Most incorrect thing you were taught?

christmas2012

being in primary school you had to believe in the existance of a god or else HELLFIRE! :eek:

Reg'stoy

Crime doesn't pay and ladies prefer nice guys.

boomkatalog

Young girls who dress sexily are 'rape bait' and shouldn't dress that way if they want to continue on not being attacked (genuinely taught this)

Which reminds me, we were also taught it was ok for doctors to touch our private parts.

When drivers see that you have an L on your car, they'll hang back and give you a break....

Irishgoatman

finality wrote: »

That reminds me of my English teacher, she pronounces hyperbole as "hyper bowl". Luckily American Dad taught me the correct pronunciation, but I don't have the heart to say it to her. :P

Just started reading some of these, some are unbelieveable.

Especially the above one:eek:. Fair play to your Dad but really? an American correcting english?. I hope he didn't teach you spelling!

Favor. Flavor. Just two that spring to mind.

source

Irishgoatman wrote: »

Just started reading some of these, some are unbelieveable.

Especially the above one:eek:. Fair play to your Dad but really? an American correcting english?. I hope he didn't teach you spelling!

Favor. Flavor. Just two that spring to mind.

Ahmmm I think he meant this:

Irishgoatman

source wrote: »

Ahmmm I think he meant this:

Oh yes, didn't think of that. Thank you.
They don't do any spelling on there do they. Thank god! (lower case as it's just an expression).

Realy enjoying this thread.

Crooked Jack

sbsquarepants wrote: »

Jack, do you listen when she talks?:D:D

I try, I really do, but she has the most amazing rack that bounces and jiggles at the slightest movement. it just mesmerises me and I zone out.
I think its the reason our relationship has lasted so long.

Monty Burnz

Irishgoatman wrote: »

Oh yes, didn't think of that. Thank you.
They don't do any spelling on there do they. Thank god! (lower case as it's just an expression).

Realy enjoying this thread.

Ironically, hyperbole is often pronounce 'hyper-bowl' by actual American dads.

shuridunno

The principal of our primary school told us there was a man in Russia with his finger on a button, that he could push at any time, that would blow up the world if we didn't behave.

The world is on an axis and can fall off at any minute, again....you guessed it....killing us all. And the biatch was a nun.

Oh the fun of primary school, and I'm ashamed to admit, I believed those two things far too long.

Dan133269

shuridunno wrote: »

The principal of our primary school told us there was a man in Russia with his finger on a button, that he could push at any time, that would blow up the world if we didn't behave.

I'd be inclined to think that's actually true!

0066ad

That St Bridget's day was the first day of spring

Quazzie

0066ad wrote: »

That St Bridget's day was the first day of spring

In the Northern hemisphere it is

Wompa1

Was taught by two different teachers in two different schools that Americans are loud, annoying, fat and stupid. On the plus side it did teach me about generalizations and the term penis envy

Duggys Housemate

Quazzie wrote: »

0066ad wrote: »

That St Bridget's day was the first day of spring

In the Northern hemisphere it is

Nope. March 21st.

Duggys Housemate

Crooked Jack wrote: »

My girlfriend is an environmental something or other. basically schools come to the field centre she works in and they do all sorts of experiments and lessons. Anyway, she says she is constantly fighting with teachers who teach their class things like "rivers get slower as they go downstream" and things like that.

Rivers definitely slow down. I've seen them reverse.

Seanchai

0066ad wrote: »

That St Bridget's day was the first day of spring

In Ireland this is perfectly correct. Just as Bealtaine/1 May is start of summer, Lúnasa/1 August is start of autumn, and Samhain/1 November is start of winter. It has been thus for many, many centuries. It's unlikely to change merely because the Oxford English Dictionary, and the British generally, start each of these seasons a month later.

seXmym0nkey

thebigbiffo wrote: »

that buffalo are extinct. remember when buffalo hunky dorys came out? and they had a bit of a speil on the back about how they kept buffalo in co. meath? well, i was the laughing stock of the office that day let me tell ya.

and she was the primary school principle. bint.

Sorry to bring up the buffalo again, but has anybody else noticed the picture on buffalo Hunky Dorys is of Bison?

jill_valentine

shuridunno wrote: »

The principal of our primary school told us there was a man in Russia with his finger on a button, that he could push at any time, that would blow up the world if we didn't behave.

Depends on how badly you behaved, I suppose -

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Dead_Hand_(nuclear_war)

During the bad old days of the Cold War, a system was set up so that the Russians could be sure of retaliating at the US with a nuclear attack, even if they had already been nuked to cinders and the entire high chain of command was dead.

The heart of the system is said to lie in deep underground bunkers south of Moscow and at backup locations. In a crisis, military officials would send a coded message to the bunkers, switching on the dead hand. If nearby ground-level sensors detected a nuclear attack on Moscow, and if a break was detected in communications links with top military commanders, the system would send low-frequency signals over underground antennas to special rockets.

Flying high over missile fields and other military sites, these rockets in turn would broadcast attack orders to missiles, bombers and, via radio relays, submarines at sea. Contrary to some Western beliefs, Dr. Blair says, many of Russia's nuclear-armed missiles in underground silos and on mobile launchers can be fired automatically

He [the Soviet leader] would flip on a system that would send a signal to a deep underground bunker in the shape of a globe where three duty officers sat. If there were real missiles and the Kremlin were hit and the Soviet leadership was wiped out, which is what they feared, those three guys in that deep underground bunker would have to decide whether to launch very small command rockets that would take off, fly across the huge vast territory of the Soviet Union and launch all their remaining missiles.

