Nagging in relationships

Scanlas The 2nd

Why is it that women seem to do the majority of nagging in relationships?

I suggest the reason could be related to women using sex as a tool for power in relationships.

Men wouldn't put up with anyone else nagging them in such a manner, nor women. I think men find it more difficult going without sex ( not all men/women). Women can use this to their advantage in relationships by making men do what they want them to do to a certain degree. Men put up with it because if they don't comply the woman gets into a bad mood and the likelihood of sex diminishes.

If what I'm saying is true men who generally have more options or find it easier to get sex should have less nagging to deal with on average compared to men whoever less ability to attract women because women would have less power over attractive men.

Flojo

Vaginas = power. Jeeez took you long enough.

DEFTLEFTHAND

I'm currently been nagged to put away the cans and catch a few hours kip. E'm no just because you got up early doesn't mean I've to stop boozing, and its my house anyway, So There!:mad:

deelite

DEFTLEFTHAND wrote: »

I'm currently been nagged to put away the cans and catch a few hours kip. E'm no just because you got up early doesn't mean I've to stop boozing, and its my house anyway, So There!:mad:

I'm not nagging you ... I'm just talking to you. can't believe you've ruined Easter

grindle

DEFTLEFTHAND wrote: »

I'm currently been nagged to put away the cans and catch a few hours kip. E'm no just because you got up early doesn't mean I've to stop boozing, and its my house anyway, So There!:mad:

Kick to the vagina = power.

Flojo

grindle wrote: »

Kick to the vagina = power.

Easily counteracted by a /flick to the balls

ted1

DEFTLEFTHAND wrote: »

I'm currently been nagged to put away the cans and catch a few hours kip. E'm no just because you got up early doesn't mean I've to stop boozing, and its my house anyway, So There!:mad:

maybe she just wants you to go to bed for some action

Giselle

Scanlas The 2nd wrote: »

Why is it that women seem to do the majority of nagging in relationships?

Perception.

Woman making point repeatedly after being ignored - she's nagging.

Man making point repeatedly after being ignored - he's being adamant, refusing to be sidelined, won't be cowed into silence etc.etc.

deelite

ted1 wrote: »

maybe she just wants you to go to bed for some action

I've a different type of bunny for that xx:D

grindle

Flojo wrote: »

Easily counteracted by a /flick to the balls

Easily avoided by cutting your own balls off.

Control your own emasculation.

Resume kicking.

DEFTLEFTHAND

ted1 wrote: »

maybe she just wants you to go to bed for some action

I'm in no state for action at the moment.:pac:

Flojo

grindle wrote: »

Easily avoided by cutting your own balls off.

Control your own emasculation.

Resume kicking.

Stick thumbs into eye sockets and kick shins. Hard.

Rinse and repeat.

cartell_best

deelite wrote: »

I'm not nagging you ... I'm just talking to you. can't believe you've ruined Easter

hahahaha brilliant sounds like my family

Wibbs

I dunno, some women nag, some don't. The ones that do are a bloody nightmare mind you. The "I'll never be satisfied with anything" brigade. I remember reading one theory that tried to claim nagging had a evolutionary component and it was a way that women could keep men slightly on edge so they'd be more aware of external dangers. Very dubious IMHO.

Though I have noted relationship status affecting it. I've women mates who would be among the soundest, most level headed people I've known. If you're a friend. If you're a boyfriend this changes. One in particular is very extreme. You really couldn't ask for a more easy going friend, but I pity anyone who goes out with her. Nightmare.

Maybe it's a test? A test to see how emotionally stable the bloke is and his fitness as a dad? IE if he freaks out at the test maybe he's not the best bet to be around children who can be emotionally all over the place. This would kinda explain the women who are non nags as mates, but nags as partners. No point testing a mate as they're not risking getting pregnant by them.

Most of all I'd say it's down to some women being pains. And/or their bloke being a pain. Some men get very blase and lazy in relationships, so she figures or learns that the only way to get him to do anything is by nagging him or her frustration comes out as nagging. That's just as common IME. Or it's a symptom of a relationship that's just treading water or they were never particularly compatible in the first place. We can fall into the trap of being led by our naughty bits and hearts, not heads. When the honeymoon is over you can find yourself trapped in the wrong relationship, but you plug on and the frustration comes out as unhealthy behaviour.

The sex part I'm not so sure about. If it was you'd think you'd see more nagging in the early days when sex is more regular than in a real long termer where it's once a week or whatever.

Seomra Mushie

There are some gender stereotypes I hate but this one, I'm happy to concur with. Women nag, I'm sorry, we just do.

grindle

Seomra Mushie wrote: »

There are some gender stereotypes I hate but this one, I'm happy to concur with. Women nag, I'm sorry, we just do.

