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The Bible

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  • 14-03-2012 11:55am
    #1
    Bootup
    Registered Users Posts: 6,912 ✭✭✭


    There once was a priest who had to spend the night in a hotel. He got to his room and opened up the Gideon's Bible to page 1, then called the front desk and asked the hat check girl to come up to his room for dinner. After a while he started making passes, she stopped him and reminded him he was a holy man. "It's OK," he replied, "it's written in the Bible." So after a wild night of sex, the hat check girl asked to see where in the Bible it says it's okay to have wild, passionate sex. The priest picks up the Bible off the dresser opens to the first page where someone had written in pencil: "The hat check girl puts out!"


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    #2
    Ronin247
    Registered Users Posts: 1,256 ✭✭✭Ronin247


    While the priest was checking into the hotel he said to the receptionist

    " I hope the porn channel is disabled"

    "No" she replied " its regular porn you sick b*stard"


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    #3
    Attie
    Closed Accounts Posts: 495 ✭✭Attie


    Ronin247 wrote: »
    While the priest was checking into the hotel he said to the receptionist

    " I hope the porn channel is disabled"

    "No" she replied " its regular porn you sick b*stard"




    Priest in our local village saved young chaps life last week he found a lump on his ba!l's.
    Attie


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    #4
    Bootup
    Registered Users Posts: 6,912 ✭✭✭Bootup


    A drunk staggers into a Catholic Church,enters a confessional booth, sits down, but says nothing.
    The Priest coughs a few times to get his attention but the drunk continues to sit there.
    Finally, the Priest pounds three times on the wall.
    The drunk mumbles, "ain't no use knockin,there's no paper on this side either!"


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    #5
    corkonion
    Registered Users Posts: 526 ✭✭✭corkonion


    Two pedophiles were walking down the street one day when they came across a pair of small lacy knickers on the ground.
    The first one picks them up, smells them and says "Aahhh, a seven-year-old girl."
    The other grabs them from him and also takes a smell and says, "No, no...definitely an eight-year-old girl!"
    The two of them are then smelling them in turns and arguing, "An eight-year-old!", "No, a seven-year-old!", "Definitely an eight-year-old!"....and so on.
    The local priest is walking past as the two men argue and can't help but ask them what the commotion is all about.
    The first pedophile tells the priest and asks him if he could sort out the argument, so the priest takes the knickers, has a good long sniff, and after pondering for a few moments, he looks at the two men and says:
    "Definitely an eight-year old girl................................................but not from my parish!"


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