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Was I Misleading or Just not intrested ?

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24

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    #32
    Seachmall
    Registered Users Posts: 7,041 ✭✭✭Seachmall


    knowit12 wrote: »
    he followed...

    You invited him...?


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    #33
    Peetrik
    Registered Users Posts: 1,674 ✭✭✭Peetrik


    knowit12 wrote: »
    BRING YOUR FRIENDS

    You hadn't been playing tonsil tennis with his friends.
    In fairness to you, the guy took a gamble not keeping enough money to get home as its a well documented fact that 'bitches be crazy yo'.
    In fairness to the guy, an invite back to an afterparty from someone who has been kissing you is at the very least a gaurentee of more kissing and a cuddle, instead of that he was publicly rejected and then the unwilling object of whispered giggles and you hiding in a bathroom and probably more girly dramatic bull****. Fair play to him for being a gentleman even after your bs.

    Infact even theoretically putting myself in his position I'm annoyed at you on his behalf.

    You spoon!

    Good day madam.


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    #34
    knowit12
    Closed Accounts Posts: 63 ✭✭knowit12


    IPAM wrote: »
    He wasn't stalking you, you asked him to follow!

    Who said anything about stalking ?


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    #35
    KERSPLAT!
    Closed Accounts Posts: 31,152 ✭✭✭✭KERSPLAT!


    knowit12 wrote: »
    Wo said anything about stalking ?

    You invited a lad back to a party and then make him sound like a weirdo for taking you up on the invite


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    #36
    The King of Moo
    Registered Users Posts: 8,207 ✭✭✭The King of Moo


    knowit12 wrote: »
    I was out with my friends going back to a friends for a session.. That was all !!!
    If I wanted to Fcuk him I would have left on my OWN with him - I left with my friends and not him for a reason - he followed...

    But he didn't exactly follow you. You invited him and his friends back to the house: just because the friends didn't come, that doesn't mean he was uninvited. He probably shouldn't have come back with you: it would've been very awkward to be on his own among you and your friends. If he were interested, he should've left but asked for your number to meet you for a coffee sometime.
    That would've been the more sensible thing to do, but at the same time you can't really blame him for coming back when he'd been invited.
    And since you'd kissed him, he was thinking there may have been more involved than a session. How was he to know you weren't interested in more?

    Look, kissing him then inviting him and his friends back was misleading, though you do have every right to kiss a man and not want to do anything further. But you have to understand that the guy might expect more, though that doesn't give him any right to feel entitled to more.

    I think you should chalk this one up to experience: your actions were unintentionally misleading, he made one too many assumptions and was a bit creepy, but there was no major harm done and the situation could've ended a lot worse.


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    #37
    [Deleted User]
    Posts: 50,630 ✭✭✭✭ [Deleted User]


    I agree with king of moo.
    You were kissing him, you invited him back, he expected more to happen. I don't think either of you were wrong in the situation. Crossed wires at worst, but you'll be more aware of it next time. If you kiss someone and invite them back after the club is finished, they are likely to think they're on a promise.


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    #38
    Immaculate Pasta
    Registered Users Posts: 1,663 ✭✭✭Immaculate Pasta


    knowit12 wrote: »

    hop into a taxi about 20 mins after and there he is walking all by himself down this long road

    :D

    I creased up when I read that. Classic! I wonder if he was singing All By Myself on the long walk home.
    fluorescence wrote: »
    AH needs a big sign in big neon letters at the top of every page that says, "GOT A PROBLEM? PERSONAL ISSUES FORUM IS THAT WAY ---->"

    But the best threads on After Hours are when someone divulges their personal lives to us. Particularly when it's about relationships. Like the young lad who met yer wan in a sandwich shop which was actually in a old couple's house and yer man who thought his teacher fancied him.
    Fart wrote: »
    "Bring your friends" means "Bring some protection/condoms".

    That's why his human friends didn't come along. He probably thought he was getting the royid. Choose your words wisely next time.

