Reduce Dole Numbers

eyescreamcone

The social welfare bill is a big minus on the countrys books at the moment.
We should try novel ways of reducing this valueless expense.

I would suggest offering anyone who has been unemployed for more than six months a lump sum equal to six months dole.
In return they could not claim again for a length of time 3 or 5 years.

This money could be used to set up a small business or emigrate even.

I wouldn't make it compulsory because we have to look after the total scroungers who can't/won't help themselves.

Ghandee

Ok...............

Deus Ex Machina

I think we can all agree that your idea would work in every situation without a single exception.

eth0

Blah blah dole scroungers

Move in with your parents and pay them rent

If you're not living off 19c tins of baked beans you're not sturggling

People on the dole don't need gas or electricity or bank accounts

Man up and pay the household charge

Let sick people rot and die to save money

Don't bother looking for missing fishermen, helicopter is too costly to run

and so on..

MrStuffins

With thinking like that you should go into politics! You'll fit right in in The Dail!

Those clowns don't have aclue what they're on about either!

WindSock

Sounds like a plan. Give me the lump sum so I can fuck off and bum around Asia for a while please.

Sonics2k

Yup, that'll work grand.

eyescreamcone

Deus Ex Machina wrote: »

I think we can all agree that your idea would work in every situation without a single exception.

It would remain an option and could reduce the bill.
Where is the downside??

RichieC

burn it all fking down!!11

Spunge

Get 5k euro from the government
Hop on a plane to canada or australia
Have a bit of a holiday then start a new life
awesome.

IncognitoMan

I tell ya what OP if you give me the equal of 6 months dole I promise you I wont sign on for 3 years. Deal?

Sindri

I say we round them up into Summer camps and gas them.

eyescreamcone

WindSock wrote: »

Sounds like a plan. Give me the lump sum so I can fuck off and bum around Asia for a while please.

Off with you!
Don't come back for at least 3 years and we'll have saved 2.5 years dole.
Thank you, you've done the state a service.
Send us a postcard

IHateMondays

eyescreamcone wrote: »

The social welfare bill is a big minus on the countrys books at the moment.
We should try novel ways of reducing this valueless expense.

I would suggest offering anyone who has been unemployed for more than six months a lump sum equal to six months dole.
In return they could not claim again for a length of time 3 or 5 years.

This money could be used to set up a small business or emigrate even.

I wouldn't make it compulsory because we have to look after the total scroungers who can't/won't help themselves.

I'd give you a lump some if I could afford to and wave you off happily for 5 years.

chrismon

Wow, another Dole bashing thread on after hours. How original.

Undercover FBI Agent

eyescreamcone wrote: »

The social welfare bill is a big minus on the countrys books at the moment.
We should try novel ways of reducing this valueless expense.

I would suggest offering anyone who has been unemployed for more than six months a lump sum equal to six months dole.
In return they could not claim again for a length of time 3 or 5 years.

This money could be used to set up a small business or emigrate even.

I wouldn't make it compulsory because we have to look after the total scroungers who can't/won't help themselves.

Health is also a big minus. So anyone that has been on meds for 6 months we will give another 6 months worth all at the one time and see if they get better.
If not............... :rolleyes:

TeddyTedson

eyescreamcone wrote: »

The social welfare bill is a big minus on the countrys books at the moment.
We should try novel ways of reducing this valueless expense.

I would suggest offering anyone who has been unemployed for more than six months a lump sum equal to six months dole.
In return they could not claim again for a length of time 3 or 5 years.

This money could be used to set up a small business or emigrate even.

I wouldn't make it compulsory because we have to look after the total scroungers who can't/won't help themselves.

You post is retarded but the idea of taking a huge numbers of people out of the country is bad for everyone. There's over 400,000 people on the dole and if 1 in 4 left this would have negative long term effects on the economy. You need to remember that a lot of their dole money is coming back to the government as tax.
Statistics show that very few people choose to be on the dole. In the good times it was at 4% which is normal for a country during good times.

Anyway, your post is a tad stupid, I hope you see that.

Joe10000

OP I think it's a good idea.

