Lair Caek! 5 Layers of deliciousness! Dedicated to Mr Wolf!

x Purple Pawprints x

pixiebean22 wrote: »

Nah, when you go through the menopause in many many years to come you'll be mad as a hatter and think ah my poor ma was like this! It's just crazy how if effects some women. It's kind of like your TOTM, some women are grand, some women go mental.

If I was stuck in that position I'd just get out of the house as much as possible, go for a walk, go sit in the garden, go anywhere, give her alone time.

Someone will eventually have to sit down with her though and have it out. You don't want to be stressed when you're back in college.

Hmmm maybe that's true.

Yeah I think you're right. I'm in the house too much. Tomorrow I have to go to the post office so I'll stay out for bit and maybe go sit in the park. My brother is starting his Leaving on Wednesday and she's been the same with him, it's not fair on him. He's been sick recently too and he doesn't need extra stress. The Leaving is stressful enough in itself.

If I do get back to college (depending on grants etc.) I don't think I'll come home every weekend like I did last time I was there. I need some independence and some space.

daenerysstormborn3

Jane_LS_88 wrote: »

Hmmm maybe that's true.

Yeah I think you're right. I'm in the house too much. Tomorrow I have to go to the post office so I'll stay out for bit and maybe go sit in the park. My brother is starting his Leaving on Wednesday and she's been the same with him, it's not fair on him. He's been sick recently too and he doesn't need extra stress. The Leaving is stressful enough in itself.

If I do get back to college (depending on grants etc.) I don't think I'll come home every weekend like I did last time I was there. I need some independence and some space.

She might just want some space. Sure leave her at it, if she's pushing you all away then let her push.

Oh I didn't realise you'd be moving out if you go to college, that'll do you both good I'd say. You want to spread your wings a bit and she might just want some alone time. I know she's pushing you away but she might not understand how to stop herself, the menopause is a confusing thing (if that's what she is going through). At some point though something will have to be said to her and I'd say that'll be easier if you're not living on top of each other.

x Purple Pawprints x

pixiebean22 wrote: »

She might just want some space. Sure leave her at it, if she's pushing you all away then let her push.

Oh I didn't realise you'd be moving out if you go to college, that'll do you both good I'd say. You want to spread your wings a bit and she might just want some alone time. I know she's pushing you away but she might not understand how to stop herself, the menopause is a confusing thing (if that's what she is going through). At some point though something will have to be said to her and I'd say that'll be easier if you're not living on top of each other.

Yeah could be. If the weather is nice tomorrow I'll stay out for a while.

Yeah I was in Athlone for 3 years, graduated 2010. I'm heading back there all going well. Sent the application in March (even though she didn't want me to.. it was what I wanted so I went for it). It'll be good if I do get to go back. I've been half researching apartments. I know it well so I'll have no problem settling back in. I was in digs last time because she said she didn't want me to go otherwise and there was no way in hell that I wasn't going to go. I want my own space this time.

hondasam

Jane_LS_88 wrote: »

Hmmm maybe that's true.

Yeah I think you're right. I'm in the house too much. Tomorrow I have to go to the post office so I'll stay out for bit and maybe go sit in the park. My brother is starting his Leaving on Wednesday and she's been the same with him, it's not fair on him. He's been sick recently too and he doesn't need extra stress. The Leaving is stressful enough in itself.

If I do get back to college (depending on grants etc.) I don't think I'll come home every weekend like I did last time I was there. I need some independence and some space.

what age is she Jane?

x Purple Pawprints x

hondasam wrote: »

what age is she Jane?

She's 54.

hondasam

I'm watching Sinead O Connor murdering nothing compares to you on the late late show.

daenerysstormborn3

Jane_LS_88 wrote: »

Yeah could be. If the weather is nice tomorrow I'll stay out for a while.

