I'm on a promiss!.... (I hope I am anyway)

Doc

Back story: Meet a lovely lady there last week and we hit it off and had a little kiss at the end of the night. Saw her once more during the week and we kissed again. Been invited round to her place for dinner tonight.

Any tips advice on how I should proceed in my wooing? How should I play it After Hours I know you guys will steer me on the correct course!

haminka

dress nice and clean but don't overdo it
bring some decent wine and pralines and flowers
watch for her signals if you get lucky tonight
offer to help with meal prep and clean-up afterwards

good luck

J. Marston

When she's bringing in the dinner, lob your lad out on to the table and say: ''There's your main course there, love.''

She'll be putty in your hands.

Doc

J. Marston wrote: »

When she's bringing in the dinner, lob your lad out on to the table and say: ''There's your main course there, love.''

She'll be putty in your hands.

I don’t know about that if she’s bringing the dinner in the shock might cause her to spill something hot on it. That wouldn’t be fun for anyone.

Son Of A Vidic

J. Marston wrote: »

When she's bringing in the dinner, lob your lad out on to the table and say: ''There's your main course there, love.''

I think revealing that he has a son so early in their relationship, might prove to be detrimental. And offering him up as some ritualistic style cannibal sacrifice, might also not help matters.

dingdong1234567

If she aint putting out....tell her shes pretty....pretty ugly.

Aint Eazy Being Cheezy

Spill some sauce on your trousers.. "Oh no, my pants are wet.." You know the rest

Doc

jar_of_coins wrote: »

Spill some sauce on your trousers.. "Oh no, my pants are wet.." You know the rest

Now this I like!

lisaface

I'm laughing at some of the replies, classical! - Doc, it kind of depends, is she your next one nighter/fcuk buddy ,or are you actually into her and want to see where this will go!?

jay-me

Do the usual and bring some wine and after dinner chocs if your feeling extra generous.. After the meal and washing up suggest some nice slow romantic music and get her to sit with you on the couch.. Then when she is nicely relaxed.. Blast her with piss!

Doc

lisaface wrote: »

I'm laughing at some of the replies, classical! - Doc, it kind of depends, is she your next one nighter/fcuk buddy ,or are you actually into her and want to see where this will go!?

Is that you? :eek::eek:(Anonymity is scary)


We have only been seeing each other a week so I dont really know yet.

Doc

jay-me wrote: »

Do the usual and bring some wine and after dinner chocs if your feeling extra generous.. After the meal and washing up suggest some nice slow romantic music and get her to sit with you on the couch.. Then when she is nicely relaxed.. Blast her with piss!

That has to be saved for at least the second or third time surely?

K-9

Doc wrote: »

Back story: Meet a lovely lady there last week and we hit it off and had a little kiss at the end of the night. Saw her once more during the week and we kissed again. Been invited round to her place for dinner tonight.

Any tips advice on how I should proceed in my wooing? How should I play it After Hours I know you guys will steer me on the correct course!

She didn't put out on the first night so this one's a keeper!

Bring a bottle of Lambrusco and a Romantica for dessert, you wont need the Romantica*



*Nor the Lambrusco.

lisaface

Doc wrote: »

Is that you? :eek::eek:(Anonymity is scary)


We have only been seeing each other a week so I dont really know yet.

Yes ,it's me! So answer the question!??



lol - if only I could genunely go along with this, aw it would have been fun!

latenia

Give yourself a good grooming down below.

Get nice wine (€25 minimum) and swot up on it from the internet beforehand so you appear sophisticated.

Bite your tongue when she puts on Adele or Coldplay while you're eating dinner.

Avoid all potentially controversial topics of conversation.

Doc

latenia wrote: »

Give yourself a good grooming down below.

Get nice wine (€25 minimum) and swot up on it from the internet beforehand so you appear sophisticated.

Bite your tongue when she puts on Adele or Coldplay while you're eating dinner.

Avoid all potentially controversial topics of conversation.

The sex better be worth it if I have to do this crap!:rolleyes:

K-9

latenia wrote: »

Give yourself a good grooming down below.

Get nice wine (€25 minimum) and swot up on it from the internet beforehand so you appear sophisticated.

Bite your tongue when she puts on Adele or Coldplay while you're eating dinner.

Avoid all potentially controversial topics of conversation.

