feeling half-hearted about my PhD

lynch10

I'm in the first year of a PhD and I'm finding it tough to say the least. I love my topic and have a genuine interest for it, but now at the end of my twenties I'm finding the lifestyle that goes along with a phd hard. All my friends have full time jobs and therefore good salaries. At the minute I am living off fresh air because I am applying for funding. Also my county council grant hasn't come through because of government cuts.

I work from home, mainly because of money issues and I find it very lonely. Most days I wonder if I am doing the right thing, or I wonder what am I doing with my life!

Is it worth it? I don't know whether to forge ahead for the next 3/4 years or cut my losses and go look for work.

any words of advice would be really lovely right now.

stinkle

Hi,

sorry to hear you're having a rough time at the moment. The lifestyle can be a pain alright, especially with no funding. I was like you this time last year, my funding ran out but I was almost finished. It was still a horrible few months. Have you other PhD friends? Some like-minded support can help massively - do you have contact with people in your department or something? My college had a postgrad society - while I never went to it they had social nights (for cheap!) and it did strike me as a good way to make new friends outside of my specific work area too.

Working from home isn't all it's cracked up to be either - coudl you even hit a regular library once or twice a week for a bit of variation? If money's an issue then transport might not be an option for you of course. It might seem like you'd spend more money too if you're out and about, but to be honest I'd get so bored working for home at times that I'd go out looking to waste time and money! And would always be available to meet people at the drop of a hat. I always felt more motivated when I went to the library and at the end of the day actually felt productive and could switch off that bit more easily.

It's great that you love your topic - it's a rarity!!! It'd be a shame for you to give up on it if you do love it, and trust me the few years fly by even though it doesn't always seem that way. Have you spoken to a supervisor about how you feel? Perhaps they could arrange basic funding or apply elsewhere for you.

lynch10

hi

thanks for the kind words. believe it or not, I don't know anyone doing a phd. well, i dont know anyone well. i have spoken to people doing phd's and most seemed pretty burned out by the whole process.

because I'm applying for funding I am only getting around to registering with my college, so I dont have a student card, access to a library or a desk in the department. my supervisor says these things will be arranged by the end of the month which is another reason for me to work from home.

thats terrible that your funding ran out, but i'm pretty terrified i wont get any funding whatsoever and will have to live this sh1tty lifestyle for a few years. i did mention it to my supervisor but she just told me about some scholarship that seems incredibly competitive - 4 people get it out of hundreds. so also seems really busy and sometimes doesn't get back to me for days/weeks on end.

everyone i talk to tells me not to do an unfunded phd so i really do not know what to think about this. i never thought i would long for the days of being an undergrad when life wasn't so uncertain.

stinkle

lynch10 wrote: »

have spoken to people doing phd's and most seemed pretty burned out by the whole process.

yup, it's painful at times - I remember when I started mine a friend who was a year in summed it up quite well "I'm sure you'll love to hate it soon, like the rest of us!". That stayed with me for the four years! My field is science, so you kinda have to have one to get ahead really. Also I took a year out after undergrad to work and that made me want to do the PhD, so maybe look at your alternatives. It really is great that you love your topic though, it's a huge bonus. So many people I've met hate it, and I honestly never knew how they could get through it if they hated it. A PhD teaches you a lot about determination!

That sucks about being stuck working from home, definitely keep on at your supervisor about getting space. Surely you dont have access to literature if you aren't on the college books? In which case you're at a disadvantage even if you are getting work done at home.


Apply for any scholarship going - at least if you try then the supervisor can't get the hump with you, even if you're unsuccessful. We always did this if we had to travel anywhere - apply for all the grants going and then supervisor couldnt moan about it if we were unlucky in the end.

lynch10

thats good advice, I am very determined when it comes to the work/tasks my supervisor sets me cos I figured a good working relationship with her is bound to have positive influences for when (if i do) finished the phd.

i will keep pressing her for some desk space, I might even ask her if the college could provide a stipend. last time we met up she said she would get me some teaching work to tide me over. but that probably wont be for awhile yet.

i suppose i feel at a bit of a loss because everyone around me seems so busy and i just seem stuck in a permanent student status. i worry that i'm sacrificing things my friends are doing now (getting engaged etc) for the sake of this phd.

my area is the same... the health sciences. you cant get anywhere good without a phd.

stinkle

well don't just do it for the sake of it either, but if you want to stay in that field it's a necessary evil The flexibility is one of the positives! Btw it's normal to feel down about it all a year in. A lot of people talk about year 2 problems and it makes sense. Once you're a bit settled the reality hits you. At least 2/3/4 years in you've a lot of progress made and finishing up looms!!

I forgot about teaching work, marking exams and supervising them is another way to earn a bit extra.

A lot of my friends went into "real jobs" after undergrad too, it is a bit alienating alright, and yeah I feel a bit backward in comparison to where they are in life. Was at a hen party during my unpaid stint last year and no one else was studying anymore, and all had great jobs with normal hours and there was me being a perpetual student, counting the pennies. I'm still in academia so that ain't helping!

