Living alone vs the alternative

holystungun9

44leto wrote: »

How about my friend that are handcuffed and locked in the basement.

Hope you have better luck with the cops that I did. They wouldn't accept my definition of friendship. Oh well, I have others.

Born to Die

Elvis_Presley wrote: »

They say a picture says a thousand words. I'll let you guess what my answer to this question is.

Third one says it all. I cleaned everywhere about 4 days ago.

As tough as it can be at times with the mortgage, this is why I am glad I bought a house.

Raminahobbin

I have never lived with friends or a random collection of housemates, but I have lived with my ex and am currently living alone for over a year. I absolutely LOVE it! Maybe it's just in contrast to living in the same house as someone when it's a toxic relationship, but I love the peace I have now.

I love coming home to a house that is exactly how I left it, no messes or horrible surprises when I walk through the door. I love that, as a vegetarian, nothing in my kitchen has touched meat and I don't have to feel my stomach turn every time I open the fridge. I love that I can do what I want, when I want, without answering to anyone. I control everything in my house, and I don't have to compromise this

As I said, maybe I'm just contrasting things too strongly to what it's like in a bad relationship, and my experiences might not be half as bad if I lived with someone where things run smoothly, but I've just had an awful time of it and there's no way in hell I'd be back living with someone again in a hurry!

Princess Peach

Elvis_Presley wrote: »

They say a picture says a thousand words. I'll let you guess what my answer to this question is.

Third one says it all. I cleaned everywhere about 4 days ago.

They really don't seem that bad to me Seen faaaaaar worse I have!

Elvis_Presley

Princess Peach wrote: »

They really don't seem that bad to me Seen faaaaaar worse I have!

I wish it was possible to post smells.

Princess Peach

Elvis_Presley wrote: »

I wish it was possible to post smells.

I am so glad that is not possible in After Hours.

44leto

Elvis_Presley wrote: »

They say a picture says a thousand words. I'll let you guess what my answer to this question is.

Third one says it all. I cleaned everywhere about 4 days ago.

I am actually very comfortable with disorder and untidiness even some dirt. The cops would never mistake me for a serial killer, perhaps they may get suspicious if they met my friend who like to be chained in the basement.

Elvis_Presley

44leto wrote: »

I am actually very comfortable with disorder and untidiness even some dirt. The cops would never mistake me for a serial killer, perhaps they may get suspicious if they met my friend who like to be chained in the basement.

So you're a serial killer? How much for 3 flatmates?

Dudess

Princess Peach wrote: »

They really don't seem that bad to me Seen faaaaaar worse I have!

Yeah, same here. And I'm always cleaning/tidying. Looks like quite a nice gaff actually, if in need of a shine-up. Looks like it would be pretty easy to have it looking lovely - just a good clean would be sufficient. But I suppose not so easy to do this when you're living with lazy-arses, and as the poster says, the smell... :-/

44leto

Elvis_Presley wrote: »

So you're a serial killer? How much for 3 flatmates?

LOL

For the disrespect of their bikes a cup of tea.

secretambition

gurramok wrote: »

Here's the real fact of living on your own.

You need your own privacy at times(yes) but having that day in day out without any friends or family visiting can damage you long term. Think of it like an elderly person whose only visit is home help once a week or talking to the cat or dog on a regular basis, you'd crack up.

Humans need each other company now and then, its human nature

You are allowed to go out and have friends and family over as much as you like.

As to people needing privacy, people need it in very different amounts. There is such a thing as being an introvert, which does not mean there is something wrong with the person contrary to popular belief. Extroverts are energized by the company of others, but introverts often find it draining. Some people find making small talk with others too much to face after a long day. For many people the perfect privacy/socializing balance is achived much more practically by living alone and meeting up with others or having them over regularly.

Elvis_Presley

44leto wrote: »

LOL

For the disrespect of their bikes a cup of tea.

The upside down one's mine! Changing the tube then selling it. Fancy killing three flatmates for a red bike with a new tube?

Elvis_Presley

Dudess wrote: »

Yeah, same here. And I'm always cleaning/tidying. Looks like quite a nice gaff actually, if in need of a shine-up. Looks like it would be pretty easy to have it looking lovely - just a good clean would be sufficient. But I suppose not so easy to do this when you're living with lazy-arses, and as the poster says, the smell... :-/

Its a grade one listed 1850s Georgian granite tenement flat. Gorgeous building, amazing features, just scummy flatmates.

Dudess

Viewed a similar type apartment in Dublin a few years back - and while it looked all right on the surface, take a closer look and it was mingin'. Dusty as fuk, really musty, and the bathroom was just vile. Really nice apartment though - I'd have licked it into shape if it were mine (not literally of course).

The Big Red Button

gurramok wrote: »

Here's the real fact of living on your own.

You need your own privacy at times(yes) but having that day in day out without any friends or family visiting can damage you long term. Think of it like an elderly person whose only visit is home help once a week or talking to the cat or dog on a regular basis, you'd crack up.

