Things about Ireland that

crfcaio

foreigners MUST know before going there.

Of what should I be aware?

Enlighten me, AH.

old_aussie

The place is full of US haters and drunks

crfcaio

I'm glad I wasn't raised here :rolleyes:

Next.

buyer95

We are a welcoming enough folk, who take the whole tea drinking thing to a new level

im invisible

Its cold and wet, anything above 14 degrees will get people out shirtless trying to get a bit of a tan, which is pointless on Irish skin, it just can't handle it.

scorpioishere

* Some of the irish are smelly
* Irish streets are full of piss and **** over the week end
* Some irish kids doesn't knw how to behave in public.

Chuck Stone

You should know that there is quite a lot of self-loathing Irish on forums such as this who can only see what's wrong with this country.

Paradoxically the majority of these self-loathers are likely to be socially retarded hermit-folk so don't experience much outside the cyber world. You can spot these hermit-folk by observing how they communicate with real humans i.e. by hissing loudly when they dislike something and hissing gently when they like something.

Irish people have good points and bad points just like anywhere else in the world. On the whole I'd say we're a grand bunch of lads.

haminka

I like Ireland - with the exception of the highly dysfunctional and parasitic public service and health service and binge drinking. Someone should give me a couple of logical reasons why they go out, get drunk till they are sick and can't remember anything and spend the next day incapacitated.
Other than that, it's a great country. You get morons like everywhere else. You get nice people like everywhere else.
Oh, I totally forgot the biggest grief I have with Ireland. No ice-hockey. GAA just doesn't cut it, sorry guys.

tvc15

haminka wrote: »

Someone should give me a couple of logical reasons why they go out, get drunk till they are sick and can't remember anything and spend the next day incapacitated..

For the craic

Not everything has to make sense

Cork Lass

The one thing I really like about Ireland is that those who dislike it/are glad they were not raised here have the freedom to leave anytime they choose.

MyKeyG

scorpioishere wrote: »

* Some of the irish are smelly
* Irish streets are full of piss and **** over the week end
* Some irish kids doesn't knw how to behave in public.

That could be any town in the UK! It's not just exclusive to Ireland.

MyKeyG

Cork Lass wrote: »

The one thing I really like about Ireland is that those who dislike it/are glad they were not raised here have the freedom to leave anytime they choose.

Best post I've seen in a while.

deelite

"Just a five minute walk up the road" generally means a 5 mile walk

Fiona

deelite wrote: »

"Just a five minute walk up the road" generally means a 5 mile walk

So true!!

And 20 mins is really 45 mins.

And never refuse a cup of tea, it will upset the person offering it

MyKeyG

mrs crilly wrote: »

And never refuse a cup of tea, it will upset the person offering it

But I have this rare medical condition. If I drink tea there's a good chance I'll die!

newmug

Remeber this: The english are our mortal enemy, much like the germans are to the Polish, and the taliban is to America. Never, EVER, EVER, say we look / behave / speak like the english. Never ask why we dont speak our own language, or why some people follow english soccer teams. You will just be inviting unnescessary punishment upon yourself if you do.

mikemac1

Midnight mass is not at midnight

The Irish Mammy rules everything and no girl is good enough for her son

Obsession with car reg plates
"Heard you got a new car, what kind is it?"
"Oh it's a 12 reg"
"I didn't ask you that "

Try explaining to a French person that you're taking the car for a "spin" :cool:

We elect crooks and admire the lovable rogues.;)
Tory party fundraising scandal = English crooks, same thing in Ireland = cute hoor

Everyone knows League of Ireland football is ****e even if you've never been to a game in your life

We have red lemonade, the Brits don't have that ha.

All crisps are Taytos and that's the way it will remain

MugMugs

If you meet a fella wearing a Nike Shell Suit and Nike Air Max with his baseball cap peaked up to the heavens and shouting "Brits out" Take the time to ask him why he wants this.

I can guarantee you that he will be able to tell you that we were occupied by them at one stage in our lives and that's where his knowledge of the situation will end.

If you see a group of girls wearing PJ's, don't be alarmed, we just call them scuzz balls... If they become aggressive toward you then offer them a John Player Blue, that'll calm them down enough for you to escape.

Take my advice, Fly into Dublin Airport, Take the Bus to the train station and go either West or South West.

Deus Ex Machina

There are actually more guns in Ireland than America. You'll be shot at very frequently. A lot of people strut around with these big fuçk off Roman shields to protect themselves. If you lower your shield however it's seen as welcoming fellatio, so you're often between a rock and a hard place.

Fratton Fred

crfcaio wrote: »

foreigners MUST know before going there.

Of what should I be aware?

Enlighten me, AH.

From what I have managed to deduce, there are two types of Irish people, Dubs and non Dubs.

