Your Worst Ever Plan

Daemos

You know those plans that make perfect sense when you think of them, but then you actually try to do it and it fails utterly and completely? We've all had them. What's your worst?

One that springs to mind for me was an utter failure on every level. I was cold, so decided to go out for some soup to bring home and heat up. While I was walking, I remembered I couldn't go into my kitchen because it was booked up for the night by my flatmates. And I couldn't go to the pub because there weren't any matches on. So I just went for a longer walk so as not to make it a pointless journey.

Basically, I tried to prevent myself being cold by going for a long walk in the cold

ygolometsipe

life.

Foghladh

Daemos wrote: »

And I couldn't go to the pub because there weren't any matches on

And you couldn't just go to the pub and have a pint?

El Guapo!

Your friends "booked" the kitchen?!?!
Wtf sort of place do you live in man???

Doc

Daemos wrote: »

I was cold, so decided to go out for some soup to bring home and heat up. While I was walking, I remembered I couldn't go into my kitchen because it was booked up for the night by my flatmates.

So you couldn’t walk into the kitchen and put some soup in the microwave walk out and come back in 2min because your flatmates had "booked" the kitchen? What kind of mad rules do you have in your home?

"No food for you today I’ve booked the kitchen."

"Sorry you’ll have to go to McDonalds to take that sh1t I’ve booked the bathroom for the night."

AlmightyCushion

You were cold so you went to buy food? You should have just put on a jumper or got a blanket.

idunnoshur

When I threw petrol into the stove at home in an attempt to get the fire going again. I moved the petrol in an empty crisp wrapper and it managed to spill all over the front of the stove. I them decided to burn the petrol off it and in the process singed the **** out of my hair.

It really wasn't a good idea.

hairyprincess

I'm more of a 'fly by the seat of my pants' kinda gal rather than a planner

Daemos

Dean09 wrote: »

Your friends "booked" the kitchen?!?!
Wtf sort of place do you live in man???

It was Valentine's Day. I saw candles. I didn't ask any questions after that

longhalloween

That reminds me of the time I caught the ferry over to Shelbyville. I needed a new heel for my shoe, so, I decided to go to Morganville, which is what they called Shelbyville in those days. So I tied an onion to my belt, which was the style at the time. Now, to take the ferry cost a nickel, and in those days, nickels had pictures of bumblebees on 'em. Give me five bees for a quarter, you'd say.

Now where were we? Oh yeah: the important thing was I had an onion on my belt, which was the style at the time. They didn't have white onions because of the war. The only thing you could get was those big yellow ones...

micropig

"Gee, Brain, what do you want to do tonight?"


"The same thing we do every night, Pinky—try to take over the world!

Sindri

Leaving school to become a writer. :rolleyes:


I can tell you my articles have (not yet) been published in PlayBoy.

That really was a pretty **** plan. Inspired by cheap wine and an inflated sense of my intellectual superiority over everyone else.

Daemos

Daemos wrote: »

Dean09 wrote: »

Your friends "booked" the kitchen?!?!
Wtf sort of place do you live in man???

It was Valentine's Day. I saw candles. I didn't ask any questions after that

But it was soup ? Two mins max ! Not like u wanted to prepare a medival banquet .

If i had wanted soup and was only going to take two mins woud of gone in to the booked kitchen even if they were doing it doggy style on the table.

Where do u live in this house under the stairs ?

cloud493

In year 11, me and a few friends thought we could take a scenic route by walking to school, when the bus was delayed cos of ice or something. Wasn't necessarily a bad plan, till someone slipped over and hurt his knee on an icy hill :mad:

44leto

All those life plans that ended up on the Boulevard of broken dreams. But that is life.

I suppose leaving college to work in my chosen field and continue the course at night, you as in me incredible stupid cnut.

Daemos

Rey Inexpensive Prism wrote: »

But it was soup ? Two mins max ! Not like u wanted to prepare a medival banquet .

If i had wanted soup and was only going to take two mins woud of gone in to the booked kitchen even if they were doing it doggy style on the table.