...and ye bitch a lot. Even the nicest girls.
If they're surrounded by other girls and think that any guy in the group is okayed for listening to it (by the GF), the bitching is incredible, juggernaut-esque.
While we're admitting obvious generalisms, men are "emotionally" thoughtless and lazy.

doulikeit

Easy do what you want then just have a crank its fcuken not rocket science
Happily married for years

Seomra Mushie

grindle wrote: »

...and ye bitch a lot. Even the nicest girls.

OK, this is an irksome gender stereotype. Well, what irks me is that men can be as scathingly gossipy as women but it seems to be passed of as joking around.

Sul

Women wouldn't nag if men did what they were asked the first time. Why do men have to be repeatedly asked to do something?? I know there are women who are very high maintenance but on the flip side there are men who are extremely lazy

It works both ways.....

phill106

Sul wrote: »

Women wouldn't nag if men did what they were asked the first time. Why do men have to be repeatedly asked to do something?? I know there are women who are very high maintenance but on the flip side there are men who are extremely lazy

It works both ways.....

Just because you ask it, doesn't mean we have to do it. We are not robots/slaves!

ladypip

I nag. Now after that admission listen to the reason why.

If I ask my partner not to leave his shoes at the bottom of the stairs because me or our four year old might trip over them he wont..for a week then he will leave them there again, so again I will ask him the same thing. come the fifth/ sixth/ seventh time of asking him I get annoyed and pretty damn upset that he is neither listening to be or respecting me enough to take my feelings into account.

If the same partner asked me to do or not do something (within reason) that would make his life easier. I would no questions asked.

I am not saying all men are like my partner and Im also not saying this is a huge problem in our relationship, just one of those things to work on.

Also I have a higher sex drive than him so I certainly don't use it as a way to control sex.

Scanlas The 2nd

Sul wrote: »

Women wouldn't nag if men did what they were asked the first time. Why do men have to be repeatedly asked to do something?? I know there are women who are very high maintenance but on the flip side there are men who are extremely lazy

It works both ways.....

But why do women seem to do most of the asking to do something?

Of course women nag more than men.

It's because women only need to be asked once.

Sul

phill106 wrote: »

Sul wrote: »

Women wouldn't nag if men did what they were asked the first time. Why do men have to be repeatedly asked to do something?? I know there are women who are very high maintenance but on the flip side there are men who are extremely lazy

It works both ways.....

Just because you ask it, doesn't mean we have to do it. We are not robots/slaves!

And we are not your mothers!!! Yet we are expected to clean up the mess all the time.

phill106

Sul wrote: »

And we are not your mothers!!! Yet we are expected to clean up the mess all the time.

But...but...but...
You are the wimmins!
I must go out and hunt mammoths or something, I don't have time to be cleaning!

Sul

Scanlas The 2nd wrote: »

Sul wrote: »

Women wouldn't nag if men did what they were asked the first time. Why do men have to be repeatedly asked to do something?? I know there are women who are very high maintenance but on the flip side there are men who are extremely lazy

It works both ways.....

But why do women seem to do most of the asking to do something?

Because they have too. I clean up after myself. Its quite an easy thing to do. Yet my last partner seemed to think it was perfectly ok for me to come home after work to a dirty kitchen and cook dinner.

Im not high maintenance. I dont expect to be waited on hand and foot or to be wined and dine and bought expensive gifts. But if I live with someone I expect everything to be shared equally.

Sul

phill106 wrote: »

Sul wrote: »

And we are not your mothers!!! Yet we are expected to clean up the mess all the time.

But...but...but...
You are the wimmins!
I must go out and hunt mammoths or something, I don't have time to be cleaning!

:-D

luckyfrank

Amen brother what would we give them a reason to nag for

:rolleyes:

whatdoicare

I nag my husband- if I didn't he'd be dead by now, true story!

Last year he cut his hand doing whatever it is men do in the garden- he then proceeded to do the manly thing of not washing his hands and plugging up the blood with some more dirt.

Two days later he wakes me up at 4 am saying he can't sleep with the pain in his hand ( I knew nothing of any cuts as he had been hiding it from me - most likely to avoid me demanding he pay to go to a doctor or god forbid that he washed his hands)

I go straight into wife nagging mode until he gets in the car and I get him into a hospital- this takes a full two hours of nagging believe it or not.

Five hours later he's on an operating table being treated for septicemia- surgeon tells me he had literally hours before the poisons got to his heart and death. Yes, you read that right- DEATH.

Of course the next month was spent nagging him to take his medication ( a whopping nine tablets four times a day) and keep his stitches clean- also more nagging to get him to go to his follow on check up and finally yet more nagging to get him to go get his stitches removed.