Yeah I was in Athlone for 3 years, graduated 2010. I'm heading back there all going well. Sent the application in March (even though she didn't want me to.. it was what I wanted so I went for it). It'll be good if I do get to go back. I've been half researching apartments. I know it well so I'll have no problem settling back in. I was in digs last time because she said she didn't want me to go otherwise and there was no way in hell that I wasn't going to go. I want my own space this time.

Ah yeah, sure a change from what you did before will be good too and having your own space will be good for you and himself.

Jane_LS_88 wrote: »

She's 54.

My mum started to go through the menopause at 41.

hondasam

Jane_LS_88 wrote: »

She's 54.

Probably explains the moods Id say. Some space will work wonders for both of ye, absence makes the heart grow fonder :)

x Purple Pawprints x

pixiebean22 wrote: »

Ah yeah, sure a change from what you did before will be good too and having your own space will be good for you and himself.



My mum started to go through the menopause at 41.

hondasam wrote: »

Probably explains the moods Id say. Some space will work wonders for both of ye, absence makes the heart grow fonder :)

I'm thinking that's probably what it is tbh. Not really sure how to talk to her though because lately that's been damn near impossible. Space will be good for me, sometimes I feel like I'm being smothered at home and I'm sure it's probably not ideal for my mam to have her 23 year old daughter here at home.

Princess Peach

I had problems with my mother for years. But our roles were reversed from yours Janes, cause I was the one with the problems and bad attitude! I feel so bad thinking back on the strife I caused her, and how many times I made her cry.

Our situation only really started to improve when I realised I had issues and started to fix myself. So not sure what advice I can give you in the situation, I never responded well to what my mother did.

I guess if you want to have a good relationship with her try and make the effort yourself, try and be her friend. I remember the odd time I would spend time with my mother, how happy it made her. Oh I hate thinking of those times, I was so horrible to her sometimes. She would love if I just watched some tv with her, or came to the shop. It was frustrating for her too that I wouldn't share what was going on with me.

I know she might not appreciate it, but maybe you could try, and after a while things might get better. Can't really be any worse than the two of ye ignoring each other?

I love my mammy, and we get along great now. Still can't handle living with her though! :pac:

Posy

pixiebean22 wrote: »

watching star trek

For the love of God, what series???!

hondasam wrote: »

It's not that bad, you no like the countryside?

In theory, yes. But I've always lived in the city. I'm used to being right beside argos/McDonalds/restaurants/the airport etc...

Princess Peach wrote: »

2 weeks left of night classes, then I'm onto an earlier class just twice a week! Dunno if I'm gonna do an extra research project, or enjoy the extra free time!

I finish my night classes at the start of July- can't wait!

daenerysstormborn3

Jane_LS_88 wrote: »

I'm thinking that's probably what it is tbh. Not really sure how to talk to her though because lately that's been damn near impossible. Space will be good for me, sometimes I feel like I'm being smothered at home and I'm sure it's probably not ideal for my mam to have her 23 year old daughter here at home.

Yeah she might resent your youth, menopause hormones are mad. Or it might not be menopause at all at all.

Give her some space or else ask her if she'd like to watch a film with you maybe? Happy medium of just co-existing in the house doesn't seem possible so it's one extreme or the other I'd say.

If my mum was pissed with me I'd ask if she wanted to watch Chitty Chitty Bang Bang or an equally ****ey film that she inexplicably loves!

daenerysstormborn3

Posy wrote: »

For the love of God, what series???! In theory, yes. But I've always lived in the city. I'm used to being right beside argos/McDonalds/restaurants/the airport etc...

I finish my night classes at the start of July- can't wait!

DS9 - my joint favourite with Voyager

x Purple Pawprints x

@Princess Peach: I do wish things were better because it really hurts me. When I see other people that have a close relationship with their mother it makes me wish I had the same. It wasn't always like this but she has always been a bit hard to reason with if you see my point. I'm not sure what to do. Talking to her hasn't really worked. My bf wants to talk to her because I get so upset about it but I'm not going to let him because that'll only cause more problems. I do rely on her a lot which probably doesn't help actually but I try to do as much as I can on my own.