Somehow I doubt they'd see it that way

Cianos

Daemos wrote: »

It was Valentine's Day. I saw candles. I didn't ask any questions after that

In fairness that's the only situation where booking the kitchen is okay. It's gone from you living with assholes and you being a tool to you living with normals and you being sound.

John Doe1

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and thats how i lost my job as an architect

44leto

John Doe1 wrote: »

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and thats how i lost my job as an architect

HUH

Like what did you do wrong,???a little tweaking and you would have the Sydney opera house.

No-one ever follows their plans anyway.

Damokc

I think OP can ad this thread to his list of failed plans:D Booking a kitchen? Crazy horse stuff!

grindle

Not caring about anything - being a nihilistic little shït - I left school, missed out on college and sent myself down the road toward retail management.
More a story of NOT planning, if anything, but to be fair, I was certain I'd have died by now.
Nowadays, I'm procrastination's bitch, trying to fit music and coding in between a girlfriend and a job. At least I haven't lumbered myself with kids, or them with me.

Poxyshamrock

Dropping out of college to repeat my LC.

Buying a house in 1989 in the UK, 30% price collapse within 5 years.
Eventually sold it for the same as I paid taking inflation into account.
Should have waited a few more years before jumping in.

Alan 1990

The big freeze a couple of years ago, we were snowed in lived up a big hill..house was freezing ran out of home heating oil couldnt get any to deliver so went to light the fire only to realise I had no firelighters but I had petrol......... Anyway didn't exactly go to plan but did work.. Not sure if it was worth the hassle though. Improvise adapt and overcome.

Alan 1990

The big freeze a couple of years ago, we were snowed in lived up a big hill..house was freezing ran out of home heating oil couldnt get any to deliver so went to light the fire only to realise I had no firelighters but I had petrol......... Anyway didn't exactly go to plan but did work.. Not sure if it was worth the hassle though. Improvise adapt and overcome.

tvercetti

When your internet is down, you have the great idea of googling whats wrong

When the power is out and you can't watch tv, you turn on the playstation for a game instead

keithclancy

You flush the jax and the water sits right under the rim,

Then it goes down half way, you flush it again and dumps float out all over the place.

talkinyite

To go camping in the wicklow mountains with a few mates and crates of dutch gold when I was a kid... ended up getting chased by a farmer with a pitchfork and had to walk back to Dublin in the pitchdark.

im invisible

The best laid plans of mice and men...

sbsquarepants

Good few years ago I was refused entry into a seedy nightclub on the grounds of being drunk and very visibly under the influence of mdma, so i had an "ingenius" brainwave - i jumped into a taxi, went home, changed my clothes while the taxi waited outside, went back to same shítty nightclub - was close enough to where i live so about 25 minutes after the first refusal, only to be told "do you think your getting in now cos you have a new shirt on?"
Walked back down stairs dejected and the taxi man beeped me and dropped me home for free - he knew full well i wouldn't be succesfull!
Had a good laugh with him on the way home about the sheer stupidity of the plan!!

El Weirdo

idunnoshur wrote: »

When I threw petrol into the stove at home in an attempt to get the fire going again. I moved the petrol in an empty crisp wrapper and it managed to spill all over the front of the stove. I them decided to burn the petrol off it and in the process singed the **** out of my hair.

It really wasn't a good idea.

Still, at least you got the shit out of your hair.

Frank Black

To put out an oil rig fire, I once set off a nitroglycerin explosion in order to consume enough oxygen to put out the fire. Little did I realise that nitroglycerin gives off oxygen when it detonates.


Had a hard time explaining that one to the boss.

Corvo

Was walking across Wexford bridge one time (which if you have ever seen it, is monstrous) and decided "To hell with this walking, I'm taking a short cut" before lobbing off of it onto the sand below (the tide was way out).

I was about 14 at the time.

Cue to the age 23 and I was at the gym this week and the instructor mentioned my posture is f****d.

