Old School Parenting v New School Parenting

slum dog

I was having a dicussion with a work colleague recently. He told me at home, that out of principle he would never cook dinner. In his opinion, he said that this was a woman's role and that he would never do it. After his wife died, he raised his kids to do the same, presumably his female kids.

In contrast to this, I was watching the midday show on tv3 which i normally do, and after watching the militant feminist (who never seems to shut her mouth for one second about the evils of irish men) she said that she was not going to raise her son to be another 'lazy irish man', and would frog march him to the washing machine if clothes ever needed to be cleaned.
Personally i find her opinions of irish men generally offensive, since i wouldnt consider myself a lazy irishman.

who would you be more inclined to agree with? personally i think if they're your kids, you have the right the raise them anyway you want, regardless of what society demands of people.

JonnyM

done before.

Babybuff

rabble rabble rabble

summerskin

Your friend sounds like a dick.

Noopti

Do you mean Chauvinism versus Feminism?

Son Of A Vidic

Somehow I don't think this thread is really about parenting.

Ave Sodalis

There's always gonna be extremism :rolleyes:

I Heart Internet

Neither of them. They both sound crazy.

I know of elderly men who have had to go to old-peopl/nursing homes because their wives died and they didn't know how to run a house. They were healthy and mobile......just didn't pick up those basic skills.

Celly Smunt

I like cooking,Cleaning is the womans job.



RUUUUN!

hooradiation

Cooking is awesome, your work colleague is a twit.

slum dog

hooradiation wrote: »

Cooking is awesome, your work colleague is a twit.

thats not fair. some cultures are like that

Logical Fallacy

Your work friend is missing out on some great memories with his kids.

I remember being younger and Mam would go off to visit a friend of my gran or something. Me and Dad would stay at home and cook the most monumental ****ing fry up in history, home made chips...the whole show.

We'd eat until we could hardly move then lash on Die Hard and go into a coma. Mam would arrive home and we'd be passed out with the meat sweats.

hooradiation

slum dog wrote: »

thats not fair. some cultures are like that

There's a culture of denying yourself a perfectly useful skill because you have a notion that it's the sole preserve of a particular gender?

He's a goddamn moron.

kfallon

Oh my Lord after reading that OP I am thoroughly sickened to the pit of my stomach.....somebody actually watches Midday? :pac:

ScumLord

slum dog wrote: »

I personally i think if they're your kids, you have the right the raise them anyway you want, regardless of what society demands of people.

I don't think that, kids are just small ignorant people. It's the parents obligation to teach that animal how to survive. Surviving for humans means teaching them how to get information and be sociable. If they can't wash their own clothes or feed themselves the parents have failed no matter what sex or class they the child is in.

Children are not projects or slaves that parents can do with what they wish. If anything parents should be slaves to their kids as it's their obligation to prepare them for the world not turn the child into an incompetent adult.

Beruthiel

Yup. Great idea.
Deny your son the knowledge of knowing how to cook and feed himself once he leaves home.
Sure why would he need that skill when there are so many healthy takeaways out there to choose from.
He won't get fat or die young from heart disease. That's just a myth propagated by all those femnazies.

ScumLord

Beruthiel wrote: »

Sure why would he need that skill when there are so many healthy takeaways out there to choose from.

Sure he probably won't know how to order food from the chipper and when they don't cut the crusts off for him he'll sulk himself into starvation.

Chuck Stone

Just give the kids a good slap I reckon.

cynder

My husband was never allowed to cook at home, wasnt even allowed to make himself a cup of tea, when he moved in with me i had to show him how to cook (he figured the tea out by himself after years of watching). He was the one with his college degree that threw water on a chip pan fire, because his mother thought men shouldnt cook and never even gave him the basics...

He loves cooking and if he knew then, what he knows now, he would have trained as a chef.

*cant let him near a washing machine, even last week he put the liquid soap in the conditioner dispenser and nothing in the soap powder dispenser and clothes (darks and lights) in the drum.

