Things about Ireland that

44leto

smash wrote: »

But if you do miss it, just go to Scotland next :pac:

Been to and yes it is, maybe I have something for desolate places, I also like deserts and getting to the Antarctic is a life target of mine. ATM a post recession one.

micropig

smash wrote: »

Being Grand!!

When we greet with "How are you?", we do not want a list of you medical ailments, we're just looking for the reply "How are ya" or "Grand":D


And if you ask us how we are, "We're grand"

woodchuck

Nobody is ever on time.

If you're meeting people for drinks or a house party at '8', you're better off showing up around 10.

44leto

woodchuck wrote: »

Nobody is ever on time.

If you're meeting people for drinks or a house party at '8', you're better off showing up around 10.

2 hours late, you have a lot of punctual irish friends.

woodchuck

44leto wrote: »

2 hours late, you have a lot of punctual irish friends.

Well I am usually the first one there :P

Celly Smunt

if we like you we'll call you a "fúcking eejit"

Omackeral

Try not to be confused by some idiot telling you just how much he hates the English.... while he's wearing a Liverpool/Manchester United/Arsenal Jersey.

It's very common over here.

Fiona

MyKeyG wrote: »

But I have this rare medical condition. If I drink tea there's a good chance I'll die!

Nonsence the tea will cure you!

dots03 wrote: »

...and never, ever leave the Immersion on.

In fact, stay away from all hot presses at all times and you'll be grand.

Des Bishop was the one that did the sketch on that yeah? Priceless!

Funglegunk

Still coming over OP?

superstoner90

Not all irish people are ginger and drink guinness.

micropig

We're allowed complain about the politicians and the state of the country's finances, etc


But by god, if you do, we'll turn on you:D

pragmatic1

Like every country we have our fair share of scumbags but in Ireland we dont hide them away.

DEFTLEFTHAND

Stay within the walls of the Pale, the countryside is run by tribal clans and bandits. Actually on second thought that applies to the country as a whole.

AskMyChocolate

mrs crilly wrote: »

So true!!

And 20 mins is really 45 mins.

And never refuse a cup of tea, it will upset the person offering it

MyKeyG wrote: »

But I have this rare medical condition. If I drink tea there's a good chance I'll die!

Small price to pay for not upsetting someone in all fairness!

Remember you're in Ireland now.

Davidson2k9

We're not ginger leprechauns/farmers/pikeys who eat potatoes or live in caravans. And we dont say "top of the morning to ya". Well thats what alot of Brits think, dunno what yee think in america.

St.Spodo

Don't be startled if someone proposes going out for ''a bit of craic''. It's not gonna be drugs; well, it might be, but probably not crack.

mattjack

Jocks here in Ireland are our boxers etc ,not like in the US where your Jocks are athletes.

Funglegunk

If you offer to give someone vehicular transportation, that's called a 'giving them a lift'. The word 'ride' has a slightly different meaning over here.

jenndudess79

If you decide to take public transport, DONT stand and read the timetable.

Its just a cruel way of distracting you while your bus driver drives by you laughing and waving at you.
The timetable's are not real. Your bus will never be on time.

Just bring a packed lunch and hope for the best.

O1

scorpioishere wrote: »

* Some of the irish are smelly
* Irish streets are full of piss and **** over the week end

No it's not.
There are places out there where the streets genuinely are full of human **** and piss.
Ireland is a stunningly clean and fresh place to walk around by comparison, even on the weekend.

Chuck Stone

If you refuse a plate of bhutter & shpuds you will be considered a qware type.

thebigbiffo

Do expect to meet someone young fella in a pub practically crying while singing the fields of athenry (Irish national anthem to me and you) before moving along to a rousing version of the wild rover.

Chevolution

MyKeyG wrote: »

But I have this rare medical condition. If I drink tea there's a good chance I'll die!

And if you dont drink the tea there is a greater chance that you'll die!! Your choice.

MrJoeSoap

Don't trust the road signs, they're bloody awful.

brambo

We often use the cost of a pint for comparison purposes:

"How much is it?"
"Sure it's only a fiver - the price of a pint."

shopaholic01

Funglegunk wrote: »

If you offer to give someone vehicular transportation, that's called a 'giving them a lift'. The word 'ride' has a slightly different meaning over here.

Fanny has a different meaning too

crfcaio

shopaholic01 wrote: »

Funglegunk wrote: »

If you offer to give someone vehicular transportation, that's called a 'giving them a lift'. The word 'ride' has a slightly different meaning over here.

Fanny has a different meaning too

Is it used in the same way we use pussy?

Doc Ruby

The guy with the beer has right of way.

shopaholic01

crfcaio wrote: »

Is it used in the same way we use pussy?

It is indeed, but you can use that here too. Mind you an older person will think you are referring to a cat.
Remember when the committments came out and people in other countries were given a refernce/phrase book at the cinema? You should try to obtain one of these, there are just so many opportunities to make a social faux pas and offend our innate sensitivity:D

rainbowdrop

MrJoeSoap wrote: »

Don't trust the road signs, they're bloody awful.

Especially do not trust the road signs in rural Ireland, as it's nearly guaranteed that a local teenager has put them facing the opposite way to the way they should be! For example: If you reach a junction in rural Ireland and the sign points left, saying 'Ballygobackwards 5km', then turn right. If it say's turn right, turn left........

If your great, great, great grandaddy's cousin's dog was Irish - Don't tell us, we don't fucking care (unless your loaded, then we'll pretend to be your long lost relative:P)

Leprechaun's do not exist.

Neither does Roscommon.

Babybuff

Irish people don't depend on clocks and have a relatively poor concept of time. They can calculate aproximations of time given the amount of light in the sky and critical periods during the day are denoted by corresponding meals ie: dinner time is usually somewhere between 1 and 2pm and tea time is sometime after the angelus*. Expect them to be late for most things.



*6pmish.

Lapin

Just don't ever think of imitating an Irish accent.

There's no such thing.

Every county, city, town and village has its own distinct accent.

You try taking one of those accents off (especially while telling us the great Irish Joke you heard on the plane over) and you will instantly lose all bonus points, novelty yankee value (its allright for us to do it) and shagging rights you earned to get here.

Honest. Its our sensitive nature see.

Seomra Mushie

mikemac1 wrote: »

All crisps are Taytos and that's the way it will remain

No they're not! I call them crisps even if they are Tayto.

Irish Guitarist

If someone approaches you and says "can you spare a fag?" he's looking for a cigarette.

The word 'couple' usually means more than two.

If you're a man don't talk about your 'fanny'. It doesn't mean backside here.

The short version of Patrick is Paddy, it's not Patty.

mattjack

Also there's no such thing as going for 'a' pint.Its either no alcohol at all 'cause your on antibiotics or a minimum of five pints leading up to a three night bender.

In fact I think its illegal to have just a pint.

44leto

There is an unfortunate race of people from ireland called the culchies, these are people who exist outside Dublin, they are Ireland Aboriginals they still mainly exist off the land. The civilisation process is touching them as more Dubs move into their hinterland, their language and customs are a bit strange, so just laugh at them and encourage their modernisation by saying "less of that country and bog thinking you are almost part of Dublin now".

We have a great game of GAA football, Dublin are known through Ireland as the Brazil of that game.

Bluesteel7

44leto wrote: »

There is an unfortunate race of people from ireland called the culchies, these are people who exist outside Dublin, they are Ireland Aboriginals they still mainly exist off the land. The civilisation process is touching them as more Dubs move into their hinterland, their language and customs are a bit strange, so just laugh at them and encourage their modernisation by saying "less of that country and bog thinking you are almost part of Dublin now".
QUOTE]


As a Dub that has moved to the culchie- land I would advise not to speak to them at all. Their ways are strange and you could easily turn into one.

mikemac1

Gallstones? Liver trouble? Bad lungs? Blood issues? Broken bones?
Are you staying in hospital with an issue?

Well Diet 7up is the greatest cure known to man

Go visit a hospital and you'll see it everywhere

ilovesleep

When in Dublin, if you see a man rummaging in his pockets he's having a ****.

fuerte1976

MrJoeSoap wrote: »

Don't trust the road signs, they're bloody awful.

Too true, see here :D

http://www.boards.ie/vbulletin/showthread.php?threadid=2056595845

:p

corktina

the whole place is full of gangs shooting each other and wannabe movie stars pumping gas and parking cars, everyone has a tan and girls roller skate along by the beach whilst they and everyone else wear their sunglasses on top of their heads and talk very loudly. Oh no, wait, thats LA isnt it.

IRELAND? oh well it's great in Cork at any rate.

bout3fiddy

newmug wrote: »

Remeber this: The english are our mortal enemy, much like the germans are to the Polish, and the taliban is to America. Never, EVER, EVER, say we look / behave / speak like the english. Never ask why we dont speak our own language, or why some people follow english soccer teams. You will just be inviting unnescessary punishment upon yourself if you do.