    What do you mean by this human friends? Did he bring his dog along to the nightclub and the party afterwards or something? :confused:


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    #39
    knowit12
    Closed Accounts Posts: 63 ✭✭knowit12


    IPAM wrote: »
    You invited a lad back to a party and then make him sound like a weirdo for taking you up on the invite


    salking , weirdo ?? I don't see either of them words on any of my posts. see ya


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    #40
    xsiborg
    Closed Accounts Posts: 5,635 ✭✭✭xsiborg


    knowit12 wrote: »
    The King of Moo wrote: »
    But...

    you only kissed him, not the other friends. Now it is weirder that he came back with you on his own if you invited them all, but it was the kiss that was making him expect some action.

    Not that he was entitled to expect that, or you were wrong to kiss him, but that's why he assumed you were interested in him.


    I was out with my friends going back to a friends for a session.. That was all !!!
    If I wanted to Fcuk him I would have left on my OWN with him - I left with my friends and not him for a reason - he followed...

    you're taking this far too seriously OP and thinking about it WAY too much, i guarantee you he's not still thinking about it, you're not at fault at all, he assumed certain expectations, he was wrong, he'll have got over it by now and honestly- so should you!

    what age are you OP that you would feel any kind of guilt for not putting out for this guy? so what like if you had a bit of fun in the club, you're entitled to enjoy yourself and under no obligation to live up to his expectations, sounds like you're well rid tbh, and dont let this one silly incident put you off enjoying yourself and having a bit of craic when you go out, there's plenty of lads out there that wont assume they're gonna get laid the minute they kiss a girl, let alone like this guy acting like a total weirdo! if he'd even tried to socialise at the party with the rest of your friends, he may not have come across as half as creepy!


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    #41
    Bodhisopha
    Registered Users Posts: 4,068 ✭✭✭Bodhisopha


    Make it clear next time that sex is not on the cards. Seems to me that you just wanted to know you could have him, once this was clear you lost interest.


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    #42
    Fart
    Registered Users Posts: 1,825 ✭✭✭Fart


    Immaculate Pasta wrote: »
    What do you mean by this human friends? Did he bring his dog along to the nightclub and the party afterwards or something? :confused:

    I was expecting this sort of reply. I was trying to distinguish between condoms and his mates.


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    #43
    Plazaman
    Registered Users Posts: 3,012 ✭✭✭Plazaman


    A nightclub kissing session + invite back to a house = A Ride. It's in the male psyche I'm afraid. It's not our fault, it's built into us from our hunter/gatherer days. Fellas are not great at reading signs especially when out drinking. To him, regardless of asking his friend to go back to the houseparty as well, the invite led him to believe he was going to get banged like a shed door in a hurricane.

    Let this be a lesson OP next time don't be afraid to be, well not blunt, but articulate. If you extend an invite again you need to say "Would you like to come back to our party - oh just to be clear, I'm a dude"..... or something similar to imply that Benjamin and the twins stay in his pants.


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    #44
    Seachmall
    Registered Users Posts: 7,041 ✭✭✭Seachmall


    I don't see how he was at fault.

    She shifted the face of him. She invited him back to a friend's. I think the roide is a reasonable expectation here.

    That's not to say OP is at fault, either. Perhaps a bit naive in the signals she was sending out and how they would be interpreted, but didn't do anything wrong.


    Men are from Mars, Women from Venus and all that.


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    #45
    stripysocks85
    Registered Users Posts: 1,877 ✭✭✭stripysocks85


    Eh, OP, what age are you? :/


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    #46
    Thrill
    Registered Users Posts: 5,485 ✭✭✭Thrill


    Unintentionally misleading.

    Anyway, who cares. No means no, no-matter what he thought or expected.


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    #47
    Seachmall
    Registered Users Posts: 7,041 ✭✭✭Seachmall


    stripysocks85 wrote: »
    Eh, OP, what age are you? :/

    My money is on 17/18 - First year college.


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    #48
    Immaculate Pasta
    Registered Users Posts: 1,663 ✭✭✭Immaculate Pasta


    stripysocks85 wrote: »
    Eh, OP, what age are you? :/
    Seachmall wrote: »
    My money is on 17/18 - First year college.