My kids love baking my boys are 5 and 6, my daughter who is 12 can cook a Sunday roast, spag bol, pizza, chips, stir fry and so on. Its good to teach both male and females how to cook and clean and to look after themselves.

kylith

I do know some men, late twenties/early thirties, who have no idea how to use a washing machine, dryer, or dishwasher, and who struggle to cook anything but the most basic of meals. I do think that it is the fault of their mothers, who never let them learn how to do these things. Thankfully they seem to have the desire to learn, unlike the older generation. If my mother died before my father he'd have no idea how to do the washing, and would probably life on bacon and cabbage for the rest of his life.

My mother made sure everyone in my family could follow a recipe and work basic appliances, and I intend to do the same.

biko

All my kids will know basic cooking and basic car/house maintenance, regardless of gender.

seamus

kylith wrote: »

I do know some men, late twenties/early thirties, who have no idea how to use a washing machine, dryer, or dishwasher, and who struggle to cook anything but the most basic of meals. I do think that it is the fault of their mothers

Tbh in this day and age, it's their own fault. Anyone who claims they don't know how to use an appliance is just a lazy prick. It takes 30 seconds to google, "How do I use a washing machine".

Cooking meals is possibly a little more complicated, but it generally involves heating stuff until it's hot. Not rocket science. And most food has foolproof instructions. It's not that they "don't know", they just "don't want to know".

Martyn1989

Cooking and cleaning are two things that will do a lad well, especially when it comes time to meet the ladies. Ive been cooking and washing clothes since I was 12, its not hard but it is amazing how people get it wrong.

Cleaning isn't rocket science but we all know people who cant do it, when they try to clean something its never clean.

tigger123

seamus wrote: »

Tbh in this day and age, it's their own fault. Anyone who claims they don't know how to use an appliance is just a lazy prick. It takes 30 seconds to google, "How do I use a washing machine".

Cooking meals is possibly a little more complicated, but it generally involves heating stuff until it's hot. Not rocket science. And most food has foolproof instructions. It's not that they "don't know", they just "don't want to know".

I'd definitely agree with this. I'd find it very hard to take anyone who is in 20's or 30's seriously if they couldn't cook or use a washing machine.

AeoNGriM

JonnyM wrote: »

done before.

And you made absolutely no useful contribution to it then either

:rolleyes:

ejmaztec

grindelwald wrote: »

My kids love baking my boys

:eek:

kylith

seamus wrote: »

Tbh in this day and age, it's their own fault. Anyone who claims they don't know how to use an appliance is just a lazy prick. It takes 30 seconds to google, "How do I use a washing machine".

Oh, I agree, but apparently all the 'hot wash', 'cool wash' things are very confusing. And why should they bother learning when mammy will wash their clothes for them?

seamus wrote: »

Cooking meals is possibly a little more complicated, but it generally involves heating stuff until it's hot. Not rocket science. And most food has foolproof instructions. It's not that they "don't know", they just "don't want to know".

Again, i agree, but the topic has been covered in the cooking forum several times. Apparently to people with zero background in cooking even something as simple as 'dice the carrots' is a daunting command - what are dice? How big should they be? And so on.

Like yourself I think this is laziness; in a world with Youtube there is no excuse for not being able to cook at all.

Stiffler2

The female jobs get split in my household.

Basically I do the cooking most nights and the hoovering.
She does the washing & ironing.

I'm happy with my deal.....
don't think I could bring myself to iron, washing - well maybe is she isn't around but i'd probably end up turning all my clothes pink & shrinking them.

Don't get me started on the ironing though.

Morag

Stiffler2 wrote: »

The female jobs get split in my household.

They are not female jobs, they are just the housework.

Lollipops23

My dad had to learn to fend for himself quite early on, as his mother was in very poor health and he had 3 younger siblings to look after.
The result is a middle aged man who cooks the best fry up, chilli, lasagna and curries I've ever tasted.

My step mother's brothers were a different story- they couldn't even make tea when they moved out of home.

Personally I find it awful that some mothers molly coddle their sons so much that they can't even feed themselves. They're just doing them a disservice.

Indubitable

Is it really necessary to actively teach children how to cook or do their laundry etc? I don't remember ever having to do any of these things when I was a child yet when I moved out I was self sufficient in cooking and cleaning. I suppose throwing some clothes in the washing machine isn't that hard really.

and that colleague of your might want to broaden his horizons a little.