Really? Despite the fact most customs in Ireland are passed down from English tradition? Most of our culture has been pilfered from the Brits. You are in a minority my friend. There is no longer real hatred towards the British in this country. Irish people are actually treated much the same as their own citizens in the UK. Unlike the French or Germans. The British even offered to help this country during the crash in 2010. What did the continental folk do? Laugh.

Caraville

In some parts of Ireland, "Well" is a sufficient enough greeting that covers "Hello, how are you, I hope I find you in good health". "Well" is also the reply that you give to that greeting, unless you are not in good health in which case you reply "A bit shook". Bear in mind though that you actually don't care how the other person is.

A pint of milk with your dinner in a restaurant is perfectly acceptable. Full fat only though. And NEVER use UHT milk cos it's ****e.

If you ever meet an Irish Mammy, bear in mind that she will think that her sons are the reincarnation of Christ Himself. Her daughters are alright too, but they can fend for themselves (they did Home Economics in school you see) and will marry the sons of another Irish Mammy and will have to spend their lives trying to live up to their husband's beloved Mammy's reputation. They will fail miserably but they'll give birth to their own sons and the whole thing starts again...

rainbowdrop

mikemac1 wrote: »

Gallstones? Liver trouble? Bad lungs? Blood issues? Broken bones?
Are you staying in hospital with an issue?

Well Diet 7up is the greatest cure known to man

Go visit a hospital and you'll see it everywhere

Diet 7up, or boiled milk with pepper in it!!

One of the most popular games that the younger generation (ie under 35's) of rural Ireland like to play with their parent's is the 'guess who died?' game......

It goes something like this:
One or both parent's listen's to the death notices on local radio (yes, in Ireland, they read out the names of people who have died recently)
The son/daughter of said (usually middle-aged) parents are then expected to play 'guess who died' with their parent's, even if they have no interest in who actually died.

Parent - "Guess who died?"
Child - "who?"
Parent - "John/Jim/Mary/Bridie *insert surname here*"
Child - "I don't know them"
Parent - "Ahh, you do..... He was married to yer one from the next town"
Child - "Nope, still don't know them"
Parent - "Ahh, you do.... he's a brother to Paddy such n such"
Child - " No, still don't know him"
Parent - "Ahh, you must know him, he has a son about your age"
Child - "I DON'T FCUKING KNOW HIM MAM!!!!!!"
Parent - (through pursed lips) "Well, will you be going to the funeral?"

crfcaio

What is a slang for "cool" in Ireland? I wanna call this thread a [Irish slang for cool] one

corktina

crfcaio wrote: »

What is a slang for "cool" in Ireland? I wanna call this thread a [Irish slang for cool] one

i think its thoin isnt it?

shopaholic01

rainbowdrop wrote: »

Diet 7up, or boiled milk with pepper in it!!

One of the most popular games that the younger generation (ie under 35's) of rural Ireland like to play with their parent's is the 'guess who died?' game......

It goes something like this:
One or both parent's listen's to the death notices on local radio (yes, in Ireland, they read out the names of people who have died recently)
The son/daughter of said (usually middle-aged) parents are then expected to play 'guess who died' with their parent's, even if they have no interest in who actually died.

Parent - "Guess who died?"
Child - "who?"
Parent - "John/Jim/Mary/Bridie *insert surname here*"
Child - "I don't know them"
Parent - "Ahh, you do..... He was married to yer one from the next town"
Child - "Nope, still don't know them"
Parent - "Ahh, you do.... he's a brother to Paddy such n such"
Child - " No, still don't know him"
Parent - "Ahh, you must know him, he has a son about your age"
Child - "I DON'T FCUKING KNOW HIM MAM!!!!!!"
Parent - (through pursed lips) "Well, will you be going to the funeral?"

Because you'll have to pass yourself

mattjack

Ireland has regular power failures due to wet turf.Don't be surprised if your asked to bring the turf indoors at night.

DEFTLEFTHAND

crfcaio wrote: »

What is a slang for "cool" in Ireland? I wanna call this thread a [Irish slang for cool] one

Fionnuar is the direct translation but it would never be used in the context that you mean. People would just say cool, a lot of English words cross over in the modern Irish language vocab.

Lapin

crfcaio wrote: »

What is a slang for "cool" in Ireland? I wanna call this thread a [Irish slang for cool] one

Shtone mad.