If you are a Dub, you consider yourself sophisticated, well educated and your taxes carry the rest of the country. All of those not from Dublin are culchie pig farmers who haven't noticed that it is now the 21st century.

If you are a non Dub, you hate Dubs because they are all junkies and drug dealers who want to be British.

The only exception to this is Cork. Cork people hate everyone not from Cork and everyone not from Cork hate Cork people.

There are no poor drivers in Ireland 50% of the population are average to good drivers, the other 50% are absolutely terrible. These are people who stop whilst trying to join a motorway, or can squeeze their Nissan micro into three parking spaces.

Irish pubs will often do table service, which trumps penicillin as the greatest thing ever invented.

Don't go to Cavan, you will regret it.

smash

crfcaio wrote: »

foreigners MUST know before going there.

Of what should I be aware?

Enlighten me, AH.

Irish girls love anal, it's always wise to carry around a tub a Vaseline and some poppers.

Sunnyisland

scorpioishere wrote: »

* Some of the irish are smelly
* Irish streets are full of piss and **** over the week end
* Some irish kids doesn't knw how to behave in public.

And some cant spell correctly

mikemac1

You can judge a person by their car reg

Take a rural county reg to a dealer and prepare for the sharp intake of breath :rolleyes:

All D reg cars were driven on superb roads and never had harsh treatment
Everywhere else were used to tow trailers of pigs to the mart and rallied on boreens.
And then the dealer will insult you with the offer.


God help you if you are young and take a DL reg to a dealer for a trade in.
Everyone knows that Donegal is full of boyracers and loons :eek:

Thou shall never ever buy a reg from those boyos in the next county
Do you see many Clare regs in North Tipp?
No you don't and you never will
Up Tipp, Tipp for Liam :cool:

Zebra3

crfcaio wrote: »

foreigners MUST know before going there.

Of what should I be aware?

Enlighten me, AH.

Watch the clips of the Savage Eye on Youtube.

All fully explained there and totally truthful.

mikemac1

The greatest insult in rural Ireland is to be called a blow-in

Realy unless you own land and can go back three generations in the parish you'll still be a blow-in

The Mammy came from a neighbouring county before getting married and the old biddies still pass comments that's she not from the parish
Not meant in a bad way but it's snide and narky all the same

Now you're not going to see this in Meath, Kildare, Co. Cork and Limerick and other places with estates for commuters going to cities

I'm talking about real rural Ireland where there are no estates, one church, one shop and four pubs in the village

Mint Sauce

Pubs are closed on Good Friday and Christams day.

Zebra3

mikemac1 wrote: »

The greatest insult in rural Ireland is to be called a blow-in

Realy unless you own land and can go back three generations in the parish you'll still be a blow-in

The Mammy came from a neighbouring county before getting married and the old biddies still pass comments that's she not from the parish
Not meant in a bad way but it's snide and narky all the same

So it is meant in a bad way.

mikemac1

I explained it badly

Just old biddies set in their ways
Not a vicious insult realy, just something they've always said

Not a big deal

newmug

mikemac1 wrote: »

Now you're not going to see this in Meath, Kildare, Co. Cork and Limerick and other places with estates for commuters going to cities

I'm talking about real rural Ireland where there are no estates, one church, one shop and four pubs in the village

Yes you blodywell are! Probably the most clannish, and definately most rural county in Ireland, dubs are NOT welcome.

emeraldstar

mikemac1 wrote: »

All crisps are Taytos and that's the way it will remain

False.

mattjack

crfcaio wrote: »

foreigners MUST know before going there.

Of what should I be aware?

Enlighten me, AH.

Use the words 'begorrah' and 'top of the morning' regularly, you'll fit in perfectly.Also make sure sure you register for the 'taking a piss' tax.

Badly Drunk Boy

mikemac1 wrote: »

Midnight mass is not at midnight

I remember when it was.

I also vaguely remember when I went into churches...

44leto

We are initially friendly but then very insular. We are very family orientated and very much in our own groups. We are hard to get into, we are a local shop for local people.

So tourists see us as friendly immigrants don't.

bensweeney

Dont forget your pocket fish. Pocket Fish can cost anywhere from €50 - €200 depending on how much you have to spend. Generally, the best way to go about it is catch your own Pocket Fish (the best place for this is on the river Shannon in around the Athlone area - hence the festival). Pocket Fish are more of a statement than a product you can buy and usually people will have more respect for someone who catches their own. You might find Pocket Fish gigs in various pubs around the country at different times of the year but the Athlone festival is the highlight of the Pocket Fish scene.


http://i.imgur.com/MjEzQ.jpg

The King of Moo

Ireland looks like a curly-haired bear driving a car.

You might have noticed this already, but some people only discover it when they arrive and can't deal with it.

Kovu

It depends on where you're headed to in Ireland. There's a lot of difference between Dublin and Mayo for example. Even with slang words, over here they seen to add 'een' onto anything small e.g wee calfeen, cateen
Confused me when I moved here and I'm from Leitrim originally!

Oh, try to learn how to pronounce areas correctly. Dun Laoghaire appears to be the main one that gets a lot of people.
(Gets= Catches out)

AboutTwoFiddy

Contrary to popular beliefs, its only cars that drive on the left over here. Lorries drive on the right.

Kovu

AboutTwoFiddy wrote: »

Contrary to popular beliefs, its only cars that drive on the left over here. Lorries drive on the right.

bleg

Mostly harmless.

Noffles

Stay away from anywhere rural... clueless and "afraid" of scary outsiders with their modern ways.. Still afraid of priests, no where to get shopping and only one pub...

xflyer

Some very useful stuff here OP. Remember too the roads are very narrow and twisting often with steep drops at the side in the more scenic areas of the country which is pretty much everywhere. But the locals don't care and drive as if it was a six lane highway. Which means you'll regularly find cars approaching on the wrong side of the road at terrifying velocities. Of course when I say wrong side I mean the right side of the road which of course is the right side in America but wrong in Ireland. Here the left is the right side which means the right.................Maybe you should take the bus!

dots03

...and never, ever leave the Immersion on.

In fact, stay away from all hot presses at all times and you'll be grand.

smash

Irishness is...

Describing someone with longstanding, persistent and untreated psychosis as "a character".

Saying "There's definitely no recession here!" every time you see more than ... 5 people in a pub

Saying "Ah but he's very good to his mother" about some utter langer

TK Red lemonade and white pudding. Not together of course

Your ma or da greeting you with the phrase "d'ya know who's dead?"

That mini heart attack you get if you go out and forget to turn off the immersion

You're not drinking??? Are you on antibiotics?

Wallpaper on your school books

Being Grand!!

Boil everything in a huge pot for 3 hours

Paschal Sheehey RTE news (AKA Plastic Sheeting)

Being absolutely terrified of a wooden spoon.

Learning a language for 12 years and not being fluent

Going absolutely mental at concerts because famous people rarely come over

Flat 7UP heals all illnesses

Calling Joe Duffy instead of the Guards

44leto

Don't stick to Dublin, it is true what they say about Ireland, it is truly beautiful in places. A mythical mystical place and very unique scenery. You also don't have to pay through the nose to see it we have extensive hostels dotted around the empire. They are better crack then the B and Bs, especially if you are young.

Red21

An Garda Siochana (our police force) don't carry guns and they get on just fine.

Robdude

crfcaio wrote: »

foreigners MUST know before going there.

Of what should I be aware?

Enlighten me, AH.

This is like asking what a new student MUST know about his or her particular University. As much as each University wants to tell you how great and unique they are; they aren't. The experience you find at one is nearly identical to the experiences you find in another.

It's all the same.

Certainly, in all of the English speaking countries I've seen....same people, same problems, same culture. Oh sure, one country has a bunch of old guys getting drunk watching athletes playing a sport with slightly different rules than another country. But the differences are superficial.

Most people are good people.
Some people are jerks.
A tiny percentage of people f***ed up.

Most laws are good laws.
Some laws are kinda stupid.
A tiny percentage of laws are f***ed up.

Most people, when the talk about country X - point out all of the f***ed up people who have made the news and all of the f***ed laws to say how different they are - while ignoring the f***ed things in their country.

The US has plenty of f***ed stuff.
The f***ed stuff in Ireland is virtually no different.

smash

44leto wrote: »

A mythical mystical place and very unique scenery.

But if you do miss it, just go to Scotland next :pac:

Fratton Fred

dots03 wrote: »

...and never, ever leave the Immersion on.

In fact, stay away from all hot presses at all times and you'll be grand.

Actually, that's another thing to understand.

In Ireland, a cupboard is called a press and a drain is called a shore.

Why, I don't know, but it is.

smash

Fratton Fred wrote: »

In Ireland, a cupboard is called a press and a drain is called a shore.

And fizzy drinks are called minerals for some reason.

The King of Moo

The roads are taken in at 6pm every evening in the winter, and 9pm in the summer.

We're still too uncomfortable, as a whole, to directly say that a woman is beautiful, so instead of a beauty pageant we have an annual lovely girls competition, where women are rated on their harp-playing and dancing skills, and their ability to have had parents who left Ireland.

We also have a Hunger Games-style tournament where the fittest young men from the most deprived parts of the country fight each other to the death for our amusement until about twenty of the roughest, thickest ones remain. They then go on to take part in the annual televised pageant as protectors for the lovely girls.
We call them "escorts."

xflyer

We call them "escorts."

With absolutely no sense of irony. Of course they never ever sleep with them.;)