''I don't mind''

Balarrr Didiarr

Find I say too much when someone asks for example ..what d'you wanna do? / would you like turkey or ham for dinner? / what time do you wanna meet etc etc. my reply is often ''I don't mind''. Is this sort of indecisiveness annoying to people? I try to cut it out as much as I can but catch myself doing it. My partner does it too, so can take a long time to get things done

Iang87

I suppose so

krudler

yes, especially in relationships.

"wanna go to the cinema?"
"I dont mind...do you?"
"yeah you pick the movie though"
"I dont mind, what do you want to see?"


gaaah! just make a decision!

Gee Bag

Whatever

The King of Moo

Balarrr Didiarr wrote: »

Find I say too much when someone asks for example ..what d'you wanna do? / would you like turkey or ham for dinner? / what time do you wanna meet etc etc. my reply is often ''I don't mind''. Is this sort of indecisiveness annoying to people? I try to cut it out as much as I can but catch myself doing it. My partner does it too, so can take a long time to get things done

I don't know. What do you think?

Generally, people prefer decisiveness over indecisiveness, but you shouldn't overdo it and become overbearing.

hairyprincess

Yes it's annoying!!!

I went on holidays with a workmate years ago and she kept saying it the whole week. Seriously annoying.

Stop it now :mad:

stimpson

krudler wrote: »

yes, especially in relationships.

"Can I sleep with your sister/best friend/mother?"

chin_grin

Meh.

Princess Consuela Bananahammock

Balarrr Didiarr wrote: »

Find I say too much when someone asks for example ..what d'you wanna do? / would you like turkey or ham for dinner? / what time do you wanna meet etc etc. my reply is often ''I don't mind''. Is this sort of indecisiveness annoying to people? I try to cut it out as much as I can but catch myself doing it. My partner does it too, so can take a long time to get things done

Oh God, yes. Sorry, but it does. Especially when the indecisive one disagress with every deicision you make and then complains afterwards.

"What do you want to watch - A, B, or C?"
"I don't mind."
"A it is then."
"No, not A..."
"Okay, then, B."
"No...."
"C."
"You choose...."
"We're watching C, then."
(Three hours later)
"C was really crap - why did you pick C?"

Slippin Jimmy

I do it a lot. I never really knew how annoying it was until people started doing it around me. But then again is it rude to be making all of the decisions?

pickarooney

It's grand until they whinge about whatever decision you make.

longhalloween

What are you complaining about?

You get to do exactly what you want!!

krudler wrote: »

"wanna go to the cinema?"
"I dont mind...do you?"
"yes, lets go. What do you wanna see?"
"I dont mind"
"Great, Battleship it is!"

FYP

Dravokivich

hmm... s'pose I'm up for anything really like.

jokettle

I have a couple of friends who do this, and I think they do it in an effort to keep everyone happy and not cause any friction. For e.g. if we're going for dinner in a group, these 2 will never put forward a suggestion or disagree with anyone else's ideas. Maybe they see it as a path to an easier life, but I find it a bit sad that they're not secure enough in themselves to feel comfortable enough to voice an opinion.

Latchy

I prefer '' I don't mind '' over '' Ahhh....I think I'll just sit on the fence with this one '' anyday .

Nyan Cat

I'm very decisive but I mean it when I say I don't mind, I really don't. But if it's something I do wanna do (for example) I'll say I do. Years ago my granny asked did I want a picture she had (I was 10-11) I said I don't mind (really I didn't want it but didn't wanna hurt her feelings) she said she bloody hates that because it's like 'i don't care' which I suppose was true in that instance! But ever since I never say I dont mind when the answer is really no or I'd rather not.
Who says you can't learn from your elders?!

It doesn't bother me when people say I don't mind unless that's their answer to nearly every question

CardBordWindow

I often do it if someone offers to buy me a drink. I just say 'Surprise me! .......no gin'
I find it interesting to see what people bring me. Do they actually make an effort to be inventive, or play it safe and get a Guinness?

My name is URL

The simple solution is to not ask for anybody else's input :pac:

stimpson

CardBordWindow wrote: »

I often do it if someone offers to buy me a drink. I just say 'Surprise me! .......no gin'
I find it interesting to see what people bring me. Do they actually make an effort to be inventive, or play it safe and get a Guinness?