Once you get a bit of space to work then you'll probably get to know a few others doing PhDs too. A good support network is vital, though there's times whenyou need to escape that too - I found "work" nights out a right chore when things would be going badly, or when I was putting in crazy hours, or when I was writing up (the constant questions about it, agh!!!). So don't ditch the non-PhD mates just yet :pac:

chris85

Well at least you have a decent supervisor. I am not doing a PhD (doing an MSc) but heard a bad supervisor can make it much much harder.

The research is a lonely place at the best of times but I think money is always something which will amplify any problems. No one likes money problems. Hopefully that gets sorted and will take a big off your shoulders.

Have you considered setting up some type of postgrad or PhD social outlet. Maybe coffee mornings during the week, idea sharing, drinks. I know not easy to put yourself out there to do this (I would find it very hard anyways) but you will probably have many others in a similar position and happy to meet others.

Another option is do consider doing a PhD part time if you really dont like the full time hours. I know a few lecturers have done that. They started full time and moved to doing it part time. Dont know particular reasons but may be off interest. You could then work a little also. Maybe even get a job if your specific research topic which may help develop your PhD and make it even better.

missmaplesbear

Hello,

I was wondering if you could give me some advice.

In November of last year I received an offer to undertake PhD in UCD. As part of this PhD I was told that the project would start immediately and I would receive funding of 16,000 and my fees.

Upon acceptances I was told that my project would not start until after January and that I should not register as a student until I applied for an IRCSET since this was the only funding available.

In February, following application I was told that I should register as a student but that my project would not be starting until September. Just last week I was successful in my application for IRCSET.Under the conditions of my funding it says that I could decide when to start payment. My supervisors then informed me that since I had registered as a student that there were fees for this year I spent in UCD.

They then informed me that I would probably have to pay five grand at the end because due to the nature of the project I would be following a cohort of students over the course of three years which will start next September. .Since they had informed me that my research would start immediately and that I would be fully funded immediately, I feel slightly confused and frankly slightly angry If this is the case, I would prefer to start in August and use the funding to pay for my three years of actual research, as opposed to the last five months were I have had essentially no function.

Is there any advice you can offer me.

Thanks in advance.

PoleStar

I feel your pain, another research victim here.

Thankfully I have put it behind me (health sciences also).

I remember 1 and a half years in and my experiment didn't work. I had to go back to the drawing board and start again

I guess fundamentally you have to decide what a Phd will get you and work it from there.

But fear not, anyone who treads the science research path will feel your pain along the way!

stinkle

missmaplesbear wrote: »

Hello,

I was wondering if you could give me some advice.

In November of last year I received an offer to undertake PhD in UCD. As part of this PhD I was told that the project would start immediately and I would receive funding of 16,000 and my fees.

Upon acceptances I was told that my project would not start until after January and that I should not register as a student until I applied for an IRCSET since this was the only funding available.

In February, following application I was told that I should register as a student but that my project would not be starting until September. Just last week I was successful in my application for IRCSET.Under the conditions of my funding it says that I could decide when to start payment. My supervisors then informed me that since I had registered as a student that there were fees for this year I spent in UCD.

They then informed me that I would probably have to pay five grand at the end because due to the nature of the project I would be following a cohort of students over the course of three years which will start next September. .Since they had informed me that my research would start immediately and that I would be fully funded immediately, I feel slightly confused and frankly slightly angry If this is the case, I would prefer to start in August and use the funding to pay for my three years of actual research, as opposed to the last five months were I have had essentially no function.

Is there any advice you can offer me.

Thanks in advance.

Do you have any of the comments from your supervisor in writing/email? It sounds quite confusing, but if you had no funding it seems odd to have registered/accepted to register without it. Speak to someone who looks after postgrads (my college had an advisory service), like a rep or student union type and see what they have to say. I would definitely challenge and query everything you;re told until you get a straight, unambiguous answer. I would be angry too. Keep records of everything you discuss.

Congrats on getting IRCSET btw!

woodchuck

missmaplesbear wrote: »

Hello,

I was wondering if you could give me some advice.

In November of last year I received an offer to undertake PhD in UCD. As part of this PhD I was told that the project would start immediately and I would receive funding of 16,000 and my fees.

Upon acceptances I was told that my project would not start until after January and that I should not register as a student until I applied for an IRCSET since this was the only funding available.

In February, following application I was told that I should register as a student but that my project would not be starting until September. Just last week I was successful in my application for IRCSET.Under the conditions of my funding it says that I could decide when to start payment. My supervisors then informed me that since I had registered as a student that there were fees for this year I spent in UCD.

They then informed me that I would probably have to pay five grand at the end because due to the nature of the project I would be following a cohort of students over the course of three years which will start next September. .Since they had informed me that my research would start immediately and that I would be fully funded immediately, I feel slightly confused and frankly slightly angry If this is the case, I would prefer to start in August and use the funding to pay for my three years of actual research, as opposed to the last five months were I have had essentially no function.

Is there any advice you can offer me.

Thanks in advance.

You should be able to plead your case to someone and hopefully get your fees waived for this year. Get your supervisor on board and find out who to go to about it (Postgraduate studies office? Postgraduate student union?). At least you haven't paid anything yet... seems odd that they'd even let you register without making a payment.