In theory, if the line to Moscow went dead, the decision to let the missiles fly would indeed rest on those three blokes in the bunker.

The best part is, since the Soviets characteristically kept it top secret, and the Americans didn't know about it, it had absolutely no deterrent effect, which was the entire point of it to begin with. Since it only went into effect if the USSR had been obliterated, it wouldn't achieve anything militarily either.

In conclusion, during the Cold War, we done lost our f*cking minds. And as a happy afterthought, some form of Perimeter is still believed be in operation.

Sleep tight.

Crooked Jack

Duggys Housemate wrote: »

Rivers definitely slow down. I've seen them reverse.

Me too, but dont dare say that to her. She has research and graphs and shit and she will take them out and make you look at them.

Quazzie

Duggys Housemate wrote: »

Nope. March 21st.

So you're saying its still Spring now, December 20th is in Autumn, and that St Patrick's Day is in Winter?

Big Nasty

Quazzie wrote: »

So you're saying its still Spring now, December 20th is in Autumn, and that St Patrick's Day is in Winter?

Sounds about right in fairness! :pac:

Boombastic

seXmym0nkey wrote: »

Sorry to bring up the buffalo again, but has anybody else noticed the picture on buffalo Hunky Dorys is of Bison?

American Bison is what Mr. Tayto has, not Buffalo

Gurgle

Duggys Housemate wrote: »

Rivers definitely slow down. I've seen them reverse.

There's some new-fangled notion doing the rounds, might be worth your while googling it. I think its called 'gravity' or something.

shuridunno

jill_valentine wrote: »

Depends on how badly you behaved, I suppose -

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Dead_Hand_(nuclear_war)

During the bad old days of the Cold War, a system was set up so that the Russians could be sure of retaliating at the US with a nuclear attack, even if they had already been nuked to cinders and the entire high chain of command was dead.



In theory, if the line to Moscow went dead, the decision to let the missiles fly would indeed rest on those three blokes in the bunker.

The best part is, since the Soviets characteristically kept it top secret, and the Americans didn't know about it, it had absolutely no deterrent effect, which was the entire point of it to begin with. Since it only went into effect if the USSR had been obliterated, it wouldn't achieve anything militarily either.

In conclusion, during the Cold War, we done lost our f*cking minds. And as a happy afterthought, some form of Perimeter is still believed be in operation.

Sleep tight.

<<<<reaches for Xanax>>>>>>>:eek:
Thankfully being blown up isn't a problem for me now:D
I wonder was that nun a spy.

The world's not on an axis..right?...are we gonna get flung into a black hole if it flies off. The nun used to show us how it'd happen with a globe on a plastic axis, she'd spin it around and then pull it off. We used to all **** oursleves;-)

Boombastic

shuridunno wrote: »

The world's not on an axis..right?...are we gonna get flung into a black hole if it flies off. The nun used to show us how it'd happen with a globe on a plastic axis, she'd spin it around and then pull it off. We used to all **** oursleves;-)

The world is on an axis and can fall off at any time - fact. Me & the lads had to go down there a few years ago and carry out repairs to stop this from happening, just like the nun said it would.:D

Quazzie

MCMLXXV wrote: »

Sounds about right in fairness! :pac:

The seasons are decided by the Winter and Summer solstice. The Winter Solstice is 21st December (shortest day of the year) and this is Mid winter and the Summer solstice is tomorrow (longest day of the year). Tomorrow is mid summer, which is why Summer starts on May 1st.

shuridunno

Boombastic wrote: »

The world is on an axis and can fall off at any time - fact. Me & the lads had to go down there a few years ago and carry out repairs to stop this from happening, just like the nun said it would.:D

Shur now I can relax, knowing there's a team of guys on the job;)

Big Nasty

Quazzie wrote: »

The seasons are decided by the Winter and Summer solstice. The Winter Solstice is 21st December (shortest day of the year) and this is Mid winter and the Summer solstice is tomorrow (longest day of the year). Tomorrow is mid summer, which is why Summer starts on May 1st.

LOL - I know that!

But..........December was pretty mild, Paddy's was freezing and the last couple of weeks have been a mixture of slightly warm during the day, cold at night and scattered showers, what you would normally expect for Spring.

Boombastic

the summer solstice isn't always on the 21st of June, it varies from year to year between the 21st and the 22nd

faceman

Maybe more a "what I was not taught" as opposed to being something that was incorrectly taught.

My science teacher was teaching us a biology lesson in 1st year and said that when the cartilage wears down in your knee and bone rubs against each other, "well we all know what happens then".

Given the tone of the comment, I was afraid to put up my hand and say i didnt know what happens. His comment stuck with me since then.

Anyway cut to a fresher class with him a couple of years later pre Junior Cert and bang when doing a piece of biology and cartilage and boom, out he comes with the "well we all know what happens then". I was so blown away that he used the same line, in the same way that I never put up my hand.

To this day, I reckon he doesnt know either.

So after hours, what happens when the cartilage wears down and bone rubs against each other? SOMEBODY TELL ME!!!!