I am sure there are lots of people with business ideas that just can't get started because of a lack of capital and this could help some of them.

galwayrush

I reckon dole money goes back to the state coffers quite quickly, i doubt if too much of it ends up in savings accounts...:pac:
Perhaps it and children's allowance should be stopped for non nationals who can't get a job within a reasonable amount of time, most of their money is probably leaving the country..

eyescreamcone

Undercover FBI Agent wrote: »

eyescreamcone wrote: »

The social welfare bill is a big minus on the countrys books at the moment.
We should try novel ways of reducing this valueless expense.

I would suggest offering anyone who has been unemployed for more than six months a lump sum equal to six months dole.
In return they could not claim again for a length of time 3 or 5 years.

This money could be used to set up a small business or emigrate even.

I wouldn't make it compulsory because we have to look after the total scroungers who can't/won't help themselves.

Health is also a big minus. So anyone that has been on meds for 6 months we will give another 6 months worth all at the one time and see if they get better.
If not............... :rolleyes:

Nobody mentioned health costs did they??
Try to stay on topic please

Sindri

In fairness I think the OP may also be asking for suggestions on other ways to reduce dole numbers.

MrStuffins

eyescreamcone wrote: »

It would remain an option and could reduce the bill.
Where is the downside??

There's always a downside when people come up with "ideas" like yours are there isn't even a hint of sarcasm or a joke!

micropig

Eat them?

cheap food for all and dole numbers cut..win-win

Ellis Dee

WindSock wrote: »

Sounds like a plan. Give me the lump sum so I can fuck off and bum around Asia for a while please.

I agree with your sentiment, but not your exact choice of words. Rather than fucking off and bumming around Asia, why not just leave and spend a few months travelling around, seeing new things and perhaps learning, developing ideas and eventually returning to Ireland less narrow-minded, more appreciative of cultural diversity and perhaps with an idea or two that one could then use to generate a job for onerself and perhaps for others?:D

The reality is that many, many people who are now on the dole have little realistic chance of finding a job in Ireland any time in the near future. Some will leave to seek work abroad, and many of them will never return. Others will stay on the dole here and try to stick it out in the hope that the employment situation will improve. Many of them have the education and skills that will be needed when hiring begins again.:)

In the meantime, I see no reason why they shouldn't be able to do a deal with the State under which they will be able to continue drawing their dole for, say, 3,6 or 12 months while they spend the time in countries like India where their meagre dole (perhaps 50-75% of what they would get if they stayed in Ireland) would suffice well and they would continue to develop rather than just vegetate. It would also bring considerable intangible benefits in the form of a reduction of the ignorance that leads to xenophobia and racism, foster an appreciation of the value of multiculturalism, and - no insignificant thing - let a lot of Irish people see what real hardship is all about when they witness it in the Third World. They would moan less in Ireland when they came back. That's for sure.:cool:

zef

How about Euthanasia for the long-term unemployed?
That might save you a few quid in your tax bill. Or something.

eyescreamcone

Interesting comments
Not too many picked holes in this plan tho
An optional scheme to reduce the bill is ridiculed

Deus Ex Machina

eyescreamcone wrote: »

It would remain an option and could reduce the bill.
Where is the downside??

Because there are people stupid enough to literally spend every cent of the lump sum on big dick pills within twenty-five minutes of receiving it.

Logical Fallacy

eyescreamcone wrote: »

The social welfare bill is a big minus on the countrys books at the moment.
We should try novel ways of reducing this valueless expense.

I would suggest offering anyone who has been unemployed for more than six months a lump sum equal to six months dole.
In return they could not claim again for a length of time 3 or 5 years.

This money could be used to set up a small business or emigrate even.

I wouldn't make it compulsory because we have to look after the total scroungers who can't/won't help themselves.

6 months dole = about 4-5K

Not too sure what kind of business you could set up for that, especially in a market that suddenly had lots of other people setting up a similar business all of a sudden.

Except for the fact that it absolutely sucks, your idea is good though.

I'm sure you felt better for actually having it.