80's Ballads, like Chicago and I think Huey Lewis and the News had one, definitely Phil Collins.

Inert obligatory quote from American Psycho here but that's all about the inserting you'll be doing, though this is from my 1998 dating book, chicks might dig chainsaws now.

Never worked for me, particularly singing the Monty Python "I'm a Lumberjack" song but times have moved on, women are more "adventurous" now.

Doc

K-9 wrote: »

80's Ballads, like Chicago and I think Huey Lewis and the News had one, definitely Phil Collins.

Inert obligatory quote from American Psycho here but that's all about the inserting you'll be doing, though this is from my 1998 dating book, chicks might dig chainsaws now.

Never worked for me, particularly singing the Monty Python "I'm a Lumberjack" song but times have moved on, women are more "adventurous" now.

There is nothing you said here that I understand.

dingdong1234567

Doc wrote: »

There is nothing you said here that I understand.

+1 wtf?

EKRIUQ

Tell her you've been a member of Boards.ie since 2000, that will impress her.

Aint Eazy Being Cheezy

Doc wrote: »

K-9 wrote: »

80's Ballads, like Chicago and I think Huey Lewis and the News had one, definitely Phil Collins.

Inert obligatory quote from American Psycho here but that's all about the inserting you'll be doing, though this is from my 1998 dating book, chicks might dig chainsaws now.

Never worked for me, particularly singing the Monty Python "I'm a Lumberjack" song but times have moved on, women are more "adventurous" now.

There is nothing you said here that I understand.

I also feel this way.

K-9

Doc wrote: »

There is nothing you said here that I understand.

That was my fear! Patrick Bateman would be in tears. Really you should watch American Psycho, its like a dating guide for dummies:[URL]="http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0144084/quotes"[/URL]

Do you like Phil Collins? I've been a big Genesis fan ever since the release of their 1980 album, Duke. Before that, I really didn't understand any of their work. Too artsy, too intellectual. It was on Duke where Phil Collins' presence became more apparent. I think Invisible Touch was the group's undisputed masterpiece. It's an epic meditation on intangibility. At the same time, it deepens and enriches the meaning of the preceding three albums. Christy, take off your robe. Listen to the brilliant ensemble playing of Banks, Collins and Rutherford. You can practically hear every nuance of every instrument. Sabrina, remove your dress. In terms of lyrical craftsmanship, the sheer songwriting, this album hits a new peak of professionalism. Sabrina, why don't you, uh, dance a little. Take the lyrics to Land of Confusion. In this song, Phil Collins addresses the problems of abusive political authority. In Too Deep is the most moving pop song of the 1980s, about monogamy and commitment. The song is extremely uplifting. Their lyrics are as positive and affirmative as anything I've heard in rock. Christy, get down on your knees so Sabrina can see your asshole. Phil Collins' solo career seems to be more commercial and therefore more satisfying, in a narrower way. Especially songs like In the Air Tonight and Against All Odds. Sabrina, don't just stare at it, eat it. But I also think Phil Collins works best within the confines of the group, than as a solo artist, and I stress the word artist. This is Sussudio, a great, great song, a personal favorite.

Do you like Huey Lewis and the News?

Their early work was a little too new wave for my tastes, but when Sports came out in '83, I think they really came into their own, commercially and artistically. The whole album has a clear, crisp sound, and a new sheen of consummate professionalism that really gives the songs a big boost. He's been compared to Elvis Costello, but I think Huey has a far much more bitter, cynical sense of humor.

Yes it is! In '87, Huey released this, Fore, their most accomplished album. I think their undisputed masterpiece is "Hip to be Square", a song so catchy, most people probably don't listen to the lyrics. But they should, because it's not just about the pleasures of conformity, and the importance of trends, it's also a personal statement about the band itself.
[raises axe above head]

Chuck Stone

Ask her if she would mind wearing the carcass of a dead sheep during sex.

haminka

latenia wrote: »

Give yourself a good grooming down below.

Get nice wine (€25 minimum) and swot up on it from the internet beforehand so you appear sophisticated.

Bite your tongue when she puts on Adele or Coldplay while you're eating dinner.

Avoid all potentially controversial topics of conversation.

Define good grooming. As a woman, I'd expect the man to have clean underwear and have some basic hygienic habits already. If he puts his pants down though and is clean shaved and smells of perfume down there, I'd be asking myself whether he's not with me to get to my brother.

