The Female Demerit System

Bootup

Here is a guide to the points system:

SIMPLE DUTIES

You make the bed (+1)

You make the bed, but forget the decorative pillow (0)

You throw the bedspread over rumpled sheets (-1)

You go out to buy her what she wants (+5) in the rain (+8)

But return with Beer (-5)

You check out a suspicious noise at night (+1)

You check out a suspicious noise, and it is nothing (0)

You check out a suspicious noise and it is something (+5)

You pummel it with iron rod (+10)

It's her pet (-20)

SOCIAL ENGAGEMENTS
You stay by her side the entire party (0)

You stay by her side for a while, then leave to chat with an old school friend (-2)

Named Tina (-10)

Tina is a dancer (-20)

Tina has silicone implants (-80)

HER BIRTHDAY
You take her out to dinner (+2)

You take her out to dinner and it's not a sports bar (+3)

Okay, it's a sports bar (-2)

And it's all-you-can-eat night (-3)

It's a sports bar, it's all-you-can-eat night, and your face is painted the colors of your favourite team (-10)

A NIGHT OUT
You take her to a movie (+1)

You take her to a movie she likes (+3)

You take her to a movie you hate (+6)

You take her to a movie you like (-2)

It's called 'Death Cop' (-3)

You lied and said it was a foreign film about orphans (-15)

YOUR PHYSIQUE
You develop a noticeable potbelly (-15)

You develop a noticeable potbelly and exercise to get rid of it (+10)

You develop a noticeable potbelly and resort to baggy jeans and baggy Hawaiian shirts (-30)

You say, "It doesn't matter, you have one too." (-8000)

COMMUNICATION
When she wants to talk about a problem, you listen, displaying what looks like a concerned expression (0)

You listen, for over 30 minutes (+50)

You listen for more than 30 minutes without looking at the TV (+500)

She realizes this is because you have fallen asleep (-4000)


THE BIG QUESTION
She asks, "Do I look fat?" (-5) (Yes, you lose points no matter what)

You hesitate in responding (-10)

You reply, "Where?" (-35)

Any other response (-20)

MonkieSocks

Great stuff Boot ........................My Missus has the above list stuck on the fridge door :rolleyes:

Bootup

MonkieSocks wrote: »

Great stuff Boot ........................My Missus has the above list stuck on the fridge door :rolleyes:

Lol Monkie:D........think the points for the "Big" question are way to low.....:rolleyes:

newport2

Very good

If only the list was that short and clearly defined in real life

MonkieSocks

Bootup wrote: »

Lol Monkie:D........think the points for the "Big" question are way to low.....:rolleyes:

Definately too low........My Missus tried on her New Jeans the other day and said................"Do these Jeans make my Arse look Fat?"

I said..............."No your Fat make you Arse look Fat" :eek:

I'm getting good at Ducking flying objects now :P

Keep them coming M8