You fill in the gaps.

geeky

I was broke as a freelancer and took a job in a company that I genuinely doubted would succeed, for a number of reasons. Cue the worst year of my professional life. Without going in to too much detail, it was like being in an episode of fawlty towers without the jokes.

emzolita

studying me hole off in school, getting grinds for all of 5th and 6th year and was all set for the big LC only to end up in hospital on the first day of it. Then having to take the rest of the exams under brain-sedatives in bed in Beaumont.
Needless to say my points didn't fulfill my plan, so I had ANOTHER plan, go back and repeat!
The next summer, I ended up having to get emergency brain surgery a week before the LC again. lol, FML. ..... (i'm not a teacher now!)

frag420

I had a plan once. It was a cunning plan. It was a plan so cunning you could have pinned a tail to it and called it a fox.

Sadly it was hunting season and this plan got got!!

cml387

My plans for world domination failed when I didn't shoot James Bond on the spot and instead foolishly locked him in a storeroom with a hidden trapdoor.

Steven81

About every plan that i make after a few pints and everyone says thats great, should just keep the mouth shut

livinsane

I rinsed out a plastic bottle with water from a boiler. The bottle died.

ronano

i made lemsip, read boards instead of drinking it, BOARDS FOILED MY PLAN TO DRINK LEMSIP BUNCH A ****

Fart

I planned to go clothes shopping with the missus. Baaaaaaaaaaaad idea! :mad:

FlipperThePriest

livinsane wrote: »

I rinsed out a plastic bottle with water from a boiler. The bottle died.

Reminded me of a story, although it was someone else's worst plan ever...

I work in a bar near a beach that tends to be quite busy during the summer. One hot summers day this idiot chav walked in. "Can I have a cup of tea to go?" For a start I had no idea why he was ordering tea, he looked off his face and it was scorching out. I told him we didn't have disposable cups, so sorry but no. Told him he could drink it in the bar if he wanted. He spotted plastic glasses that we use to send people on their merry way and said "they'll do", to which I explained that the hot tea will just melt into the plastic. He said, "sure it'll be grand just use 2 or 3 of them together". So I bit my tongue and carried out his request, if he had of been a more mannerly lad I probably would have explained that the cup may be full of chemicals and possibly bad for his health but my guess was that he was full of chemicals at the time anyway.

I had some laugh at him, afterward, imagining him walking around with a cup of tea crumbling in his hand, possibly scalding himself.. I'd say he lasted 30 seconds before he flung it at some poor unsuspecting child.

Laika1986

I invaded Russia in October, silly

northernpower

Kind've drove the woman i loved into wanting a break so i could get some guilt free strange, the plan was a few months of single life then pick up again where we left off...

..turns out i'm not as deadly as i thought i was

fasttalkerchat

Not the worst but a recent one:

Got 200 Kony 2012 wristbands made.
That campaign fell flat on its face.
170 sitting in a drawer if anyone is interested...

Pdfile

fasttalkerchat wrote: »

Not the worst but a recent one:

Got 200 Kony 2012 wristbands made.
That campaign fell flat on its face.
170 sitting in a drawer if anyone is interested...

i'd be so scarlet id move to uganda.

ToddyDoody

This actually happened. When i was 18 i spent all of my savings (about one thousand euro) on radio transmission equipment. All of the circuits needed to be manually assembled using a soldering iron.. I had no soldering experience and Made a bags of it. None of it ever got put to any use, the plan was to illegally transmit stuff if i had the guts.. The only upside was that i was really into all the techie stuff surrounding it, still a ten euro kit from maplin would have worked just as well

holystungun9

Knocked back a shot glass of petrol.



















Then forgot and went outside for a smoke.:(

booboo88

Daemos wrote: »

It was Valentine's Day. I saw candles. I didn't ask any questions after that

So he lives in a house share, and wanted to have a romantic meal? I know where I'd be telling him to get off:rolleyes:

When I tried lightening my hair with bleach, bad idea, thankfully no bald patches but I wont be doing it ever again

splashthecash

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ACnqI1l4I9s

sidders

tried to replicate jonny knoxville ..... was riding my new bmx and saw a path leading to a curb with grass on the top ... "grand" i taught. ill just cycle down this at high speend pull the brakes and land on hte grass on my back after doing a kick ass flip....... i pulled the brakes to early and caught my hand got wedged bedween a drain and the curb ..... i landed on my back as expected but snapped my arm in half ......... i hurt alot :cool: