Why do you want to be thinner?

username123

McChubbin wrote: »

The only thing is, I have no idea where to start.

Ring that dietician.

The only advice I can give, which is usually what helps me, is dont try to change too much at once or you'll never stick to it.

McChubbin

Not to mention the fact that my mammy's taken up cake decorating and is testing out her buttercream-topped cupcake recipes on me. *wince*
I must resist but they're so tasty!
Why must everything that is bad for me taste so fecking delish?!

ChippingSodbury

McChubbin wrote: »

I know the feeling of being the fat friend. I have pictures on my Facebook page from where I went to a fancy dress party with a mate and oh sweet Chtulu, I look like a right pig standing next to my skinny little friend. Granted, she IS a dancer but that's no excuse.
The mission is clear: I need to get up off my ass and do something. The only thing is, I have no idea where to start.

Man here so don't bite my head off!

First of all, there are loads of fellas out there who like larger girls so don't put yourself down because you haven't met a fella yet, life is for enjoying when you're in your twenties, not necessarily time to settle down!!!

As with most things regarding women, I don't fully understand why women often have a "relationship" with food and an unhealthy obsession with how they are perceived by others: think about yourself, be happy with who you are, don't get bogged down with what you think (rightly or wrongly) others may think of you.

I'm certainly no expert on weight issues nor being really healthy but about two years ago I started exercising for the first time in 20 years. I started to go to boot camp and it nearly killed me at the start. Two years on and I still go and now I love it. I'm fairly fit and belly is under control. The people you meet at exercise classes etc. are the type of people that will help to motivate you and in my experience, nobody will put you down, the emphasis is on encouragement and it makes you feel so much better about yourself and gives you a great sense of achvement on completing the class.

Things like Weightwatchers etc. I think only highlight the problems and keep them to the frefront of your mind. It's a bit like Aesop's fable about the North Wind and the Sun http://ancienthistory.about.com/library/bl/bl_aesop_northwind_sun.htm . Browbeating you about food isn't going to change your attitute, getting encouragement from others just might...

Please consider exercise classes or that kind of thing before surgery or anything mad. If you decide on classes, it helps because it's on at the same time in a set routine so it's harder to think of a reason not to go and also consider paying in advance which is another incentive: once you get into the swing of things, there will be no stopping you!!

Lia_lia

I don't want to be thinner. If anything I would like to put on weight! Well not put on weight, just be curvier. Need more boobs

Never been overweight, thankfully. I'm a size 8. Healthy eating has always been a big thing in my household. We have always had small portion sizes. I used to think I (and the rest of my family) are naturally thin but then realised when I went to college that people eat way wayyyyy to much. How do people eat so much without feeling sick?!

I have also always exercised a lot. At the moment I run twice a week and do taekwondo twice a week. And swim if I have time and walk most places.

If I eat too much (at once or just in general) I feel like crap, so I stop. Simples. I actually do put on and lose weight but very few people notice it because I'm tallish (just over 5'9" ) and carry weight well. I'm heavier than usual at the moment (58kg). Before Christmas I was 54kg which was a bit too small.

I have seen many people lose massive amounts of weights through healthy diet and exercise. None of that faddy diet shte. And even-though exercise is important, it's mostly about food when wanting to lose weight. It's just a simple matter of doing it really.

The majority of my female friends (well, all of them) feel the need to bring up weight in conversation EVERY DAY. What is the big deal? Eat less and you will be thinner. It's not rocket science. People are way too obsessed with weight, it's silly. No wonder they are with every magazine/newspaper/website/EVERYTHING with diet this and diet that plastered all over it. There are much more fun and interested things in life than weight control.

Sorry if I sound like a complete bitch.

LollieB

I'm currently at my heaviest weight and need to loose about 2 stone to be healthy again. I binge eat when I'm unhappy and I'm overweight because it's my barrier to keeping people (especially men) at an arms length. It's my excuse as to why I'm not in a relationship- in reality I'm just terrified of letting someone get to know all of me. I have believed myself to be unattractive & unloveable for so long, my 'fatness' was a physical justification of how I felt.

I've thought of myself as fat & compared myself to others since I was little. I picked this up from my mum- she used to ask me, "Am I as fat as her?" all the time when we were out & about. I look back at pictures of myself in my teens (there are very few pics) and I can now see a beautiful, slim teenager who was crippled with self esteem issues. I've since been through years of therapy on and off & have come to understand so much about myself.

When I was at my lowest weight a couple of years ago, I felt awful about myself. I lost it very unhealthily- excessive dieting, exercise and abuse of drugs to boot.

I'm at my heaviest now- and, due to finally accepting & being able to love myself, I have never felt more confident. I've also never had so much male attention. I've also made a huge effort to not body bash & especially not join in with my female friends in their body bashing- which is very hard!

I want to lose weight now for health reasons and to feel even more confident in myself. But I'm really wary about embarking on a fitness and weightloss regime because I don't want to revert back into my critical & punishing treatment of myself. I'm also terrified of not being able to use it as my excuse anymore for not letting anyone get close to me. So I'm in a bit of a catch 22 at the moment.

LegacyUser

Why do I want to be thinner
1. To be able to buy clothes in more than evans, anna harvery and other shops with big sizes only.
2. To have a man chat me up not as a dare or as a look and ****.
If you are an alco, have not had sex in 6 months, have just broken up from your girlfriend or are married I am not interested. I may be heavy but I have not lost my brain to go near the above which is all I seem to attract.
3. To hear people tell me I look good/ you have lost weight and know it true.
4. To go on a holiday flight and not having to ask for a seat belt extender.
5. To go to a social event with a man and not always on my own

Due to the above I joined Slimming World - I have have lost over a stone weight and I won't say I am always good on this but it is a good diet if you like food.

Princess Peach

One thing that worries me in some posts is that people feel unhappy at the weight they are. Do you really think you will be happy if you lose weight?

I just know for myself that every time I hit a goal weight, I wasn't happy and it wasn't enough and it got pushed back more until I would be happy, which never happened.

I gained a lot of weight last year trying to overcome my purging, and I'm for sure not happy at the weight I am now. But I wasn't happy when I was 2 stone lighter either. What bothers me most about it now is I know people have noticed my weight gain, as they were always very fast to compliment me on my weight loss.

And one reason I'd love to slim down again is for my clothes to fit me. When in my head I really know what I need to do is embrace it and just bloody buy new clothes instead or trying to change myself to fit them! I am trying to lose weight again, which is slow for me because of my past I need to be very careful with diets. But I know I won't be happy if I get back down to even my lowest weight, but I am still trying to do it. But at least in a healthy way this time

Sparklebutt

wivy wrote: »

Snap. I just feel so much more confident when I'm in good shape and toned up. I recently saw some pics of myself where I'd put on a bit of weight and it really really got me down...
have been tryin to tone up since and it really is a huge confidence booster.. esp when you get compliments from guys.. I know that could sound really shallow but I really feel how I look is strongly correlated with my self-esteem and my confidence.

I agree! I see old photos from before I gained weight and wish I was still that size. That said, I don't remember thinking I looked good back then. I was probably every bit as critical of myself then as I am now. Maybe (hopefully) once I lose the weight I'll feel differently. I've lost some of the weight already and there's nothing quite as satisfying as being able to fit into clothes that used to be too tight!

Giselle

I don't want to be thinner.If I could wave a magic wand, I'd be ten pounds heavier.

I'm always trying to gain weight, and I'd like to be able to do it without being told I'm 'lucky' or a skinny bitch, or rubbing people faces in it if I complain about it being a struggle.

I have no energy and I'm cold all the time if my weight falls too far, and putting it on isn't as simple as it seems. I feel physically ill if I eat larger portions, or more often, and I find the sort of food that puts on the weight unpalatable.

There's nothing lucky about that at all.

eviltwin

I am a few stone overweight but I don't want to be thinner...I want to be healthier. I want to know I can run for a bus without feeling like I am going to collapse. I want to know I can look forward to reaching my 60th birthday. I want to be a good example to my children.

Do I want to look good in my clothes...hell yeah! But thats a bonus. Its not the real reason I want to shift the pounds because even at a healthy weight I was never thin and I never will be.

In the meantime while I am working my way there I love myself and my body love handles and all.

Dudess

I don't want to be thinner - I actually like my shape. But, like most people, I'd like to firm up some bits - namely my tum and inner thighs. I love my ass, boobs and back though, and the shape of my legs (if not their wobble ).
Not interested in the scales, just how clothes fit. For this, I run and uphill-walk. I eat healthily but love my treats and booze. Try to limit them to the weekend though.
That said, I don't drink fizz, and I rarely eat chips, pizza, takeaways, bread. My weakness is desserts.

Logical Fallacy

Mars Bar wrote: »

I used to be between a size 8 and 10 when I started in secondary school. As time went on, I gave up more sports and ate more and the weight crept on. I remember weighing in at around 64kg in 5th year. I was between a 12 and 14 all throughout college until 3rd year and I put on a load of weight due to medication and generally being miserable. I was 68kg last April at my heaviest and for my 4ft11 frame, that was way too heavy.

I've worked hard it over the summer and now I'm playing football and working out and putting on muscle. I'm between 59kg and 60kg now. My aim is 55kg but depending on muscle, I could be 57kg and look good so I'm not too worried about numbers.

I've never done so much running around in my life and yet I'm not loosing weight according to the scales. However, my shape has changed for the better so I'm taking that as a positive.

I want to be healthy, I want to look good and I want my shopping experiences to be a lot less harrowing than they currently are! :pac:

Weight means nothing when you are training to be honest. If you are losing fat and gaining some muscle, the muscle weighs more than fat so a lot of people will have a static weight.

The best way to judge how things are going is to just get naked and stand in front of the mirror...do you look thinner, leaner, more shapely? If so...awesome sauce!

One of my favourite tricks is to take a photo once a month...because we live in our bodies and see them daily the small day to day changes slip past us, looking at a photo of ourselves 1, 2 or 3 months ago can really drive home just what our hard work is getting for us and can be really motivating.:)

Pembily

@ Lia_lia, I agree with you, I don't get how people can obsess all the time, I can't! I eat out and eat chocolate, but I just eat less. As you say it's not rocket science, eat less. Exercise is an extra aside. I lost 1stone after Christmas with a broken wrist, by just simply eating less.

Life is for living!

Princess Peach wrote: »

One thing that worries me in some posts is that people feel unhappy at the weight they are. Do you really think you will be happy if you lose weight?

I personally have been there, I lost weight, got to my goal weight and my life didn't change, I still felt crap and fat at times, sh!te still bothered me, I still got upset and there was no magic wand! I was somewhat happier BUT I thought things would drastically change, nothing magically changed.

I only want to be slimmer as I put on some weight after a horrible breakup, I am only doing it to be healthy, and to look good for myself.

Until you feel comfortable and confident in your own skin others won't see that either!

Princess Peach

I think the "eat less and be thinner" idea is severely over simplified.

If I eat less I get hungry. And its a known fact that most people who go on cleanses, crash diets, fad diets, eventually gain weight because they are too hard to stick to and binges often occur. And also because when you eat less than usual your body turns more of the energy into fat for storage.

The key is to eat healthily, not less. Make better choices. And I really think there needs to be balance. I know if I cut out all treats/ carbs or whatever eventually I will cave and binge.

But even eating healthily is over simplified due to people's relationship and bond with food. Its really not that easy for everyone to just give up junk and the bad foods they love. Just look at one page of the chat thread in this forum and its hard not to find a post of someone eating a treat and it has made them happy. Its an emotional attachment to food and it is much more difficult to break than just "I'll eat less to be thinner" for a lot of people. And it is much more difficult than quitting smoking or dumping a bad boyfriend, because you need food to live and you have built up this attachment your whole life.

Evelynmc

My advice is screw diets, eat what u feel like eating within reason/amount.. i eat a ton of chocolate and theres not a pick on me, i rarely exercise either, apparently in some people good quality choc can increase metabolism, i have my healthy cravings for food and unhealthy ones, i satisfy them all

Pembily

Princess Peach wrote: »

I think the "eat less and be thinner" idea is severely over simplified.

If I eat less I get hungry. And its a known fact that most people who go on cleanses, crash diets, fad diets, eventually gain weight because they are too hard to stick to and binges often occur. And also because when you eat less than usual your body turns more of the energy into fat for storage.

I have to disagree! I eat less now and I am not starving, I have never crash dieted or anything as I don't agree with starving on a diet as to me this is how I eat for life.

I don't see how it's over simplified - I don't need 2 potatoes with dinner, or anymore than half a small cup of rice, or a bar of chocolate everyday. I thought I did but then I realised portions are too big. I don't mean halving your portions in one day, today eat 1.5 potatoes, in a few weeks eat 1 etc!

Princess Peach wrote: »

The key is to eat healthily, not less. Make better choices. And I really think there needs to be balance. I know if I cut out all treats/ carbs or whatever eventually I will cave and binge.

Eating too much healthy food will make you put on weight! A person doesn't need 5 pieces of fruit a day for example. Subbing fruit for an unhealthy food is not much better, at the end of the day calories are calories!

Princess Peach wrote: »

But even eating healthily is over simplified due to people's relationship and bond with food. Its really not that easy for everyone to just give up junk and the bad foods they love. Just look at one page of the chat thread in this forum and its hard not to find a post of someone eating a treat and it has made them happy. Its an emotional attachment to food and it is much more difficult to break than just "I'll eat less to be thinner" for a lot of people. And it is much more difficult than quitting smoking or dumping a bad boyfriend, because you need food to live and you have built up this attachment your whole life.

Emotional eating is a huge problem, when sad it makes you "feel" better, when happy you treat yourself etc. This is the main problem, our bond with food.

Princess Peach

Congratulations on your weight loss Pembily, and I'm not trying to take it away from you in any way. But you said you don't understand people's trouble with weight loss, I'm just trying to explain it to you. Its not as simple for everyone to just cut down their portions, and everyone has different metabolisms and appetites and needs.

I hate the feeling of being hungry, I hate the feeling of having a meal and it not being enough. Cutting down portions does not work for me at all, because I'll just want to snack more a little while later.

Pembily

Princess Peach wrote: »

Congratulations on your weight loss Pembily, and I'm not trying to take it away from you in any way. But you said you don't understand people's trouble with weight loss, I'm just trying to explain it to you. Its not as simple for everyone to just cut down their portions, and everyone has different metabolisms and appetites and needs.

