intake in a weekend (or even a Sunday to start with). As one of the other posters said, if you dont have a problem, it wont be a problem to do this.

I like a drink myself, but as they say, everything in moderation (especially moderation).

starbelgrade

jluv wrote: »

I really hope you are perfect cos that was harsh..

It was harsh, but it was also true.

Gummy Panda

starbelgrade wrote: »

jluv wrote: »

I really hope you are perfect cos that was harsh..

It was harsh, but it was also true.

Harsh but fair.

I can think of better things to spend money on then a tray of cans at the weekend.

Rocky_Dennis

jluv wrote: »

I don't think any of you know the true meaning of an alcoholic. So stop using the word until you do.The OP may have a problem with alcohol but he IS NOT an alcohic.There is a difference and you actually can offend those of us who are dealing with "REAL" alcoholics.Don't use the word unless you mean it..

Can you please define an alcoholic for me?

Correct me if I'm wrong but I would define an alcoholic as someome who has a problem with alcohol

h57xiucj2z946q

lol

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flanders1979

Willow Straight Royalty wrote: »

lol

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Well done Miss Marple.

h57xiucj2z946q

flanders1979 wrote: »

Well done Miss Marple.

your welcome.

dominiquecruz

Andrewh1984 wrote: »

Can you please define an alcoholic for me?

Correct me if I'm wrong but I would define an alcoholic as someome who has a problem with alcohol

Obviously, an alcoholic is somebody who can't hold it together - somebody who doesn't work, doesn't have any functional relationship with anybody, pukes/passes out on a regular basis, wets themselves and drinks 6 litres of whiskey a day. :rolleyes:

You're right Andrewh, alcoholism is very much a spectrum disorder. It's not just about consumption. You can drink once/twice a month and still have serious alcohol issues. Fundamentally, it's about the relationship you have with alcohol.. physical dependency generally comes later.

OP, I wouldn't call you an alcoholic - I don't know enough about you to make any kind of diagnosis, but I do think you have some bad drinking habits that could get out of control if you don't address them soon. Before even thinking of your kids or wife, do you not feel that spending your entire weekend getting slowly drunk is a waste of your time, a waste of a life even? Do you not feel terrible the morning after, the Monday mornings in work? If you really believe that you're only drinking to relax, why not find another way to relax?

I'm not on a high horse by the way; I've had my own set of alcohol-related problems in the past. Also, more positively, I have learned how to drink sensibly and now enjoy drinks at the weekend like everybody else, just not in the same destructive way as before. Keep it social, keep it night-time, and keep it moderate.

Noopti

Don't know about anyone else, but I find the rapidity with which people jump to conclusions, are willing to give physiological/medical opinions, generally accuse someone they have never met as being an alcoholic and call into question the happiness of his wife and children actually more disturbing than what the OP has said he does on a weekend.

Edit: Just read Damo2k's post....hmm, something not right there. I still stand by my above comment though.

J K

Rocky_Dennis

dominiquecruz wrote: »

Obviously, an alcoholic is somebody who can't hold it together - somebody who doesn't work, doesn't have any functional relationship with anybody, pukes/passes out on a regular basis, wets themselves and drinks 6 litres of whiskey a day. :rolleyes:

I couldn't disagree more with this if I wanted to. A realtive of mine is an alcoholic and that person still works, has a relationship with people, that person doesn't puke or pass out on a regular basis, and doesn't drink 6 litres of Whiskey a day. This is the perception people have of an alcoholic and maybe that's why so many people are in denial about their alcohol addiction and not so willing to face their demons. You don't have to be a down and out to be an alcoholic.

You don't have to be drinking 6 litres of whiskey a day, puking/passing out and so on for it to effect your life and that of the people around you.

