Would you support your boy/girlfriend just so you can see him/her more?

If you could easily afford to support your girlfriend that works six evenings a week, would you? Bearing in mind that she goes to university during the day.

Katgurl

depends what you mean by easily and if she wanted to be supported, if couple living together etc

CardBordWindow

You mean like, buy a jersey, and pay to go see her in class???

BraziliaNZ

you mean like give her money so she doesn't have to work the 6 evenings? No. If it's going to be a long term relationship you'll have possibly the rest of your lives to get sick of each other, space is a good thing!

ash23

Probably a little bit. Maybe just so they'd only be working 3 or 4 evenings a week (I'm assuming they're in college during the day?)

I'd do it in a subtle way though, like paying all the rent. I wouldn't just hand over cash in case they'd take it up wrong.

My ex supported me for a while because he wanted me to live with him. And a few years later when he lost his job I supported him. It's what serious relationships are about.

If it's not serious though, then no, I wouldn't.

smash

ash23 wrote: »

My ex supported me for a while because he wanted me to live with him. And a few years later when he lost his job I supported him. It's what serious relationships are about.

But you broke up :pac:

ElleEm

I would do it in a heartbeat.
I love my boyfriend, and if I couldn't see him that much, I would support him financially.
Although we are together a long time.

ash23

smash wrote: »

But you broke up :pac:

Yeah, but not over money.

efb

She's Ads by Google's ex- she scores when she wants!

Dudess

Probably would if it were really serious - so that he'd be working two or three evenings a week rather than six. That's pretty full-on on top of college and college work when you're in a relationship.

kowloon

If they took the money but kept up the working hours I'd be a little pissed off.

AngryBollix

She would have to put out on demand

pickarooney

You should get the rich princess hanger-on to support you then support the other one with a cut of that.

EL_Loco

why? does she only get to describe 2 of the 6 dreams she has each night and you're dying to know the rest?

angry kitten

If its a serious relationship I don't see why not. I'd been going out with my now husband for a year, he was in the UK and I was in Ireland. When I moved over there he set up a joint bank account because I wasn't working and he said that he didn't want me to feel that I had to ask him for money. Now I'm not a greedy or frivolous person so the money generally went on stuff that we needed or on utility bills etc. That arrangement wouldn't work for everybody. Maybe something like paying the rent would take the pressure off your partner. 14 years later we're still very happy and we look at money as our money not mine or his. I think it depends on how well you know each other and its about mutual trust and respect. Maybe you should have a serious conversation with your partner to find out how they feel about being supported. I felt a little bit awkward about it at first.

blackwhite

Deleted User wrote: »

If you could easily afford to support your girlfriend that works six evenings a week, would you? Bearing in mind that she goes to university during the day.

So you want her to give up her job, and you'll effectively be paying her for sex? :eek:

Basically you're asking her to become a prostitute to put herself through college.

For shame OP, for shame

retalivity

im putting my gf through college

Bad Panda

I'd have no issues supporting a girlfriend/wife full time whatever the circumstances.*

It might sound a bit sexist/traditionalist and all, but I'm working to be in a position whereby I can do that. Good to have the option.

*Unless she was just utterly useless and lazy!

The other reason I'm thinking about it is that she earns shlt money... Over twice what a graduate would earn over here because she has an english speaking job but it's still shlt. Twice my hours for a tenth of my salary. Her parents are fairly rich but will only help her with college/motorbike stuff since she moved out.

Fek it anyway, dunno what to do. I have it in my head that I'll feel like a wallet even though I know she's genuine.

KTRIC

retalivity wrote: »

im putting my gf through college

I'm doing your girlfriend in college

Triangla

You guys living together - if so you could cover rent, food and bills.

Pocket money would be a no no, that would be creepy and controlling.

She can sort herself out for nights out and booze with job hours.

Make sure she's on the same page as you though.

One question - if the relationship ended badly could she walk away or would she have to pay you back?

stupidusername

I dunno. this can be an awkward one. I mean if you're covering a certain amount of her stuff, do you hold a grudge against her if she goes out one of the nights she now has off because you're paying for it, and you're doing it so you could see her?

if she drops out of college, where do ye stand then? or if ye break up? does she owe you?

Triangla wrote: »

One question - if the relationship ended badly could she walk away or would she have to pay you back?

yep yep yep.