    Nah comfortably late 40s I'd say :cool:


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    #49
    knowit12
    Closed Accounts Posts: 63 ✭✭knowit12


    stripysocks85 wrote: »
    Eh, OP, what age are you? :/

    what has age got to do with it :/ ?

    24


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    #50
    smash
    Closed Accounts Posts: 34,809 ✭✭✭✭smash


    knowit12 wrote: »
    what has age got to do with it :/ ?

    24
    Without prying to much, was the long term relationship you just got out of your first relationship?


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    #51
    Fart
    Registered Users Posts: 1,825 ✭✭✭Fart


    smash wrote: »
    Without prying to much, was the long term relationship you just got out of your first relationship?

    Seems obvious. :P


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    #52
    stripysocks85
    Registered Users Posts: 1,877 ✭✭✭stripysocks85


    Course it has something to do with it. Someone a bit older would probably have more common sense. If you shift a guy and invite him back with you, chances are he's thinking he's gonna get lucky. If I shifted a guy, and he invited me back and I got nothing outta it, I would NOT be happy. It's OBVIOUS that he thought eh was gonna get some, and to be fair, he seemed a pretty decent guy. You led him on, as a prick tease, and then drove at speed past him whilst he was stuck an hour from home, alone!

    Nice one OP. Nice one.


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    #53
    knowit12
    Closed Accounts Posts: 63 ✭✭knowit12


    smash wrote: »
    Without prying to much, was the long term relationship you just got out of your first relationship?


    yeah first serious relationship anyway - 6 years .


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    #54
    smash
    Closed Accounts Posts: 34,809 ✭✭✭✭smash


    knowit12 wrote: »
    yeah first serious relationship anyway - 6 years .
    Ok. Well as an adult, inviting someone back to a party after kissing him in a club is pretty much a sign of offering a ride unless you say otherwise. It's not like leaving wesley and deciding to go to a free gaf to drink.


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    #55
    wasislos
    Closed Accounts Posts: 21 ✭wasislos


    Kissing and cuddling on the couch like a pair of teens. Then locking urself in a bathroom like a little child. I dont know which is worse!


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    #56
    syklops
    Closed Accounts Posts: 18,966 ✭✭✭✭syklops


    That opening post is an excellent example of female logic.

    You would need Mel Gibsons psychic ability from "what women want" to figure out what the OP wanted,


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    #57
    Funglegunk
    Registered Users Posts: 1,566 ✭✭✭Funglegunk


    He spent his taxi money on a bottle of wine? That's a lad who thinks he's guaranteed a ride.


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    #58
    Fart
    Registered Users Posts: 1,825 ✭✭✭Fart


    Funglegunk wrote: »
    He spent his taxi money on a bottle of wine? That's a lad who thinks he's guaranteed a ride.

    Indeed, at least he's guaranteed a ride in a taxi.


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    #59
    --LOS--
    Registered Users Posts: 11,028 ✭✭✭✭--LOS--


    You definitely led him on unless you are incredibly naive which I find hard to reconcile when you are 24 and have had a long term relationship. 6 years and you're not heartbroken btw?

    Anyway I would say the same if it was the girl who had expected sex and it was the guy who was surprised and didn't see what he was getting into after having kissed a girl and then followed her home to a party.


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    #60
    Seachmall
    Registered Users Posts: 7,041 ✭✭✭Seachmall


    --LOS-- wrote: »
    unless you are incredibly naive which I find hard to reconcile when you are 24 and have had a long term relationship.

    I think being naive in this situation is understandable because of the long term relationship.


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    #61
    knowit12
    Closed Accounts Posts: 63 ✭✭knowit12


    Thanks for the replys :)


    I was bitch and I admited that.

    As I said only out of a relationship so not use to the hole "one night stand" thing or wjat the do's and don't are.

    I'm use to always going back to sessions on nights out with male and female freinds - so when I ask someone back i'm generally just been freindly, to go back and have a laugh and a few drinks.. not for a sex session.

    Kissing someone isn't and invite into a person knickers and anyone that thinks it is are either hanging out with sluts or have major ego issues.

    Thanks and good bye :)


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