I hate the feeling of being hungry, I hate the feeling of having a meal and it not being enough. Cutting down portions does not work for me at all, because I'll just want to snack more a little while later.

I do understand peoples trouble with weight loss, believe me I do! I for one over complicate it A LOT! I have a slow metabolism and a big appetite, but I work on making it smaller but I don't let myself be hungry as then I will just eat lots and it's counter productive. The guys in college said I was always eating as I snack a lot, I find it the only way to keep me satisfied.

Suppose different strokes for different folks!

Mars Bar

Logical Fallacy wrote: »

Weight means nothing when you are training to be honest. If you are losing fat and gaining some muscle, the muscle weighs more than fat so a lot of people will have a static weight.

The best way to judge how things are going is to just get naked and stand in front of the mirror...do you look thinner, leaner, more shapely? If so...awesome sauce!

Definitely. I've noticed the difference in my clothes and that's good enough for me.

pinkhop

I don't want to lose weight but im currently trying to gain muscle.

I have always have been able to eat what I want and never put on a pound. Up until January of this year I used to eat a few bars of chocolate a day, fatty foods and very litttle fruit or veg.

While I had no fat on me the unhealthy living made me very tired all the time.
In the last 3 months that iv cut out chocolate and rubbish food (Im allowed the odd treat) and started running and doing weights the change in my mood and my energy levels has just been fantastic.

It's true what they say "A healthy body = A healthy mind"

My aim is to tone up completely.. to have that "Beach body" look going on ! I want to look at myself and think WOW (im already looking at myself in a whole new positive light )

Saying all that it is quite hard to motivate myself every evening when I come in from work to hit the gym. As pathetic as it might be theres one saying that hits a cord with me eveytime I think about slacking off "Looking good is the best revenge"

Tea-a-Maria

Right now,I’m happy with my weight on a scales,but not necessarily with how I look,if that makes any sense. I’d like to be a bit more toned,I’m very paranoid about my wobbly legs and stretch marks on my hips.I didn’t think you got them unless you were pregnant,but more fool me! :eek:I weigh about 8 ½ stone, versus about 10 ½ when I started college. I think a large part of the loss is due to walking in and out everyday, it’s the most exercise I’ve gotten in years. :P


It’s strange,I’m the lightest I’ve ever been in years, but by the same token I fret more about calories and healthy eating now.At one level, it makes me a bit sad that I can’t just enjoy a Chinese as celebration food without feeling a little but guilty afterwards, but I feel like it’s a decent trade off when I’m much happier with what I see in the mirror.


I guess maybe it’s because now that I am that bit slimmer I want to try and keep it that way. I absolutely hate it when old photos of me go up and I really want to avoid going back to looking like that! I’m well aware I’ll won’t be much smaller than I am without absolutely starving myself,I don’t have as much weight on my hips now and you can’t shrink your hipbones!I just need to start loving my curves a little more.:pac:


So yeah,I guess I am more or less happy with my weight as is.In my mind, it’s linked to me being more happy in myself and feeling more attractive./ramble

Mugatuu

Like another poster Im sick of being the fat friend.. its ****e! i'd also like to stick it to the girls I went to school with who gave me grief over my weight! I got tagged in photos of myself on a night out and felt sick looking at how bad id let myself go!! It's given me the kick I needed to loose the weight so I've cut down on junk food, up'd my fruit and veg intake and am walking between 4 and 5 miles a day! Bought myself an outfit that id going to work my ass off to get into for September! Loosing the weight is slowly but surely making me feel happier and my self-esteem is improving

WesternNight

Princess Peach wrote: »

Sooo much talk of weight loss and diets in the Ladies Lounge. What your goal weight is, how many points you ate today, you want a takeaway but you can;t have it, you had a takeaway and now feel guilty.

What are your reasons to want to lose weight? Is it to be healthier because you believe you are overweight, is it because you feel unhappy with how you look, do you compare yourself to other girls?

I want to lose weight for all the reasons you mentioned there plus a few more.

I've been overweight (by quite a bit) since I was a kid. At this stage it's pretty much all I know. I don't know what it's like to be a normal, healthy weight. Which I guess is why I find it so difficult to lose weight - being a normal weight would be so alien to me. I know it would be amazing; I know I'd feel so much better in so many ways - I guess I just don't know *how* to be slim. But that's all by the by.

I do want to lose weight for health reasons - particularly to try to alleviate a recurring back problem. I also want to lose weight so that I can feel comfortable. I'm very aware that my self-image is wrapped up in my weight to a large extent, and I feel that when my weight isn't a physical issue anymore, it'll be much easier to deal with the emotional issues that go along with it (though really they'll likely be dealt with alongside one another). I also want to lose weight because I want to feel more comfortable in social settings. I want to mingle, to perhaps meet a potential new boyfriend. I want to be able to attend job interviews without worrying that my weight will be a reason for people not to hire me. For me it's as much about personal/emotional issues as it is about practical real world ones.


That's a bit of a tangent, sorry about that

The Big Red Button

I just want to lose weight because I know that the weight I'm at now is not my natural, normal weight. I'm a couple of stone overweight, mostly due to having been stuck in bed sick for a few months last summer, and I haven't really made enough of an effort since then to lose the weight.

Put it this way - if I was eating really healthily and exercising, and was still the size I am now, I'd be totally happy with it, and accept it as my "correct" size. But I haven't been eating healthily recently, or exercising enough. So my main motivation is really to get healthy, and to get into a good routine, more than anything else.

Also, I can't enjoy clothes shopping these days, as I see the way I am now as a temporary thing - I really do not plan on staying at the size I'm at now for too long! So buying new clothes seems a bit of a waste of money.

Wonderful woman wrote: »

If you are an alco, have not had sex in 6 months, have just broken up from your girlfriend or are married I am not interested. I may be heavy but I have not lost my brain to go near the above which is all I seem to attract.

The bit in bold ... why on earth would that bother you?! Just curious!

Lia_lia

Princess Peach wrote: »

I hate the feeling of being hungry, I hate the feeling of having a meal and it not being enough.

I'm different, I don't mind feeling hungry. I HATE feeling too full, but feeling hungry is grand. I just eat a tiny bit and then the hunger feeling goes away. It's all about eating small amounts regularly for me anyway! Can't go too long without eating either because I would just faint. Could never do a fast for charity or anything like that...

LegacyUser

Princess Peach, I've always admired your honesty about your struggles with food and body image. I have struggled with the same things for years, and even though this is a fairly anonymous forum I still feel that I have to go unregistered, mostly because I am ashamed.

I've felt fat for as long as I can remember. As a child I was tall for my age, people often assumed I was two years older than I was, but I just felt fat. When I was ten or eleven an aunt said I was going through a 'puppy fat' phase, which confirmed everything I already thought. I was an early developer, and hated having to wear a bra before any of my friends did. I went on my first diet at around 12, my mother was on Weight Watchers and I would borrow the booklets from her handbag and read them. I started purging when I was 13/14. I was miserable in school, and my first boyfriend made some comment about me eating chocolate and how he "wouldn't want a fat girlfriend". Maybe it was his attempt at a joke, I don't know, but I took it to heart.