Babybuff

don't think so. I know too many bums already.

So we went through with it about 2 months ago.. Works out great. Get on alot better and the money difference is fairly negligible cause of her awesome cooking for two of us which costs less than me eating takeaways or in restaurants every evening. She can make a big meal for us for about two or three dollars cause of the market beside our house. And I'm losing the half stone I let myself put on cause she cooks healthy and I drink less.

She doesn't work 48 hours a week for no reason now so I get to see her so much more. Yay for going old fashioned with a breadwinner / housewife type relationship.

Chucken

Deleted User wrote: »

So we went through with it about 2 months ago.. Works out great. Get on alot better and the money difference is fairly negligible cause of her awesome cooking for two of us which costs less than me eating takeaways or in restaurants every evening. She can make a big meal for us for about two or three dollars cause of the market beside our house. And I'm losing the half stone I let myself put on cause she cooks healthy and I drink less.

She doesn't work 48 hours a week for no reason now so I get to see her so much more. Yay for going old fashioned with a breadwinner / housewife type relationship.

Dont take the pish out of her,ok?

PS. Can we come over for holidays?

Of course.. Whether or not I meet you depends entirely on how much you impress me before then.

Carter P Fly

Ive done it but in hindsight it wasn't worth it.

You will feel a need to some sort of gratitude which you wont get, You'll feel a need for quid pro quo which you wont get. You'll do it because its nice to be nice but that's really rubbish, people do nice things because it makes them feel good but this will have the opposite effect in reality. At the end of it all chances are you will break up anyway, probably leaving you with unpaid bills you didn't incur (300 Quid mobile bill because she HAD to speak to mammy for an hour during the day at peak times everyday)


So my advice, unless the other half specifically asks for it and you come to an an arrangement of sorts then just don't do it.

LOL, Bitter much, Yes

Moon Indigo

Depends on the relationship. If its serious on your part its worth taking the gamble. My heart says its a no brainer. A serious relationship requires serious commitment.

If I could comfortably support my girlfriend to reach the end goal of finishing out college I feel it will benefit you both in the long run. A happier partner equals a happier relationship.

Just thread carefully. If you go head first in with an attitude of 'I'm the man let my take of everything' that could be taken up wrongly. If you decide to do it I would gently put the option out there as a suggestion first and see how she feels about it. Maybe cutting down the hours/days at work could be the happy middle medium. That way its not all on your shoulders and she still has independence and is not totally dependent on you. Plus it gives the relationship room to breath.

Moon Indigo

Moon Indigo wrote: »

Just thread carefully.

and embroider neatly


the OP has already updated us...

Lando Griffin

I'll take this one.

You have to be clever and play the system.
Get her pregnant and have her living as a single mother on the dole with benfits and free house. Then after a few years she can go back to college state aided and maybe as a mature student.
Its a win win situtation for all.

Note * I wouldn't want you living with her when she is on un-married mothers allowence as this is strictly against the rules *

SunnyDub1

Really depends on the situation and the seriousness of the relationship.


Some people just take the piss and get to comfortable.
I have a Friend in a relationship that pays for absolutely everything for her OH - food, nights out, rent, clothes, Leisure.
While the OH just spends their day chilling, eating, watching football and going to the gym. Any money he gets from the social goes on drinks in the pub with the lads. :rolleyes:

People like them just taking the piss. Really annoys me. But more fool her eh :rolleyes:

Nothingbetter2d

SunnyDub1 wrote: »

Really depends on the situation and the seriousness of the relationship.


Some people just take the piss and get to comfortable.
I have a Friend in a relationship that pays for absolutely everything for her OH - food, nights out, rent, clothes, Leisure.
While the OH just spends their day chilling, eating, watching football and going to the gym. Any money he gets from the social goes on drinks in the pub with the lads. :rolleyes:

People like them just taking the piss. Really annoys me. But more fool her eh :rolleyes:

i bet that won't last... your friend will eventually get fed up of that.

Well this is in Vietnam.. So the money really just doesn't matter. She couldn't possibly spend a noticeable amount of money with her tastes in food/drink/clothes. Like $50 a week and half that would be spent on dinners for both of us. If she was a big shopper or drinker, I wouldn't agree to it.. But since her interests revolve around music, food and rage comics, it's not really an issue.