One rohypnol slammer coming up!

MadYaker

I hate indescisive people. In the most frustrating thing over listening to people bumbling the most simple of decisions.

Princess Consuela Bananahammock

My name is URL wrote: »

The simple solution is to not ask for anybody else's input :pac:

Regularaly making an intentional decision you know the other person will find horrible works too.

Funglegunk

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=rE8Ngk_Yrus

amacachi

I generally say it when I don't give a ****. As said though, when someone says it then vetoes every suggestion they deserve a slap.

Balarrr Didiarr

Maybe that's it I don't actually give a s**t a lot of the time, I'm not fussy and don't whine much. But it annoys me that it annoys others and when they say 'I don't mind' back we're going in circles

Princess Consuela Bananahammock

Balarrr Didiarr wrote: »

Maybe that's it I don't actually give a s**t a lot of the time, I'm not fussy and don't whine much. But it annoys me that it annoys others and when they say 'I don't mind' back we're going in circles

The other side of this is that you're not showing much character in terms of what you actually like.

I mean, how are other people suppose to know what you like if you never tell them or never express an interest?

preddy

Its called the Father Stone effect.

flanders1979

Its being considerate

44leto

You're easy going that's OK , the other side of that coin is worse, me for instance just a disagreeable stubborn tool.

Friel

Who in their right mind replies "I dont mind" to the question "Would you like Turkey and Ham?".

WoollyRedHat

Latchy wrote: »

I prefer '' I don't mind '' over '' Ahhh....I think I'll just sit on the fence with this one '' anyday .

Is that not the same thing

Gandhi

Ikky Poo2 wrote: »

Oh God, yes. Sorry, but it does. Especially when the indecisive one disagress with every deicision you make and then complains afterwards.

"What do you want to watch - A, B, or C?"
"I don't mind."
"A it is then."
"No, not A..."
"Okay, then, B."
"No...."
"C."
"You choose...."
"We're watching C, then."
(Three hours later)
"C was really crap - why did you pick C?"

My wife does this with food sometimes. Monotony through elimination:

"Lets get takeout tonight. What do you want?"
"Anything is fine"
"Thai?"
"Don't feel like Thai"
"Mexican?"
"Not in the mood for Mexican"
"Chinese?"
"Meh"
"Indian?"
"Nah"
"Well, I suppose that only leaves pizza, as usual"
"Again??? How come we always end up getting pizza????"
"Aaaaaaaahhhh!!!!"

MarthaMyDear

I always see this with my parents. My dad will ask what my mam wants to do, wants to have for dinner etc etc. She usually says "I don't mind" in a pissy voice then complains afterwards that he didn't pick the thing she wanted!

Then when she asks him something he usually says "I don't mind" because he actually doesn't mind. Which really annoys her too! Actually...I should probably point the irony out to her.....

Princess Consuela Bananahammock

Gandhi wrote: »

My wife does this with food sometimes. Monotony through elimination:

"Lets get takeout tonight. What do you want?"
"Anything is fine"

This is where a conversation like that would end with me. I'd have ordered the Thai it by the time you got to "Aaargh!".

You asked a question, you got a perfectly acceptable answer.

A0

Balarrr Didiarr wrote: »

Is this sort of indecisiveness annoying to people?

It might be, but I don't mind.

The_B_Man

Drives me up the ****ing wall!!! :mad:

al28283

The King of Moo wrote: »

Generally, people prefer decisiveness over indecisiveness, but you shouldn't overdo it and become overbearing.

YES HE SHOULD!

Mickey H

Red or black. It doesn't f***ing matter. Just make up your mind woman until we go. :mad:

--LOS--

Yes indecisiveness is annoying!
I'll admit I used to be pretty bad for that just out of shyness when I was younger.
I give out to my oh sometimes for being a bit like that, and I know I still do it too and it is born out of consideration for the other person, but there is a line between being nice and overly trying to please, always trying to do right by the other person, can get irritating. You have to stand up for yourself too. The problem is making someone else happy also makes you happy.