When I was in school, on top of the purging (which came and went in phases - sometimes I'd be fine for months, sometimes I'd be doing it three or four times a week) I also tried so many diets (Weight Watchers, Atkins, smoothie diet, Gillian McKeith etc). I look back now at pictures of me as a teenager and I can't believe I thought I was fat. There are pictures of me on a family holiday aged about 14, wearing a sarong over a bikini because I couldn't bear for anyone to see my legs, yet I can see my ribs.

Now I really am fat, I'm a size 16 (pushing 18) and I am disgusted at the sight of myself. It looks on the outside like I have a fairly normal diet, but I eat in secret, hiding the wrappers and throwing them away in public bins because then it's almost as if I didn't eat them at all. I don't throw up as much as I used to, but years of practice have made me a master at hiding it from the people I live with. I avoid photographs, but when I am forced to be in them I hide behind others. I don't wear skirts. When I'm out I pretend that I don't like dancing, but in reality I am just too self-conscious to draw attention to myself. Half the time I make excuses not to go out in the first place. I feel like there's no point in dressing up and putting on makeup because I will still be fat underneath it all. I also make excuses to avoid things like trips to the beach, because I couldn't bear to get into a swimsuit in front of people I know. If people say that I look nice, I assume that they just feel sorry for me. I never look nice. When I see pictures of myself it makes me want to vomit some more. Most people would never even realise that it bothers me so much, as I keep it all in. I'm ashamed that I've let myself get to this stage but I honestly don't feel like I can ever lose it all, its just too much.

LollieB

I was awake all last night thinking about my issue with my weight after I posted here. All sorts of memories came flooding back & I was actually crying about how trapped I feel in myself. Like the Arcade Fire song, my body is a cage. I was worried about responses to my post as well- as if my feelings/ words weren't valid. I don't think I've been that honest with myself or with anyone else in a long time.

I had another binge today & felt so awful afterwards that I just went to bed for the afternoon. Straight after I got up, I booked myself in with a counsellor that deals specifically with eating distress (my old therapist didn't focus too much on this area as she wasn't experienced with it). I have a consultation tomorrow so I'm getting the ball rolling straight away. Just wanted to say thanks to everyone who has contributed here- reading everyone's experiences, feelings and different perspectives makes me feel more 'normal' in myself & makes me feel less alone!

Mugatuu

LollieB wrote: »

I booked myself in with a counsellor that deals specifically with eating distress (my old therapist didn't focus too much on this area as she wasn't experienced with it). I have a consultation tomorrow so I'm getting the ball rolling straight away. Just wanted to say thanks to everyone who has contributed here- reading everyone's experiences, feelings and different perspectives makes me feel more 'normal' in myself & makes me feel less alone!

Best of luck with the counsellor! You'll feel so much better talking to someone about it! Keep us posted on how it goes!

Ilyana

Princess Peach wrote: »

What are your reasons to want to lose weight? Is it to be healthier because you believe you are overweight, is it because you feel unhappy with how you look, do you compare yourself to other girls?
Try and take note of how often food/diet/weight/put downs come up in your conversations and thoughts, especially with other women.

I want to lose weight because I'm not skinny, and in my mind, skinny is the only way to be. I've always felt overweight, and until last year I always was overweight. Today I'm a size 10-12, at 5ft 1". I could stand to lose a good stone, or more. I have large-ish boobs, narrow shoulders, wider hips, a round bum and a small waist - a decent frame, but too much padding!
I went through a dark phase last year; I was on a pill which badly affected my state of mind, and I started restricting my calories to the point where I'd be proud of myself for eating only 600 calories for the day. Laxatives became my friends, carbs my enemies. I lost about half a stone, but I'd nearly cry walking through college, seeing all the gorgeous slim girls looking so happy. In reality I'm no bigger than a lot of them, but in my mind I was monstrous.
I came off that pill (the best decision I ever made), but the 'fat' feeling is lingering. I'm eating more now, with the inevitable result that I've gained a little weight. It's getting me down again, and in my warped mind I need to get back to my less than 1000 calories a day 'diet'.

I don't know if my 'relationship with food' warrants some kind of counselling, but I don't think it's at all healthy that I equate happiness with thinness. Wanting to lose weight is down to aesthetic reasons, not health ones. I know that's not good. I also take to heart what people say to me; when they compliment me on weight loss I feel great. When somebody close to me said I'd look better with a flatter stomach, it contributed to the events I've just written about.

So yeah, I do think I'd be happier if I lost weight, but I don't know how far I'd have to go to achieve this elusive happiness - or if I'd find it in a size 6 dress at all.

beks101

This is such a sore subject for me. Reading through the thread made me so sad, because I can identify with so many posts and it sort of hammers home how much this Goddamn fickle subject of weight and food has dominated my life and thoughts for...God, decades now. Forever.

A few years back my general dissatisfaction turned into something more sinister and I developed a full blown eating disorder, dropped a scary amount of weight, stopped eating meals and started exercising like no-one's business. I went away for the summer and came back virtually unrecognisable. My mother thought I was on drugs. The doctor took one look at me and sent me to an eating disorder specialist, and the recovery has been a long, complicated, painful, frustrating, one-step-forward-two-steps-back process.

Since then I've been wary of focusing on numbers, obsessing over scales and reading up about 'ideal' clothes size for my height, or the newest diet fad, and even reading people's posts here was a little triggering. I tend to obsess when I hear the numbers, a feeling of inadequacy and 'not good enough' overcomes me (the driving force behind my ED without doubt) and all I can think about is doing what it takes to make my numbers smaller.

I'm not overweight. I exercise regularly. I eat healthily most of the time, other times I just want cake. I'm an emotional eater and sometimes that takes over, other times food is purely functional and the surge in energy that I need to fuel my workouts is what spurs me on to eat what my body needs. I have boobs, I have an arse - I'm not meant to be skinny. It's not in my genes.

But this incessant, pervasive need to be thinner...it still has a hold on me. I'll be 27 in two weeks; I was eighteen when I first started dieting and I can't think of a significant period of time during all those years where I thought, 'yeah, this is good enough. I look good, I'll run with this.' I'm petite with great womanly curves, I've got strong legs that allow me to run and run and run every week and most importantly, I've been blessed with good health and virtually never get sick...it's just unacceptable to me that I should feel this way about myself.

It's unacceptable to me that eating distress and body insecurities plague so many women, maybe even most women in this day and age. Eating distress is a very real problem, it's more common than most people realise and it's a blight on modern society because of the conflicting messages we receive on a daily basis about how we should look. So much value and recognition is placed on being skinny in the media, especially for women, it by far overrides intelligence, talent or any other positive attribute that a woman can have, as something to aspire to. And yet in the same breath, female celebrities are heralded as being 'body beautiful' one week and 'scarily skinny' the next. I remember the sick sense of achievement I felt when I was a bag of bones with barely enough mental power to spell my own name, yet I looked like the bikini-clad models in the magazines with their ribs on show so at least I had won on that front.:rolleyes: I was a miserable, mentally ill, depressed mess, and for the glory of a few visible bones? Fuck that.