So basically my nagging is keeping the love of my life alive despite his best efforts.

TLDR nagging saves lives.

grindle

Seomra Mushie wrote: »

OK, this is an irksome gender stereotype. Well, what irks me is that men can be as scathingly gossipy as women but it seems to be passed of as joking around.

It is irksome, but stereotypes tend to exist for a reason - most men are lazy, most women nag, most men are sexist, so are most women, but it gets called feminism nowadays (not saying there was no genuine feminism, just that it's been corrupted and deviated towards misandry).

Usually when guys are being scathingly gossipy, the victim is there, and giving it back in spades, whereas with women it's usually a character assassination against the missing, defenceless victim.

Usually. There are exceptions on both sides.

Seomra Mushie

grindle wrote: »

Usually when guys are being scathingly gossipy, the victim is there, and giving it back in spades, whereas with women it's usually a character assassination against the missing, defenceless victim.

Usually. There are exceptions on both sides.

Nope, not been my observation at all, and not only in exceptional circumstances. Most time, the subject hasn't been there and the men are either dishing the gossip or salaciously lapping it up.

cournioni

It's all a test.

grindle

Seomra Mushie wrote: »

Nope, not been my observation at all, and not only in exceptional circumstances. Most time, the subject hasn't been there and the men are either dishing the gossip or salaciously lapping it up.

Weird.

Disclaimer: Impending Stereotype

Are they gay?

Seomra Mushie

grindle wrote: »

Weird.

Disclaimer: Impending Stereotype

Are they gay?

I actually don't have any male gay friends, a realisation I have just come to now.

I don't think it's weird at all, btw!

mattjack

'YEAH IS'NT IN ANY WONDER YOUR FCUKIN' FATHER WENT DEAF,ALL THAT FCKIN 'NAGGIN.... ..................................... no mrs M doesn't that much.

Sul

grindle wrote: »

Seomra Mushie wrote: »

Nope, not been my observation at all, and not only in exceptional circumstances. Most time, the subject hasn't been there and the men are either dishing the gossip or salaciously lapping it up.

Weird.

Disclaimer: Impending Stereotype

Are they gay?

I too have come across loads of guys who gossip and love nothing more then a bit of scandal. One guy I knew was a terrible gossip he was like one of the girls! None of them gay...

Men do gossip but mostly they aren't like women who go out of their way to gossip. Like if I hear something ill ring my sister and tell her where as men would most likely forget it and then bring it into a conversation next time they are down the pub.

I gossip, not afraid to admit it. But im not 2 faced. I wouldn't and couldn't sit in the company of someone I dont like and be all nice to their face but bitch behind their back. If I dont like or get along with someone then I wouldn't really talk to them other than say hello.

grindle

Seomra Mushie wrote: »

I don't think it's weird at all, btw!

From my perspective, I meant. Don't know bitchy guys that aren't gay, unless you include bitching about nagging.

I think Wibbs may have had it right about testing for emotional stability (by driving to drink/suicide/murder?) on a sub-concious level.

DEFTLEFTHAND

Fight breaking out here lads, I've just been called a loser for posting on boards. WTF everyone knows Boards is where its at.:cool:

Sul

grindle wrote: »

Seomra Mushie wrote: »

I don't think it's weird at all, btw!

From my perspective, I meant. Don't know bitchy guys that aren't gay, unless you include bitching about nagging.

I think Wibbs may have had it right about testing for emotional stability (by driving to drink/suicide/murder?) on a sub-concious level.

Thats utter bull! Women 'nag' because they have to. Being asked something more than once is a pain in the arse but having to ask 3 or 4 times is worse.
Like someone said above, she has to repeatedly ask her partner not to leave his shoes on the stairs on case their child trips over them. Its not rocket science. Yet after a week he forgets and does it again. So she has to begin 'nagging' him again. What makes it so hard for men to forget things like that?

mattjack

DEFTLEFTHAND wrote: »

Fight breaking out here lads, I've just been called a loser for posting on boards. WTF everyone knows Boards is where its at.:cool:

Any cans left ?

skylight1987

My husband ,i will floor the attic.
Me, cant we just pay someone to do it.
Him, no way i will do it myself.
Two years later , attic half floored .

Husband, i will makeover the garden.
Me, cant we get a gardener in to do it.
Him, no way can easily do it myself.
Two years later half the garden done.

So i live with half an attic and half a garden and if i point this out i am nagging
drives me crazy:mad:

stovelid

A lot of men, like me, are a bit like wild animals or children when left to their own devices and need a bit of cultivation and nagging to keep them on the straight and narrow. As much as It's annoying to listen to at times, the woman is generally right and It's a small long-term price to pay for sex, love, companionship and a family.