BazDel

It's funny how after a while you realise exactly which friends will say this and which will give a real answer. Sometimes you just have to take the initiative when people say it and just make the decision. Embrace the power! :P

I admit I say it quite a bit myself just to be considerate but I always try give a suggestion as well at least. Something like... "I don't mind, but maybe X or Y would be good" At least that way you can cop out without looking so unhelpful

Misticles

I always do it and it's something that really annoys me.

A: What do ya want to eat?
Me: I don't mind
A: Chinese?
Me: Oh ok
A: so not Chinese?
Me: No I don't mind
A: ok
Me: I kinda want chipper
A: why didn't you just say!


That's how long it takes me to voice a decision. I know what I want but I think I'm being polite in letting the other person decide and let them think I'm not a fuss pot but I actually am.

EGAR

My OH drive me demented by *not being hungry at all* and then ending up eating half the food from MY plate, one of theses days.... one of these days....:D

problemchimp

Iang87 wrote: »

I suppose so

Father Stone

Doc

I say I don’t mind quite a lot because I am pretty easy going and I geniality don’t care one way or the other over little stuff like do I want to go to one bar or the other or have pizza or Chinese. It’s not about being indecisive because when I do want to do something I say but if it doesn’t bother me either way then I say I don’t mind and let the other person chose their preference I’m happy to go with that. If they say I don’t mind either then I might randomly chose one but I really don’t mind doing the other.

I don’t like situations were everyone is saying I don’t mind and nobody is making a decision in that case I will usually say well lets go here then or lets do this, just to move things on.

MyKeyG

To be honest I'd always say I don't mind because I usually don't. Unless I was really really adamant about something I did or didn't want to do. So long as they have the decency to ask me I don't care what is I just like to hang out.

tan11ie

I have a friend that's so indecisive I've nicknamed her "will I or won't I"

problemchimp

tan11ie wrote: »

I have a friend that's so indecisive I've nicknamed her "will I or won't I"

I'd say you's have a great laugh.

tan11ie

problemchimp wrote: »

I'd say you's have a great laugh.

No It's no laugh out shopping with this girl

guitarzero

If you are a woman then its great! "So I was thinking tonight we spice things up with some role play first and then try an...", "Oh, sure, I dont mind".

On the other hand if you are a man then no woman will have you. It shows you weak minded idiot who should be weeded out of the gene pool by you simply acting like he doesnt exist cuz he's pretty laid back and woman love a man who is DECISIVE and knows what he wants so you dont have to make any serious decisions and is prepared to tell you "Hey b*itch, were doing role play tonight! Yea, put on that little outfit, hope you dont mind taking it up the rear!"

ShooterSF

guitarzero wrote: »

If you are a woman then its great! "So I was thinking tonight we spice things up with some role play first and then try an...", "Oh, sure, I dont mind".

On the other hand if you are a man then no woman will have you. It shows you weak minded idiot who should be weeded out of the gene pool by you simply acting like he doesnt exist cuz he's pretty laid back and woman love a man who is DECISIVE and knows what he wants so you dont have to make any serious decisions and is prepared to tell you "Hey b*itch, were doing role play tonight! Yea, put on that little outfit, hope you dont mind taking it up the rear!"

I guess that's the best time to hear "I don't mind."

Doc

Doc wrote: »

I say I don’t mind quite a lot because I am pretty easy going and I geniality don’t care one way or the other over little stuff like do I want to go to one bar or the other or have pizza or Chinese. It’s not about being indecisive because when I do want to do something I say but if it doesn’t bother me either way then I say I don’t mind and let the other person chose their preference I’m happy to go with that. If they say I don’t mind either then I might randomly chose one but I really don’t mind doing the other.

I don’t like situations were everyone is saying I don’t mind and nobody is making a decision in that case I will usually say well lets go here then or lets do this, just to move things on.

Same same.

If I have a specific preference I'll say it. But I often don't, I'm pretty laid back in that regard. And if noone minds I'll happily choose.

Susie_Q

This is how it should go:

Me: What takeaway do you fancy?

Other person: I don't mind.

Me: Grand so, I'll pick. *Takes takeaway menus into other room, chooses food and orders it without asking other person again*

Problem solved!