Are you an alcoholic?

brummytom

You answered 11 items out of 20 Yes.

Your score is 55%. According to the Office of Health Care Programs, Johns Hopkins University Hospital, developers of this screening quiz, if you answered as few as 3 of these questions with a Yes it is a definite sign that your drinking patterns are harmful and considered alcohol dependent or alcoholic. Since you answered more than 3 questions Yes you should seek an evaluation by a healthcare professional.

Utter bollocks. Retarded 'quiz'.


What does the question about 'turning to inferior people and environments' or something mean, though?

Immaculate Pasta

super_furry wrote: »

I'm an Irish social drinker, which translates to an American alcoholic.

Agreed. This sums up my feeling to it at all. I don't like the term alcoholic. Alcoholics exist, of course they do, and it's a serious problem if you are one but, I think it's branded around far too much these days. It's yet another sensationalising everything thanks to domineering American culture and TV. All this Rehab bollocks that American's sprout is a load of rubbish. It seems to be the answer to everything.

Standard American TV show

"Dude I drank so much last night man.

No way man. You gotta get your ass to rehab man. This can be like your intervention man.

Yeah man I must be at the lowest of the low man.

*2 days later*

Yeah I'm out man. Woo! *high fives friend* I'm on a 12 step programme now man. I've got my sponsor dude.

I'm proud of you man woo!"

*end of character story arc* :cool:

shopaholic01

brummytom wrote: »

Utter bollocks. Retarded 'quiz'.


What does the question about 'turning to inferior people and environments' or something mean, though?

Sitting on a bench drinking methylated spirits out of a paper bag with the winos

Corvo

"You answered 13 items out of 20 Yes.
Your score is 65%. According to the Office of Health Care Programs, Johns Hopkins University Hospital, developers of this screening quiz, if you answered as few as 3 of these questions with a Yes it is a definite sign that your drinking patterns are harmful and considered alcohol dependent or alcoholic. Since you answered more than half of these questions Yes you should definitely seek an evaluation by a healthcare professional as soon as possible"

I'm fooked anyway lads

HalloweenJack

some random drunk wrote: »

the questions are too vague for it to be a reliable indicator that you have a drinking problem.

Agreed. One I answered yes to was along the lines of "Have you ended up in hospital because of drinking?".

I have. One night, when very drunk, I got in a fight and ended up with a broken nose. To me, it was an indirect result of drinking. I think the question means "Did you ever get so drunk you had to have your stomach pumped?", which, in my case, is no.

However, the vagueness of the question means you'd probably fail a lie detector test if you said no.

Namlub

brummytom wrote: »

Utter bollocks. Retarded 'quiz'.


What does the question about 'turning to inferior people and environments' or something mean, though?

I assumed it meant that point in the night where you end up with people you don't really like, telling them how much you love them. Happens to me a lot...

I got 8 and I'm an alcoholic. It's all so clear now.

Morag

No.
Alcochoics go to meetings.

shopaholic01

HalloweenJack wrote: »

Agreed. One I answered yes to was along the lines of "Have you ended up in hospital because of drinking?".

I have. One night, when very drunk, I got in a fight and ended up with a broken nose. To me, it was an indirect result of drinking. I think the question means "Did you ever get so drunk you had to have your stomach pumped?", which, in my case, is no.

However, the vagueness of the question means you'd probably fail a lie detector test if you said no.

LOL, just noticed your user name. So, is it true? Are you really a 'real cool cat and do you live on top of Manhatten chase'?:D

Ted_YNWA

only have a drink problem when i dont have any

jaspertheghost

thats a load of horse sh**e...if ya answered 3 your an alco....that would surely make us all pissheads....right im off for a few cans..yay

Coriolanus

No, but I would have been if I hadn't radically changed how I drank. Plus there's a long history of alcoholism in the family so I took that to be an added warning sign.

Salt001

I answered 3 questions with a yes so I'm on the slippery slope :rolleyes:

df1985

By american standards Id need Rehab, by irish standards im perfectly normal!

God...

Got 12/20
Should probably calm down... but that's nothing new!

Sykk

That survey is just lol!

Micky Dolenz

Quitting is for losers.

Chuck Stone

Puritanical bullshit.

HalloweenJack

shopaholic01 wrote: »

LOL, just noticed your user name. So, is it true? Are you really a 'real cool cat and do you live on top of Manhatten chase'?:D

My mom says I'm cool and I live above a nightclub for Eastern European snobs.

So it's possible.

PS. Delighted someone gets the reference.

Capt'n Midnight

brummytom wrote: »

Utter bollocks. Retarded 'quiz'.


What does the question about 'turning to inferior people and environments' or something mean, though?

knacker drinking


Students ,cider, park

Capt'n Midnight

BigBrownBear wrote: »

Unless your drinking is affecting your

• Health
• Finances
• Relationships
• Job Performance
• Mood/Self Esteem
  
  You're NOT an alcoholic

you're a functioning alcoholic :pac:

MaroonAndGreen

Ya mightn't be an alcoholic, you could be a problem drinker or something.

Unlikely as that test looks like a load of c*ck anyway :rolleyes:

silvine

Sharrow wrote: »

No.
Alcochoics go to meetings.

Drunks go to parties.

syklops

I used to smoke. I was addicted to nicotine, and the first thing i did when I woke up in the morning was have a smoke. Before tea, before water, or orange juice. Thats addiction.

I drink regularly, but I manage to get through breakfast, lunch and often dinner without a drink. Thats not addiction. I can do a days work, or on a saturday do a day of cleaning, shopping etc with out even wanting or fancying a drink. Thats not addiction. I answered about 3 out of the 20.

gracehopper

i don't need to do the test, the answer is yes ,i am an alcoholic but a functioning one and to be honest, i function better having a few pints than if i don't

mongdesade

Absolute crock of MERDE...I drink 5 out of 7 days average, brew my own beer & answered honestly yes to 2 questions !
I'm a highly functioning alcoholic