@pixiebean: Thanks so much for your advice. I'll think about it. She's busy with my gran at the moment. Tough situation tbh, she has Alzheimer's and it's getting worse. I do know that's probably stressing her out so I feel so guilty for writing all of this but I'm really hurt by her ignoring me and not even talking to me for the last 2 days. I really don't know what I could have done thats so terrible.

Princess Peach

I've been on and off all night!

I also love Star Trek.

My research projects will be on some form of economic activity in Ireland, write what you know right :pac:

Oh I have a full belly cause I'm having a fat week, which will end tomorrow for sure (fo realz this time).

Me is sleepy, which is good! I'll find a not long film and hopefully be up at a reasonable hour in the morning!

daenerysstormborn3

hondasam wrote: »

I'm watching Sinead O Connor murdering nothing compares to you on the late late show.

I kind of liked her singing. I didn't see it all though

cyberwolf77

pixiebean22 wrote: »

DS9 - my joint favourite with Voyager

Fantastic series if you ask me

KKkitty

My relationship with my mam was up and down. She had a pretty messed up life before she had kids though. She was reared by her grandparents and thought they were her real parents but she was told in a callous way that who she thought was her 2nd oldest sister was her real mam. She then went on to have a child out of marriage herself and was forced by catholic fearing relations to give him up for adoption. Seems weird thinking I have a brother I've never met. My mam never had a close relationship with any of us emotionally but I don't blame her cos maybe she was afraid to get close to any of us in case we were taken from her. She also lost another son to cot death and never got over it.

jammstarr

I'm more of a Battlestar Galactica man myself, I like my sci fi gritty :cool: that being said a bit of Trek is ok with me

x Purple Pawprints x

KKkitty wrote: »

My relationship with my mam was up and down. She had a pretty messed up life before she had kids though. She was reared by her grandparents and thought they were her real parents but she was told in a callous way that who she thought was her 2nd oldest sister was her real mam. She then went on to have a child out of marriage herself and was forced by catholic fearing relations to give him up for adoption. Seems weird thinking I have a brother I've never met. My mam never had a close relationship with any of us emotionally but I don't blame her cos maybe she was afraid to get close to any of us in case we were taken from her. She also lost another son to cot death and never got over it.

Jeez that's awful KKkitty. Makes me feel guilty when I read things like that. I really don't have things bad at all compared to that.

Edit: Might try sleep. If I can't I'll be back on. Night night everyone. And thanks so so much for all of the advice, I really do appreciate it.

Posy

pixiebean22 wrote: »

DS9 - my joint favourite with Voyager

I'm more of a 'Next Generation' person myself. :pac:
I do like 'Voyager' too though- Captain Janeway is awesome!

Sorry to hear things with your mam aren't getting any better Jane. Sleep well. xxx

KKkitty

Jane thank you. She died 3 years ago at 58 years of age. She was the most amazing woman. Her passion was cooking. Forget Gordon Ramsay and the rest cos my mam would have blown them out of the kitchen. She was super intelligent too. She had me reading about the royal families of the world when I was about 11. Sort stuff out with your mam. It probably won't be easy and ye may need space but at least you can say you tried.

writer_lady170

Sephiroth_dude wrote: »

my apologies madam

that's ok, you''re forgiven:)


hello to everyone who's up. I can't sleep:(

x Purple Pawprints x

Oh dear I feel awful today, stupid cold. Staying in bed.

KKkitty I'm really sorry to hear your mam passed so young. I feel bad about whining but things have been hard. Don't know how to feel tbh. On one hand I feel hurt that she keeps ignoring me and on the other hand I can't help but think maybe I did do something to deserve it.

Posy

Morning all. I am actually devastated this morning that I had to get up and go to work, waaah.

x Purple Pawprints x

Hi Posy. Hope you're well.

confuseddotcom

Morninggg

Leeg17

Hello hello

*waves*

confuseddotcom

How's tricks?

Leeg17

Same old same old

How are you this morning?