Advertisement
If you have a new account but are having problems posting or verifying your account, please email us on hello@boards.ie for help. Thanks :)
Hello all! Please ensure that you are posting a new thread or question in the appropriate forum. The Feedback forum is overwhelmed with questions that are having to be moved elsewhere. If you need help to verify your account contact hello@boards.ie

When/would/should you move on.

Options
  • 06-03-2012 5:27pm
    #1
    gud4u
    Closed Accounts Posts: 369 ✭✭


    I was just wondering, is there anyone here who has been through the ttc mill and for whatever reasons, be it financial, emotional or morally has decided to just leave the family dream behind.

    We never got to try that much treatments due to finances, we have MFI and mild FFI, we have tried hormones and TI but to no avail.

    As I approach 35, I feel less hopeful, and I haven't the health to be an older mum.

    Has anyone moved on and tried to accept it may never happen, taking your life off ttc hold and start living again.

    It has left me a a little bitter and angry that I most likely won't have my own kids, but what does one do, you have to start living again at some point I guess, I think I may have forgottten though as the last 5 years have gone in a calender of cycles and TI.

    Sorry to be so down in the mouth, just wondering if anyone else feels the same.


Comments

  • Options
    #2
    barbiegirl
    Registered Users Posts: 1,846 ✭✭✭barbiegirl


    Everyone gets there. We're trying Napro next and after that, that's it we're going down the adoption route.
    But I have tried very hard not to put my life on hold. It is hard not to, and at the moment I am definitely stuck, but life is for living and I keep trying to do that.
    The sadest story I ever heard was about a work colleague of my friend who lost her husband at 41. She said her biggest regret was that they had spemt 10 years focusing on babies and TTC rather than each other, and she just wished she had him back, to do all the things they dreamed of.
    Don't get bitter, get active. Live


  • Options
    #3
    carolinespring
    Registered Users Posts: 2,166 ✭✭✭carolinespring


    I am many years down the road of trying to have a baby, We have made so many M/C's that we are well in the double figures. I am also in my late 30's. No reason for all the M/C's which makes it all the harder to live with.

    We decided in late 2010 that we would not try again afeter a M/C on New years day 2009 that went really really hard on both of us. We where sure that time it was to be .We would focus on life and our other interests. We are married 8 years and have a fantastic marrage and life together. We felt at peace when we decided that was it but I fell again (unplanned) and we hoped and prayed that this time would be our lucky time, after all baba as not planned and it looked for a while that it was going to be our time but alas not. We had another M/c and to be honest it really knocked me. I didnt not feel myself until the due date had come and gone. I still feel sad that it was not our turn. I find it hard to be around friends who are expecting. I am happy and trilled for them but the "when will it be us" pops into my head and I have to remind myself that I want our baby and I still want to be part of my friends life so I have to deal with it.

    I have really good positive days and days when I feel really low and that motherhood is just a dream that I will never get to experience.

    Since the last M/C we have decided that we are going to give it one last go. At the end of the day we have had such heartbreak, are still standing and are still together and as close as can be that we feel we owe it to each other and ourself to give it one last try. In years to come if we don't we could find ourself looking back and wishing we we had given it that last try.

    Of course I am stressed and worried about going again and am trying to get to a place that feels like the right time and also to get my body in some kind of shape to carry our much longed for baby.

    Before I fell the last time I lost a huge amount of weight but since the M/S I have piled it on with comfort eating and I am trying to deal with that first.Not doing very well but trying. I am not focusing on age and our Doctors have not made a issue of it either. Many omen have had healthy babies in late 30's/early 40's

    If the next time is not to be then that will be the end of that road, but we have started looking into adoption and if I can't give birth to my child with my own body it will be born out of love in our hearts if our baby come to us from adoption. We will do what it takes to be Mummy and Daddy and we will be the best parets we can.


Advertisement