Stiffler2

Sharrow wrote: »

They are not female jobs, they are just the housework.

Call it what you want, My parents were old skool & that's how I grew up.
Housework is the same as calling it a female job ??

anyway it's 50/50 in my castle, I'm a new age man :(

token101

slum dog wrote: »

I was having a dicussion with a work colleague recently. He told me at home, that out of principle he would never cook dinner. In his opinion, he said that this was a woman's role and that he would never do it. After his wife died, he raised his kids to do the same, presumably his female kids.

In contrast to this, I was watching the midday show on tv3 which i normally do, and after watching the militant feminist (who never seems to shut her mouth for one second about the evils of irish men) she said that she was not going to raise her son to be another 'lazy irish man', and would frog march him to the washing machine if clothes ever needed to be cleaned.
Personally i find her opinions of irish men generally offensive, since i wouldnt consider myself a lazy irishman.

who would you be more inclined to agree with? personally i think if they're your kids, you have the right the raise them anyway you want, regardless of what society demands of people.

I'm going to raise mine on the premise that if they watch TV3 they die. Like in The Ring. That way they won't be watching ****e like dogging and idiot feminists.

elvis99

Kids are way more feral now, if you give out to them for acting the shit the parents usually get offended and have this idea that there "angel" would never do that. A telling off never did me a bit of harm when I was younger

Morag

Stiffler2 wrote: »

Housework is the same as calling it a female job ??

Nope it's not, household chorses or housework is not female or male work its people work.

Stiffler2 wrote: »

anyway it's 50/50 in my castle, I'm a new age man :(

New age man? do you belive in the power of crystals or something?

Pff it was and still is 50/50 in my parents house and was in my grandparents house, the notion that both genders should be able to cook, clean ect shouldn't be that radical in this day and age?

Stiffler2

Sharrow wrote: »

Nope it's not, household chorses or housework is not female or male work its people work.



New age man? do you belive in the power of crystals or something?

Pff it was and still is 50/50 in my parents house and was in my grandparents house, the notion that both genders should be able to cook, clean ect shouldn't be that radical in this day and age?

we just grew up differently , from different backgrounds.
My Dad worked his whole life providing.
My Mother stayed at home her whole life and looked after the family.

as this is my background, this is what I'm used to so in my terms I'm a new age man from my dads generation.

never met the grandparents so couldn't tell ya !

Like I said I can do it all but I don't / won't wash clothes or iron but that's all.

Me & the missus made this deal a long time ago.
I do the cooking / hoovering , she does the rest.

I'm now looking for a robot hoover and am thinking of getting it.

Bipolar Joe

I was just fed junk when I was growing up. I won't lie, I'm a moron, and cooking is a scary task if you don't know how. It's one of those things people who can do it take for granted and think it's simple. Sure, why can't anyone complete complex theoretical equations? Lots of people can manage it!

The variables in cooking are many. My oven, for example, is a piece of sh!t. I'm doing my best to try and learn, but it gets to a point where you burn your food so many times you're just wasting money, and there's only so much vomiting you can really take (Or stomach, hurr hurr hurr). A friend showing me how to cook told me to skin a potato. I was holding it all awkward and couldn't get it to work. That's my own stupidity, but it's aggravated by fear I'm gonna fuck up so I don't try. When people say "What? You're how old and you can't cook?" it makes you feel small and only compounds those feelings. Fun Fact: Negative reinforcement is only to the benefit of the enforcer.

I'm trying now, and it's hard.

ScumLord

Sharrow wrote: »

Nope it's not, household chorses or housework is not female or male work its people work.

Traditionally it was always women's work and that's universal throughout the world.

That's not to take anything away from the women that do it as housework is essential work or at least has been in the past. If you look at tribal people women do the majority of the work even putting food on the table while men hunt, the women value their hunting even if they come back empty handed. I think they value men taking risks and showing physical prowess as all the male of any species is good for is providing sperm.

AngryBollix

Just give little Johnny a good solid crack on the arse

Gbear

Forget about what parents should do; as the evidence in this thread shows, they can't be trusted to do it.