Teyla Emmagan

Andrewh1984 wrote: »

dominiquecruz wrote: »

Obviously, an alcoholic is somebody who can't hold it together - somebody who doesn't work, doesn't have any functional relationship with anybody, pukes/passes out on a regular basis, wets themselves and drinks 6 litres of whiskey a day. :rolleyes:

I couldn't disagree more with this if I wanted to. A realtive of mine is an alcoholic and that person still works, has a relationship with people, that person doesn't puke or pass out on a regular basis, and doesn't drink 6 litres of Whiskey a day. This is the perception people have of an alcoholic and maybe that's why so many people are in denial about their alcohol addiction and not so willing to face their demons. You don't have to be a down and out to be an alcoholic.

You don't have to be drinking 6 litres of whiskey a day, puking/passing out and so on for it to effect your life and that of the people around you.

Yes, I think you may have missed the sarcasm in the original post.

whatdoicare

OP I wouldn't call you an alcoholic - what you probably would be, seeing as you're drinking 12 cans in a day over the course of two days is a "Binge drinker" which, I have learned through my paramedic brother, is just as dangerous health wise as drinking all week long and is not too much of a step from full on alcoholism.

If you do have control over your drinking at the moment and this is merely a bad habit you've gotten into, I would suggest curbing it sharpish. You have an alcoholic parent which isn't good news for your chances of not becoming one if you don't get it together soon.

If your girlfriend is starting to say something to you about it, it's obviously become a noticeable problem. Take this as a sign that whatever state you think you're in is not the state that your family are seeing in front of them. You have become defensive about your drinking to posters here aswell, which is a big sign that all is not as easy going as you'd like to believe.

It's not good for you, not good for your girlfriend and not even a little bit good for your kids.

If it's no big deal and you can stop at any time - why not give it a go the weekend coming and see how you get on? Just to see? If you physically fail, start to get a panicky feeling or you see yourself justifying/hiding/getting angry about your drinking then see that as a sign that you need to get some help from AA or similar before you're in a bad situation.

Just something to consider really.

Rocky_Dennis

Teyla Emmagan wrote: »

Andrewh1984 wrote: »

dominiquecruz wrote: »

Obviously, an alcoholic is somebody who can't hold it together - somebody who doesn't work, doesn't have any functional relationship with anybody, pukes/passes out on a regular basis, wets themselves and drinks 6 litres of whiskey a day. :rolleyes:

Yes, I think you may have missed the sarcasm in the original post.

I'm not with it today

partyatmygaff

Noopti wrote: »

Don't know about anyone else, but I find the rapidity with which people jump to conclusions, are willing to give physiological/medical opinions, generally accuse someone they have never met as being an alcoholic and call into question the happiness of his wife and children actually more disturbing than what the OP has said he does on a weekend.

If he had said "I do cocaine every single weekend to relax", what would you have concluded? Hell, if he said "I smoke 80 cigarettes every weekend to relax", what would you have concluded?

People seem to have this strange double standard when it comes to drugs. If someone is addicted to a hard drug like cocaine or even something as common as nicotine they're called an addict. If someone is addicted to alcohol, hardly anything is said until they're physically dependent on the drug.

Noopti

partyatmygaff wrote: »

If he had said "I do cocaine every single weekend to relax", what would you have concluded? Hell, if he said "I smoke 80 cigarettes every weekend to relax", what would you have concluded?

People seem to have this strange double standard when it comes to drugs. If someone is addicted to a hard drug like cocaine or even something as common as nicotine they're called an addict. If someone is addicted to alcohol, hardly anything is said until they're physically dependent on the drug.

Yeah if he said he did cocaine while watching the match on Sunday then yeah, I would not like it. But lets leave that to the "I do cocaine on a Sunday while watching the match" thread whenever that appears ok?

Also if you read my post I was not condoning his behaviour at all, I was stating that I was actually more disturbed by people (like you) who immediately jump to conclusions and make outlandish statements (just like your cocaine statement above), then I was about what he said he does on a weekend. That does not mean I condone his behaviour, but it also doesn't mean I will immediately start making assumptions about it either.

MagicSean

luckyfrank wrote: »

12 cans is normal for me, seriously id eat **** and piss in between i take my time, plus i dont touch shorts or wine

So you're not really an alcoholic, more a scobie?