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H.G.V. drivers rules of the road.

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  • 31-03-2012 6:23pm
    #1
    Attie
    Closed Accounts Posts: 495 ✭✭


    H.G.V Lorry Driver Highway Code Test.

    When should you use your lights.?? To warn your mates of speed traps.

    When do you overtake on the left.?? When the Ba$***d in front won't move.

    What documents do you take on the road.?? Daily Mirror, Sun, Playboy/Girl, Forum.

    When must you stop.?? To have a sla$h or leg over.

    Where should you not park.?? Outside the house of the woman your heaving it of with.

    What would you expect to see on a rural road.?? Rural tarmac.

    How many types of pedestrian crossings
    are there.?? Two. Those that make it and those that don't.

    What is the correct procedure for over taking
    on a motorway.?? Foot hard down, eyes shut and smile.

    When should you use the fast lane on the motorway.?? When going home on a promise.

    What do you do in the event of a breakdown the motorway.?? Leave the Fu****g thing and hitch a lift home.

    What does a yellow box junction mean.?? They have run out of white paint.

    What do broken white lines mean on the road.?? Careless novice.

    What dose the highway code say about tyres.?? Use only round ones.

    What must you cheque leaving a building site.?? That you have enough timber under the sheet to build a kitchen.

    What do double yellow lines on the roadside mean.?? A Chinese take away.
    Congratulations on passing your H.G.V. test


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