And yet, it's not about simply being skinny. I can read between the lines on a lot of posts here and I've recognised my own way of thinking in a lot of them. The if only I was thinner thing. It can be something tangible to focus all your negative energy on. It's a way of projecting every horrible and miserable thought you have about yourself, and maybe every horrible and miserable thing you've experienced in your past, onto something visible, that can conceivably be 'fixed' with a healthy diet and a bit of exercise.

It can't. Personally, I believe a healthy approach to weight should be like a healthy approach to relationships - if you can't be happy on your own, you won't find happiness in a relationship. Similarly, if you can't accept your body as it is, and love every inch of it as it is, including the wobbly stomach and the cellulite on the backs of your thighs...you're not going to magically start loving it once you've whittled down a few sizes. You need to accept the imperfections and embrace them as a part of you. Maybe reducing them will occur naturally if you start taking care of your body, but maybe it won't - you have to love your body regardless. That much I know is true.

I'm just a work in progress on all of this. I get it, I get how symbolic my weight is and how I've manipulated my relationship with food to correspond with how I feel about myself. But all of that is just academic and I'm a creature of habit, like anyone else. I step on the scales and hate that it's not down where it was nine years ago, even though the 'me' now is ten times stronger and wiser than the miserable little skinny girl I was then. I still have my 'skinny' clothes, despite the fact that actually fitting into them is a scary thought for me.

I dunno. Exercise helps. It makes me feel strong and it makes me want to take care of my body that bit more. But I'm still struggling with all of this and I can only hope that some day I'll look in the mirror and appreciate what I have before it's gone. Life is so fucking short girls x

Daisies

LollieB wrote: »

, I booked myself in with a counsellor that deals specifically with eating distress (my old therapist didn't focus too much on this area as she wasn't experienced with it). I have a consultation tomorrow so I'm getting the ball rolling straight away. Just wanted to say thanks to everyone who has contributed here- reading everyone's experiences, feelings and different perspectives makes me feel more 'normal' in myself & makes me feel less alone!

Good for you, this is the first step. x x

Lia_lia

LollieB wrote: »

I booked myself in with a counsellor that deals specifically with eating distress (my old therapist didn't focus too much on this area as she wasn't experienced with it). I have a consultation tomorrow so I'm getting the ball rolling straight away.

Good luck with it

Princess Peach

Lia_lia wrote: »

I'm different, I don't mind feeling hungry. I HATE feeling too full, but feeling hungry is grand. I just eat a tiny bit and then the hunger feeling goes away. It's all about eating small amounts regularly for me anyway! Can't go too long without eating either because I would just faint. Could never do a fast for charity or anything like that...

Being hungry is kind of a fear of mine because of my habits. If I get too hungry for too long I'm more likely to binge. I think it came from times when I would purposely starve myself for long periods. I am constantly thinking about my next meal. If I'm going to the shop I need to eat in my house first so I'm not tempted to buy massive amounts of food. Sometimes I'm afraid to leave my house because the temptation is so high. And the feeling of being too full is bad for me also, as often I'll just keep eating till I can bring it back up.

Logical Fallacy

I've always had an interesting relationship with food. I ****ing loved it. One of the main reasons I used to train as hard as I did was because it meant I could eat a lot of food. It was great! For most of my life I have had excess bodyfat...at one stage when I was about 21-22 I was lean as hell, six pack and all that crap and while I felt happy about how I looked it didn't really make my life any different at all so after that I just learned how to be happy with what I was.

That sounds all enlightened but it actually isn't. When I was training hard I was quite strong...a damn site stronger that your average Joe. About 2 and a half years ago I hit a personal best deadlift of 561 pounds and that felt good. I was big, strong, covered in muscle and generally felt physically capable. Then all manner of crap went wrong. I started having panic attacks, I badly injured my neck and narrowly managed to avoid needing a corrective surgery to fix the problem, the panic attacks got worse and worse and turned into agoraphobia. Physically I was breaking down, constantly nauseous, always in some kind of pain with something, unable to train (which i despised, I didn't realise I was so dependent on what i could do physically for my self image). Then stuff started to go badly wrong with my intestines, they swole up and I couldn't figure out why as at that point there was so much random pain and generally horribleness it just felt like part of the overall problem as opposed to an individual problem of it's own. Eventually my guts had swollen to the point that I couldn't even rest my hand on my stomach as the pain was too much and there were times I honestly thought my stomach was just going to pop.

Something had to give so I gave up just about everything I could think of that I might be having an allergic reaction to and slowly introduced them back to find what was going wrong. Eventually I got it sorted, the swelling started to go down and I was officially no longer eating gluten, wheat or dairy. I eventually got well enough to get to the doctor (anxiety, depression and agoraphobia but a dent in my ability to get outside until I had dealt with the endless nausea problem ) and testing confirmed that I was indeed Coeliac and also a nice case of Diverticulitis for my trouble. Once again I dodged surgery for the Diverticulitis as anti-biotics managed to heal it up.

So by this point I am down about 8-9 months of my life but at least I have gotten to the root of the physical issues. It's been almost one year since I stopped eating foods that were bad for me, I no longer eat gluten, wheat or dairy...which pretty much cuts out everything that I used to enjoy. I eat 5 times a day as my system simply cannot handle large meals and my guts are going to take about 2 years to heal up from the damage done because of my confusion about what was indicative of the generally hell i was in and what was a specific problem. I eat the same meal at the same time every day. There are basically 3 meals I eat, which i cycle from meal to meal so i don't get bored. I prepare all the meals myself from products which i have learned over time are actually gluten free (a lot of stuff isn't, but says it is, go Ireland and our ****ty food labeling laws).

I don't get cravings for the stuff that I used to love, even when I have dreams that involve food I am always surprised that I always dodge food that might have gluten in it.

It's interesting as I used to be an emotional eater, then used heavy training as a way to justify my eating and now I am in a place where my eating is so regimented and controlled that it puts anything I have ever done in the past to shame due to simple necessity. At the age of 30 I am on course to once again have a six pack next year, roughly a decade after my last one...since I stopped eating the bad stuff the fat is literally just melting off me...because all I could eat for a while without pain was meat my muscle loss hasn't been as dramatic as i thought it would, even though the last 2 years have left me incredibly weak that is something I can work on and over time I will be able to get back to normal living and normal training.

The funny thing is that I never "wanted" to be thinner, i stopped caring about that kind of **** a long time ago but now as I find myself getting thinner I am struggling with the physical issues and weakness that I still have, the panic attacks and agoraphobia and all that other ****.

I have a pair of jeans in my bedroom that I bought before I got ill, they became way too small for me while I was ill and now I can't wear them because there is easily a spare 5-6 inches on them that I don't need. The idea that I am leaner than I was sits nicely in my head but it jostles with the concept that I am still ill, still weak and that food is no longer something I can enjoy...it's an enemy that wants to **** me over the second I let my guard down and something slips in that I shouldn't have eaten. Anyone who has ever had a full blown panic attack will know about the nausea that comes just before it, so when simply eating the wrong food can make you nauseous it's a bad combo.

Oh well.

Lola92

Peach thanks for starting this thread, it has really gotten me thinking.

Apologies in advance for the very long post!