Mandatory home economics for the whole of secondary school.
Nevermind women thinking men are stupid if they can't do the dishes or cook a basic meal, women are also on the other spectrum with regards to "man jobs" like electronics/car/shelves. Thankfully both are getting better with gender roles relaxing.

Apparently home ec now teaches how to wire a plug. That, budgeting, car maintenance, cooking, cleaning, ironing and all the other boring **** you need to survive is useful to far more people than rote learning of theorems or poetry.

saa

You're offended that someone doesn't want their son to be lazy. I know there are a lot of people who have an issue with me because of my gender and think everyone of this gender is ______ if you get that offended by every ignorant so and so you'll have no energy left to cook or clean eh.

And you don't have the right to raise them anyway you want, of course you can go against what society deems acceptable as long as it is of the best interest of the child and they have a choice.

From what I've seen that kind of household largely doesn't exist anymore, we don't live in a society where the men work in an industry and the women stay at home so why would we raise kids to only fit those roles because of their gender, you son will have to cook for himself and your daughters will have to find work married or not.

There is just something really sad about the father who comes home from a hard days work and sits on his own waiting for his dinner because he provides money he doesn't have time for anything else and just wishes the house would be clean and he would be left alone by his family, that is my impression of this old school ideal, and maybe not that extreme but the father figure is at least limited and cut off from family life mentally more so than not having enough hours in the week.

gud4u

Bipolar Joe wrote: »

I was just fed junk when I was growing up. I won't lie, I'm a moron, and cooking is a scary task if you don't know how. It's one of those things people who can do it take for granted and think it's simple. Sure, why can't anyone complete complex theoretical equations? Lots of people can manage it!

The variables in cooking are many. My oven, for example, is a piece of sh!t. I'm doing my best to try and learn, but it gets to a point where you burn your food so many times you're just wasting money, and there's only so much vomiting you can really take (Or stomach, hurr hurr hurr). A friend showing me how to cook told me to skin a potato. I was holding it all awkward and couldn't get it to work. That's my own stupidity, but it's aggravated by fear I'm gonna fuck up so I don't try. When people say "What? You're how old and you can't cook?" it makes you feel small and only compounds those feelings. Fun Fact: Negative reinforcement is only to the benefit of the enforcer.

I'm trying now, and it's hard.

I get the concepts of cooking and cleaning, just not how they apply to me, so says the fridge magnet my husband bought me.

I'm a 34 yo woman and was brought up with no housework or mealtime routine. I have never cooked a chicken, I'm afraid I'II poison evryone and the house is a tip most days. We both work and no matter how much housework I do, it still looks like sh*t, because, there's a pair of us in it.

My mothers idea of tidying was...if there's a knock at the door, fling anything that'll move into the nearest room and lock the door. No one goes past the kitchen. All this behaviour is learned, I am still trying to teach myself not to be a slob, but I have to say, it's hard. I just don't get where all the crap and clutter comes from. I also struggle with budgets and finances.

Listening to my work colleages, they were taught by example, as opposed to specifically shown how to cook, clean, tidy. It would have been easier if I was shown as a child.

I think parents have only one object to achieve, and that is to prepare a child for the world, not protect them from it.

Princess Consuela Bananahammock

I am a **** cook and I wish I couild prepare fom damn decent stuff. Really. No excuse, no sexism, my Dad did courses in Italian and Chiniese food. Coudl cook an amazing fry-up to, that man. So where was I?

Yes. Cooking. teach your kids to cook. teach your kids to love good food. They'l lthank you for it later, be they boy or girl.

steddyeddy

Indubitable wrote: »

Is it really necessary to actively teach children how to cook or do their laundry etc? I don't remember ever having to do any of these things when I was a child yet when I moved out I was self sufficient in cooking and cleaning. I suppose throwing some clothes in the washing machine isn't that hard really.

and that colleague of your might want to broaden his horizons a little.

Well my mother taught me to cook and to take care of myself when I was at home. It definatly stood to me in my career and work ethic. Theres more to giving people responsibilities at home than teaching them to cook and clean.

starbelgrade

biko wrote: »

All my kids will know basic cooking and basic car/house maintenance, regardless of gender.

Good plan. It's by far the cheapest way to get the car serviced, the lawn mowed, the walls painted and your meals cooked.