Humans need each other company now and then, its human nature

But if you're working full-time, you see plenty of people during the day. And you can always arrange to meet friends and family at evenings/weekends. It's so lovely to be able to have perfect uninterrupted peace and quiet in your own home when you want it.

I've never lived alone, but I definitely would if I could afford it. At the moment, I'm living with a girl who I get on very well with, but we are on completely opposite schedules. We generally only cross paths once or twice a week, for a few minutes at a time. We both have our own bathrooms (and bedrooms, obviously), and we both keep the common areas clean and tidy all of the time. So it's the perfect set-up really, it suits both of us - it's almost like living alone, but we're both saving a lot of money.

Robdude

It's hard for me to fathom intentionally living with someone (other than a spouse) unless you had no choice. Maybe it's a cultural thing, but I see zero benefit in it.

If you want to spend time with your friends or family, go for it. Getting roommates because you want a social connection seems....weird....to me.

Of course, since I'm a poor immigrant, I can't afford my own place much longer - so I'll be moving in with roommates. I'm not looking forward to it.

Elvis_Presley

Dudess wrote: »

Viewed a similar type apartment in Dublin a few years back - and while it looked all right on the surface, take a closer look and it was mingin'. Dusty as fuk, really musty, and the bathroom was just vile. Really nice apartment though - I'd have licked it into shape if it were mine (not literally of course).

This place has the potential to be a palace. But f*ck it, it's cheap, central and I've a strong immune system!

Dudess

chatterpillar wrote: »

But if you're working full-time, you see plenty of people during the day. And you can always arrange to meet friends and family at evenings/weekends. It's so lovely to be able to have perfect uninterrupted peace and quiet in your own home when you want it.

I've never lived alone, but I definitely would if I could afford it. At the moment, I'm living with a girl who I get on very well with, but we are on completely opposite schedules. We generally only cross paths once or twice a week, for a few minutes at a time. We both have our own bathrooms (and bedrooms, obviously), and we both keep the common areas clean and tidy all of the time. So it's the perfect set-up really, it suits both of us - it's almost like living alone, but we're both saving a lot of money.

Ideal IMO.

When I was younger though, I just wanted huge house-shares - the more, the merrier. Lived with five people at one point - not including boyfriends visiting. I loved it!

But then I gave up such commie ways and became a selfish kunt... :cool:

secretambition

I once lived with seven others. It was a strange and unusual form of torture. I've lived alone and with others. When you live with a reasonable number of others, you get the chance to make tea and watch TV and just chill on your own regulalry because they won't all be home together, but when there are eight in the place, that never happens.

Paddy Cow

Robdude wrote: »

It's hard for me to fathom intentionally living with someone (other than a spouse) unless you had no choice. Maybe it's a cultural thing, but I see zero benefit in it.

If you want to spend time with your friends or family, go for it. Getting roommates because you want a social connection seems....weird....to me.

Of course, since I'm a poor immigrant, I can't afford my own place much longer - so I'll be moving in with roommates. I'm not looking forward to it.

There's your benefit. House share saves money. Downside is you have to put up with others. It doesn't always work out with friends but moving in with strangers is a minefield. I've had loads of annoying flatmates but luckily atm I live with 2 people who are fairly sound.

Dudess

Far more people in their 30s and 40s are in house-shares nowadays than before - due to people being single later in life/not being able to afford to live alone.

saa

I thought I would be so happy living alone but a year on and it really gets at me, I like having someone I'm close to, to talk to but I hate having to share such a space with people I don't really like but I don't hate so every little thing they do is annoying and I'm never comfortable. Anyway living with others you need time apart but living on your own I feel that I actually do need time around people, not even talking just having someone around is nice so thats why I call the plumber/electrician/UPC guy around every second week and stare longingly at them, no I don't but it may be my future if I don't sort out my living situation!

Wattle

I think it's a question of temperament. Some people are just content with peace and quiet and they're own company. I've been living on my own for 10 years now and I would never go back to sharing even though it costs me financially. There's a mate of mine who's been living on his own since his girlfriend moved out. He can't hack it at all and has been hitting the bottle in a major way for years now.

44leto

saa wrote: »

I thought I would be so happy living alone but a year on and it really gets at me, I like having someone I'm close to, to talk to but I hate having to share such a space with people I don't really like but I don't hate so every little thing they do is annoying and I'm never comfortable. Anyway living with others you need time apart but living on your own I feel that I actually do need time around people, not even talking just having someone around is nice so thats why I call the plumber/electrician/UPC guy around every second week and stare longingly at them, no I don't but it may be my future if I don't sort out my living situation!

The solution to that is the cooking sherry.

mconigol

secretambition wrote: »

You are allowed to go out and have friends and family over as much as you like.