I started on my first diet when I was 9, almost 10. Both of my parents have always been overweight for as long as I can remember, especially my dad. Although my mother was always quite slim and sporty before she had us, she used to play at a provincial and international level for a time. Anyway my mum and her friend started on weight watchers and it was decided that I should too. The first week I lost 5 pounds and I remember hearing my parents on the phone to relatives saying that I had lost more than either of them, how proud they were. But after a few weeks they gave up, so I did too. I guess I gained the weight back pretty soon, I don't consciously remember it though.

This pattern of my family starting on a diet/exercise regime and then giving up has continued for as long as I can remember. The feeling of being valued and noticed when I lost weight continued. Family members at parties would always comment on who had gained/lost and hearing this made it worse I guess. I was always a fat kid. I ate the exact same food as my siblings and did the same after school sports and activities but they were both slim. I remember thinking how unfair that was. Why was I the fat one? Why did I get teased? Why was I always the fat friend?

I remember being told by someone that I would 'grow into myself' when I hit puberty. It didn't happen. When I was in 6th class I was a size 10. 2nd Year a size 14. Since then I have fluctuated from around a 12 at my smallest to a 20, currently, at my largest.

I lost the wait at various times - when I got my first boyfriend at 15 I was down to a small 12, I felt really good about myself and was in a really good head space. Since then my weight has fluctuated in a pattern which I realised recently enough was strongly connected to the state of my mental health at the time. Looking back on my life I think I have been suffering with depression since I was about 10. Since such a focus was put on my weight I linked the two and measured my self worth by the scales.

In 2009 I was away working for the summer, I was exercising lots, eating fairly well and feeling really good about myself. I had lost some weight, though not by consciously trying, I was a size 14 at 5' 8. Around that time I met my current OH which probably added to my positive state of mental health. I went to a new doctor who asked me about my weight and what I planned on doing about it. I told the doctor that I had struggled with my weight and self esteem and I was finally happy with myself, just as I was.

While the doctor recognised that this was a positive sign she recommended that I lose about 2 stone. She was right, I was still overweight, but I took that to mean that being happy with myself wasn't good enough. I had to be good enough to everyone else too. So cue another bout of serious depression. I dropped out of my leaving cert year, isolated myself from my friends and started comfort eating in a big way. I was on hormonal contraceptives which didn't agree with me too.

Eventually after a couple of months with a counsellor I went back to a new school to keep studying and do my exams. I came off the pill I was on, joined a gym, started taking care of myself and focusing on my studies. Then I found out I was pregnant - overeating from stress and worry, hiding it from my parents in case I was kicked out before my exams were over. I stopped going to the gym and swimming in case anyone noticed. Got through the exams and back to work. I told my parents who were great but I was still quite isolated and lonely. All the support I had was from my OH, family and a couple of close friends. I put on more weight than I should have during my pregnancy and didn't lose it after she was born. I was in a new town, glad to be with my little family but lonely. I had no friends there, no family network, parents who disapproved but reluctantly accepted my choice. Depression set in again. I was eating from boredom, eating badly, not getting out exercising enough, feeling frustrated that my hopes for going to college might never come true.

A little over a year on I am in a really good head space, finally in college about to finish 1st year, happy with my life generally although I still have bad days. I am happy being me as I am. But at the same time I am heavier now then I ever have been. I know I need to lose the weight for my health and to be a good example to my daughter, to lead a healthy lifestyle as a good example for her. I don't want her to have my food issues, I don't want her to feel the way I do! I want to be able to run around after her for more than 10 minutes without starting to feel tired or feeling annoyed for the amount of energy she can have!

I have been planning this for months. I keep planning and planning. I think that I am afraid to really start in case I can't or I give up. I don't want to be stuck in a cycle of losing and gaining the same weight over and over again as my mother has been for the last 20 years. So yeah, I need to get the motivation and keep it. I have a great family of my own and an incredible supportive boyfriend who loves me as I am but I need to be happy to look in the mirror and be the healthy. I need the kick up my ass and somebody to keep me on the straight and narrow. New lifestyle buddy anyone?? :pac:

beks101

Lola92 wrote: »

I know I need to lose the weight for my health and to be a good example to my daughter, to lead a healthy lifestyle as a good example for her. I don't want her to have my food issues, I don't want her to feel the way I do! I want to be able to run around after her for more than 10 minutes without starting to feel tired or feeling annoyed for the amount of energy she can have!

I have been planning this for months. I keep planning and planning. I think that I am afraid to really start in case I can't or I give up. I don't want to be stuck in a cycle of losing and gaining the same weight over and over again as my mother has been for the last 20 years. So yeah, I need to get the motivation and keep it. I have a great family of my own and an incredible supportive boyfriend who loves me as I am but I need to be happy to look in the mirror and be the healthy. I need the kick up my ass and somebody to keep me on the straight and narrow. New lifestyle buddy anyone?? :pac:

I think this raises a really important point when it comes to body image actually - the role of the family, which I think is a fundamental part of the puzzle.

I would never dare to blame my weight issues on anyone, I'm a fully grown adult with a too-keen awareness of and full responsibility for my thoughts and behaviours. But as is the case with many Irish families, food was a source of love and comfort for me from the early years. My mother is quite simply the most brilliant and inspirational woman I know, but I think in her anxious attempt to mother us in the best way she knew, there was a degree of over-feeding going on sometimes and I was of course rewarded with 'treats' like any other kid - I do think this played a part in the emotional connection I now have with food, along with many other factors.

I never got any critical comments though, I was a slim child and even the baby fat I developed as a teenager was never commented on - I think that 'plumpness' served as a sign of health to my parents rather than the alternative - which nearly destroyed them. To see me quite literally a shadow of my former self who struggled to even look at the mammy dinners that I used to happily devour is actually one of my biggest sources of regret when it comes to my eating disorder. I wish I could take it all back on that fact alone. I'll never forget the pain on my mum's face or the worry that has lasted to this day. And I really hope I never have to experience that pain as a mother.

Motherhood is something that scares me a little because of all this. To bring a little girl into the world with the best intentions, yet have her pick up my attitude and subtle little destructive behaviours towards food and my body, the self-loathing, the 'never good enough', the need to conform to ridiculous standards that are based on nothing other than a fashion trend...I can think of nothing worse. These attitudes are as contagious as they are dangerous.

Something that upsets me sometimes is when I look at my younger sister and see a mirror reflection of myself in terms of her obsession with weight. She's a gorgeous little thing, everyone that meets her is taken in by her energy and radiance and yet she constantly feels inadequate because of her tall, skinny friends or the unrealistically small jeans that she fit into when she was 12 years old before she had hips or boobs.

I see little behaviours in her...buying jeans a size too small in an effort to motivate herself to lose weight, over-exercising to compensate for a bit of chocolate, wincing at photographs of herself because of some invisible 'double chin' that no-one else sees...and I feel responsible for teaching her to think this way. Our oldest sister got sick a long time ago, so to all intents and purposes, I have been her role model - and I've taught her this? I've taught her that you're not good enough unless you're as skinny as humanly possible and embracing the body you've been given is a sign of weakness? It cuts me to the core to be honest.