MrStuffins

eyescreamcone wrote: »

Interesting comments
Not too many picked holes in this plan tho
An optional scheme to reduce the bill is ridiculed

Trying to pick a hole in this idea would be like trying to setting fire to a forest blaze!

eyescreamcone

Deus Ex Machina wrote: »

eyescreamcone wrote: »

It would remain an option and could reduce the bill.
Where is the downside??

Because there are people stupid enough to literally spend every cent of the lump sum on big dick pills within twenty-five minutes of receiving it.

That would be their option.
They would not qualify for dole for 3 years

Dr Expired

If there is such a thing a karma then i hope OP will lose his/her job.

It might take some of that smugness away.

eyescreamcone

Dr Expired wrote: »

If there is such a thing a karma then i hope OP will lose his/her job.

It might take some of that smugness away.

As a struggling member of the self employed I don't think I'd get much dole if I needed it would I?

But thank you for your kind words
Any hints on reducing the dole bill??

Dubit10

Jesus a dole bashing thread on boards, what a shock.:eek:

antodeco

I'm on the dole and just remembered I've to pay my boards subscription soon. Balls!

Dr Expired

eyescreamcone wrote: »

As a struggling member of the self employed I don't think I'd get much dole if I needed it would I?

But thank you for your kind words
Any hints on reducing the dole bill??

Any cuts need to start at the top.

Ahern & co need to be locked up.

Public servents need to be treated the same as private workers.

Old age pensions need to be means tested.

There are many things that could be done but won't be.

Your OP makes no sense unless you look at the big picture.

eyescreamcone

I'm not feeling too many positive vibes for my plan.
Let's just stay the way we are, shall we?
It'll all work out in the end - whatever you do, don't try anything new or different!!

eyescreamcone

Dr Expired wrote: »

eyescreamcone wrote: »

As a struggling member of the self employed I don't think I'd get much dole if I needed it would I?

But thank you for your kind words
Any hints on reducing the dole bill??

Any cuts need to start at the top.

Ahern & co need to be locked up.

Public servents need to be treated the same as private workers.

Old age pensions need to be means tested.

There are many things that could be done but won't be.

Your OP makes no sense unless you look at the big picture.

Some good points
Pensions are a big drain on the balance sheet

MS.ing

or they could just lie when they publish the numbers on the live register. win, and instant budget saving on paper

eyescreamcone

MS.ing wrote: »

or they could just lie when they publish the numbers on the live register. win, and instant budget saving on paper

It just might work

DoneDL

Well done OP, dumbest thread I have seen for a while and thats no easy task. Now turn the Internet off and read a book.

Mr Benevolent

Spunge wrote: »

Get 5k euro from the government
Hop on a plane to canada or australia
Have a bit of a holiday then start a new life
awesome.

I did that. Great fun it was. Now I'm getting €5k taxback for being unemployed for a year.

BUWAHAHAHAHA!!!!

eyescreamcone

DoneDL wrote: »

Well done OP, dumbest thread I have seen for a while and thats no easy task. Now turn the Internet off and read a book.

You mean my conection to the Internet I presume?
I'm not sure if it's possible to turn off the whole thing.
Not from here anyway

Thanks for your advice about the book

Doc Ruby

Came to thread expecting stupid.

Didn't leave disappointed.

Deus Ex Machina

eyescreamcone wrote: »

Deus Ex Machina wrote: »

eyescreamcone wrote: »

It would remain an option and could reduce the bill.
Where is the downside??

Because there are people stupid enough to literally spend every cent of the lump sum on big dick pills within twenty-five minutes of receiving it.

That would be their option.
They would not qualify for dole for 3 years

But then we'll be faced with marauding hoards of broke, big dicked, lean mean and obscene teens who'll strangle grannies for a tenner. It'd be like a phallic dawn of the dead son, believe me!!!

MrStuffins

eyescreamcone wrote: »

I'm not feeling too many positive vibes for my plan.
Let's just stay the way we are, shall we?
It'll all work out in the end - whatever you do, don't try anything new or different!!

Ah, so not everybody heaps your idea with praise, so you decide that ot's either your idea or forever go on the way it's already going on, completely ignoring the countless numbers of different options that might be in the works or which could come up in any sort of thought process.

Seriously, as this goes on I think you're more and more suited to the Dail!!!

