Wednesday 'Uns

MonkieSocks

There is this guy and this girl and they want to have sex.

So, they go to the girl’s house and before entering her room, the girl stops and says,

"My little sister sleeps on the bottom bunk of our bed and I do not want her to know what we are doing.

So when I say, ’Baloney,’ it means push harder, and when I say, ’Pastrami,’ it means push softer."

With this, the two get onto the top bunk and have sex.

First, the girl moans, "Baloney! Baloney! Baloney!"

Then, she shouts, "Pastrami! Pastrami! Pastrami!"

Then, she changes back to, "Baloney! Baloney! Baloney!"

Finally, the girl’s sister yells,

"Will you guys quit making sandwiches up there? You’re getting mayonnaise all over me!"

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I got cut up by a taxi driver last week.:mad:

I was walking through town today and I recognised him at the back of the queue at the taxi rank.

I got in the first taxi in the queue and said

"How much to the station ?" "£5" said the driver.

"And how much for a blow job ?" I asked him.

"That's disgusting" he said "Get out of my cab

I got in the second taxi and said

"How much to the station ?". "£5" said the driver.

"And how much for a blow job ?" I asked him.

"I'm not having any of that" he said "Get out of my cab"

I worked my way down the line, getting thrown out of each taxi in turn, until I came to my target at the back of the queue.

How much to the station ? £5" said the driver.

Ok" I said "Let's go

As we pulled out and overtook the other taxis I wound the window down and gave all the other drivers a thumbs up with a big grin on my face.
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Wife texts husband at work:

"Windows frozen,what should l do?"

Husband answers "Spray with de-icer or pour hot water on em".

10 minutes later,wife texts



"Done that, computer completely fooked now".