I think we all need to realise and take responsibility for how incredibly infectious these sort of body image issues can be to the impressionable people around us - sisters, friends, daughters, cousins, even kids you babysit, kids in the class you teach. Even the most benign of comments or the most subtle of behaviours can have a life-long impact on these people and this is the next generation of women we're talking about - the people that will grow up to carry on this dangerous quest for thinness and pass it along to their own siblings/friends/daughters, maybe even end up working in the media or the fashion industry and propogating them again. It's such an endless cycle and people need to be aware of how the wheel turns on this thing. It's reinforced and passed along by millions of women every day.

What do we all want on our gravestones? 'Dieted her whole life and died thin'?

LenaClaire

beks101 wrote: »

I think we all need to realise and take responsibility for how incredibly infectious these sort of body image issues can be to the impressionable people around us - sisters, friends, daughters, cousins, even kids you babysit, kids in the class you teach. Even the most benign of comments or the most subtle of behaviours can have a life-long impact on these people and this is the next generation of women we're talking about - the people that will grow up to carry on this dangerous quest for thinness and pass it along to their own siblings/friends/daughters, maybe even end up working in the media or the fashion industry and propogating them again. It's such an endless cycle and people need to be aware of how the wheel turns on this thing. It's reinforced and passed along by millions of women every day.

What do we all want on our gravestones? 'Dieted her whole life and died thin'?

I think this is a huge part of it. I started showing binge tendencies when I was in secondary school. I never told anyone, of course, but as I got older and realized that my mother and my grandmother had both struggled with various EDs it made it easier for me to get help.

My grandmother was one of the those ladies in the 50's who used uppers to lose weight. She did not stop dieting until she was in her 70's and could not see how much she had eaten from her plate and had the beginning of alzheimers. She got to a healthy weight and my grandpa just lied to her about her clothing size so she would still think she was tiny.

My mom is a lot better now but she used to be so neurotic about her weight that she did atkins diet while she was pregnant with my brother. The doctor actually made her go in and get weighed every week to make sure she was gaining enough weight for the baby to be safe, and a soon as he was born she was working out every day to loose the weight.

Growing up, seeing the ladies in your life, that you love and admire, always diet and obsess about food does effect your relationship with food and your thoughts about your body.

LollieB

Have to say thanks to Peaches for starting this thread too and again to everyone who has been contributing- it's really gotten me to face things and do something about it.

Meeting with the counsellor was good and nerve wracking all in one. I didn't beat around the bush either, I launched straight into talking about the eating distress. It feels good to put a name to it as well- instead of just calling myself the fat, ugly pig who binge eats in secret. I too have admired Peaches for her honesty about herself. Just saying it out loud to the counsellor made me feel a little bit more in control of myself.

I don't blame anyone for my eating issues as I know I am educated enough about health and nutrition to know how to be healthy. But I do feel that I never really had a chance to build up any sort of positive image.
My parents separated when I was small. My mum was very self conscious of her weight and was always comparing herself to other women & asking me to tell her she wasn't fat. To me, she was the most beautiful person in the world. My sister spent a lot of time looking after me and she struggled (and still does) a LOT with her weight, self image etc.

My dad wasn't around much in my childhood & came back into my life in my teens. I remember, one time, him hugging me and, with his hand on my hip, telling me "watch that, you don't want to be fat like your mother". He left my mother for a much younger, thinner woman. To me fat equalled ugly and unloveable- I already felt like that from as far back as I remembered, so I think I just binged and binged because what did it matter?

I think that's why it feels like such an insurmountable issue for me- because feeling fat, ugly and unloveable is all I've known myself to be. As much work as I have done to build my self confidence over the past few years, I have chipped away at this feeling of being unloveable. I do believe that I am a person worthy of love- but not romantic love. I still feel too ugly and sexually unattractive due to what my body looks like- even though I know love is so much more than physical appearance. I push away so many men due to this and I am so afraid I'll never allow myself the chance to trust and love someone.

I have three little nieces and I am determined to be a positive role model in their life in relation to their confidence & self worth- to show them that they are so much more than the body they live in.

Princess Peach

Nobody is to blame for my issues except myself. I have written lists of the pressures I felt to be thin, and some of the were friends and family, but it was me who took these pressures and used them to change my lifestyle. I wasn't strong enough to resist.

I do blame myself somewhat for my younger sister's issues. I didn't set a good example. When she would moan about how fat she was, my response was always "I'm fatter." Which in no way enforced a positive idea in her mind. Again I know she is facing the same pressures as me, but I did nothing to help her resist them. But it's easy for me to say that now after lots of counselling on the subject.

Ilyana

I agree that family attitudes to weight have had a bearing on me. My mother's side of the family is prone to weight gain; my grandfather is very particular about his weight and how much he eats, my grandmother's weight has fluctuated over the years, and my mother has always complained about her weight, constantly jumping on and falling off the WW bandwagon. It's totally normal in my house to be on a diet, or to talk about being on one.

As others have said, I wouldn't blame them for my issues with my weight; I'm big and bold enough to take responsibility for myself. But I hate seeing my 17 year old sister developing the same securities that I have. She's petite and curvy but toned as she plays lots of sport. She's a size 8-10, but refuses to buy a size 10, as her friends are all, according to her, a size 6. When I lost weight, going from a 16 to a 10, I think she almost felt threatened, as I'd always been the bigger of the two of us, and now she feels like she has to lose weight in case I 'pass her out'.

To think I might be responsible for these groundless insecurities makes me feel so guilty. Her best friend is anorexic, taking after her older sister. We can't go down that same road, I just wish I could get through to her, make her see how beautiful she really is inside and out.

Lia_lia

I'm am astounded that I haven't got any weight issues considering what my parents are like. My Mother was sick with anorexia for years. My Dad was bulimic when he was younger and constantly goes on about his weight. He used to brag that he fit into smaller jeans than me when I was 16 and going through a bit of a chubby puberty stage. He often asks us what we weigh. Actually all my Dad's family are OBSESSED with weight. My aunts and uncles used to call me "Mummy Long Legs" when I was a younger (and still do) because I was always tall and skinny :rolleyes: And if any family member puts on weight it's all they talk about. And at that I'd say out of my 30 cousins and aunts/uncles on my Dad's side about 2 are any bit overweight.

Again, I just find the weight thing bizarre. I'd rather people be insecure about intelligence or their personalities over weight any day...

It's just seems like such an irrelevant...thing!

Caraville

I want to be thinner purely because I've put on weight, I want to feel healthy and I'd find shopping more enjoyable-and I'd dare wearing stuff I couldn't wear now. I've been so busy in the last year that I never have much time to exercise anymore- and that's honestly not an excuse, I love going swimming and I actually don't mind the gym, I am just snowed under with stuff at the moment. But thankfully the stuff that I'm doing is finishing up soon so I'll be hitting the gym again in about 2 weeks time and I can't wait!

I love my food, but I put on weight far too easily to not exercise. That doesn't bother me, it's just something I have to do personally. But what really bothers me are women at work who sit around at lunch time discussing flipping Weight Watchers points ("ooh what are you eating, how many points are in that" or "you should try these, they've really low points" or "Oh my God I've gone way over my points today!" STFU. These women aren't even overweight, they obviously just keep an eye on their weight, which is commendable, but Jesus we don't all need to hear about it! The ridiculous thing is that most of them don't really exercise at all, so they'd be better off worrying less about points and getting out more.