Logical Fallacy

eyescreamcone wrote: »

I'm not feeling too many positive vibes for my plan.
Let's just stay the way we are, shall we?
It'll all work out in the end - whatever you do, don't try anything new or different!!

What exactly do you want? Praise for yet another half baked, poor thought out and generally rubbish plan to deal with the countries social welfare bill?

AH see's at least 3 of these threads a week...so by now the simple fact that you somehow managed to rub two braincells together and came up with a piss poor idea is not really worthy of congratulations.

jonnny68

eyescreamcone wrote: »

The social welfare bill is a big minus on the countrys books at the moment.
We should try novel ways of reducing this valueless expense.

I would suggest offering anyone who has been unemployed for more than six months a lump sum equal to six months dole.
In return they could not claim again for a length of time 3 or 5 years.

This money could be used to set up a small business or emigrate even.

I wouldn't make it compulsory because we have to look after the total scroungers who can't/won't help themselves.

have you spent a lot of the time on the dole yourself then mate eh, you realse how soul destroying it is do you, most probably not!!

Having said one of your points could be workable in a roundabout way

I would suggest offering anyone who has been unemployed for more than six months a lump sum equal to six months dole.
In return they could not claim again for a length of time 3 or 5 years.

the skangers, pi*sheads and brass monkeys would no doubt take this and blow it in a few weeks but they couldn't really complain, unfortunately this would probably result in a surge in crime and these people ending up in already overcrowded jails.

As for emigrating well that seems to be an altogether more realistic option for the normal joe soap who is out of work and has little or no chance of getting a job when there are little or no jobs to be got, setting up any business in these harsh economic times is a far far bigger risk and whilst i wish anyone success who does there is a good chance it will go ti*s up over a period of time.

eyescreamcone

Thanks a mil for all the positive input.
Some interesting thoughts on present dole recipients and what they would do with this lump sum
I was in the glass half full place hoping that people might want to improve their life if only they could get a few grand together.
But the glass half empty brigade think that they'll just do wreck
Maybe it would be a bit of both

Maybe I was naive in thinking that your average dole recipient is not the scum of the earth.
But it seems you experts know better than me.

previous user

eth0 wrote: »

Blah blah dole scroungers

Move in with your parents and pay them rent

If you're not living off 19c tins of baked beans you're not sturggling

People on the dole don't need gas or electricity or bank accounts

Man up and pay the household charge

Let sick people rot and die to save money

Don't bother looking for missing fishermen, helicopter is too costly to run

and so on..

I totally agree

micropig

eyescreamcone wrote: »

Thanks a mil for all the positive input.
Some interesting thoughts on present dole recipients and what they would do with this lump sum
I was in the glass half full place hoping that people might want to improve their life if only they could get a few grand together.
But the glass half empty brigade think that they'll just do wreck
Maybe it would be a bit of both

Maybe I was naive in thinking that your average dole recipient is not the scum of the earth.
But it seems you experts know better than me.

In theory it would be a good idea, but certain sections of society would ruin it for everyone I'm afraid

mercenary2

eyescreamcone wrote: »

The social welfare bill is a big minus on the countrys books at the moment.
We should try novel ways of reducing this valueless expense.

I would suggest offering anyone who has been unemployed for more than six months a lump sum equal to six months dole.
In return they could not claim again for a length of time 3 or 5 years.

This money could be used to set up a small business or emigrate even.

I wouldn't make it compulsory because we have to look after the total scroungers who can't/won't help themselves.

sounds to me like you are on that dole que and sick of living with mammy and daddy ,so u now want a payout to go abroad ,or else you work for the social and put this idea foward but they told you how stupid it actualy is so u want to show em a tread that ppl agree with u...

now here is a idea to save some tax money

teachers are civil servents that work for about 7-8 months a year minus there 4 week hol entilment that would still leave at least 3 mounths free yet they are paid for the full 12 mounths . local councils hire temps for 3 mounths a year for grass cutting ,litter picking etc. etc. so as the teachers are already being paid why not have them fill these temp positions then there is no need to pay new tempary contrcts for them mounths =big tax savings....