MyKeyG

Rope and chloroform OP. That'll put all doubts aside!

MyKeyG

latenia wrote: »

Get nice wine (€25 minimum) and swot up on it from the internet beforehand so you appear sophisticated.

In my opinion that would fall into the 'over doing it' category. She might think he's trying to be flash! No-one likes a show off.

old_aussie

Just be yourself

latenia

haminka wrote: »

Define good grooming.

Shaving the base of your shaft so your knob looks bigger.

mfceiling

I'm on a Promiss....


Don't take up her offer of a game of scrabble...

abouttobebanned

I'm still laughing at the idea of bringing her "pralines"

Katgurl

You've snogged her twice and she's invited you round for dinner? There is very little you can do to mess it up now. Don't be late, bring wine, look reasonably like you made an effort. If you watch a movie don't go on and on about the hot actress. Tell your date she looks nice. Don't get into a row.

forfuxsake

haminka wrote: »

dress nice and clean but don't overdo it
bring some decent wine and pralines and flowers
watch for her signals if you get lucky tonight
offer to help with meal prep and clean-up afterwards

good luck

Or do something a little less gay like turn up in a pink leather catsuit with your mate's muck in your hair.

Better to be a man's man and act like you couldn't give a toss whether she fcuks you or not, If this fails whip it out with the classic:
'well, 'it ain't gonna suck itself' maybe tapping it against her cheek.

mattjack

haminka wrote: »

dress nice and clean but don't overdo it
bring some decent wine and pralines and flowers
watch for her signals if you get lucky tonight
offer to help with meal prep and clean-up afterwards

good luck

Katgurl wrote: »

You've snogged her twice and she's invited you round for dinner? There is very little you can do to mess it up now. Don't be late, bring wine, look reasonably like you made an effort. If you watch a movie don't go on and on about the hot actress. Tell your date she looks nice. Don't get into a row.

I don't think its his wife.

GASMANN

old_aussie wrote: »

Just be yourself

lol

jack presley

old_aussie wrote: »

Just be yourself

That's the last thing anyone who posts here should be doing!

POKERKING

When all else fails ask her does she she want to play Rape?

When she inevitably says "No"

Reply with "That's the spirit" and go to town on her,,,,,,:):)

foxyboxer

Don't talk about Politics, Religion or Football.

Unless she offers something like this "...what's the story Doc with Liverpool?, I mean I know King Kenny is a legend, but at what point does a fan lose patience with a losing streak in the league?" :eek: :cool:

foxyboxer

Also, thank her for a lovely meal even if it's shoite.

studiorat

Rohypnol works for me...

corktina

to hell with the sex, whats she cooking?

Trankton

The naked man....works 2 out of 3 times!!!

http://vimeo.com/23788864

BASHIR

Go to her facebook and photoshop your head onto all her pictures then make a scrapbook, she'll love that!!!

skinny90

Buy wine dessert the whole works but after dinner whip out the receipt and ask her to pay her half,you'll definitely get the ride then....

Sykk

Tell her she smells like your ma

tempura

I don't know why the fcuk you think you have to try so hard !

She's probably dying for it as much as you are !

:rolleyes: Men, you always think you have the upper hand with the little hard to get demure women, if only you knew !

Good Luck with your quest.

Mr.Biscuits

tempura wrote: »

I don't know why the fcuk you think you have to try so hard !

She's probably dying for it as much as you are !

:rolleyes: Men, you always think you have the upper hand with the little hard to get demure women, if only you knew !

Good Luck with your quest.

The first line of your post contradicts the third.

Born to Die

Learn to spell "promise" your version implies she is a prostitute. :pac:

forfuxsake

Born to Die wrote: »

Learn to spell "promise" your version implies she is a prostitute. :pac:

All sex is prostitution

beco2010

forfuxsake wrote: »

All sex is prostitution

yes but some are cheaper then others NICE!!

AboutTwoFiddy

lisaface wrote: »

I'm laughing at some of the replies, classical! - Doc, it kind of depends, is she your next one nighter/fcuk buddy ,or are you actually into her and want to see where this will go!?

Doesn't matter if he wants to see her or just wants a fcuk buddy. He should lob it into her regardless.

NiallFH

MyKeyG wrote: »

Rope and chloroform OP. That'll put all doubts aside!

But then he will be tied up and knocked out, he wont get laid that way