I lost a few stone a few years ago and it was purely through exercise and smaller portions. I didn't weigh or measure anything, just ate less and worked out more. I'm really looking forward to the next few months so that I can start to feel like me again- just a healthier version of what I am now!

Acacia

I really want to lose some weight for health reasons but I'm trying to not get obsessional about it, just cutting out crap and exercising more. Replacing fizzy drinks/juice with water has really helped, I found. Keeping it simple.

It's hard not to keep being reminded of how I'm not supposed to be fat though. I can totally unsterstand how girls develop eating disorders, etc. Everyday you're bombarded with images of how women are meant to look, the ideal weight, how a celebrity lost her baby weight in just two weeks ( oh the crime of actually not being stick thin after giving birth :rolleyes:), etc,etc.

I find other girls are the worst though, especially at work. The girls I have breaks with are lovely but Every. Single. conversation revolves around looks, and particularly weight loss. They talk about chcolate as if it's a lethal, illegal drug of some sort, they don't eat carbs or sugar, and have teeny-tiny portions. Fair play to them for trying to be healthy, but they don't even seem to be happy. The funny thing is, they're all perfectly normal size , not fat or even slightly overweight by any stretch of the imagination. Sometimes I think it's boredom more than anything that keeps them latched onto the weight thing.

stripysocks85

Weight is a HUGE issue for me, pardon the pun. My entire family, bar my sister, are overweight, and not just by a couple of pounds. I remember comments about my weight being made even since my First Holy Communion. When I went to secondary school, I was probably the fattest in my class. I ate junk, didn't know anything about nutrition/food, things that I THOUGHT were healthy weren't etc etc, and I did little/no exercise. Through college, I was the same. I never 'dieted', but was always self conscious about my body. All my friends are size 8/10.

I'm 26 now, and have joined Weight Watchers. I need the discipline of someone else weighing me so that I can't lie to myself. I have changed my attitudes, knowledge etc. I have lost just less than 2 stone since September, and have another 2.5 stone to go. Considering I'm almost half way, I CAN totally do this. I've never been aware of a time that I weighed less than 12 stone, so when I break that in 4.5lbs more, I'm going to be thoroughly delighted.

I work with mostly female staff and it can be very frustrating as women ARE constantly talking about weight/calories/WW points etc. There are women who are size 10 and to them, they might be uncomfotable at being that size if they're generally used to being a size 8, whereas to me, jesus, if I got to a size 10, I would be over the moon.

Weight can be SO problematic and stressful for some people. I wish it wasn't the case, but sadly, it is.

Edited to add; I do go to Weight Watchers each week and I know many people don't agree with it as they don't see it sustainable long term, or that we're not educated on food, but that's not true. I have to admit, I haven't actually 'tracked' my food for weeks/months now, and I'm still doing okay. I want to train myself into a healthier lifestyle without relying on POINTS values, although I do check things out to see what's 'good/bad'.

I am a friend

I want to lose weight because I am small and feel and look much better slim. Have a few lbs to lose since I had my baby and am doing my best

Princess Peach

Acacia wrote: »

I find other girls are the worst though, especially at work. The girls I have breaks with are lovely but Every. Single. conversation revolves around looks, and particularly weight loss. They talk about chcolate as if it's a lethal, illegal drug of some sort, they don't eat carbs or sugar, and have teeny-tiny portions. Fair play to them for trying to be healthy, but they don't even seem to be happy. The funny thing is, they're all perfectly normal size , not fat or even slightly overweight by any stretch of the imagination. Sometimes I think it's boredom more than anything that keeps them latched onto the weight thing.

stripysocks85 wrote: »

I never 'dieted', but was always self conscious about my body. All my friends are size 8/10.


I work with mostly female staff and it can be very frustrating as women ARE constantly talking about weight/calories/WW points etc. There are women who are size 10 and to them, they might be uncomfotable at being that size if they're generally used to being a size 8, whereas to me, jesus, if I got to a size 10, I would be over the moon.

What weight or size you are doesn't really matter when it comes to wanting to be thinner. While others might think, "she's a size 8 why is she dieting?" it's your perception of yourself that drives you. And that's what is most harmful. I mean someone who is actually overweight can be told by doctor's and dietitians, but its this warped image a lot of women have in their head of the thin ideal figure that causes unhealthy thoughts and habits. If a girl has problems with her self image, it does not matter what others think of her or say to her. I really don't boredom can be blamed on this at all, there are so many pressures that can account for this.

Stripysocks you say you never dieted, do you mean in the past? Because Weight Watchers definitely is a diet.

Pembily

Well said PP! I'm fitting into a size 10 but I still have 20lb to lose, I know I am happier at that weight and I don't care if others judge me / question why I want to lose more weight... It's my body and I know when I'm my ideal weight.

Boredom is not the only reason for this. The reasons are many, varied and difficult to fix.

saa

Pembily wrote: »

Well said PP! I'm fitting into a size 10 but I still have 20lb to lose, I know I am happier at that weight and I don't care if others judge me / question why I want to lose more weight... It's my body and I know when I'm my ideal weight.
.

You can't win no one should judge you I hear that a lot (not about me lol) "You don't need to loose any weight" if its okay for someone to want to be as educated as they can be whats wrong with striving to have the healthiest body, its a machine that works to serve you not for others gazes.

Its sad seeing the stories of parents who are weird about weight passing it on it us I remember from being about 3 or 4 and my sister was about 4 or 5 we had very different bodies, she was taller and like a bean poll naturally I was thick and short (not fat just wide ankles and wrists, short and all) but b/c my dad had a weight issue and my sister didn't he gave out about her being thin so from the age or 7 I thought I was doing something wrong by being a normal weight, I think I've reversed most of the bile I had been fed.

Weight is a funny thing, it shouldn't be a number on the scale or how you look but what you do everyday as a child, if you lead a healthy lifestyle your body will sort itself out going through all those changes.

HereticPrincess

I wouldn't want to be thinner at all, but I would like to eat healthier. Currently working on that one, eating much better. I'm just about 8 stone and a size 8 which I'm quite happy with.

Up until about a year ago I was 7 stone and it was simply because I'm naturally slim, my mother is the same. She's about the same weight/height as I am.

Being as slim as I was used to make me feel a little uncomfortable because people would say things like "Oh my god, do you eat anything" or "you're so teeny-tiny". They were joking but I found it a little annoying after a while. I actually have a great appetite! Even though I am small, I have hips, and my oh says that he loves that.

Everyone should be able to feel sexy and confident once they are happy with the size they are at.

Monife

I almost wish I never started on the journey of trying to lose weight. I was in the severely obese category (18 stone 3lb) and still am obese (at 15 stone 4lb) but I have been teetering at the same weight for over 9 months now, gaining and losing. The reason I wish I had never started, is all I think about is food and weight loss/gain.

Can I eat this?
I want to eat this?
I have eaten this, oh sh*t!
I may aswell eat more, I have already f*cked up!

The reasons for wanting to lose weight are to be able to wear normal sized clothes and shop in normal shops (not Evans, New Look Plus Size etc), to be healthier and fitter and to like others, to be desired (sounds a bit strange, not desired as lusted after but admired more like).

So for the reasons above, I am glad I started this journey, but loathe it at the same time as it has almost consumed my life and there are some aspects I can't enjoy anymore without guilt attached.