Caraville

I would call it nagging if what the woman was asking for was unreasonable. But generally most of the time it isn't, yet the man feels like it's nagging because he's having to go out of his way to do what's being asked.

I've seen it with my father, my brother, my ex, my male friends, and with male students I've taught. You honestly sometimes are made to feel like the biggest bitch in the world sometimes and it can be really exhausting. You a start questioning yourself thinking "am I really that unreasonable? Am I asking too much?" when deep down you know you're not.

I taught boys for 6 years and I've taught girls for two- and for all their giddiness and silliness and bitchiness (which actually people think would be bad in an all girls school, but it's only very occasionally) I wouldn't go back teaching boys in a million years. There's better craic teaching boys, but Jesus they were hard work when you were trying to get them to do anything serious like actually study, or do homework, or even listen in class. I was so exhausted every day, Now I honestly don't know myself. I ask the girls once and it's done, I would have had to ask the lads 3 or 4 times. Lovely lads, but I ended up having to nag ALL the time and it was horrible. Girls just get on with it, and my life is so much easier for it.

DEFTLEFTHAND

mattjack wrote: »

Any cans left ?

I've another crate in the garage that she doesn't know about.:D She's down getting scones at the minute so I'm temporarily in peace.:)

theg81der

I think some men (my hubby) can`t function without nagging. They miss it if you stop cause nothing is done.

BBDBB

whatdoicare wrote: »

I nag my husband- if I didn't he'd be dead by now, true story!

Last year he cut his hand doing whatever it is men do in the garden- he then proceeded to do the manly thing of not washing his hands and plugging up the blood with some more dirt.

Two days later he wakes me up at 4 am saying he can't sleep with the pain in his hand ( I knew nothing of any cuts as he had been hiding it from me - most likely to avoid me demanding he pay to go to a doctor or god forbid that he washed his hands)

I go straight into wife nagging mode until he gets in the car and I get him into a hospital- this takes a full two hours of nagging believe it or not.

Five hours later he's on an operating table being treated for septicemia- surgeon tells me he had literally hours before the poisons got to his heart and death. Yes, you read that right- DEATH.

Of course the next month was spent nagging him to take his medication ( a whopping nine tablets four times a day) and keep his stitches clean- also more nagging to get him to go to his follow on check up and finally yet more nagging to get him to go get his stitches removed.

So basically my nagging is keeping the love of my life alive despite his best efforts.

TLDR nagging saves lives.

yes dear


*resumes reading the paper

AngryBollix

Scanlas The 2nd wrote: »

Why is it that women seem to do the majority of nagging in relationships?

I suggest the reason could be related to women using sex as a tool for power in relationships.

Men wouldn't put up with anyone else nagging them in such a manner, nor women. I think men find it more difficult going without sex ( not all men/women). Women can use this to their advantage in relationships by making men do what they want them to do to a certain degree. Men put up with it because if they don't comply the woman gets into a bad mood and the likelihood of sex diminishes.

If what I'm saying is true men who generally have more options or find it easier to get sex should have less nagging to deal with on average compared to men whoever less ability to attract women because women would have less power over attractive men.

I like using power tools during sex too

DEFTLEFTHAND

The living bitch is back in the vicinity. Tell me whats wrong with a man having a few jars on the day of rest?

Wild Bill

Didn't the famous golfer, Alice Cooper, once write a song called "Only Women Nag"?

grindle

Sul wrote: »

Thats utter bull! Women 'nag' because they have to. Being asked something more than once is a pain in the arse but having to ask 3 or 4 times is worse.
Like someone said above, she has to repeatedly ask her partner not to leave his shoes on the stairs on case their child trips over them. Its not rocket science. Yet after a week he forgets and does it again. So she has to begin 'nagging' him again. What makes it so hard for men to forget things like that?

We've terribly memories, ye're oblivious to logic, but with our powers combined, we can just about manage to create obnoxious miniatures of ourselves.

I understand the frustration with repetition, but I have to repeat basic common sense and bestow the magic of reasoned thoughts unhindered by coin-flip emotions every day.

Both genders have their stereotypical failings.
I've been nagged-at for having fun (different house, no disturbing) when she couldn't.
I've wanted to go out but couldn't plenty of times, when she did...
She never got nagged about it.

On the flipside, I forget sh!t, or, when it comes to her third-cousin finally getting her wisdom teeth, couldn't give a fukc if I had a full sac of fukcs to give.

mattjack

DEFTLEFTHAND wrote: »

The living bitch is back in the vicinity. Tell me whats wrong with a man having a few jars on the day of rest?

I'll pass that question out to the audience.