As to people needing privacy, people need it in very different amounts. There is such a thing as being an introvert, which does not mean there is something wrong with the person contrary to popular belief. Extroverts are energized by the company of others, but introverts often find it draining. Some people find making small talk with others too much to face after a long day. For many people the perfect privacy/socializing balance is achived much more practically by living alone and meeting up with others or having them over regularly.

This is me. Nothing like being able to go home and not have to make small talk with strangers.

OneArt wrote: »

I can't wait until I can walk around the place naked though...

This is the primary benefit however

beks101

I live alone abroad and I love it.

I'm pretty outgoing, have an active social life and I'm never short of people to meet or things to do, but I cherish my personal space and love not having to work my plans around housemates - which I found was often the case with people I've lived with in the past.

Dinner plans go out the window because someone else is busy in the kitchen, lazing in front of the TV is ruled out because someone else got there first, can't have friends over coz someone else is taking over the living room...even things like wanting to spend some time to myself in my room would often be scuppered because I feel like I'm being rude and anti-social...I just find it can be a headache, no matter how great your housemates are.

I think being comfortable in your own company is as important as having a healthy social life and I get a good balance by living on own. Plus I get cranky and miserable if I don't get enough personal space, this keeps me sane tbh.

hairyprincess

In my late teens and early twenties I lived with others. I hated looking at their dirty dishes in the sink, open a press and not a glass or cup in there; all growing mould at various stages in bedrooms.

Give me my own peace over that any day. I can easily have people over or go and visit people and I'll always have my own wee corner to come back to. I can leave my dishes in the sink and walk around naked, watch what I want on tv; and take the batteries out of the remote control any time :cool:

Dudess

saa wrote: »

I thought I would be so happy living alone but a year on and it really gets at me, I like having someone I'm close to, to talk to but I hate having to share such a space with people I don't really like but I don't hate so every little thing they do is annoying and I'm never comfortable. Anyway living with others you need time apart but living on your own I feel that I actually do need time around people, not even talking just having someone around is nice so thats why I call the plumber/electrician/UPC guy around every second week and stare longingly at them, no I don't but it may be my future if I don't sort out my living situation!

Maybe look for a share with just one other person, but take your time about it until you find someone who'd be ideal to live with? Not easy, but not impossible.

Sinfonia

I love having my own flat, mostly because I don't have to share a kitchen or bathroom, but I'm in a house that contains four separate apartments, and the tenants of the other three are all sound (one of whom I knew before moving in), so there's still friendly people about.
In short, my ideal is living alone while being friends with neighbours.

jokettle

I absolutely love living on my own. I had housemates throughout college, then lived alone for a year, then had a housemate for about 9 months and I'm finally living alone again. It's bloody brilliant. I can have things as clean or as messy as I want them, I can watch what i want on tv without ever being subjected to the hell that is the E! channel of America's Next Top Model or One Tree Hill. Right now I'm watching Rambo for the first time and loving it; none of my previous housemates would have allowed that because "ew! That's a BOY'S movie!!"

Urgh, other people.

The Big Red Button

Dudess wrote: »

Ideal IMO.

When I was younger though, I just wanted huge house-shares - the more, the merrier. Lived with five people at one point - not including boyfriends visiting. I loved it!

But then I gave up such commie ways and became a selfish kunt... :cool:

I grew up in a small house as part of a family of nine, where I always shared a bedroom with a sibling or two. And then, when I started college, I was living in a house with eight of us there (seven of us sharing one bathroom), and six of the eight were boys, and I had to share a small bedroom with the only other girl for the year ... it was awful! Even though she was (and is) a very close friend ... I could never do that again.

As soon as I got used to having my own bit of space, I just wouldn't/couldn't go back to sharing a bedroom or bathroom. Even when I (very briefly!) lived with a boyfriend in the past, it was in a massive three-bed three-bath duplex apartment (but it was in the country, so it was absolutely dirt cheap!)

I'm just SO particular now about having my own personal space. I'm not antisocial, but when I'm at home, I just want to have time and space to myself!

I fled the nest in March 2007 and moved into a house share with about 6 others. I absolutely hated it. As a result I've lived alone since May 2008. I've always been introverted so like my own company and space. On the other hand it can get terribly lonely.

jokettle

chatterpillar wrote: »

I'm just SO particular now about having my own personal space. I'm not antisocial, but when I'm at home, I just want to have time and space to myself!

That pretty much sums it up for me.

--LOS--

If I didn't live with my oh I would live alone if I could afford it, ****ing hate housemates and I actually like being on my own.

saa

Dudess wrote: »

Maybe look for a share with just one other person, but take your time about it until you find someone who'd be ideal to live with? Not easy, but not impossible.

I can't enjoy living alone as I have a partner I used to live with but haven't for a a few years because of work/public transport not being near my place where I can't move out of, living alone is not as bad as house shares I had but it depends what kind of person you are maybe I'm just needy and haven't learned to enjoy my own company yet :>